Does this count as crying it out? Other suggestions?

[7thInningStretch]

DD is 8 months old and screams herself to sleep every night from anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour. She used to feed to sleep and that was fine but it's just stopped working. She wants me to walk with her but my back is buggered and I just can't do it for that long. I'm holding her and shushing and patting but she's so upset. She's just sobbing. Any ideas?

Also, worth mentioning that link three concentrated mostly on CIO rather than CC or other system that involves comforting the baby periodically.

Link four is to the Sydney Morning Herald. It's an opinion piece by doctor that mentions things like 'brain scientists', but makes absolutely no reference to ANY scientific studies.

Link five is to the BBC news site, again not a scientific study. With no links to a scientific study.

The doctor in this piece claims:

'If this happens over long periods and repeatedly, it can be "toxic" to their brains, she says in a new book.
Dr Leach suggested unattended extreme crying bouts of 30 minutes or more could be damaging to babies.'

Given that CC only requires leaving the baby for short periods, nowhere near 30 minutes this doesn't support your claim either (not to mention the fact that it is not a scientific study or a report about one).

This is a link to another BBC piece arguing basically the opposite. It's also not a scientific study.

The last one is from an 'evolutionary parenting' page. It's actually the best of the lot. It is not a scientific study, but it does explain, in some detail, the one study that they all talk about.

This is what she concludes.

'I actually think this methodology provides great ideas as a starting point for future research. This was a preliminary study and shouldn’t have gotten the type of press it has, but that doesn’t mean the methods are all bad, just lacking.'

What you've provided to support the claim 'when we do that to them it is proven to be damaging both emotionally and pyschologically' is

• several different reports of a study that actually found no harm from CC! The reports then go on to attack the methodology. I agree it wasn't a good study, but flawed methodology doesn't mean that the opposite of what they found was true!

-several references to work down by the AAIMH, which as highlighted earlier doesn't contain any actual research on CC!

You cannot show me the evidence you claim to have because it doesn't exist.

Absolutely, no-one should do CC if they don't feel it is right for their baby, but fabricating research based on reading lifestyle websites and the Sydney Morning herald is inexcusable!

I could provide a load of links to websites claiming the exact opposite. I won't though, because that's not EVIDENCE.

This is a link to the NHS covering the same study that is referenced in several of the earlier links. It gives a summary of the research and findings. It also mentions how the study was misreported in some papers (The Mail, unsurprisingly), just to illustrate it is important to either read the actual study or at least try and find an impartial viewpoint or range of views.

I've tried popping her in the cot and leaving her for a few minutes but she just becomes hysterical and then I feel awful. I've had to drop the bottom of the cot because she can now pull up which making things even trickier. I think I'm going to try (or rather DH is going to try) FATES suggestion of just keep lying her down until she gives in. She really needed an afternoon nap yesterday so I let her have 20 minutes and it pushed bedtime right back to 9 again. But I think if she realised that the cot means sleep maybe it would be easier.

She doesn't take a dummy. I've tried. I tried from day one in the hospital. I've tried every dummy I can find. I gave up a few months ago figuring if by six months she wouldn't take it then it wasn't going to happen.

I've not read any research to suggest that there is long term harm to CC but to design such a study would be an impossibility because of all the variables. You couldn't randomise it. Yes of course cortisol will spike during stress and yes cortisol isn't great for brain development but neither is exhaustion and a depleted mum. It doesn't feel right for me but if all else fails then we will try it but I'd like to know I exhausted all other options first.

Somewhere up thread someone recommended a gym ball to bounce on. I'm going to get one and see if my back can take the bouncing. If it can and it soothes her I'll bounce first to get her sleepy then try FATEs method.

OP, it's grim. DS1 was like this - hysterical from the moment he was put down.

What worked for us/him was a variation pick up/put down - comforting (as Fate outlines) and then picking up when distressed but then putting straight back down.

I'll be honest, the first few days were utter hell. But it was worth it.

Meanwhile, I've got a great giggle out of this statement from a PP:

Also white noise works in literally seconds to calm then sleep in minutes.

My Dd2 was just like this. I couldn't leave her in the cot and room on her own because her crying would become hysterical. I tried pick up/put down but ended up just slipping a disc!!

I eventually just started putting her down in the cot / darkened room etc and staying in the room with my back turned slightly to her so that at least she would have the reassurance I was there but was learning to get herself to sleep. She still cried herself to sleep but it was the more grousing type of crying. I'd just repeat "time for sleepies" in a reassuring voice. Eventually she started getting to sleep a bit quicker. Once that was established I started leaving the room and coming back in at 2, 4, 6 , 8 min 2 intervals. It never took to the 10 min interval for her to get herself to sleep.

I think she just fights sleepiness as she has a fear of missing out and it then makes her overtired. She is the same today at 2 years old. Grouse cries herself to sleep every night!