Co-sleeping, will I regret it?

[AnaKristina]

My baby has been co-sleeping since 3 weeks old. Now he is 7 weeks old. Would not settle in his next to me crib and I gave in. Those mum's that have experience in co-sleeping could you share your opinions? I think this will be for 1 or 2 years and may not be such a sacrifice if he is happy as it's time limited. Daddy has moved out to a second bedroom. Not sure should I try training him back to his cot which he seems to hate. Should I try Moses basket as it's cosier as opposed to the large and cold next to me crib. He is bottle-fed.

It's not very safe if bottle feeding with a newborn. That aside, long term cosleeping has been good for us. My advice is to get a bigger bed though.

I have co slept with both of mine til around 4/5 months.. Ana then for at least some of the night til they learned to sleep through. I think it's inevitable. Just read up on doing it safely.
Also, people rave about the babymoov cosydream - might that fit in your cot and help him settle?

I ebfd and still cosleep nearly 2 years on. It's a PITA sometimes but on the whole I really enjoy it and I'll miss ds terribly when he does into his own room.

I co-slept although it was totally not what I'd expected to do. The most important thing is that everyone gets a good sleep. My ds moved into his cot at about 6 months but aged 13 he still likes to climb into our bed in the morning He just seemed happy to be put in a cot at 6 months when he hadn't before.
I've had friends who have used a cot with a dropped side next to the bed which has been very successful (ikea do a good one).
It won't be forever!

I used a cot with dropped side at first hard against my side of the bed. As babies became more mobile the side went up and base was lowered. At around a year the cot was moved to the far side of the room and after weaning they moved into their own rooms with cot changed to cot bed. I cannot understand mums who are happy not cuddling into their partner. Intimacy is so important in a relationship to me.

You could try the sleepyhead pod in the crib, I found it helped my baby settle as a newborn.

I personally wouldn't want my husband to have to sleep in another room for 2 years- but up to you, if you're all happy with it that's fine. What does he think?

My understanding was that co-sleeping and bottle-feeding was less safe as the mother tends to be less aware of the baby.

Could you use a co-sleeper crib as others have suggested¿

If you are looking for a way to make independant sleep cosy, there are a few things you could try.

• you can take one side off most cotbeds and wedge it up to your bed. This makes a much bigger space than cribs, meaning you can cuddle right into the cot with the whole of the top half of your body.

• a sleepyhead mattress gives a nest-like enclosed feeling that can help.

• a swaddle does the same - creates the tight, enclosed, protected feeling of being in the womb

• a dummy can help independant settling.

I say these only as suggestions. Absolutely nothing wrong with safe cosleeping, especially if your plan is breastfeeding to sleep long term. Or even if it isn't.

Unless he smokes, drinks or used drugs, your DH doesn't have to move out of the bed. Many have a 'Family bed' for all of you.

not very safe if bottle feeding with a newborn

How is it any less safe than if breastfeeding?

If you have a next to me can't you just have baby on that side and partner on the other?

I Co sleep like that with Ds2 but with a cot with the side off. He's mostly on the bed but I'm edging him into his cot.

With Ds1 he was between me and husband. Not recommended but worked for us (neither of us sleep heavily, drink, smoke, drugs etc)

There is no official advice against cosleeping when bottle feeding.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/reducing-risk-cot-death.aspx

Don't think that co-sleeping at 7 weeks is consigning yourself to years of co-sleeping - you might well find it is different after a few weeks or months. Most babies need to be close to you at this age, most can sleep more independently as they get older. Don't worry about making a rod for you own back at this stage.

I wonder if it came from here?

www.isisonline.org.uk/hcp/where_babies_sleep/parents_bed/how_parents_bedshare/bedsharing_and_nonbreastfeeders/

They state that the findings are ambiguous but

Bed-sharing babies of breastfeeding mothers appear to avoid the presumed hazards of sleeping in adult beds (e.g., suffocation, overlaying, wedging, entrapment) (Nakamura et al 1999), due to the presence and behaviour of their mothers. Interestingly, however, differences have been observed in bed-sharing behaviour between breastfeeding and formula-feeding mothers and babies (Ball 2006). In a study comparing families videoed sleeping in their home environment, formula-fed infants were generally placed high in the bed, with babies at parental face-height, and positioned between, or on top of, parental pillows. In contrast, breastfed babies were always positioned flat on the mattress, below pillow height and level with the mother's chest. Formula-feeding mothers spent significantly less time facing their baby and in mutual face-to-face orientation than did breastfeeding mother-baby pairs, and they did not adopt the "protective" sleep position with the same degree of consistency. Breastfeeding mothers and babies experienced a significantly greater frequency of arousals from sleep, and significantly more of these were synchronous (mother and baby waking together) than among formula-feeding mothers and babies (Ball 2006)

The patterning of these differences is consistent with an understanding of the physiological mechanisms mediating maternal and infant behaviour, in that breastfeeding mothers experience a hormonal feedback cycle, which promotes close contact with, heightened responsiveness towards, and bonding with infants in a way that is absent or greatly diminished among mothers who do not breastfeed (Uvnas Moberg 2003). The implication here-that breastfeeding mothers and babies sleep together in qualitatively and significantly quantitatively different ways than do non-breastfeeding mothers and babies-suggest that epidemiological studies of bed-sharing that have not considered feeding type as a variable for matching cases and controls may have drawn inappropriate results in assessing risk factors associated with bed-sharing. Hopefully epidemiologists will re-examine these issues.

I had a next to me but DS was having none of it. He is 9 months now and we still co-sleep. Much easier for feeding. We are moving house soon so plan to put him in nursery then once we've settled in (I HOPE anyway 😂). It's lovely co-sleeping. I plan to do it with my next one.

Thanks all for shearing. I'm like crazy to be able to sleep cuddled to my partner again! I have next to me crib from Chicco but the LO cries as soon as I put him there. Has a need to be close to my or my partner's body and gets alarmed if left alone on the bed after 3 minutes at this point. Something like described in the Fussy baby book from Dr Sears. I have purchased a new softer mattress for the crib. I tried baby mov cosy dream but no luck. I hope he will grow out of this need to be in touch with the human body all the time. It's my first baby!

I co slept and formula fed until DD was 18 months. I had all the usual comments "you're making a rod for your own back" "she will never sleep on her own" "you're spoiling her"
She went into a single bed at 18 months and has slept 7-8:30 ever since. She's the best sleeper I know!

NAPQUEEN to answer your question, read the pp ^^
Basically, breastfeeding infants causes hormonal changes to the breastfeeding mothers brain that specifically affect awareness in sleep. This means that breastfeeding mothers and infant dynamic during cosleeping is different than that of formula fed infant and mothers. Sorry.

I breast-fed and co-slept for a year. We moved DD into a cot at about 1 year old, but I often brought her into bed after that point if she woke in the night. I went back to work fulltime after 9 months so it was important that we all had a good night's sleep. We pretty much always had a good night's sleep too! My DD and I have a strong bond which I think was cemented through breastfeeding and co-sleeping. However, 5 (nearly 6) years later DD won't spend a full night in her own room. She goes to bed fine, but comes up to our room every night. Now she's bigger, she takes up more space and obviously DH and I don't get to snuggle all night. We've spoken to our DD a few times about this, but she explains that she loves cuddling with us. I guess it won't be forever. I don't regret my decision to co-sleep.

I sleep with no pillows and my face is at the level of the baby's face. Cover just until my waistline, bellow the line where baby's cover ends. I'm quite aware of the baby- sleep is very interrupted by every of his sound or move.

I co slept with DS from 2 weeks until 10 months- he was cuddled up in bed next to me with DH on my other side, cuddling us both! No need for your DH to sleep elsewhere. There is info online about how to bed share safely which was easy to follow once you get used to it.

I worried too that DS would never sleep in his cot but at 10 months he started to be happy to go down in his cot at bed time. I took him into bed with me when he woke in the night but he gradually slept longer and longer in his cot until by 12 months he was spending the whole night in his cot, falling asleep in there on his own. We made the change when he was ready, he didn't get upset about it, and I have lovely memories of the three of us curling up together and drifting off to sleep- wish I hadn't worried about how to change things, it just happened gradually as DS stopped needing me so much in the night and figured out for himself how to fall asleep without breastfeeding- I think it's as much of a developmental thing as learning to sit etc.

Do it!

I now have a 7mo who sleeps in his own room, he Co slept until 5 months. It was an amazing time of his life and those little cuddles you will never get back.

We cosleep with dd who is almost a year old, we had a snuzpod at first but quickly moved to proper cosleeping. I love it, so much easier settling dd at night as she can find the boob herself and we are both back to sleep before you know it. However, she is getting big now and likes to starfish and there isn't much space even in a king size bed so I have started putting her in a full size cot with one side off which is pushed against our bed. I can still lean in close to feed her lying down and then roll away without disturbing her, it has been pretty successful so far she has only ended up back in bed next to me in the early hours once or twice since we started.

People keep asking when we are going to put her in her own room but DP and I are both happy with her in with us so until she no longer wakes in the night she will be staying. I am not going to be traipsing back and forth to another room in the night for love nor money.

If you want to try and use your next to me cot you could try putting a tshirt you have worn over the mattress so it smells of you, this worked for a while for us before I gave up trying with the cot due to laziness.

OP the position you are cosleeping in is most used by bottle feeding mothers but the advice for cosleeping is for the baby's face to be level with your boobs. Have a look on the Isis website recommended above.

I did not start cosleeping until 6 months as I was worried about the risks (we formula feed) and now at 15 months sometimes I regret it. I live the snuggles from my toddler but miss cuddling my husband. It does mean when she wakes we don't get out of bed to deal with her but we can't all sleep in the same bed as we disturb each other.

Co-slept with all of mine until at least 2, King sized bed so baby in one corner, me in middle and DH other side. Love it and sooooooo much easier than trying to get them settled in a cot (never owned a cot). Will be really sad when DC3 moves to a toddler bed.

As with most things baby related, do whatever suits you and ignore what anyone else does (apart from obvious safety advice etc)

Still co sleeping 2 years in..
my back is knackered now..

Won't be doing it with my next child...

Very hard habit to break in my experience