Waking a 6 week old for sake of "routine"

[Bojangles33]

My DS is 6 weeks old and I'm trying to get him into a semblance of a routine so I can start working towards longer night sleeps when he's a bit bigger, based on the "Twelve hours sleep by 12 weeks old" book.

Currently he will usually go four hours between feeds in the day but the issue is more that he will often go longer if left and just sleep. He's ok at the beginning of the night but can be hard to settle after his feed at 1-2am and then very unsettled until getting up around 7-8ish. The last few days I've been trying to wake him an hour or so before his 8pm feed to keep to the routine and have a bit more awake time but he is so hard to wake at this time that I feel a bit mean and like he needs this sleep. At this stage should I just let him set the rules and sleep and eat when he wants? I've no guarantee the routine will help with the early morning unsettledness anyway and whilst he's so little I just wonder if I'm doing more harm than good trying to keep him awake? Obviously it would be more convenient for me if he slept like he does in the day during the night hours though!!

My advise is don’t get so hung up on routines yet, let him sleep when he wants to sleep and go with the flow.

Reassess at 6 months.

Babies are biologically designed to wake up at night. They need little and often feeding. Just go with what your baby shows you he needs, not some arbitrary book

12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old?
Really?

Just go by what your baby wants. At the moment he’s learning day from night. He’s also either gone through or about to hit a growth spurt.,
Also at 12 weeks they’re coming up to the 4 month sleep regression.

Look up wonder weeks for leaps that really helps but in all honestly you don’t wake a sleeping baby unless they’re losing weight, dehydrated or jaundiced.

*your baby hasn't read the book.

Never wake a sleeping baby! Especially if your trying to get him to sleep longer. 6 weeks is so young and they're not really capable of a routine yet. Have you had of the 4th trimester? I'd wait till at least 12 weeks.

I agree with both pps. Don't get hung up on a routine just yet, Just go with what he or she wants for now, often they will get themselves in to some sort of rhythm by themselves. My ds is 10 weeks and is starting to sleep through from 10-5 by himself now, it's not a linear process and there are some nights he wakes at 3/4 for a feed, and that's fine as he obviously needs it. Be led by your baby and congratulations on your little one by the way.

@doleritedinosaur but if he's learning day from night am I doing the right thing by letting him sleep most of the day?! That's my concern I guess that I need to be keeping him awake more but I feel like it goes against my instinct to let him sleep because he must need it?

The book isn't as hideous as it sounds and a lot of it is common sense (some of it is bollocks). I'm not using it as gospel but trying some things to see if I can work towards more night sleep - I'm not expecting miracles!

12 hours sleep by 12 weeks. Really? Babies are not designed to sleep that much. A few babies will but they are very rare. Babies are suppose to wake on a night time to keep more because that is when the hormones to increase the supply of breast milk are effective.

Children are not reliably expected to sleep through without need for adult intervention until they are 7 years old.

I would never wake a baby that young. Over tired babies sleep less not more.

I didn't let mine go for longer than 5 hours during the day at that age, but I almost never had to wake him by following that rule. I found it more useful to focus on his awake time and him now becoming overtired, that improved quality of sleep for us a lot. You can Google it for a simple chart but most babies (Not all) tend to not be awake for more than and hour/hour and a half at that age before going to sleep again. In my experience that was enough time for a feed, a nappy change and a little bit of awake time before he started showing tiredness cues. At night it was just a feed and nappy change if he needed it in dim light with very little stimulus from me. That helped to distinguish night and day for us.

Going against the grain here but I would and did wake a sleeping baby. We loosely did Gina Ford and at 6 weeks DD dropped her overnight feed and was sleeping from her 10pm feed through to 7am. From 12 weeks-ish she was doing 7-7 with a 10pm dreamfeed that was eventually dropped we started weaning at 6 months. She’s now 13 months and still sleeps 7-7. So I’m a huge routine fan as it worked really well for us. But it’s not right for every baby, trust your instincts if you feel it’s not right then don’t force something that isn’t working.

12 hours by 12 weeks is mad though as it doesn’t take into account growth spurts, sleep regressions, leaps & teething.

Are you bottle or breastfeeding as if BF that’s why he’s fussy early morning.

If you keep him awake he’s going to get overtired & not sleep well at all.
I would just keep going by his routine but if you want to at night start getting in a slow routine after one of the feeds, such as a bath, dim lights, night clothes & maybe a story but honestly they figure it out themselves.

My first didn’t sleep but my second towards 12 weeks was doing 6 hours a night before a sleep regression & once that past he went straight back to 6-8 hours. But it’s only now at a year that he’s doing 7-5.

Soooooo I'm going to go against the grain.

This is what I did with DS, I'm not saying it would work you though!! Also he was formula fed and this routine wasn't exactly pre planned it just kind of happened, and I'm caveating that dates are approximate as it was 10 years ago!! Lol

I fed DS every 4 hours from the day he was born and woke him if needs be - feeds were 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm, 11pm and 3am.

By the time he was around 5/6 weeks he was going from 11pm to 5am but I still woke him at 7am and "topped him up" (ie he was having less).

By 8 weeks ish he was sleeping through to 7am and completely missing the 3am feed.

By 10 weeks the 11pm feed was a "top up" at 9pm (sleeping through to 7am) and by 12 weeks yep you've guessed it, sleeping right through from 7pm to 7am.

I should add that by this point he was also only sleeping around 1 hour mid morning, sometimes not at all and never slept more than 2hrs in the afternoon.

At 10 years old he still likes his 10-12hrs a night now

@FrangipaniBlue and @TroubledLichen my next question then is how did you wake them?!? He is pretty resistant to it!

Hm
Is it hot where you are? I'm Just wondering if a 6 week old should feed more frequently than 4+ hours in this weather. Personally I would wake after 4 hours MAX during the day, just in case he was getting a bit dehydrated. Is he bf or ff?

He's FF. Part of the issue is getting him to wake up in the day so not sure how I could get him to take more!

Thanks for the advice though, seems like the consensus is just follow his lead. I'm not too hung up on the 12 hours thing it's just the name of the book! I'm just aiming for slightly more restful night sleep as he seems capable of good sleep and is so unsettled at night

At that age I did lights on/curtains open, pick up and nappy change. Never had much, if any resistance though!

He's only 6 weeks old, definitely be led by him.

We kept our LO in a darkened room at night, even if it did take ages to re settle,
We kept her night wind down routine the same and followed her lead for any naps etc

She did start sleeping through by 4 months, 7pm-6am dropping her night feed herself. She's been doing that for nearly two months.
I do think it's still a little early but can't hurt to try, just don't stress - best bit of advice I was given is that we can read all the books and plans we want, but baby hasn't!

Congrats on your LO x

You are meant to bottle feed ‘responsively’ now aren’t you? Well you can’t be doing that if it’s to such a strict schedule so for a start it’s going against current advice. Also it will most likely be a waste of time. Illness, teething, growth spurts, sleep regressions and you’ll be back to square one (I’m told although my BF dd was always a good sleeper after 7m and never changed her routine due to those factors), I still have no idea what a ‘sleep regression’ is!

In fairness he's pretty good at the daytime naps and will settle himself for those so I am lucky in many respects! Perhaps best just to let him get on with it and see what happens. I have a year before I'm back in work so no urgent need for fixed schedule yet. Thanks all

Mine have both been good(ish!) sleepers and I never woke to feed, they were both ff from birth. I read GF before I had dd and I liked it, I need routine myself and although I knew it was unrealistic- I wasn't putting my baby to nap in a cot in a dark room in the daytime for example loosely going by it helped me. We defined day and night fairly easily early on I think, daytime naps were in bouncer/ rocker/ on sofa/ in pram. With the telly on, washing machine going, doorbell ringing, etc. Nighttime was after bath, bedclothes, put into cot or in the early days swaddled and put into rocker (that we used as Moses basket) no lights on other than telly turned down, fed quietly with only a bit of shhhing and stroking/ cuddling and then swaddled back up after and put in rocker. DS was born just as winter came so it was easier but for DD the curtains were closed and blinds down. If they were sleeping longer in the day I didn't 'wake' them as such, just moved them about or banged about a bit. If they slept for a big stretch at night I'd try to get an extra bottle in the next day or put a few extra ml in for the nighttime feed to see if they'd take it. Imagine if you got a baby that was happy to sleep 7-7 from a very early age (they do exist, my DS had 3!) and you kept waking it up and pissing it off?!

I never let mine go more than 3 hours between feeds in the day. Woke them at 7am every day and at that age I'd wake from their last nap by 5-6ish so they could have some awake time before bedtime routine.

I agree that you should let him set his own routine with feeding. Just go with the flow. However, make sure you're beginning the association that night time is quiet and dark. Perhaps a bath before his last feed and read a story or play some music. This will be the beginning of him understanding the difference between night and day. And lead to longer night time sleep. Talk to him lots in the day and have noise in the the house, even when he is napping. He will get there. I have four boys under 6, it can be tough!

Let sleeping dogs (and babies) lie. I never woke mine if they were asleep.

Yes, am doing daytime naps in pram wherever we are - downstairs with usual daytime noises if we are just at home. Bedtime is quiet and keeping lights dim, not chatting and cooing at him etc so think I'm doing what I can at the moment.