About to break! I am sitting in the toilets crying.

[New2all]

I can't cope anymore. I have a 13 month old who has slept through since 12 weeks until April this year. She got a nasty virus, Cold, teething etc. Since then she has not slept through. She wakes up at least once a night and has to have some milk to get her back to sleep. Then she will wake up for the day about 5.30/6am.
I can't cope anymore I am back at work with early starts and need more sleep. She currently sleeps in a cot in our room as we only have a two bedroom house until she's old enough to go into the second bedroom with our ds.
I am about to look at a sleep therapist or something as I am broken. Has anyone have any tips or have they used a sleep therapist they can recommend.
Thank you x

Without wanting to minimise how you are feeling one night waking and a 5.30/6 start really isn't that bad ! Lots of children wake at this time naturally and whilst it's a bit annoying it's not the stuff to nornally 'break' someone. How is your mental health otherwise ? Is it worth a GP appointment for support for you , your baby will settle again everything is a phase at that age in the mean time some early nights for you maybe ?

I am sorry if I was unclear DD has not slept through since April! Not one night, and when she's awake it's for 3/4 hours.

Yes! I was you. It was awful and I'm sending you a big hug. We used a recommendation from here - sleep consultant hannah at yummy baby group. She transformed our daughter's sleep and our lives for the better. All the best to you all.

Do you have a partner? Can you take it in turns, one night him, one night you?

What time does she go down for the night? Is there any chance your partner can put her to bed one night, and you the other, and the one not responsible for settling baby + older child just goes to bed as soon as possible?

Bunloaf can you PM me some more information please?
Thecat my partner is amazing he does a lot of it, it's just as soon as she's awake it wakes us both up and then it's the getting back to sleep issue. She goes to bed at 7.15 ish (after bath, bottle and book), it's really upsetting me as I know I love her but I am lying on my ds floor as I have no where else to do and DD is currently singing and playing.

Sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. It's so hard when a good sleeper turns into a rubbish one, even when you're not at work.
I used this lady having seen a couple of recommendations on MN and she was amazing. I think we've had less than a handful of night wakings in the last six months and my 15 month old now usually sleeps 7-7. I so wish I had found her sooner...
http://www.childsleepsolutions.co.uk
Good luck and hope it gets better soon.

As a short-term measure to get some sleep - can you alternate the nights, etc., and the one having the night off sleeps in your ds' room (with ds)?

When we were sleep-deprived, we'd take it in turns to sleep on the kitchen floor. It sounds so extreme but we were so tired. The one 'on duty' would load child into pram and walk him (ds) around outside (we didn't have a car then). Anything to get sleep.

We did cio at 14 months as it was a few wake ups a night and I was pregnant and couldn't cope anymore. It was 3/4 nights and it solved the problem for life. We've never co-slept as both dc are very happy in their own rooms and love their own space. Ds used to wake to play. It worked for us but was very stressful for those few nights. He's a confident happy boy so it's not affected him. The lack of sleep he was getting was affecting him more.

I'd stop the milk on wake ups too. Just water and no interaction.

My dd had night terrors for a year or so. We never left her and would always go to her even though there was nothing we could do. But waking because sleep is boring was not On!

Can you go to bed earlier in the evening? I appreciate it can be boring and the last thing you want to do after work but these things really are temporary and won't last forever. I have an 8 month old who wakes frequently and has done since birth so I totally know how you feel x

What is her daytime sleep like New2all?

Does she go from awake to asleep in the cot?

Oh OP! I have had 3 dreadful sleepers. My last one didn't sleep for 2 1/2 years. It nearly killed me... seriously. I ended up with an 8 months long bout with a viral induced autoimmune disorder. Fucking awful. And yet I'd crawl through fire for my little boy! Go figure.

Co sleeping made it waaay better though. It wasn't perfect but I was able to get 4-5 hour stretches of sleep which was miraculous.

DH and I braced ourselves for a total period of no intimacy and just hunkered down and chose survival.
Get a mattress on that floor in the second room. You and DH can take turns sleeping on the mattress in your DS's room while baby sleeps in your bed with one of you.

It totally gave us back our sanity and although our DS still woke up, it was for very short periods of time and his 5am wake up calls became 7-8am wake up calls. Up until that point, DH and I couldn't cope. We didn't have the stamina to try various methods. We couldn't think our way out of a paper bag.

We just thought, "How can we all get more sleep?" We also gave a bit of milk around 3-4am. Any port in a storm.

He's 3 years and 4 months now, our last in line of non-sleepers. I'm still tired but not soul destroyed. You get to a point where you could sleep in a cramped freezer with the fish fingers, you're that tired. Hardwood floor? No problem. You can get horizontal anywhere! Ugh. You poor thing. I can feel your anguish. Try anything!!! Just survive!

This thread was written around the time I was hitting walls and crying due to lack of sleep. I returned to this thread MANY a time, if only to laugh in the face of the monster that is sleep deprivation.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1960846-So-sick-of-being-so-angry-all-the-time-because-Im-so-fucking-tired

My dad sounds very similar to some other she sleeps perfect during the day pop her down in her bed 10 minutes later she's out and a sleep. She sleeps a lot during the day because she isn't sleeping at night and if I give her less sleep at night she still wakes up. It's a loose loose situation.

Unfortunately it's perfectly normal for babies not to sleep through the night! My 17 mth old has never ever slept through the night- not once! It's tough, it really is (especially with my dh works away 2 weeks at a time).
I find that if I stress about it it just makes me feel worse. Instead I try to make peace with it and not worry about it ( easier said than done I know!)
It will happen eventually!

Can you take some leave off work and completely change her day sleep patterns? You need to stop her day pattern as she is getting enough sleep in 24 hours.

Sounds horrific in short term

oops

In short term start going to bed same time as her!

She sleeps a lot during the day...

How much and when does she sleep? What is her routine like?

Not enough daytime sleep can lead to poor nights, it may not be too much.

Sorry I'm on the app and don't know how to pm? If you google 'hannah yummy baby group' though you'll find her. Hope you find something that works for you.

She will currently sleeps about 3 hours during the day either in one nap or two depending on what time she wakes up.

That's not a huge amount - sounds about right?

I would read about sleep cycles and sleep associations etc. Ultimately taking some time off work to restructure her naps and night sleep is probably the best way forward.

Been in your situation and totally understand would a short term solution be a night in a hotel to just get some sleep and the tackle th eproblem

She will currently sleeps about 3 hours during the day either in one nap or two depending on what time she wakes up

That is not a lot.

For a 13 month old who was sleeping uninterputed 11h a night I would expect around 3h daytime sleep. Given yours is waking in the night, she may need more daytime sleep in order to catch up and not be over tired, not less.

What times are these naps. At 13 months i would suggest one of the following:

● Nap 9am for 90m-2h and then 2pm for 90m-2h
● Nap 9.30am for 30m-45m and 1pm for 2h30m-3h
● Nap 12pm for at least 3h
These are assuming an 8pm bedtime

Over tiredness can directly cause restless nights with frequent wakes. More sleep = better quality sleep overall. You should improve your nights sleep by

• increasing daytime sleep
• watching the timing of daytime sleep so that the am nap is not before 9am and the pm nap not after 4pm
• going from awake to asleep in the place she stays asleep (so the cot)
• ensuring enough water is drank and calories eaten

@TheVanguardSix, how I laughed at that old thread you linked to. Kind of hollow frightened laughter, but funny all the same. Looking forward to graduating to being the mother of a non-sleeping toddler soon (currently mothering a non-sleeping 9m old).