Bath time makes baby hyper before bed - change of bedtime routine

[Jellybabie3]

Anyone else experience this? For weeks we've noticed 5mo DS gets very difficult to settle before bed. Its been taking up to 90mins from getting to our room. His arms flail and he chats, stares at the ceiling, curtain, any light in the room (we make it as dark as poss but have a groegg and night light which make shadows). He feeds well but then gets very cranky which either results in me trying to bounce and shush or feed (which ultimately results in comfort feeding). This really does take 60-90min so added on to his bath means hes awake for 3 + hours.

We thought it was overtiredness but have really been nailing the naps atm. Hes stopped feeding to sleep for naps and going down alone. Night times are a nightmare in comparison. Albeit he cant self settle and wakes 5 or 6 times.

His routine is roughly

6-7am wake up
Nap 1 hour 15 later
Awake 1.30 - 1.45
Nap

Repeat irrespective of number of naps until 7-8pm where we would take up for bath, massage, story and feed before bed.

I'm thinking we may need to ditch the evening bath which is shame for both daddy and for a routine hes used to.

Did anyone else have similar and did you find a good routine minus the bath??

Sorry i probably sound dim but you do get advised all sorts of stuff. I have been looking for eye rubs and then getting him to sleep. In hind sight I am being too hasty. Hes just gone down for 2nd nap (i know but he got up early) lovely after 2hr 10 so I clearly have been getting it wrong.

So far today:

6.15am wake up
1 hr 20 min awake
7.35 nap for 40mins
2hr 10min awake
10.25am nap ongoing

Tomorrow i will have to try and draw out that first nap abit.

Really useful advice thanks so much!

I don’t think many people literally NEVER leave a sleeping baby until they are six months old...
all the mums I know (who have babies around five months old) and myself included use nap times to get stuff done eg shower, clean, have a cuppa and watch tv! And then literally all of us use monitors in the evening to get a couple of hours free time. For me the risk of sids at this age from leaving them in a safe sleeping environment with a breathing monitor for a couple of hours is very small, and I use that evening to have dinner and have a couple of hours of baby free time with DH. It’s not as if the risk suddenly drops to zero the second they turn six months - personally I think you’re taking the guidelines a bit too literally! No wonder you’re feeling a bit doolally, give yourself a break you’re doing a great job and a couple of hours in the evening will really help

I found it easier to bathe anywhere from 2 hours before bedtime or just after the second to last bottle of the night. So it would be (for me when DS was 5mo) 5pm bottle, 5.30 - 6pm bath time (he loved it and got excited and played a lot) then he would just play on his playmat, roll around the floors and then get tired and chill out from then until 9pm. Then he had his last bottle at 9pm in the bedroom with lights off, no eye contact and no talking and he was out like a light seconds after we put him down in his crib.

@Sunday89 i get you i really do. I do leave him for naps or even in the morning whilst hes sleeping to get up dressed etc as its so much easier then waiting for him to wake.

We just dont have a breathing monitor, only a basic one so we have been anxious putting him upstairs and coming back down for a couple of hours. Weve had the argument many times that he doesnt tick over as safe the day he turns 6 months (trust me lol)

We talked about buying one but it leaves the one we have redundant (annoying) and its £ for 1 month really. Theyre quite pricey aren't they.

Yes of thousands of years of human evolution and we now want electronic devices to look after tiny babies instead of us. I despair.

You can use them up until they are two I think? We don’t have a video monitor just the angelcare one with the sensor pad for under the baby and a listening walkie talkie thing. Could you return the one you’ve not used?

@TittyGolightly by leave him i mean stand in the hall way whilst shuffling on some jeans, brushing teeth...the longest hes ever out of my sight in that case may be 2mins while i grab something.

No we stupidly brought it when i was about 6months pregnant and took it out the box. Excited mummy syndrome

Bathroom lights can be very bright and bluish which can be disturbing. Could you switch to LED candles and then keep low light levels as you go into the bedroom?

Personally, my DS has slept alone with the monitor since a few months old because he is a very light sleeper, and we literally couldn't roll over in bed without waking him. He didn't have any health issues and was gaining weight well so we made sure the cot was safe and used the monitor.

It's your choice to do what you like though, so in your case i'd get some headphones and watch tv on my phone or ipad. Just face the screen away from DS so the light doesn't wake him.

Jelly I’m just wondering (and I know you hate my posts) why you don’t want to try a baby led approach? I know you don’t currently have an evening but that changes in time - so when mine was 6/7 months she decided 7pm was bedtime and was very upset if not asleep. She woke a few times after 7 and I resettled but now at 13 months she sleeps from 7 until I get into bed and then had a quick feed and doesn’t wake until it’s light. I just followed her lead and it was much less stressful. Imagine if there weren’t all these books telling you what to do? You’d just go with it.

@crazycatlady5 i don't hate your posts at all!!

I'm just experimenting with his naps and was confused why he was so alert at bedtime when he has got so good at having naps....it didn't occur to me that he might just not be tired as he is pretty predictable the rest of the day (!!). He has dictated wake ups etc for weeks. His routine thus far is his own making (i couldnt force him to do something if i tried lol)

Just RTFT.

Please don't try to control all the daytime naps!!!!!! Baby will nap when they're tired. Some days you will be out in a stimulating environment and play all day, some days you will be inside and not do much and baby won't get tired as easily. So they will never need the same amount of sleep every single day and they definitely will not nap at the same time for the same time every day. The only nap you need to keep tabs on is the one before bedtime. Pick a bedtime that suits you. What time would you like your LO to sleep? And put them to bed at that time. Aim for 2.5-3 hours awake time before bed time. Keep anything too stimulating out of the way, TV on low, big lights off, not too many toys out just a few bits for your LO to play with. Then bedtime keep it quiet and dark and a simple bottle and bed. I really would not worry with the SIDS risk. You have a baby monitor and you can go upstairs to check on baby as much as you like. You are driving yourself insane not being away from baby more than two minutes at a time. Take it in turns with your DH to check on baby every so often after bedtime. Then at least you can have half an hour 'child free' to do normal non mummy things. (It's very important to do that btw).

You can either do a bath in the morning or a bath after the last nap (which will be at the start of the 2.5-3 hours awake time before bed).

It looks like theres a movement only monitor by angelcare (do could still find use for the noisy one) and its cheaper in that respect so perhaps we will explore that. Many thanks all!! I'm pleased bath times may not be the issue as its the highlight of our day with daddy

Thanks @herishere thats perfect advice. I was being thick thinking DS would go to sleep after 2 hours at bedtime and not understanding his activity was because he was still happy being awake! I assumed he was being overtired...

I will experiment a little bit and just try to make sure he doesnt get too much sleep in the day ( i would like some night sleep soon lol)

Seriously....the antenatal advice isnt great when you think about how much they dont tell you pre-baby Re: breastfeeding is brutal to begin with, naps is a game of chess, thr regressions (oh the regressions) hahaha

Things just change all the time, you'll get used to 3 naps a day and then it will be time to drop one.
The other thing is some babies will just sleep when they're tired and still sleep well at night and others need to have a good routine and be put down for naps at regular times. If you've only had one type or the other then it's easy to think all babies are like this. One of mine in particular really needed his day time sleep 'managed' (he was also the one who slept through the night first).

Hey don’t beat yourself up, you’re not being dim! It’s hard all this stuff esp if the baby doesn’t do what the books say (mine never did!). And you’re getting him to nap well so you are reading the signs well and responding. Mine pretty much only napped if being pushed around outside which was flipping exhausting. Evenings are always the trickiest time I think.
I think as he approaches 6 months you prob can relax a little on not leaving him to sleep alone. I can’t remember exactly what we did to be honest but I’m sure we weren’t still staying in the room with him all evening at that age. I will have been checking on him (every 10 mins ) but if you never leave the room when do you eat/drink/wee/put a wash on?!

Yeah i think it doesnt help hes a crap night sleeper. My bad as he doesnt self settle and so he wakes a zillion times. But he will learn in his own time. I did consider if his naps are so baby led it may be detrimental to night sleep. After all he is happy if hes awake at 1am its me thats not lol! Thanks alot

I think for us it will be near impossible to have set naps (like gina ford style) because our days are so variable. We go swimming, baby sensory etc which are all different times through the weak. I will wake him in the morn for my best guess of how he will nap so he doesn't grump his way through swimming etc but it does mean that set times arent possible every day. Else I wpuld never leave the house in case a nap was due.

Could you keep him downstairs with you in his pram bassinet until you’re ready to go to bed? My lo will only be 4 months next week but he was having melt downs in the evening because he was so tired and I didn’t fancy going to bed really early with him so now we do our bedtime routine and I put him in the pram in his sleeping bag and he stays in the living room with us until whenever I go to bed! Much better for all of us and he sleeps from 6:30-3am before waking for a feed.

I also know this is different from what others have said but what we’ve also found is that after his last nap he needs less awake time before bed or he’s too overtired and wired up to sleep. Through the day he generally has 2 hours of awake time before a nap but his last nap tends to finish about 5:15 and he’s in bed and sleeping no problem for 6:30! Maybe something to think about :)

@Snoozysleepthief thank you. We have tried getting him to sleep downstairs but ge wont unless on me....don't ask me why! Tried the same sleepyhead he has for fed downstairs and no luck...so wierd.

Ive pushed DS naps longer as the days gone on as per PP advice and so far hes settled beautifully. Hes asleep now which will be his last nap aiming for 9.30 -10pm bedtime. See what happens!

Hopefully we will then bring his bedtime forward as hes older and put to bed alone dropping the last nap and consolidating the others when hes ready.

Wish me luck for the 2.5-3 hour settle time tonight!

@jellybabie3 I still do my wee ones last feed in a dark room with white noise and transfer him into the pram with his myhummy and put the hood up so it’s dark - joys of the pram are that I can wheel it about if he happens to wake up during the transfer! It’s definitely made life much easier for us 👍🏻 Best of luck tonight!