Is this normal?

[Sunisshining12]

I'm a ftm with a 2.5 week old DD.

Is it normal for her to be awake ALL night? She generally sleeps from about 11.30pm until 1am and then after that it's constant feeding & crying.

I don't know why she's crying I change her,feed her,cuddle her she just won't settle in the next to me cot, she constantly wants to be held or at the breast.

On some occasions I've fell asleep with her in my bed which I really want to avoid as I know it's dangerous.

I'm BF & try to wind her after a feed, she rarely brings any wind up but usually gets hiccups when i lay her down/starts whining & seems uncomfortable?

I introduced a dummy a few nights ago. She sucks it for a bit but as soon as it falls out the crying starts again.

I sat crying at 6am exhausted & not knowing how to settle her. My husband works long hours so I try not to wake him in the night now he's back at work. When he holds her she settles, it's almost like she doesn't like me!

She sleeps in a bedside cot with a cotton sheet & 1 layer cellular blanket. She wears a vest & baby grow, the room is usually 17-18 degrees.

It's been like this since the day we got home from hospital. I feel guilty complaining but I just don't know if this is normal & tbh I really wasn't expecting it to be like this. It's so miserable.

Neither of my DCs would settle on their backs, I used a rolled up towel behind them and put them on their sides, the Moses basket was tiled too so they weren't flat and it made the world of difference. It's not recommended, it's probably terrible advice but that's what I ended up doing. Wind was also a real issue, I held them upright for 20 mins after each feed before putting them down on their sides, it seemed to work. Infacol helped too.

Sunisshining - where do you live? I'm in Wales and volunteer for Family Action as a perinatal support worker.
I visit a family once a week to help parents with babies up to a year old. I often sit with the babies, play with the older ones, fed them and change them.
Either with the parents keeping me company or doing things they need or resting.
Have a look in your local area; looking for support isn't letting anyone down - it's helping you be the best person possible for your baby.

The biggest problem is society portrays new parents as smiling and loving life - the reality is that it is often difficult (I have teens and it still is occasionally) but those times do pass x

Also look at cacoonababy.

My youngest hated to sleep alone at night. I coslept with her from birth as I could see that is what she needed and I was quite happy with cosleeping. On her own she would sleep for 30 minute stretches. Next to me she would sleep for 4 hours.

I haven't thoroughly read all the PPs so sorry if I repeat some advice.

Try tilting the cot so that the side where her head lays is a little bit higher than her feet. Some three sided cots have adjustable legs (e.g. the next2me cot) while with others you may have to put a solid box/books underneath the legs.
This can help with trapped wind, heartburn etc.

She may not like her dummy because it doesn't replicate the shape of the nipple enough. My daughter hated 'cherry' shaped dummies but found it easier to keep NUK dummies in her mouth - NUK dummy

My daughter cluster fed from around 1am until the early hours - so she may just be extra hungry at those times. If you can figure out how to feed while lying down you could catch some kip (if you're a light sleeper like me) It took me a while to work out the whole, feeding while lying down, thing.
If you are a small framed person, lying on your right side while feeding your baby on the left boob is usually more comfortable.
If you are larger framed, putting a pillow under the left side of your back (so you are supported and leaning at an angle, mainly on your right side) and feeding your baby with the right boob is usually more comfortable.
I hope that made sense...

Breastfed babies usually have more bottom wind, my baby struggled to pass it, I used to rub her belly gently in a clockwise motion (clockwise while facing her).
While my baby was young I had to stop eating things like beans, onions, eggs, cheese as they caused her belly ache. This took me some time to figure out.

I can't think of anything else right now, but I'll be back if I do.
My little one is nearly 2 - I had all the same struggles that you're going through and it was just trial and error. What you are going through is NORMAL and you are just getting to know your baby :)

Good luck

You're doing a good job, op. I have a little one who is three weeks on Monday. So far he's been quite easy but my first was just as you describe. All babies are different!

Lots of good advice here. Do just keep on keeping on. The best mantra you can repeat to yourself is "All things must pass." It's incredibly tough but it will pass. Baby will get better at sleeping and settling and you will sleep again.

This could well be normal newborn behaviour. As others have said, your baby is still so new she isn't yet used to life outside of you. For 9 months she has constantly been kept perfectly warm, been soothingly rocked in amniotic fluid, heard your heartbeat and never known hunger. It's no wonder she wants to be held close to you: its Mother Nature's way of ensuring survival.

That said, it might be an idea to get some expert help if only to resssure you. Health visitors can signpost to further support such as La Leche League who will be able to advise you of local support groups and put you in touch with an accredited feeding counsellor who can observe your baby feeding to rule out any issues which could affect the amount of milk she gets.
www.laleche.org.uk/find-lll-support-group/

Sleeping on a safe surface (firm mattress) with your baby isn't as dangerous as you may think. If mother is a non-smoker (inc throughout pregnancy), doesn't drink or take any drugs, isn't exhausted to the point of exhaustion, and is breastfeeding then the risks are minimised. This may enable you to get enough sleep to be able to function.

Please do get some quality support. I promise you this does get better and you are doing an amazing job. Hang in there. X

*exhausted to the point of being unaware of her baby

I think I need sleep too!

2.5 weeks is a "wonder week" I believe - down load the app it'll tell you.
Basically the first 3 months are like the 4th trimester. Baby has been cuddled in your tummy for the psst 9 months and now, in the big wide world, all she wants is to be cuddled. Unfortunately that's normal! It does get better I promise xx

Feedin a lot is usually trying to up your milk supply however I agree with everyone thar you should get her checked to be on the safe side xx hope it all improves for you v soon!!

The next2me definitely has a side raise function. Ie, you cab raise just one side to give it a slight tilt.

Feeding often is normal, as is wanting to be held so much at this stage. My sister had a sleepyhead for her girl and swears by it. I never tried it, but wish I had as I do think it would've helped. So you might want to consider one.

If Infacol doesn't help, don't be afraid to go back to gp. She may still have silent reflux and it can take a while to diagnose as gp's like to rule out other things first.

There is a breastfeeding support group on fb called 'can I breastfeed in it uk? Breastfeeding support'. It is amazing! It is run by some amazing, IBCLC trained peer supporters who are also mummies who can offer lots of advice and support.

I breastfed. Exclusively for 3 months. Then exclusively pumped for 2 months (bottle preference), and then combo fed for 3 months. I only just gave up pumping. Lo is now 8.5 months.

Mine was similar to yours at points. She slept a bit better, but would often throw up entire feeds in the early days and I'd have to start all over again. I found Infacol, gripe water etc all made it worse, so we persevered without it in the end. I also remember feeling like she hated me as she would scream and scream and scream with me, and settle instantly with dh. It's completely normal to feel like that, but I promise you, she DOES NOT hate you. She just smells your milk and gets impatient - yes even if she's just fed. At 8.5 months, even though dh is the stay at home parent, it's me she wants 90% of the time. So trust me, she loves you.

I also Co-slept numerous times. It helped massively at the time, for all of us.

Most importantly, it DOES get better. I promise. And there will be peaks and troughs as she goes through leaps. But my lo is soooo much better now. It really does get easier.

You're doing great!!! Xx

Op, I really feel for you, there is nothing more soul destroying

Only read your opening post, but I just wanted to say that having her sheep in your bed ( co sleeping)is safe, providing you follow some guide lines. You need to be a non smoker, and not have taken recreational drugs or alcohol, and you need to full any gaps between the wall and bed with a rolled up sheet. Get the book Three on a Bed by Deborah Jackson, which is the coo sleeping bible( cheap on Amazon) .
My first would only settle with us, and I would have gone mad if I hasn't started it. There are lots of myths about the lack of safety of it, but the book of full of research, ( including stats on how cotdeath does not exist in cultures where all babies co sleep) .
Good luck with it op .

Oh, OP. I could have written this myself with my first one. Or actually not. I was so sleep deprived I ended up bawling my eyes out a lot of nights when he'd wake up to feed again. And again. And again. Sometimes for an hour at a time. The longest he slept in those early weeks was forty five minutes, and we tried everything - tilting the cot, swaddling, sounds, patting, shushing, rocking, you name it. In the end I was going to lose the plot - I actually woke up almost hysterical because he was crying but when I looked on his cot and he wasn't there (he was but somehow my brain had gone WAY off piste) so I went for bed-sharing, made our med as safe as humanly possible, and gave that a go. For that first night in weeks I actually got some decent sleep and so did he. Bed-sharing is not for everyone but in the end, for me, it was share my bed as safely as I could, or accidentally fall asleep with him in it when it wasn't set up properly. I wish to god I had done it sooner and not gone to the edge of actually hallucinating with exhaustion. If you choose this route make sure you look up all the facts on the matter. Note that it's not the same as co-sleeping (where they are close to you but different sleep surface, which is what we tried at first) and you absolutely shouldn't go down this route if you are a heavy sleeper, overweight, using any kind of substances medical or otherwise, a smoker, and so on. But it's another option. He's now three and a brilliant sleeper. But his sleep became eminently survivable long before that - somewhere around six months old.

My dd (dc2) is 8.5weeks now, and would not settle in her crib. I swear by our sleepyhead, she used to do exactly what you're describing, grunting, snuffling and waking herself up. As soon as she was in the sleepyhead it (mostly) stopped, and she goes a good 5 hrs at a time through the night. it does get better!

Haven't read the whole thread but have you tried a sleepyhead. It helped loads with dd. We would slightly warm it with a hot water bottle. Swaddle her and place her in. Good luck. This stage is tough but passes quickly

Just thought I'd update. Infacol doesn't seem to be doing anything apart from making her poo very watery so went back to GP, he said may be reflux or may be colic & she will grow out of it in a few months...MONTHS of this??!

Prescribed some infant gaviscon twice per dsy.

Still trying all of the other sleep aids, swaddling, white noise etc. Raised the head end of the cot. Tried various dummies tom tip, agent, NUK genius. I have to hold them in, if I let go she drops it & doesn't seem interested - is this normal at first or does it mean she doesn't want?

Last night was the worst night so far, no sleep whatsoever & husband couldn't settle her either. She was just so uncomfortable.

I'm worried about her sleeping in our bed. Neither of us smoke drink etc.

If I give it a try what are the rules? Can I still have a pillow & duvet?

Thanks again for all advice

The biggest factor that causes light sleeping in a newborn is hunger.

Feed, feed, feed and feed lots more.

Haven't read all the responses but I have a 3 week old so going through this now too! She is my second though so I've learned a few things from first time around! She might be a bit cold? My room is 20 degrees and DD wears babygrow, long sleeved vest and is in a 2.5 tog sleeping bag (doesn't like swaddling same as DS). Also try a Sleepyhead...I've used one in my bedside crib for both and it makes a real difference. Other than that it sounds like you're doing everything right. My DD wakes every 1.5/2 hrs for food right now so it is tough!

Look at the safe sleeping guidelines for co-sleeping/bedsharing.
www.laleche.org.uk/safe-sleep-the-breastfed-baby/
I don't have a duvet but sleep in fleece pj's(shirt to undo or just pull up) so I'm warm enough & my room is 21 degrees and baby either has sleeping bag or blanket. Pillows are under my head and I sleep in like a 'C' shape curled around him to feed(since 4months not at newborn). When he was newborn I fed fed fed (biological position) until he was sleepy 'milk drunk' and rolled him off me on to his back next to me. Sometimes though he slept on my stomach and I dozed...in reclining position in the middle of my double bed. My DH would check on us a lot. My next to me cot was mainly used for my snacks & massive drink cup with water for me which he always kept topped up. & I used it for changing baby. It was only when he was maybe 5/6 Weeks he started sleeping in it properly. Did you try tapping the dummy lightly?

Congratulations Heatherbell1978. I think your eldest is the same age as my DD. Nice to hear about a fellow postnatal-er having a baby

Bed sharing - I also used to sleep in a C around baby. No duvet on them, just their clothes and sleep bag. Like a PP said, read up on the guidelines if you are considering it. Saved my sanity.

OP don't despair it will improve.... when you feed her, is she getting a good feed? Or is she still fussy on the boob?
I agree with FATE that they need a full belly to sleep. Maybe get someone to watch you feed her? eg HV or NCT support person or lactation consultant. If baby's latch is not good, she won't get enough milk each feed.
Also agree DS loves sleepyhead. We put it on top our duvet and sleep next to him when he's unsettled.
But mostly you must try and get some extra help: mum/dad/aunty whatever: get them to hold the baby an hour or two while you get some food and shut eye.... even if its just an hour or two. This is essential, exhausted hungry mum does not make for good milk production!
(Hugs)
Good luck

It sounds so much like wind op. It is a myth that bf don't need to be winded. It worked for my ds to lay him on his tummy after a feed. He'd then burp and I could roll him over.

Does she do the whole head bobbing at the boob thing? I think that was wind.

I've been told by bottle feeding mums that this doesn't happen. The babies just wake up for 1-2 feeds between your bestie and morning and no evening fussiness!! I don't know if this is true though.

Good luck