confused.... why's it ok to offer food but not comfort?

[mabbit]

My little girl is a year old now and a very bad sleeper. She wakes every two hours all through the night. A couple of weeks ago Hv told me I was damaging her and must do cc. It didn't work at all. Was horrid and wish I'd never tried. Now she says i've got to stop her feeding at night. Says she doesn't need the food and it's only for comfort and it is i suppose.

But why is it ok to feed her in the night if she's hungry, but not ok to give her comfort if she needs it? Aren't both those needs important? Very confused

Thank you for those links. I've had a good read of Swizzlers that I printed out yesterday and yours DaddyJ. I feel a lot better about dd's sleeping being normal and me sleeping with her being ok. Thanks everyone for that. I just got to convince dp now, that cc isn't the best and only way for us. Then get him to convince his mum.

I do take Moondogs point that it's important for the father to be happy too. This is a hard one at the mo, for us. I know he just wanted to get our nights back and i agreed to try cc to keep him happy. But then i started thinking he must really hate dd to be able to hear her cry like that. Me too cos i was nearly as bad as her. Then i wanted to stop and he didn't and it was like he was making me choose between them. And i did didn't i? So i've got to find another way of making everybody happy. Suppose that isn't sleep thread anymore it's relationship. Sorry to rabbit on

The way you expressed this was SO helpful mabbit - that it is ok to both comfort and feed - thank you. We have similar but different issues - amazing what sleep or the lack of it can do to a relationship.
You are a great mum. Don't let them bully you! I hope you can keep serene whilst they are hassling you knowing that you are making perfectly fine suggestions