Had a really crap day...

[Catheroooo]

Just need to vent and get some support from similar parents.

8 month DD terrible sleeper. She wakes at the drop of a pin in her room. We have to tip toe round. We have a fan on I her room to help.

Only naps in her cot. I can get 30-45 minutes out of her in her car seat or pram. She can fall asleep ok but can't stay asleep. Watching her on the monitor she twitches at the 30-45 min mark sometimes she puts herself back to sleep after moving round and getting comfortable ... others we have to go in. I think that's why she wakes in her pram or car seat: she can't move round. I'm feeling housebound due to naps. She can go 1.5 hours at home.

Today I had to take my car to the garage so we stayed at grandma's house whilst it was done. Set up a dark room and the travel cot which she used to sleep in at home so is familiar. Had her comforter, sleeping bag and fan. Refused her naps. Had 45 mins in the pram and a 15min nap in car on way home.

Just feeling utterly deflated. I can't go out for long due to lack of naps on the go. Nightime she wakes 2-3 times before midnight, then a further wakeup around 3am.i feed her every time. I'm knackered. I go back to work at the end of Sept. She'll be at nursery and God knows how she will sleep there. I'm just at the end if my rope and just can't help thinking it's going to be this way for at least the next few years.

You're not alone, i have had a shit day too, so I'll be joining your club.

my little one is going through the 4 month sleep regression at the moment, and it is so draining!

I keep hearing that these phases will pass, so don't worry, I'm sure it won't last years.

Thats really crap OP. Also had a bad day here. 6 months, awful sleeper. Currently 1 hour into attempting to put to bed and on second bf. Also back at work but first day actually at work was ok....it's the constant sleep deprivation....when will it end?!

Hi @Catheroooo - I've spotted a few of your posts, out little ones sound really similar. Mine is 7 months, also the lightest sleeper ever even with white noise. We end up watching tv with subtitles and climbing over the creaky steps as the stairs are outside his room.

He naps pretty well in his cot but also leaves me feeling housebound - between naps and meals it feels like a bit of an endless roundabout! I don't have any advice for you but lots of sympathy

I know how you feel, have a 9mo that does not like to nap!

What happens if they only nap for 30 mins out and about? Are they grizzly?

Thanks everyone. Thingymebob... Argh it's so hard isn't it. Not quite what we thought it'd be like. Do you have optimism that it will be ok?

Yep... just done second bf after going down at 7... knackered too and I've not started back st work yet.

She's not too bad on little sleep as long as we're occupied. If I come home and there's a while until bed then it's hard. And if she's stuck in the car seat or pram She gets upset.

I mean, realistically it has to get better right? I don't know when but it will... I try and look at the positives, it used to be that he'd only bf to sleep but my husband can get him down for bed now so hopefully that will give me a bit more freedom...

We have to drive to visit my in laws for lunch this weekend and I'm stressing trying to work out to fit it around naps... I sometimes wish he were a little more flexible and adaptable so that everything didn't have to feel like a military operation!!

@Catheroooo how was your night last night? Have you had good naps today?

Would you sleep train?

Better thanks. But we stayed at home.

We're now on wakeup two since going down at 7. Urgh.

How will your baby nap when you're at the in-laws?

We did sleep train, but only to get her to sleep in her own bed. We co slept out of necessity but she woke hourly for 6 weeks and I was loopy. We triedcontrolled crying but she kept going for hours and it never shortened night by night. I knew I could go in and settle her with boob so we've got into that habit I guess.

@Catheroooo we timed the trip so he'd nap in the car - kept him up a little longer in the morning and left after lunch when he needed his second nap. He didn't get as long as he normally would but coped pretty well with it. He was a bit miserable before bed but we only had two wake ups last night which is actually really good for us.

How are you doing?

@thingybobwotsit that's great to hear!! My DD only naps for 30 mins in the car no matter when we travel so it's a bit tricky! I'm ok thanks, She's been waking lots in the night. Last night we had 2 wake ups before 10, then one at midnight and another at 4am. Usualky she goes right back down after a feed which has been my only positive to cling onto but at 4am she started protesting.... went back down after ten minutes but praying it's not going to be a habit. I'm really struggling coping with being trapped at home at naptime, feeling like I can't do this foranotherweek let alone another year or so before naps get dropped... no sign of night waking going, she fed feeds on at least two of the waking. She's so alert that she gets distracted easily during the day when feeding so there's a bit of reverse cycling going on. I've tried everything to get more into her in the day. Plus with back to work in a few weeks and refusing formula and my lack of expressing I kind of expect that to continue. It's the wake ups before 10pm that are hard. I just want some down time, struggling to believe it'll ever end.

Argh sorry, being negative today. OH is working so feeling on my own, and knowing I could go out but she won't sleep is frustrating.

There’s nothing really wrong with 45 minute naps. Mine only slept 30-45 minutes at a time for the first year of life, in OR out of the house. I think if you stop worrying about it and putting pressure on yourself you’ll feel better. At 19 months we’re at 1 nap which can be 1.5-2.5 hours x

@Catheroooo no need to apologise, it's so tough! My DH has just gone away with work, the end of the week feels very far away. Especially as I think we have a couple of teeth on the way...

Is it the formula or the bottle your little one rejects?

Thanks @crazycatlady5 yes I agree but knowing she would go longer in her cot and that she's clearly tired with just the short nap makes me stressy.... I watch her on the monitor and she always stirs at the 30-45 min mark and gets comfy again. So it makes me think she wakes up because she is confined. I wonder if that will ever change. I hope so, as that is what she struggles with at night, transitioning through sleep cycles.

@thingybobwhatsit both, but haven't tried either again for a while, but at 9 months I'm loathe to start her with a bottle as you're meant to wean them from bottles at 1....

I have lots of sympathy. My DD would only do short naps, pretty much no matter where we were. In fact, getting her to take them somewhere that wasn't on me was a major step for us. I just accepted the short naps and made them more frequent to get as much day sleep in as possible, although she really wasn't getting enough. One day she had six 30 minute naps!! Maybe that's an option? I know it's not ideal but I found if we went out and about then she'd sleep on the way and often on the way back but she was a fan of sleeping in her pram. Her night sleep was also shocking - it's so hard having no down time, isn't it? Offering glad tidings from 'the other side' - it's not perfect but it's so much better and manageable.

She was a bottle refuser too until 7 months. She still has a bottle now at nearly 15 months. She has water from a cup but milk from a bottle and I have no plans to change that.

I'm not sure if it was coincidence but my DS started sleeping through the night the day I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months.

Before it was 4-5 wakes a night.

He is now 3 and still has a bottle of milk before bed and in the morning. Throughout the day he only has cups.

Just a thought of something to try to help.

Thanks @lovemypeanut that's reassuring.

I'm struggling already this morning.she woke at 7.45, 11, 2.30, 6am then dozed until 7.30am. I fed her back to sleep each time. Aside from the first wakeup she went back down straight away but I couldn't get back to sleep easily. Whirring round my head how am i going to cope with nights like this and work, why are no 2 nights the same, when will she sleep longer, is there something wrong with her, is she hungry or am I developing habits, how will she cope with me being bavk at work next month, she won't take formula, I can't express.

Feeling totally overwhelmed this morning.

@Catheroooo I'm with you this morning. We had three wake ups - one of them two hours long. No idea why.

I too worry about how I'm going to cope on this much sleep when I go back to work - I can only hope it gets better. It's been better before so hopefully this period is a blip. Fingers crossed for you too.

He's napping now, I'm going to have a shower and then get us out in some fresh air... always makes me feel a little better!

Perhaps it would help to prioritise her naps until the situation improves? As in, be at home for the naps because she sleeps better there, and plan your day around that?
It is a nuisance but many babies don't just fit around your life and you have to fit around theirs. Some babies like routine and familiarity. Others are happy to sleep when and where...

Is she your only DC? If so, that makes it easier because you're not having to fit around another child's schedule too.

All routines will have to change when you go back to work in a few weeks anyway. Nursery may be more tiring for her and perhaps she'll sleep better.
Best of luck. I know it's difficult.

Thanks @thingybobwotsit

I'm sorry you had a bad night too. My mum always says things are better after a good night's sleep... if only!!!!

I keep reading about other 8 month old that wake a lot, trying to reassure myself that this is normal, I just need to stay positive but I'm a wimp and just seem to land in a heap and cry. I know when (hopefully) this has passed I'm going to deeply regret not just going with it and enjoying it, but I keep thinking that what if she's 2,3 or 4 or something before sleep gets better! What state will we be on then. I love my partner so much, he is so thoughtful, positive, and patient and I am extremely lucky but he gets the brunt of my irritability. What state will we be in come 4 years time?!

In a catch 22 about doing something about it. Desperate to let her find her way, believe that breast is for comfort as well as food, and won't do controlled crying. We tried it and it was hell and didn't work so won't put any of us through it again. At the same time, feeling on my knees. She's so whiney at the moment due to tiredness and all the other things she's going through and my fuse is short. Literally sat at the breakfast table sobbing this morning.

Have spent all of her life waiting for it to get better: the fourth trimester, the 4 month sleep regression, every leap, and now the 8-10 month regression.... when actually this is just how she is....

At the sametime, I think back to how desperate I was to have a baby, and all those people still in that position, or the lady in the news who has a 2 year old but she has days to live and think and how they would wish to be in my position...

Woke up every 2 hours last night and now refused breakfast. Feel like running away!

8 month is a peak separation anxiety time. She might resettle into a second sleep cycle if you’re near her? Watching her on the monitor might not be interactive enough for her.

You might be putting her to bed too early too.

I go up to settle her as soon as she wakes, and again, and again.

I've tried different bedtimes.

She's rubbing her eyes by the time I out her to bed, so she is tired. I've tried earlier before she gets to the rubbing eye stage, tried keeping her up longer.