what can I do with an unruly 9 months

[robertaplumkin]

We are at our wits end and I really really do not think i want to leave him to cry

we never recovered from
the 4 month regression, basically. so he's gone from being a good crib sleeper until 4-5am,
to being a needy co sleeper who feeds to sleep,
wakes frequently and, the final straw, will not go to bloody bed in the evening. he's standing and crawling and doesn't seem able to stop doing these things even when he's knackered. do we have any other options?! he doesn't use a dummy and he's eating loads of solids. he's down to about 1-2 BF during the day (he's too busy ) with a long session before bed and obviously 3-4 throughout the night. help!!

To summarise the boob doesn't work any more what can I do 😱

To summarise the boob doesn't work any more what can I do 😱

To summarise the boob doesn't work any more what can I do 😱

To summarise the boob doesn't work any more what can I do 😱

To summarise the boob doesn't work any more what can I do 😱

Lol sorry it said it wasn't posting 🙊🙈

Going through similar with my 14 month old DD. It's HELL. You have my sympathies. Only advice is keep to a strict routine and don't deviate from it (unless they're poorly, obviously). Can your partner settle them once you've fed them?

@123getwiththewicked he screams if DH approaches at bedtime. Also he is away 2/3 of the year

Stop the milk in the night and offer water? Could he have separation anxiety with df being away?

Sleeping bag? Ds couldn't crawl in one and found it difficult to stand in it.

We've tried both of those and they have resulted in meltdowns. When I offered him water he did a rage poo and was up partying til 11pm afterward once he gets in a state there is no calming him down and this is a child who has cheerfully screamed for an entire 2hr car journey.

I don't think he misses DH.. his behaviour isn't noticeably different anyway. If anything he's worse as he's more whipped into a frenzy by rough play.

What are his naps like during the day - length, frequency?

Has he completely refused a dummy?

What time are you trying to put him down to bed?

It’s probably because he’s learnt to stand and crawl that he can’t switch off. It’s another regression.

I have vague memories of teaching my dcs to lie down but what worked was just cuddling him to sleep then putting them down asleep.

My two are now 6&8 and I don’t do this anymore so it doesn’t cause long term problems. Sometimes with sleep issues (yes mine were baaaaaad sleepers) was accepting that they need the extra cuddles and attention and that This Too Shall Pass.

When my dd got to about 18 months she used to tell DH to go away at bedtime and put herself to sleep (not for me though )

Also your DH should stop with the rough play near bedtime!

Make sure your nighttime routine has lots of clues to his senses that it is "sleepytime" close all the curtains, turn off/down the lights, TV off no rough play and nothing stimulating. Just a short warm bath, quiet and calm, pjs and story. Everything once he is in bed shoukd be boring so he doesn't feel he is missing anything. Close curtains and turn down lights even in summer, keep a strong sensory nighttime routine to help his bodyclock.

Similar with 10 month old. Routine routine routine. Make sure getting decent naps during day. I had to stop Co sleeping for various reasons. First night started a property routine of breastfeedin

Pressed post to soon!

Then teeth brushed and then a story then lights out. Sat beside the cot going shhh and patting mattress and if she got really upset would pick her up hug her then when she had calmed lie her down. If she was standing for ages I would lie her down and I was patting her through the bars. After a week I've moved closee to the door and going shhh. During the night I'm trying to resettle her and not fed her.

Naps are interesting. Up until about 3-4 weeks ago he would only nap on the boob (sometimes I was able to put him down for a short time in bouncy chair) and he would scream for the duration of almost every car journey. He suddenly started chatting in the car and falling asleep within 5 mins. So his naps have improved a lot although this is because I put him in the car and drive round the block 💤 he probably naps max 2hr per day. About an hour in morning, 10ish, and (on a good day) An hour between 2-3-4ish. Occasionally he has longer but this is highly irregular! This to me seems to have coincided with him becoming more difficult to feed to sleep but idk if it's a complete coincidence.

@imcrackersme did you stay in the room with her til she was asleep? How long did it take? Did she get really hysterical? My DS is purple and gasping if he gets put in cot at bedtime it's horrific and I just can't see how he could fall asleep in that state, knock himself out maybe!

I'm sure someone will be along with some practical tips to try, but sometimes i find it helps just to understand the behaviour...

sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/

Thanks @amelie427 I agree! Im clicking now!

Yes I stayed with her. Sat next to the cot and had my hand in the cot the 1st night. She did get hysterical. I just kept saying shhh sleepy time. I would pick her up when really hysterical an cuddle her till she calmed down and then lie her back down. First night took an hour and a half. Be as boring as you can whilst in the room.

My little girl was similar to yours with regards tI naps and on was told by an "expert" that she was overtired. I now put her to bed at 6pm and she has slept through some nights till 6. Which she never did before.

Is the afternoon nap perhaps a bit late? Maybe he's not tired at bedtime and so won't feed to sleep as easily as when he's genuinely tired?

Is the afternoon nap perhaps a bit late? Maybe he's not tired at bedtime and so won't feed to sleep as easily as when he's genuinely tired?

@TractorTedTed could well be! usually it's so short i barely think of it... what time should second nap be if he's awake say by 11?

I had a rule around that age to generally try and be awake from naps at 4pm at the latest otherwise she wouldn't go to sleep again at bedtime for some reason.

It's sounds weird as well but he may actually benefit from another nap during the day if he's not napping for long during his other naps. I'm pretty sure DD was still having three naps most days at that age, she's still on two now at nearly 12 months. If she misses one she is pretty wild to try and get to sleep at night. Overtired and overstimulated.