For all those with shit sleepers, but don't want to sleep train who feel like they have the only shit sleeper!

[Catheroooo]

Look up the Beyond Sleep Training Project on Facebook, the Grubby Mummy blog on the net and download Sleep is for the Weak on the kindle.

Made me feel so much better about things, that my baby isn't broken and that I can do this (my 11 month old DD woke 5 times last night and I'm at work today but feeling positive today knowing there's so many others out there and that I'm not a failure as a mummy!).

Hi fellow insomniacs.
@Mummyme87 that advice HV gave you.. so typical! My HV doesn't have kids herself and is quite young so I find it difficult to believe any advice she freely gives. But the ol' "just rest your hand on them..." is bollocks.

sylvesterthecat I don’t have the opinion that a HCP advice is invalid as they are young and don’t have kids.. I’m a midwife qualified at 21 with no kids u TIL 27. I was definitely a better midwife in some ways ore children as no personal views to get in the way of facts and evidence. Plus my experiences are different to everyone else’s.
However, yes shit advice.

Yes my comment did come across as generalist -apologies.

I haven't rtft but am placemarking to read tomorrow!

My ds2, nearly ten months, is a massive sleep dodger. I'm shattered! I'm not fighting it or stressing about it though. Just going with it and seeing what happens. He's definitely nothing like his sleep loving older brother!

We're a week into hourly wake ups... my positive attitude is already waning.... God I just want my 3-4 hour chunks back.

Got this boy down at 8.30, woke at 9.30
And haven’t got him back down successfully yet. I just give up. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do 😥

I have found my (exhausted) people.

11.5 month old DS here, who once 12 weeks hit, gave up sleeping for longer than 2 hours, often much less.

We've been doing gradual retreat for his first sleep of the night in his cot for two months. It's very gradual and there is no retreating as I still need to sit next to him and pat at times, it has stopped him waking after 30 mins which is nice, and it feels less claustrophobic then constantly feeding to sleep. He now goes to sleep without feeding and if I'm really lucky he will do between 2 to 4 hours in the cot. If he wakes at 2hrs I can usually quickly lie him down again for another 2. I feed him after 4hrs then try to resettle in cot from awake. Then it is anyone's guess, 40mins an hour... then he cosleeps with me and will wake at least every 2hrs till 6ish.

Still feed to sleep for cot naps in the day, and shhhhhh don't tell anyone bit he has finally started linking two cycles at lunch so sometimes does 1.5hr then.

Of course the last two weeks have been hell on earth as he's cut at least two teeth and had a very nasty case of tonsillitis which resulted in 24 hours of absolutely no sleep whatsoever.

I'm verging on completely loosing my shit on a regular basis. Hate 'D'H as he's only once me helped overnight. Have shouted and been very short with DS in the middle of the night, I'm horrified with myself for this.

Most of my friends babies have slept through from 6 months or there abouts so I feel super crap and useless. I'd really wanted a sibling close to DS as I'm frightfully old but can't feasibly see how even the conception would be possible with the current night time arrangements. It's just utterly crap, I love DS more than anything and I just cope as I will do anything for him, but I'm really begining to resent the nights. I feel like I'm wishing his babyhood away just for some rest and I'm sure we'd have done so much more if he's slept better, we've not had a night away from home yet. I wouldn't change a single thing about him bit I would dearly love him to crack this sleeping lark. Hell, if be overjoyed if he could sleep in his cot with a couple of wakes over night, I don't expect miracles. Meh.

Rant over....

May I join you fellow tired people?
DS is a terrible sleeper - often waking hourly. He's also poorly at the moment.

My alarm for work goes off in less than 2 hours. I've slept for two hours tonight - not consecutive either.
I think I shall take a bucket of coffee and a straw for the train journey yawn

Hello all.

Am on my third wake up tonight with my 1 year old. This is a relatively good night , 6 or 7 resettlings is the norm over here.

I hope there's some sleep happening for all of you.

Hi guys... oh welcome and I feel you! Just done my 6 (or was it 7th,,,, sleep haze!) Wake up. My alarm is off for work at 6am..

This too shall pass (When because its use isn't quickly passing!!!).

I gave up at midnight and brought the small one in with me to feed allllllll night

Ah, I've found my people. I'm now on my second shit sleeper: ds2 is 9 months old and it's been one bloody thing after another.

Tongue tie, expressing every 90 minutes to feed as a newborn, then reflux, cow's milk allergy and having to be held upright to sleep. Since 6 months it's been waking all night to practice crawling, standing, cruising, and now on top of it all it's hardcore teething with his fifth and sixth teeth coming through at the same time and causing him real pain.

I'm not a sleep trainer. His brother eventually became a very good sleeper somewhere between 1 and 2 years and I'm willing to play the long game and just be there to feed him in the night and help him back to sleep.

But I'm KNACKERED. Like the rest of you. I'm grumpy during the day and not as patient with his big brother as I'd like. I don't think I want advice: when I admit to dh that I'm tired he tries to find solutions and that's not helpful... I just want someone to remind me it comes good in the end and that I'm not doing it all wrong.

@jinglesplodge ah you sound like me. I wanted to create this rod for my back but I also reserve the right to moan about said rod. My OH is the same as yours. He is brill and so supportive and it must be so hard watching me cry with exhaustion but not want to do things differently. He wants to fix it but I know the only way that goes is controlled crying. The only thing for me that is worse than sleep deprivation is letting my girl cry. I wish I had the benefit of experience to tell me things get better on their own. I've been to the Drs to check there is nothing medical causing the Wake ups which there is not but I still worry. Not as much as I did though. I also wish someone would tell me when it gets better, I think I would cope better if i knew in 6 months she'll sleep, but I panic myself thinking it could be 1, 2, 3 years or even more.

Big respect to those of you managing to get to work on little sleep. I returned full time for a month and it broke me. I ended up signed off while I waited out my notice period as I was so exhausted and ill.

My second child also struggled with sleeping , I think it got better around age 2 with her. Like others though , we would rather live on less money than sleep train as ime it doesn't always work. Something always comes up (teething, illness etc) to undo any 'training'. In some cases , it's only when you can have a conversation with said child that things improve at night.

I am pleased that this thread exists as I used to lurk on the November 2017 non sleepers' thread at night. I'm guessing that most of these babies sleep through by now.

This last week sleep has gotten even worse.... In the first hour after he went to bed tonight he woke up six times. It's like this all night long. Letting him feed all night gets me a bit of sleep, but no more than half an hour at a time. Fingers crossed this passes soon as I'm struggling during the day to not fall asleep on my feet!!

Sending solidarity to you... it is def a phase and will pass. You're doing ace. But sleep deprivation is rough, plus with the weather being cold and grey it's hard to get the energy.

I've finished work for the week and looking forward to a hopefully slower pace for the next few days. I hate my working week, everything is just a rush and I can't concentrate properly when I'm so tired. We'll get there!

Sorry for the late reply. He was in his own bed at 20 months. Very low bed with rolled up towel under sheet. He is the kind of baby that would have found a bed guard a distraction and reason to play! Slept next to him on the floor for fortnight. The space, lack of bars, duvet and lying next to him might have tricked him in to thinking he was co-sleeping. Realistically, it was probably the huge mental and physical growth spurt and he was exhausted. One day I turned in to one of those parents who say that their baby self settles and sleeps 7pm-7am. Controlled crying wasn't my thing but I would/should have tried his own bed earlier.

Very best of luck!