8 month old still cries EVERY sleep time

[singingpinkmonkey]

Hello.
Just after a bit of advice. My son has never been a great sleeper, especially during the day and I have really struggled to get him in to any sort of nap routine.
He sleeps well on a night time so I'm not too concerned about the amount of sleep he has.
The problem is, no matter how I put him down he will cry and scream before going to sleep. Sometimes it's just 5 minutes but sometimes he can take 30 mins to nod off.

I always stay with him and put my hand gently on his chest but I find it really traumatic to listen to him so distressed.

Does anyone else have to battle with their baby to get them to sleep at this age? I'm a ftm so have nothing to compare it to.

Maybe I'm being a bit naive but I thought by 8 months he would know and be comfortable with sleepy time. We have a nice relaxing routine before bedtime and naptime so don't know why he resists it so much.

I know in the grand scheme of things it could be worse but I hate hearing him so upset and would love it if he could settle himself to sleep.

I'm.going back to work next month and he will be going to.nursery and my MIL. I would really like to think that he will be able to nap when I'm not there.

Anyone got any advice for me?

X

Is he desperately overtired going down do you think?

I thought it may be that but I've put him down at varying times to see if he needs more or less awake time and it seems to make no difference.

He is also quite happy and alert when awake so don't think it's overtiredness. He sleeps 10- 11 hours at night so it's not like he doesn't get a decent stretch.

There is a sleep regression at 8 months which I believe is related to separation anxiety. It is definitely a tricky patch.
Routine would be something like
7am wake up and milk
8am breakfast of porridge and fruit
9.15 - 10am nap
11.30 lunch including protein and followed by a yoghurt
12.15 -2.45 nap
3pm milk
5pm dinner, better to be carb heavy
6pm milk then bath
6.30pm story
6.45pm bed

Neither of my babies went to sleep without being rocked or cuddled until they were older. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong or that the baby is wrong. Just how it is.

Thank you for your replies. Especially the example routine. Given me some ideas of what to try tomorrow. Took me 35 mins today to get him to sleep. Both of us were in tears!

This is my almost 10 month olds current routine:

7am Wake
7:30 breakfast - porridge and toast
9:00 milk then 90 min nap
1pm Lunch
2:00 milk then 90 min/2hr nap
5 dinner
6:30 bath
6:50 milk
7 bed

Pick him up and cuddle him? He's only 8m, a hand on his chest probably isn't enough comfort

Hi @batteriesallgone. I do pick him up and cuddle him but that seems to aggravate him more and he cries even harder.
I have previously tried to nap with him cuddling him and everytime he cries so I don't think it's the fact he needs more comfort. Thank you for replying though!

Thanks @MyBlackCat - that's interesting that you give breakfast before milk and may work for us as I often find that he just plays with his bottle if I give it to him when he wakes up. Will give that a try.

Some babies also cry to let out tension before they go to sleep and it's part of their going to sleep routine... Half an hour does sound hard though.
My DD was much happier to be left alone to get to sleep, me staying with a hand on her or picking her up only wound her up. Have you tried the in and out every 2 mins?

Hi @whatnamenow2017 I haven't worked up the nerve to leave him as I feel guilty. I find that if I keep picking him up and putting him down again it just winds him up.
When he was smaller we used to rock him to sleep but he is so big now I definitely can't keep that up for 30 mins!

I will say he doesn't cry at the same level for 30 mins. It's almost like he's mad at me for trying to get him to sleep. He will babble for a bit, start to whine, escalate into full crying and then back down to a whine. 30 mins is a bad day, sometimes is 5, 10 or 20 mins. There is no rhyme or reason to it.

I wish he likes cuddles as I feel like I could comfort him that way but everytime I cuddle him he just wriggles away!

I'm assuming you have previously tried giving a dummy? Generally the comfort sucking stops the crying at sleep time.

Ds cried every single nap and bed time until he was at least a year. I wouldn't stress about it, if he could talk he'd just be telling you he REALLY wasn't tired and didn't need to sleep

I'd try leaving him to it unless he's hysterical. You might be confusing the matter.

I certainly have @FATEdestiny. I kept trying every so often for months but he was having none of it. I tried all sorts of different dummies to no avail.

My HV also suggested encouraging him to suck his thumb for comfort but he doesn't want to. I find myself envious of my mum friends that have babies that like dummies. It looks like a lifesaver!

It sounds to me like he needs extra comfort desperately. Are you putting him down awake? Can you rock him to sleep? All babies are different and it sounds like yours really is not really to settle alone in the cot. When I say alone I appreciate you're there with a hand on chest but it just doesn't sound enough x

The OP has already said she's tried to nap with him and cuddle him crazy

Apologies Op I didn't see your other responses x

I honestly do comfort him. He still cries. Today for example, I took him upstairs to my bed for his afternoon nap. I laid next to him with my arms around him, kissed him, sang to him and he still cried his eyes out.

I do appreciate your help but I honestly do try many different things, including skin to skin to try and make nap time easier for him and he still cries!

Bless you!! Sorry to jump to conclusions it is very easy on here and people have done it to me too I guess maybe it's illness (teething or similar) or a developmental leap, OR overtiredness? Sorry it sounds so rough x

I'd settle him, kids him say night night and leave him to have a grizzle. Listen to the tone of his cries, he might just be settling rather than being distraught.

I remember peeping round the door when my ds was making a heck of a noise and actually his eyes were closed and he was tucked up, perfectly still just 'emptying his lungs' before nodding off!

Do you have a musical toy/ mobile to put on so he associates it with sleep time?

My baby seems best left to it at sleep time. If I hang around it only seems to prolong the agitation. If I leave the room she generally cries for a minute or two, then finds her thumb to suck and settles down.

I've done quite a bit of experimenting with different routines and have realised that my baby was very overtired which was making her upset. The more sleep she's had the easier she finds it to get to sleep which is the opposite to how I would have thought it would be.

Apologies if these are things you have already worked through.

I've just thought - are you sure it's not teething? Right age.

Have you tried painkillers before bed?

DS cried (and by crying I mean pretty much howled) himself to sleep until he was about 18 months old. It made no difference if I breastfed, cuddled,rocked,lay down with him etc.

The only thing that helped a bit was walking up and down the room with his head on my shoulder. As you can imagine, doing that passed 8-9 months old wasn't easy as he got heavy so I stopped doing that and just lay with him or patted him etc when he got too big to do that for long. When he was younger I did hold him/ rock him but he always cried while so did it.