Is this normal?

[Sunisshining12]

I'm a ftm with a 2.5 week old DD.

Is it normal for her to be awake ALL night? She generally sleeps from about 11.30pm until 1am and then after that it's constant feeding & crying.

I don't know why she's crying I change her,feed her,cuddle her she just won't settle in the next to me cot, she constantly wants to be held or at the breast.

On some occasions I've fell asleep with her in my bed which I really want to avoid as I know it's dangerous.

I'm BF & try to wind her after a feed, she rarely brings any wind up but usually gets hiccups when i lay her down/starts whining & seems uncomfortable?

I introduced a dummy a few nights ago. She sucks it for a bit but as soon as it falls out the crying starts again.

I sat crying at 6am exhausted & not knowing how to settle her. My husband works long hours so I try not to wake him in the night now he's back at work. When he holds her she settles, it's almost like she doesn't like me!

She sleeps in a bedside cot with a cotton sheet & 1 layer cellular blanket. She wears a vest & baby grow, the room is usually 17-18 degrees.

It's been like this since the day we got home from hospital. I feel guilty complaining but I just don't know if this is normal & tbh I really wasn't expecting it to be like this. It's so miserable.

Also - people talk about the four day blues when your hormones are all over the shop, but I found the second week the absolute worst, it got better quickly after that.

DD was exactly like this. She wouldn't sleep during the day unless I held her.

My only reasoning was she needed to be reassured I was there constantly. Then at 9 weeks I put her down at 11pm and she slept right through till 6am. It was though she knew I was always going to be there so didn't need the constant reassurance. She continued to sleep through from then on

Thank you everyone this site is fab! I'm going to give the hv a call & ask about the congestion, or do I need to call the GP? I don't even know who to call! God this is hard!

Hi there Sunisshining!

Didn't want to read and run. I could have written your post when my little one was that age.

Just echoing what everyone else has said really and just letting you know you're doing a FAB job!

I would call the doctors and get an appointment there. Let them know how old your little one is and that should get you an appointment straight away. My little one was also congestiony for several weeks/months (it's all a blur now). The doctors said he was still mucussy and gave the usual advice of elevate head in cot, changing mat etc and maybe a bath in a steamy bathroom.

Keep doing what you're doing, you're doing great xx

Have you tried a second blanket? My son initially screamed blue murder when I put him in his crib, but a second blanket seemed to help. So he effectively had - vest, sleep suit and two blankets and our room was about 17-20 degrees (took me weeks to stop worrying about the fact I had slightly deviated from the NHS sleep advice!). He also slept much better in his pram bassinet so that was carted upstairs to our bedroom for a few weeks.

I'm of the opinion that if you're worried about your baby's health, straight to gp. I've found the GPs are all very nice and reassuring and are all adamant that I should go whenever I'm worried and they are happy to provide reassurance.

fate

Or as my midwife said "just whip em out love"

There is a new book out called "biological feeding" all about how breastfed babies actually need more of a gap between feeds than what we have been giving them.

Has given me pause to think as I was always just used my boob as the go to for every situation when they were tiny

My DD had terrible colic and would stay awake for hours. We are talking six or seven or so in a row with possibly with a tiny five minute cat nap in my arms. She was so distressed.

Turns out she was real I quite poorly and wasn't getting enough milk. Switched her to comfort milk, changed her bottles and persevered and it got better.

It's heartbreaking (and completely exhausting) until you source a solution. Hope it improves soon .

It depends on your parenting style SchnitzelVonCrumb. And I think its reasonable to say that at 3 weeks into your first child, op may not truly know her parenting style.

I am like you SchnitzelVonCrumb - dummy, swaddle, putting baby down, hands-off methods to encourage independant sleeping. But it would be wrong to assume everyone favours that parenting style, so they should do that.

Very many aren't a will argue vehemently that breast feeding is about so much more than calories. It's equally about comfort. A crying baby is going to need comfort even without calories.

I can't see any good reason to tell a first time parent, with an under 6 week old still trying to establish breastfeeding and "find herself" in this new world of parenting, that she shouldn't always offer breast first.

I am a huge independant sleeping advocate, dummy from birth, settle baby using non-feeding methods. But with all four of my children, I would not have considered not breastfeeding at the first sign of distress.

Fair enough at 8 weeks old, 12 weeks old. OPs baby is not yet 3 weeks old. Breast feeding needs establishing.

"Very many parents aren't a will argue vehemently that breast feeding is about so much more than calories. It's equally about comfort."

I desperately want her to settle & sleep in her own cot, and not on me/in my bed. I just did that out of desperation for sleep.

Swaddled her last night, used the womb sounds app & a dummy which she only sucks if I sit there & hold it in (just ordered some different brand dummies to try). Her head is elevated by a towel. No bright lights or interaction in the night. 1 nappy change.

She sounds like darth vadour when she lays flat on her back, like she's full of congestion. Am trying to get an appt with the GP if I can eventually get through!

Thanks again for the support it's good to know I'm not the only one

Me careful elevating her head with a towel.

For safe sleep, babies should have nothing in their cot at all. See the Lullaby Trust SIDS recommendations.

A safer way to elevate baby's head is to put something (tuna tins work well) under the legs of the cot at one end. Don't raise too high though, that's also a risk.

OP I was telling someone else recently that when DS was a newborn he sounded like a cross between a rattlesnake and a warthog. Scared the life out of me! I took him to the GP also who said he still just had a junky chest and that it would clear in time. The noise did calm down over a few weeks but we also later discovered that he had silent reflux, and I have always wondered whether this was missed in the early days. May well not be the case for you but this is a good resource for SR so you can look out for the signs as your LO matures...

www.reflux.org.au/information/common-characteristics-of-reflux/

Good luck x

nothing of value to add....but due my first baby tomorrow and this thread has been really educational! Thanks OP for starting this thread (and I hope all settles soon) - and all PP's for the info shared.

My dd was like this, she had cmpa. Try cutting soya and dairy out of your diet if it persists

Hang on in there. It will get better. It's still early days and so tough. You're doing amazingly well breastfeeding. They just need so much feeding and holding while they are so small. My second was the same and I didn't even get through the first week without starting co-sleeping. Am still doing that and breastfeeding and she's now a toddler. 😬
I did learn that she needed much more warming up than my first so I used thicker sleeping bags once I'd sussed it. My first baby was the opposite and always so hot. I'm not advocating co-sleeping as safety-wise I know it stresses people out. I operated by the safety guidelines and it saved me. That and feeding lying down which I never got the hang of first time round.
The best piece of advice anyone can give you is stick with it and you're not on your own!
Also to "set" the day and night, try to expose baby to as much daytime sun/air as possible, if you're physically able at this stage. It seems like the end of the world when you're tired but you'll get there. Honest.

You poor thing. I went through exactly the same with my twins and was so upset that I wasn't enjoying being a mum. I can honestly say that it will get better and you will forget the bad bits from the early weeks. My two are 5 months now and I'd say it was around 8 weeks that there was a huge improvement. They now sleep 7pm-7am! Bliss!

The congestion could be normal newborn congestion - they can have a lot of mucous left over. Or, as others have mentioned, it could be a sign of reflux/silent reflux. It took me a while to get my two diagnosed with silent reflux as a result of a CMPI but as soon as they were, we were able to treat it and see an immediate improvement. Is the noise she makes on her back a straining noise? If so, that's reflux/silent reflux and a gp can help with medication for this (prepare to be persistent and fight for it though). In the meantime, you need her cot at more of an angle than a blanket will provide. You can buy wedges which give a 18-30 degree angle. Or alternatively you can stack some big books under the legs on the head side of the cot.

Good luck and remember it will get better

DS had the congestion. I read somewhere it can happen when their noses are just too small! Propping up end of crib so that books helped us as did a humidifier. We used the humidifier for first couple of months. Also has the advantage of working as white noise too

Thanks again everyone. Another rough night. Put her down 20 mins after feed when she's fast asleep, same again hiccups & whining which turns into full on crying. Not interested in dummy (think she can't breathe very well through nose & dummy makes it worse).

GP told me to give her 1ml infacol before each feed, HV told me to get some nasal saline drops.

Hoping this will pass quickly!

You have my sympathy OP DS wouldn't settle outside of being held for the first 6 weeks, not even 10 minutes ... was awful, but he just grew out of it eventually.

Agree that your DH needs to take some of the pain in the overnights. This isn't forever and the first few weeks are the worst - if she will only settle being held, he needs to do a couple of hours so you get a bit of sleep each night.

PP suggestions all good - prop up the cot slightly, and Infacol is great stuff.

Good luck. This too will pass!

Bless OP ithink it is totally fine to not be loving this bit of motherhood!! It does NOT mean you don't love your baby or she wont love you. She settles better with your DH because he is undoubtedly less frazzled/exhausted. I would take advantage of that while it lasts!
You willdoubtless read lots about routines etc, but when they are tiny and you aretrying toestablish BF it is just boob booob and more boob. Later on you willsettlein to a sort of routine. I like babywhisperer but each to their own.
You are doing great honnestly!
Try to sleepin the day when she does.
Summon help eg grandparents/good friends! They willonthe whole be delighted to be asked.
Hang on in there.....
and congratulations🙌😘

Practical suggestions to settle her:
White noise (there are lots of apps)
Put her to sleep on her side patting her back then gently slowly roll her onto her back (dont leave her on her side)
Walk her in sling
Low lights
Leave her to cry a minute or two if you need to gather your thoughts and chill out a minute

Do you have the Chico next to me cot? I think it has a reflux mode where you put one end higher than the other? I did it with mine.
Also my son wouldn't sleep in his until 5/6 weeks old. Literally slept with him on me at night it was the only way - I had a difficult birth so rocking him/leaning over cot/getting up& down wasn't an option lol I have no idea why this helps with taking a dummy but tapping it lightly a few times seems to work?! I couldn't t feed lying down with a newborn either. Everything sounds like what I went through it's bloody hard work. What I do wish I'd done with breastfeeding is buy those cup things that collect the let down on the boob your not feeding on. Now I just think omg I must have had pints in those early days I could have used. Good luck 🙂

Sounds like my DD1. At the time I thought that babies should feed and then go down to sleep in crib etc - clearly my baby hadn't read the manual and was a very difficult baby. However, having now had many friends/colleagues with breastfed babies I realise that a baby not wanting to go down to sleep is completely normal!! Most co-sleep with their baby - maybe look into safe co-sleeping. I recently read a statistic that 48% of breastfeeding mothers co-sleep with their babies at some point.

My Dd2 is nearly 2 weeks old and she will generally go down at night, but last night fed 4 times from each boob between 10.30pm and 2am. I think sometimes problem is when milk supply isn't fully established that when they're feeding so often they're not really getting that 'full' feeling.

My daughter was the same. She would only sleep on me or DP. I was exhausted. She could be up for a couple hours, especially in the evening. Anyways at 4 weeks I bought a Sleepyhead and it changed everything. I used it to co-sleep at first (which felt much safer to me) and then moved her into her crib. She refused to be swaddled. Honestly I cannot recommend the Sleepyhead enough!

I could have written your post when my one was the same age. You are doing nothing wrong and it is completely normal for baby to cluster feed and not sleep because they are trying to increase your milk supply. Mine mainly did this in the evening and would be constantly feeding from 4pm-11pm, whilst dozing during feeds but no proper sleep. She also slept much better on my husband than me - I think because she couldn't smell milk on him. With me she would smell it and not calm until I fed her.

She did not go down well in our Next to Me either - I think she found it too big and didn't like the space. We relented and purchased a Purflo Nest (very much like a Sleepyhead) and this made a massive difference. During the day, we would bring the nest downstairs for her to sleep on and put it in to crib at night. As a pp said, a bonus of the Next to me is that you can actually tilt it and don't need to put towels under her head or the mattress.

If your husband can keep her for a short part of the night so you can get some rest, let him do that. Thats how we got through the early days. My parents also came and held her for a bit in the morning so I could get some sleep, knowing she was safe.

In terms of getting to know night and day, as a pp said, keep night dark with no stimulation. From 2 weeks old, we started a night time routine of massage, bath feed (in dark) and bed in her crib. This was not at a fixed time to start with, just at some point in the evening when it suited us to bathe her. We would keep her in the dark until morning. This helped her get to differentiate night and day from early on.

It will get better