6 week old doesn't sleep...

[thesleepsheep]

Unless she's on me or dh. And I'm so sick of people saying 'you'll make a rod for your own back holding her' well maybe so, but I'm bloody tired so if she sleep like that then so be it. She just grunts and whinges all night if she's not on us and I don't know what to do. I'm trying to persevere with just letting her do this but I'm so exhausted I dread the nights. Has anyone else had this??

Can you not put her down when she falls asleep?

Yes! We do, every single time, because don't want her used to being on us always, occasionally we are lucky and she will sleep for an hour or two. But mostly after a couple of minutes she will start stirring

Is she actually awake or just noisy sleeper?

Sorry, no advice as I have currently got a thread about my sleep resistant 10 month old.
I think 6 weeks is still tiny though and it is a huge struggle and some do have babies that sleep well at this age (my first did) but they are most definitely an exception to the rule.
It's grim I know, but hopefully it will pass soon (for us both!)

The rod for you own back nonsense has to be one of the most annoying things ever. I love this: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/08/26/lets-talk-about-bad-habits-and-baby-and-child-sleep/amp/

I also have a 'Velcro baby' and at 7 months she is much more independent. Have you looked into safe cosleeping? As you'll get the rest you need while snuggling baby x

She is awake. She will lay with her eyes open for a while. Then start whinging. Then start crying. If she's just grumbling I leave her. But yes my first was a great sleeper too! Slept from 11-6 at this age, think that's why this is such a shock to the system. Praying we get some sleep soon!

Mine was like this. Just wouldn't settle without being on one of us. It got to the point that I was actually hallucinating with tiredness. Everyone kept telling me I was making a rod for my back etc. In the end I accepted I'd have to get him to sleep on me , but one thing I was told that helped was, once he is asleep, gently pick his arm up and inch and drop it down....if he stirs isn't in a deep sleep yet, if he doesn't stir, put him down. And it did work. It meant I got an hour or two stretch of sleep a couple of times in the night which saved my sanity.

Cat lady- I shall have a read! We have a chicco next 2 me in a desperate attempt at more sleep, bought it on a whim. And though it has improved the situation a tad she's still a sucky sleeper!

I know exactly what you mean. It's past the point of tiredness and into exhaustion. That's a good idea! I do try wait til she's in a deep sleep but it's hard to know. I'll definitely try that.

My now ten year old was like this, and my attitude is that you have to go with whatever gets you through the night. All that rod for your own back stuff is rubbish. We basically ended up tag teaming: she would sleep on one of us while the other slept, then once she'd had her next feed we'd swap. It's bloody hard, but putting her down was worse. After a while we moved on to co sleeping, and much more sleep was had. Looking back, the advice I would give myself would be to pay a lot less attention to what other people said, and just go with what worked/ felt right - no two babies are the same, and no one knows your dd like you do. Dd is about 5'2" now, and I miss her being small enough to sleep on my chest! If you can get a helpful grandparent to stay over and take a shift occasionally, that helps (We couldn't do that very often)

she's still a sucky sleeper!

Have you tried a dummy?

It takes some perseverance to get some babies to take to a dummy, but definitely worth it for sleep.

Sleeping holding baby at night is dangerous. Very, dangerous. It's not about the rod for your back, this is about safety. Co sleeping would be a much lower risk, lying down with baby next to you.

You could try a babacush in her crib! They replicate the feeling of being held.

Tho of course they have to say it goes against sids guidelines to use it to sleep overnight. But all reviews etc say it's a dream come true.

Have you thought about a sleepyhead? Not a miracle cure but made our terrible sleeper slightly less terrible... that and a dummy . He goes in it in his Next2me crib until about 5 (2 on a bad night) then cosleeps until morning.

Sorry that makes it sound like he sleeps through until 5 which, he does not! He will settle fairly well in it after night feeds though. We bought it in desperation but I would say its been worth every penny. He naps in it too as I can bring it downstairs.

I'd also recommend a sleepyhead. Also see if you can prop her slightly on her side and/or with her head and chest slightly raised. Mine were both as you describe, it was due to wind mainly, and these things really helped.

If you think your DC is also windy then obviously try all the usual wind reducing measures - extra winding after feeds, infacol, get latch and tongue tie check from Bf adviser if you are BF.

At the end of the day though if that is the only way they will sleep then go with it. Overtiredness is awful so the most important thing IMO is to get enough sleep in them whatever that takes.

Have you tried putting a warm hot water bottle on the mattress in her Moses basket so she falls asleep in your arms and then is transferred asleep to basket and the mattress is warm so she won't realise she's not on you anymore.
Other people suggested to me make the Moses basket smell of me by putting a blanket or sheet in that I'd had close to my body.
I second trying a dummy and maybe a fleecey blanket. My current technique is wrap baby in blanket, feed and cuddle to sleep thransfer to Moses basket tucking blanket in like a sheet (baby is still laying on blanket), cover baby with other blanket. Good luck I hope you find a technique that works for your baby.

I should have been specific, I don't ever sleep holding her. I'll stay awake if I'm holding her until she's in a deep sleep. Otherwise I have started co sleeping it's the only way we get sleep! And recently started using dummy, they are definitely god send. Although had some judgements from mil, its worth it. Definitely going to try hot water bottle as I think it's when she's put down and not snuggly and warm on us anymore that she's starting to fuss. Also think she is s very windy baby, but sometimes feels like we are burping her hours! Thanks all, hoping one night it just gets better!

If got the same issue.
Baby is 5 weeks old and loves sleeping on me. If she goes down in the day she will sleep swaddled in the bouncy chair.
At night once she is put down she will moan and groan for an hour and then cry to be picked up. This goes on all night. I can only feed her to sleep at the moment
She won't go down awake.
Any advice appreciated

Oh to add she is very windy but hard to wind. She is bf with a bottle to top her up as she is hungry with dentinox in and gripe water after bf.
Tried infacol but made her constipated.

@mumagain2017 it's totally normal! If you don't want to feed to sleep forever you can tackle that MONTHS down the line. A 5 week old will feed to sleep. My 7 mo slept on me for all naps until she was about 3 months old, yes it's tough but it's not long. Stick a boxset on and get the snacks out. As above @FATEdestiny has lots of advice about getting to sleep in a bouncy chair though with a dummy x

Babies won't go down awake at this age. Just feed to sleep and don't worry about that for now. I did it for 14 months and have a great sleeper now! My tips are a sleepyhead or babymoov cosydream, warmed up by you or your DH laying on it (or use hot water bottle). If that fils the. Co-sleep (safely, no duvets or pillows anywhere near baby). I kick my partner out of bed when I co-sleep as worry about baby getting stuck between two adults.
Just go with it, these things do improve. Both of mine were like this and also enormously windy - slept better from 6 months once wind subsided.
Hang in there!

That's meant to say "if that fails then co-sleep".
I also agree that babies his age don't take naps easily - I let them nap on my arms for months while watching telly. Much easier than fighting for an hour to get a baby to nap for 10 minutes. Both napped in the cot from about 11 months

At 6 weeks I think just do whatever you have to to get a baby to sleep! Are you managing to get any sleep?
My DS is like this during the day (4months) but I'm lucky he sleeps well at night. Good luck OP

@crazycatlady not sure how to quote you! This is my second baby first daughter is 6 and I can't remember how we got her to sleep but she is fab now.
Ok so I'm not creating bad habits because she is so young that's good to know.
What age should I be putting her down awake...that Gina Ford woman says from birth
But I'm not following her routines!!

@oly5
Iv got a sleepyhead but don't think it makes any difference.

Sorry to OP for the hijack btw.