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Sleep

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Original poster

5 month old not sleeping through - any ideas

70 replies

JillyWells · 06/09/2017 21:10

Baby was born healthy but small at 4lb 7oz. Everything is fine except hoping he would sleep through by now. He nods off about 8-9pm, wakes up to feed about 10pm then goes through till anything between 12.30 and 4 am. Can't seem to get it to be consistently 4am which I could live with for a while. He drinks about 5oz at this point.

He is my first born and I am expecting again (they will be about 11 months apart)

Is there something else I could do or I doing something wrong. Note he is still 12lb14.

Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CoteDAzur · 07/09/2017 10:03

DD, not add

chloechloe · 07/09/2017 11:26

I'm not in a position to say whether early night weaning is damaging or not, I'm not an expert.

But cotedazur your post doesn't acknowledge that France is very culturally different to the U.K. Women often return to work within 3-6 months of a child being born in France and so the tolerance of night wakings there is extremely low. Early night weaning is thus much more common there.

For what it's worth I live in Germany which I would say is very baby led, yet I had at least 2 paedatricians tell me that my baby does not need a night feed after 6 months. That may well be true from a medical standpoint, but there are lots of other issues at play. For example my baby is not taking quickly to solids regardless of what I try and is very distractible now during the day when feeding, which makes me reluctant to cut out night feeds just so I can get more sleep.

Every baby and family is different and unfortunately there is no easy solution as some make out.

Gizmo79 · 07/09/2017 11:32

I'm chuckling at this (not in a rude way!).
My 7 month old goes from 8pm til approx 3am, and then til 6. This has only happened in the last 2 weeks, before that it was every 3hours regardless. Oh and he is weaning as well.

But, I still have my just 4 year old coming in at about 3-4am for cuddles!

They are only small for a while, I enjoy the cuddles even though I am exhausted!

CoteDAzur · 07/09/2017 18:51

"your post doesn't acknowledge that France is very culturally different to the U.K. "

Yes, but Yorkie's objection to night weaning wasn't "We like to do things differently here in the UK". It was that night weaning is "ill-informed and damaging".

And I would like to hear how Yorkie believes I have "damaged" my children, in her completely unprofessional layman's opinion which she clearly thinks is superior to DD's paediatrician who has studied and practiced this field for many years

CoteDAzur · 07/09/2017 18:55

"I still have my just 4 year old coming in at about 3-4am for cuddles! They are only small for a while, I enjoy the cuddles"

Yeah, well, don't cut out night feeds or sleep train if you enjoy waking up multiple times in the night. For years.

We didn't think it was funny.

Gizmo79 · 07/09/2017 19:07

Wow cote was that necessary?

Each to their own is what I meant, sorry you have to have a bizarre dig.

Oh, and I'm a senior HCP in paediatrics. We do not condone dropping night feeds in the UK. Parents being tired is part of being a parent.

OP- just do whatever is right for you and your family.
Personally, sleepless nights are what I signed up for when I had my first child, and I. Still surviving on my third.

Mirrorballfrog · 07/09/2017 19:11

We do not condone dropping night feeds in the UK

What, ever?!

That's not what my own senior HCP in paediatrics said.

Disastronaut · 07/09/2017 19:29

Cuddles at 3-4am for FOUR YEARS isn't my idea of fun. People have jobs, lives, more kids. They have to be able to function. We can't all just live in a baby bubble indefinitely.

Cutting night feeds, calorie loading, gentle sleep training isn't going to 'damage' anyone.

Oly5 · 07/09/2017 19:36

Sounds normal for a 5 month old! Mine didn't sleep through regularly til they were 2

wintertravel1980 · 07/09/2017 19:38

OP - your baby is really cute! I absolutely loved the photo.

The obvious thing you can do is keep a log of feeds and try and make sure your DS increases his milk intake during the day. In theory, at his weight he should be able to sleep for 11-12 hours with one dream feed but if he is used to feeding at night, the change is likely to take time. 5oz intake is not just comfort sucking - it is a real feed.

I am also one of those parents who does not enjoy 3-4am cuddles so I started seriously working on my DD sleep when she was 8 weeks old (I would have started earlier but I had to deal with reflux first). I logged all her feeds and once I was comfortable she was having enough milk for her weight, I started re-settling her if she woke up during the night (between midnight and 6am). It was primarily a combination of shushing / patting (if she grumbled in her sleep) or pick up/put down/patting (if she woke up). I was 100% sure though DD was not hungry. Interestingly, DD very quickly realised there was no milk available after the midnight (or after the dream feed) and stopped asking for feeds. She still woke up and cried but she did not ask for food - she just needed help to go back to sleep.

DD started consistently sleeping from 7pm to 6.30/7am with one dream feed (at 10.30-11.00pm) from 12 weeks. At 10 weeks she "slept through" (under my definition) every other night. I do believe night feeds are often exhausting for both parents and babies so if you can shift your DS calorie intake towards the day time, it will be worth it in the medium/long run.

PS: My DD is almost 8 months and she has not yet dropped her dream feed. We tried a couple of weeks ago but she was genuinely hungry and started waking up early. Dream feeding does not bother me though - it is real night feeds that I would try and tackle.

Gizmo79 · 07/09/2017 19:44

We do not condone dropping night feeds in the UK

What, ever?!

That's not what my own senior HCP in paediatrics said.

Not at 5 months, no.

As I said, each to their own, and as I hoped you would take from my post, I was not exactly telling anyone to do anything.
6 hours IS sleeping through for a baby.

usersos · 07/09/2017 19:51

The difficulty with posting for advice is you'll always get a range of differing opinions and some people who aren't qualified to recommend some pretty diverse methods, some of which work, others which are crazy. Then people will hijack your post by taking on other members......

5 months is still really young and you're doing a good job.....times will stretch in between the feeds in due course. Xx

LapinR0se · 07/09/2017 19:57

I understand that HCPs in the UK say that once a baby has reached 10lb (or is it 12?) in weight, then you can stop feeding on demand certainly in the night.
My own paediatrician put my DD on a 3 hourly schedule til she regained birth weight, then 4 hourly but not to wake her at night and said "ideally you want her sleeping a good chunk of the night asap"

motherofbabes · 07/09/2017 20:05

Bless you, it's hard to start with isn't it! You'll get used to being tired and as you get used to it you'll probably find he starts sleeping better. He is a cutie! Sounds very normal to me. I would tweak your expectations a bit. I don't normally recommend her because she's a bit of a sanctimonious parent shaming knobhead (IMO) but Sarah Ockwell-Smith's Gentle Sleep Book has a few good chapters on infant sleep development and what's normal for different stages. It made a lot of sense to me, might be worth a look if you get a chance.

DS didn't drop his last night feed until he was 13.5 months. They are all different, but personally there's no way I'd be dropping feeds at five months. That's still so young and growing so much. We didn't drop any bottles day or night (though he did reduce volumes) at all until DS was well established with weaning, at around 8 or 9 months from memory (he was slow to take to food).

motherofbabes · 07/09/2017 20:06

@LapinR0se My DS was 10lb at 4 weeks, no way could I have stopped demand or night feeding him then

LapinR0se · 07/09/2017 20:09

I think in medical terms you could have though. At least that's what I understand

FATEdestiny · 07/09/2017 20:09

Just to be clear on the significant (and I had assumed obvious) difference between

(a) doing things to reduce the need for night feeds. Like feeding more in the day and having an effective settling method that isn't feeding to sleep.

(b) Refusing a hungry baby a feed.

There is nothing ill-informed and damaging about the former at any age once regained birth weight and maintaining centiles, certainly at 5 months old.

Crazyweimlady · 07/09/2017 20:18

Interestingly I recently realised some people count sleeping then waking up for a feed then sleeping again then waking counts as sleeping through... people can have some strange definitions of sleeping through!! I was feeling the same as you until that particular conversation...

motherofbabes · 07/09/2017 20:30

Also it's worth remembering that most (not all of course) mothers who claim that their five month olds consistently sleep through the night are either a) lying b) exaggerating or c) think sleeping through means from midnight to 5am.

LapinR0se · 07/09/2017 20:34

I am in a sleep group of 50 mums and every single one had a baby sleeping 10-4 or 10-6 by 12 weeks. It is totally possible with good routine and habits (yes even if exclusively breastfeeding)

Luckystar1 · 07/09/2017 20:42

My 13 month old (breastfed) baby is nowhere near sleeping through yet. She still has at least 1 night feed. Thankfully she's my 2nd so I'm au fait with what it's all like, but I can assure you with absolute certainty that the majority of children will not be sleeping through 7-7 regularly at 5 months, people lie/exaggerate and you only hear about it a few years down the line. It made me really cross with my oldest that I worried so much about the sleep thing when in actual fact almost everyone was going through the same or similar but were lying.

You are doing a great job. I can promise you that it gets better. You will get loads of advice, but personally, I couldn't be arsed spending 30 mins shushing and patting when 2 mins on the boob did the same job!

wintertravel1980 · 07/09/2017 21:38

I agree it is about choices.

Shushing and patting the baby several times a night between week 8 and week 10 was not fun. But the older my DD gets, the more I view it as an investment into our future sleep. I had 2 weeks of misery (well... one week of misery and one week of hard work) but now I can enjoy my evenings and my nights. Of course, there are occasional ups and downs (e.g. teething) but I know my DD loves her bed and will go back to sleep as soon as her problem (e.g. teething pain) is resolved.

I do not think parents of babies sleeping through the night lie. I had a maternity nurse helping me when DD was tiny and she told me about half of babies she looked after were good sleepers. The best sleeping baby was, in fact, one of her EBF granddaughters who started sleeping from 7-7.30pm to 5.30-6am from the end of week 3. She never went through any serious sleep regressions - she was just a natural brilliant sleeper and a chilled out happy baby.

CoteDAzur · 08/09/2017 00:14

"I'm a senior HCP in paediatrics."

What is that? I'm curious. Senior nurse in a paediatric unit?

"We do not condone dropping night feeds in the UK."

You don't condone? Oh wow, that's terrible.

"Parents being tired is part of being a parent."

What bullshit is this? I certainly hope that you are not seriously in a position of authority where shattered first-time mothers come to you for help and guidance, to be told to go and sacrifice themselves on the altar of motherhood.

CoteDAzur · 08/09/2017 00:16

"almost everyone was going through the same or similar but were lying."

How odd that you would think so.

I'm not lying when I say DD was sleeping through (12 hours, not 6) at 4 months and DS was doing the same at 5 months.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 08/09/2017 00:41

wintertravel1980

You sleep trained your baby at 8 weeks?

8 weeks old? Are you for real??

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