Newborn wants to sleep on side

[DontKnow72511]

My baby is now 7 days old. All week he hasn't wanted to sleep in his bed so I've been co sleeping ( badly as I've been worried he'll die )

Tonight is the first night he's let me put him on his own and it's been around 2 hours now and he's slept peacefully on his side.

I've got a sensor mat that will sound off if he stops breathing,

The midwife was adamant about putting him on his back and because he's so small I'm even more worried about him ( 4lb 14oz )

But Everytime I put him on his back he wakes up

If I've got the moniter he'll be ok won't he? I don't know what to do,

Watching with interest.

Our batshit crazy bloody NCT lady spent "how to put baby to sleep" this week saying shit like "but what if your baby won't sleep on their back" and then offering no fecking advice. fucking panic mongering bitch

Yes my midiwfe just spoke about the dangers of SIDS more than anything.

I'll add that I'm single and have a 2 year old so help isn't an option and catching up on sleep during the day isn't an option either

My DD was a side sleeper when newborn. I wedged her tummy with a towel so she couldn't roll onto her front. We also raised the head of her bed slightly which encouraged her to go on her back. She often rolled onto her back after a while. She's now 1 and a full on tummy sleeper.

My baby was a side sleeper too, he still is at 10 months old.

I took him to my very experienced GP as I was worried. My GP said it was the classic recovery position, as long as we didn't put cushions or toys in the cot with him he would be fine.

Mine was a side sleeper too and I just wedged her in her sleepyhead. Only lasted a few months then moved to her back.

The midwife for a previous baby was way more old school and basically said you weigh up the risks. Do you smoke/drink/ was the baby early etc

My 16 day old has bad wind ?reflux (going to GP today) and much prefers to sleep on her side, I just put rolled up blankets near her tummy that wedge her in so she couldn't roll onto her tummy. If you do that and you've got the breathing mat then you're doing everything you can.

My 4 month old has slept on her side every night since birth (well since 2 weeks after birth when she allowed me to put her down), she's in a sleepyhead... to me it felt safer than her sleeping on my chest.

Both of mine tended to sleep on their sides from very early on. If he is in your room that's the safest place he can be, try to relax.

People too easily forget the reason for the "Back to Sleep" campaign. It is to prevent the unexpected and sudden death of your child.

Babies being put to sleep only on their backs is the single biggest factor that reduced SIDS deaths.

This is especially true of babies born prematurely or small.

You will, like all parents, make your own judgment on risk management. There will be people who chose to ignore the risk. You need ti maje yoir own informed decision though. There are very well researched and accepted reason for your HV being adement.

Google "Evidence Base, Lullaby Trust" for the research and evidence the NHS use to inform SIDS policy. It's a detailed article but may help for you to make an informed decision.

Side sleeping is specifically mentioned as a risk in the evidence base.

Ds slept on his side fir a while. He had been breech with his feet up by his head and if you pit him down on his back (as I always did) He would just roll onto his side, I think his feet still being up dragged him over. It scared me a lot tbh. But in his moses basket his feet would kind of wedge against the side in front of him so he wouldnt go onto his front. I literally couldn't stop him rolling over. I would choose to put him on his side though, as soon as his legs dropped down he stayed on his back.

I don't want to scare anyone - all parents weigh up various risks and do their best. I have to second what fate said about back to sleep and The Lullaby Trust. Please read their advice and make an informed decision.

I lost a big, healthy, rolling 7 month old to SIDS.

Leapling

I am so sorry

It is painful, but I do so value it when
bereaved parents could come into threads like these (and they are frequent on the Sleep Board). People think "but I need to sleep and baby gets upset on his/her" and I think in their sleep deprived state they forget that what we are talking about here is the stark difference between an unsettled baby and a dead baby.

The risks of side and front sleeping position are significant and highly researched. Make your own decision, yes of course. But make sure it's an informed decision.

leapling so sorry.

Fate - just wondering what you'd suggest re a baby that literally won't/can't stay on his back as I described above? I always put him down on his back but he'd go straight over.

I would never want anyone to make a decision on this based on my opinion, it's such an important thing that ever one should (I think) read the evidence and then make managed risks based on their own view of weighing up the risks.

There's never going to be zero risk, so it's about juggling and assessing individual factors.

a baby that literally won't/can't stay on his back

... probably has reflux, so GP appointments and prescriptions would be needed first and foremost.

I'd raise one end of the cot to ease this and use a dummy - it helps with reflux.

Then, very personally to me, I'd use the bouncy chair in the short term if sleep on the back is absolutely impossible. The raised head and the ability to bounce helps with sleep.

But I would do this whilst bearing in mind the nature of the risks involved. The main risk of bouncy chair is leaning forward to tip over - a risk lower when baby is very young so immobile.

There is also the risk of suffocation when the head bends forward. So I'd make very sure that the gradient of the chair wasn't too high.

I'd be balancing both of these again at the fact that the single greatest risk of SIDS comes from side/back sleeping. So while the above both carry risk, it's a lower risk than poor sleeping position.

I'd also ensure I did everything that helps lower SIDS risk. Namely:

• dummy use
• room share
• correct temprature and clothing
• attentive to all baby's needs

I want to reiterate though, I wouldn't want anyone to make a decision based on my (or anyone else's) chooses. Risk management is very personal.

Each person needs to make a decision on which they can justify to themselve if the worst hapiens and their baby dies, that they did their best to make the right decision.

You can get a thing called the delta wedge on amazon which lets babies sleep more safely on their side.
Bouncy chairs and car seats are not safe for extended periods. I think the max recommended time is 1 hour with constant supervision.

DontKnow72511 - have you tried a swaddle and a dummy?

My first baby died 2 hours after he was born which is why I'm even more worried about my son. I had a sensor mat with my daughter but I wasn't scared like this.

He won't take a dummy I've tried 3 different types, inread that dummy's help prevent SIDS but he won't take to one.

He does like being swaddles but the midwife advised against that and said babies should have their hands out of the blankets.

My sensor mat has the room temperature on it, alarm goes off after 30 or 40 seconds of no movement and he is literally right next to my bed.

Ive googled reflux but doesn't have any of the symptoms,

He's rarely sick, feeds well his age ( wasn't due till 14th December ) and sleeps fine during the day

He had 4 hours on his side last night, I left him as he was. He went back in after a feed but woke up shortly after and cried everytime he was put back so had him on a pillow next to me then he slept for 2 hours.

Absolutely exhausted. I know it will get better with time I'm just bloody shattered lol

I'm so sorry for your loss too OP

All you can do is know and understand the risks then make the best decision for you.

Silent reflux is when acid flows upwards from the stomach but does not reach the mouth. No sick, or not much sick, but lots of crying.

I found with my youngest that a dummy took some perserverence.

As I'm sure you know, sleeping on a fusion is a risk. How about a slerpyhead if he likes that enclosed feeling? Or just cosleeping?

fusion = cushion

No he doesn't cry much either the most he cries is during a nappy change or when He's in bed

He's over tired now, he's been awake 4 hours and I feel sick in that tired

I darent co sleep any more he's so tiny I'm scared he'll pass away

This is god awful I just want to go to sleep

He's currently swaddles in his swinging bouncer and we're in the dark in the front room, hesbhad 60ml of a bottle, been buried been changed there's nothing else I can do

Burped not buried

I've managed to get him to take a dummy ( 10 minutes of tapping it while he had it ) and now he seems to be asleep in my arms

I'm going to try putting him in bed soon, hopefully he'll stay asleep and hopefully he'll keep the dummy in

Dummy, swaddle and full tummy usually does it in these newborn days.

It will get easier and calmer

I'm surprised at this. All my four we're put on their sides, would even put a rolled up towel behind their backs to keep them there. Mind you I am going back a bit they are all in their 20's now. But that is what I was told to do, a bit like putting and adult in the recovery position, so if they we're sick as well it would dribble on to the bed. My youngest would always try to get on her tummy. When she got a little bigger no matter what you did she would end up on her tummy, knees up, and face to the side.