Waking a 6 week old for sake of "routine"

[Bojangles33]

My DS is 6 weeks old and I'm trying to get him into a semblance of a routine so I can start working towards longer night sleeps when he's a bit bigger, based on the "Twelve hours sleep by 12 weeks old" book.

Currently he will usually go four hours between feeds in the day but the issue is more that he will often go longer if left and just sleep. He's ok at the beginning of the night but can be hard to settle after his feed at 1-2am and then very unsettled until getting up around 7-8ish. The last few days I've been trying to wake him an hour or so before his 8pm feed to keep to the routine and have a bit more awake time but he is so hard to wake at this time that I feel a bit mean and like he needs this sleep. At this stage should I just let him set the rules and sleep and eat when he wants? I've no guarantee the routine will help with the early morning unsettledness anyway and whilst he's so little I just wonder if I'm doing more harm than good trying to keep him awake? Obviously it would be more convenient for me if he slept like he does in the day during the night hours though!!

I did Gina Ford with my son but could never wake him for the 10pm so he used to go through til 1 or 2 am through til morning and eventually dropped the middle of the night feed. I think that 12 weeks is realistic for going through the night even if it means half a feed at 5am. But then I was doing solids from 3 months as this was 2003! Happy times, btw he easily does 12 hours now

You might be really disappointed by the 12 hours thing. Mine are 6, 3 and 1. None of them sleep for 12 hours,

@Bojangles33 I used to make the bottle up ready and then while it was cooling I'd just pick him up and kind of talk to him and play with him, rouse him gently over maybe 10/15 minutes iyswim?

Then I'd just stick the bottle in and away he'd go ?!

This is going to sound really wrong but I didn't cuddle him in during feed time so he couldn't really go back to sleep, I'd kind of hold him away from my body because I'd read in a book (as you do with your pfb!) that you need to make sure they don't confuse feed time with cuddle time - I look back now and sometimes think Ffs frangipani you were bloody bonkers

@FrangipaniBlue haha the things we do in the vain quest for sleep 😂

Hi, I've got a 3 week old so I'm following with interest.

However I think I read that babies don't start producing melatonin until around 8 weeks so they won't tell the difference between night and day til then so will sleep when they want to basically. No training will work until then.

Never wake a sleeping baby (unless unwell obviously and you need to to feed or check ok)

Remember that part of the reason babies wake frequently is that very deep, unroused sleep is a SIDS risk. This is why the advice to sleep at least in same room until 6 months min is there- babies are able to rouse themselves more easily if they're close to you and can hear you.
Disturbed sleep is very hard to get used to, but I wouldn't be happy about a 6 week old sleeping hours and hours overnight unless they were right next to me.

I've just re-read my response to this thread, and add that we do have a little 'transitional' routine that tells ds it's now night time, so at 7pm he has a bath, changed in to a sleep suit and lovely clean nappy, has a feed and a cuddle and is then put down to sleep until i go to bed when he has his final feed and goes to sleep in his next 2 me crib at the side of my bed.

Only my personal opinion but I feel so sad when I see parents who force a routine on a tiny baby. Would you be happy only eating and drinking every 4 hours? If you were in a crucial stage of development and growing fast would you want to be woken from a deep sleep?
My nearly 6 month old is still waking every 3 hours at night for a BF and is on 3 puréed meals a day already. She’s hungry!
As far as I’m concerned it’s what my maternity leave is for. Yes it’s hard some days with a 3 year old to entertain as well but a baby will tell you what they need and when. I feel quite strongly that it really shouldn’t be the other way round.

@KMoKMo I think you've misunderstood my post. I'm not making him stretch out times between feeding, quite the opposite I'm debating whether I need to wake him to feed him at the 4 hours because he's still asleep! Yes I want him to eventually sleep longer at night but I'm not expecting this to happen now, I'm trying to work out of getting him into a routine in the day now will help when it gets to that stage.

@Bojangles33 Sorry I wasn’t really talking about your post but about the other posters who only fed at set times. I personally think for the first 6 months at least you should just follow their lead. They won’t sleep through hunger and sleep for their developing brains is so important.
Both of mine were nocturnal for quite a few months. Slept like little peaceful angel for hours in the day but the night was another matter. They all get there eventually. Good luck!

Thanks KMokMo for that patronising post, my DD doesn’t need you to feel sad for her thanks for very much. We all have different ways of doing things and what matters is finding what works well for your baby and your family. Bottle feeding is also a bit different to breast feeding and babies do tend to inevitably get into a bit more of a routine, I don’t think anyone is suggesting forcing something if your baby isn’t receptive to it. The first year with a baby is tough enough without us all judging each other, it’s not nice and there’s no need for it,

when was this book published?! sounds like what my MIL did with H back in the early eighties..