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Original poster

7 mo DD only falls asleep on boob - need to remedy this HOW???

80 replies

lovefamily · 09/05/2007 18:23

Ive been here before and 'know' some of you lovely ladies already. Its been a while and theres so many long threads its impossible to read through them all. Basically I co-sleep with dd of 7 months and always have - she is bf to sleep and also for day naps.

I have decided its time to get it sorted once and for all but cant decide how. Hate the idea of CC but dont know how else to get it sorted and if i did do CC what are the finer details (ie do you go in every few minutes, pick them up - how does it work?). I have the NCSS book and have heard of other methods. I am wanting to move dd into her cot in her own room but know this is quite a change to what shes used to. Any advice would be great or simply hearing what has worked for you - would love to hear from ladies on the 'Sleep is for the Weak' thread as I was an active 'poster' a few months ago

cruisemum - you had the same situation as me - hows it going?

OP posts:
Original poster
lovefamily · 12/05/2007 09:35

thanks again cruisemum. am all set - just getting her bedroom and cot ready etc and all in place.

have a good weekend

OP posts:
cruisemum1 · 12/05/2007 19:55

lovefamily - hope it goes well. Remember that your lo has a short memory and you are teaching her a valuable skill...

Original poster
lovefamily · 17/05/2007 18:12

is moving her from co-sleeping and falling asleep bf'ing to own room in cot with no bf at night too much?? should i do something inbetween. Shes had 8 months of falling asleep on breast and snuggling up to me - before i start this im just wondering if i should do something inbetween so its not such a shock to her.

thoughts anyone?

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lilysma · 17/05/2007 20:25

No answers, I'm afraid, but I have the same dilemma and am trying gradual withdrawal for this reason, but don't seem to be getting anywhere . Have you made any progress?

Kathyis6incheshigh · 17/05/2007 20:27

I did cc with my 5 month old on Sun night & the last 3 nights he has slept!!!! Feels like a miracle & am so glad I did it.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Original poster
lovefamily · 17/05/2007 21:36

yes i thought of trying gradual withdrawel but it sounds hard and long - then i thought whats the point of getting her used to being in her cot in our room, then in her cot in her room and then with no bf in her cot in her room. It felt like messing her around getting her used to the inbetween stages and then changing it again until we reach our aim and think i should just go straight for it.

lilysma - sorry to hear gradual withdrawal hasnt worked for you - are you in the same situation as me? bf'ing and co-sleeping to sleep? I pretty much decided to do cc (as much as every bone in my body doesnt want to) am just getting cot and room ready and waiting til half term holiday as dh will be home plus ds1 is doing tests at school at mo.

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Judy7 · 18/05/2007 14:09

HI I had similar problems with ds who is 8 months...he was being bf to sleep every ngiht, co-sleeping and munching all night...I just got to the point where I couldn't cope any more. cc worked astonishingly quickly...best tip I read was to express some milk on to a breast pad or similar and put it in his cot...I'd put it under his cheek and it really worked.

Good luck!

cruisemum1 · 18/05/2007 17:21

lovefamily - still watchung yur progress with hope and interest

crayon · 18/05/2007 18:00

At about 8 months we started putting him down awake and staying in the room and 'shhhhing', hanging over the cot and cuddling etc. Gradually we were able to move out of the room and with lights off. We decided we didn't want to do controlled crying as such because of his age. The first night took about one hour 45 mins or so, and within a few nights we was fine.

You do have to keep it up though because they soon forget.

Good luck

cruisemum1 · 18/05/2007 20:25

hi crayon - just interested to know... does your lo now go down awake in the cot? Mine does since I did cc but he either cries loudly in protest, as he did last night for around 15 mins, or grizzles quietly for around 8 mins, as he did tonight. Just wondering if this is pretty normal.

lilysma · 18/05/2007 21:19

Lovefamily, I bf to sleep at bedtime but then wake dd up (!) and put her down in the cot then usually hold her hand or more recently just sit by the cot and shsh. This generally works pretty well, but after about 90 mins she's awake crying again and its much more difficult to settle her so I tend to co-sleep from that point. Have been spacing the feeds so I only feed at 11-12ish and again around 5ish. She still wakes every couple of hours tho and has recently taken to staying awake at 3-4ish for an hour or so . I'm getting pretty desperate as my GW at bedtime seems to count for diddly squit later in the night and I'm just not strong enough and don't have enough sleep in the bank to sit out the cryathons in the middle of the night without at least cuddling her! Also a lot of crying seems too much for a long term method iyswim. Anyway, am trying to work myself up to cc but lots of practical obstacles atm - e.g. dh out a lot with work and an overnight trip planned in two weeks, which I wouldn't want to derail things. Or am I just putting it off ?! I have the same dilema about whether to just put her in a cot in the nursery and be done with it or whether to teach her to self-settle first and then move her. The latter seems kinder to me, but maybe not to her. Tbh I would also miss sleeping in the same room but I really can't co-sleep with all these wakings for much longer. Sigh. Will listen to your progress with interest...

lilysma · 18/05/2007 21:20

ps when is half term? i have the luxury of only one child and am still a winger

crayon · 18/05/2007 21:42

Cruisemum - well I have been stricter the last few nights and really woken him up before putting him down to sleep - rather than putting him down semi-asleep. Tonight there wasn't a squeak, and tonight he grizzled for 2 seconds. I think a bit of grizzling sounds normal though.

Lilysma - we had the same dilema and eventually taught him to self settle in our room (only took a few nights) and then put into his own room a few nights later.

cruisemum1 · 18/05/2007 21:48

lilysma - for your sleepless nights. I know you are in a dilemma and I would never wish to sway you one way or another as I know you will reach a well informed decision and do waht works for you. I too was totally against cc and tried B/W, NCSS, GW etc. all to no avail. Eventually in complete and utter sleep deprived hell I did cc. it was hard. Really hard. But it worked and was a quick fix. ds most probably does not remember the slightest thing about it (not the same for me however ) and now sleeps really well by comparison to the 2 hourlly wakings we were enduring. I just could not be arsed pissing about with lengthy drawn out versions of what (imo)always turns out to be cc anyway as I would have gone crazy. I ahve a dd too and i was turning into psycho mummy and verging on depression for sure. Do what you think is right for you and your cherub I'm just giving you my tuppenceworth! Hope you get some rest m'dear....

crayon · 18/05/2007 22:35

Wish us luck, we are going to try again to replace with water tonight.

I think if DS is distraught I will come on here and read these threads while I cuddle him, to spur me on. I don't want him to associate waking in the night with huge cuddles either, but I think we will need to do this in stages.

Perhaps we should start a thread that we can add to in the middle of the night when we are all up, as support.

Off to bed now [apprehensive smiley]

lilysma · 19/05/2007 10:11

Thanks Cruisemum. I agree, it seems impossible to make any changes with dd without some crying. I'm increasingly leaning towards cc but just trying to work out the best time to do it. Do you think it would be crazy to try it 10 days before having to go away overnight in a house full of kids (so would have to try and keep her quiet there)? Would it make more sense to wait until we get back in your experience?

crayon · 19/05/2007 10:36

I just want to add last night's experience to this thread so that those unable to face controlled crying can see that there is a wimp's way out .

The first time DS cried last night I simply got him out of the cot and cuddled him back to sleep. There was no great trauma at all. The second time (a couple of hours after the first) I followed Dr Richard Ferber's advice for babies that have been having a significant milk intake in the night, and breastfed him for just a minute or so before taking him off the breast. The idea is that you reduce each night so that you gradually reduce their hunger. I didn't think for one second that DS would accept this, but he did. Obviously there was a bit of crying and we were up for about and hour and a half. He then slept through until 6.40am when DS1 started making noises. He wasn't very hungry even then and we played for 10 minutes before feeding.

The other thing we did differently from others is that I did the work, not DH. The previous night DH tried to settle him and I think part of his anger was that it was him (the non-milk bearer) rather than me. I had liberally sprayed my top with perfume, which may have helped take his mind off things.

I hope this helps someone.

cruisemum1 · 19/05/2007 11:38

yes. i would wait. 10 days leter is too soom imo to be expecting her to stay 'set' iyswim. I would tough it out till then and do it after your visit. hth

Original poster
lovefamily · 19/05/2007 18:18

lilysma - you sound exactly like me!

after spending a LONG week or so supposedly 'getting ready' for her to go in her room i have decided not to wait til half term so the cot has been taken apart ready to go to her room. Now, at the thought of actually doing it im really not liking the idea and Ive also realised im REALLY going to miss her snuggling - ALOT!

So... perhaps as a subconscious delay - i have decided to bf to sleep in her room and put her down asleep with the thought that it will give her a chance to get used to cot and room etc. However - im sure this will probably change by the time the night comes - im all over the place to be honest, constantly thinking about it as I really want to get it right! Off to do more thinking about it all...

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lilysma · 19/05/2007 21:24

Thanks for the advice Cruise. I will try to wait! Nearly cracked tonight but dd is out and I'm too tired to think straight, let alone make such a big decision .

Lovefamily, let us know how you get on. I am definitely fighting my own attachment to sleeping with dd too! I want to sleep with her but for neither of us to wake up all night. How likely is that

Off to bed now...

Original poster
lovefamily · 20/05/2007 23:03

the evening was hectic and hadnt had a chance to even 'show' dd the cot and sit her in it to get used to it etc so slept her in with me. a few days of getting used to it and i plan to see how it goes putting her in it asleep - however may still change mind

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lilysma · 21/05/2007 09:42

Well, I have pretty much decided to do cc tonight . Can't believe I have got to this point, but I just can't go on with this little sleep and GW doesn't seem to be working. She just won't let me get to the stage of sitting by the cot without touching her, without going into meltdown and I actually think I'm prolonging the agony by being there.

My only worry is how to deal with the night feeds. I have got her down to 1-2 but she won't settle without one somewhere aroubnd 4-5 at the moment. How should I play this with cc? Set a feedtime and only feed her then? Better to make it a 'dream feed' or an early morning one??

Am posting all over lots of threads to maximise advice! Is that cheeky??

cruisemum1 · 21/05/2007 11:38

lilysma - how old is lo? tbh when i did cc with ds at 7mths (then again ag 8mths as I had let things slip I did not feed in the night at all. he is on three meals a day plus 4 milk feeds though (doesn't take more than about 15 oz or so in total) so I was sure he was only waking for a suck. cruel but kind and necessary imo. hth

lilysma · 21/05/2007 12:59

Cruise, dd is 6 months and not properly on solids yet (nothing much to speak of) so I'm not really confident that she doesn't need a night feed, even though most of the books suggest she shouldn't

cruisemum1 · 21/05/2007 13:03

lilysma - then i wouldn't attempt any night weaning but space the feeds so that they are at least four hourly. You know best

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