How how how to get a baby to bed/sleep in under an hour???

[Eggoispreggo]

She's 9 weeks old and I completely understand that she's very young, and there's the fourth trimester etc. BUT I'm going slowly mad with the fact that actually getting her to sleep for the night takes an hour minimum, no matter what time I start.
And the process is pretty simple here: change nappy, put in 'pjs' aka white babygro and the lightest tog sleeping bag, feed, walk around/burp her then put her down when she's almost asleep if not fully asleep.
The amount of wake ups, eyes snapping open as I put her down and false wins (she's seemingly sound asleep then 5 mins later on the monitor you hear wailing)
How can I do this in a better way??? Or is this just how the cookie crumbles with newborns?
I'd just like to be at a point where me an DP can maybe watch a programme and have a cup of tea once she's in bed, but by the time I've gotten her to sleep I end up wanting to get to sleep myself 😴
Any advice at all gratefully received even if to tell me this is normal and I should get over it!

In my experience 9 weeks is too young to expect this. We didn’t get it cracked until 5 months and even then there would be a couple of evening wake ups. By 9 months we got our evenings back.

I used to warm the moses basket/cot with a hot water bottle to avoid sheet shock when I laid mine down.

I never managed it until mine was at least fourteen (years), so wouldn't worry at 9 weeks.

Yep normal I'm afraid. Sadly for us got really bad after 4 month sleep regressing. Did sleep training at 6 months and never looked back.

Sorry OP but that sounds pretty standard for a 9wo. Their sleep goes up and down but doesn't really plateau for a good while (DS is 10mo and sometimes still takes over an hour to settle!). Those evenings will come back for now I think you might just have to roll with it. Feel free to try the expensive sleep props- Shaun the sheep, red lights, sleepyheads... some people swear by them but nowt worked for me!

At 9 weeks my dd was still in the Moses basket downstairs with us. Sleeping for 3/4 hours max before the next feed. We didn’t get any kind of evenings back until around 4/5 months. It will get easier.

We had both of ours downstairs with us until we went up to bed, and only started putting them down for bedtime at about 12 weeks old.
What time is bedtime?

I wish it only took an hour for us.. 6 week old is taking 2-3 hours sometimes and not just at night either, daytime naps are also a fight with her.

Right now she's asleep on me because she wouldn't sleep in her carrycot or nest for any longer than 10 minutes.

I've just accepted this is my life for the moment, it will get better and they're still getting used to the world and that's all we can expect for now.

And as other posters have said, she's with us until we go to bed. We don't have a 'bedtime' just when she shows signs that she's tired.. usually around 20-30 minutes after a feed.

My 10 week old will only feed to sleep and then naps on me for an hour before being put in his co sleeper.

I wouldn’t leave him and go downstairs, we have our evening in bed with him and watch something on the I pad. I think your expecting too much of a tiny baby

I just used to sit on the sofa with DS in my arms and cuddle him after a feed and he would drop off to sleep, or DH would. We just sorta sat there then cuddling baby watching tv. That was our evening.

Or if we wanted a cuppa and he was fast asleep transfer him to the Moses basket in the living room and carry on with our evening till he woke up 2 hours later for the next feed.

Don't try and rush into bedtime routines and leaving baby in a room on their own. Just cuddle up together as a family and enjoy the time, don't stress about it.

DS is now and independent, confident happy 4 year old with a set bedtime routine. He didn't really do bedtime and a routine till he was one (ISH). Me and DH probably selfishly just loved cuddling him in his little onsie for hours haha!! 😳

Thanks all 👍 I might try the hot water bottle idea thank you.
I completely appreciate that she's super young, I don't really expect a solid routine at all, just hoping for those magic bits of advice (that probably don't exist 😂)
She used to be down in the Moses basket with us until we went to bed at whatever time but I was worried that the tv noises and lights etc weren't particularly good for her if we're trying to get her differentiating between night and day and helping her circadian rhythm to get sorted.
So I bring her up at about half 8, do the routine as in original post and hope she'll go down for her first 3 or 4 hour chunk of sleep for the night. But we're at 10.15 now and I'm thinking I should give up on this plan and just keep her down with us?
The evils of tv not withstanding?

Forgot to mention OP that the SIDS guidelines advise that you have your baby sleeping in the same room as you for the first 6 months to reduce the chance of SIDS. This includes daytime naps too

@GimbleInTheWabe so I can never leave the room when she's asleep? A video monitor isn't enough I have to literally be with her every minute she sleeps?
I'm not suggesting I want her to sleep on her own room alone for the whole night, I have her in a cosleeper attached to my bed so throughout the night she's literally 30cm from my head, I just want an hour or so in the evening where she's not attached to my body. Surely that's allowed?

OP we would sit in a dimmed light, so just TV on low and a lamp or two rather than the main light, so that darker/evening feel was present.

But honestly once they are asleep they are asleep, DH watched a war film once with DS in his arms and the baby didn't stir, not even with automatic gun fire!

She will only be tiny once, relax and enjoy it honestly, don't worry about rhythms and bedtime strategies yet. Enjoy cuddles and quiet nights on the sofa together, because once they hit the toddler years you'll long for that newborn who's cry was adorable rather than the savage stood before you in pants wielding the vacuum cleaner pipe as a sword screaming "NINJA" all evening 😂

My first by 10 weeks would sleep through, just put down in his box and apart from grunting in his sleep in the wee hours was a dream.

My second took a bit longer than that but he usually went to sleep fine for the first stretch of 4-5hrs.

I literally just put them in bed though. Maybe let them have no more than 5-10 minutes to grizzle but usually (especially with my first) they just went to sleep. Night time was generally fine. Naps? Not so much. But they seemed to just get tired around 7-8pm. I had them on feeding and sleeping routines from very early. Dunno if that helped or if they were just born that way. It’s weird I always imagined myself being a hippy attachment parenting type but when it came to it I needed the security of a routine.

Both my DS slept through relatively early, DS1 from 11 weeks and DS2 from about 8. But even then I don't remember them actually going down for the night until about 10pm. It wasn't really until 3-4 months that we got evenings back. I'd say just keep them downstairs with you for the time being.

I started leaving my first alone for a few hours in the evening around then. My sanity required it. At 12weeks I kicked him out of my room for good because I couldn’t stand the sleep grunting any longer.

My second went into his brothers room at about 3months old when he was sleeping mostly 12hrs (didn’t want him waking brother) and getting too big for the box.

The guidelines are not laws. The most important one is the back to sleep one, the rest are more debatable.

@TheActualLastJedi that really made me laugh thank you 😂
We'll just go back to being a lounge baby I reckon then!! Bodyguard on low volume and minimum lighting will do 👍
Thanks all for the advice x

That is pretty normal, until 6 months my boy woke every 2 hours on the dot😴 it does get better I promise with time and you'll miss all the extra cuddles (like I do)😪

Apologies if my 'forgot to mention' came across as brash @Eggoispreggo. I really was just mentioning that in case you weren't aware that that is what they suggest. They are, after all, just guidelines and I would have certainly been happy with a video monitor for a few hours given the opportunity. Unfortunately for me DS was a magnet baby and only napped on me for the first 4 months of his life so I had no choice but to be with him when he slept ha we also used a cosleeper which was fab for night feeds.
M

Ignore the rogue M!

I put my DTs in their own room at 8 weeks, as they’d outgrown their next to me crib. They started sleeping for a glorious 5 hour stretch, and went through the night with just late one feed at about 12 weeks. I’m a terrible mother, I used dummies and euan the dream sheep to get them to sleep - it still works now! My dd does sometimes like to cry (nothing I do can console her) but that’s mainly when she’s overtired. If it’s a serious cry I’ll go in and pick them up, otherwise I’ll comfort them but leave them in their bed.

I’ve had to have a reasonably strict ‘routine’ with them from birth, otherwise I’d have collapsed by now. Good luck op, I promise it does get better!

you are allowed to do whatever you like with your baby. The SIDS guidelines are just that, guidelines not 'the law' but they are extremely effective guidelines.

Honestly, I think you are overthinking this. The baby is 9 weeks old and I TOTALLY get that you want an hour to yourself in the evening but at this age you are wasting your time way by spending hours upstairs trying to get the baby to sleep somewhere else for the sake of what will be a very very short amount of freedom. the TV and the lights before about 4-5 months old are irrelevant. Let them sleep downstairs if that's where they will sleep, start building up to moving them upstairs for a few hrs in the evening once you have navigated the 4 month sleep regression.

Give it a few more weeks and then try again. Until then try and embrace downstairs baby sleeping (I would have wanted to punch anyone who told me that at 9wo with DC1, I really really do understand)

My ds is 9 weeks and we have just got our evenings back. Literally in the last couple of weeks. He sleeps now from 7.30 ish and wakes up between 12-2 for a feed then up again around 5-6. The two wake ups are not great as it takes about an hour each time to feed and get him back down.