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Need my baby taken away

83 replies

peaceloveandbiscuits · 26/09/2016 23:45

Can't cope anymore. He's 21mo, has been in some sort of sleep regression for over a month. The past week in particular I've been getting snatches of an hour at a time, and now he has a cold so it's even worse. He won't respond to sleep training the way he has in the past. Nothing seems to work. I can't cope with being screamed at and hit all day because he's so tired, and then screamed at all night because he won't sleep. I'm so tired. I wish someone would take him away from me just for a while, so I could sleep and feel strong enough to deal with him.

OP posts:
peaceloveandbiscuits · 27/09/2016 23:25

So it begins.

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Wisewisewords · 28/09/2016 00:13

(A few years back for me but) I rang the health visitor who had a "sleep team service" so we had an experienced health visitor who came to the house every week or so until better sleep habits established. From memory, she asked us to keep a sleep diary: what you did before bedtime, what time you put them down, what you did to settle them, what time they got to sleep, what time they woke in night, what you did, when they went back to sleep. Etc. And the same for how much sleep you got.

What helped was a better bedtime routine at a regular time, bath, supper, teeth, a long story cuddled up in bed. As calm as possible and low light.

I think we also started sitting on the bed while they went to sleep, then on the floor next to the bed, then a foot away, etc until you're in the doorway then outside room then at top of stairs etc.

What also helped a lot was a sticker chart altough mine were a bit older, about 3 1/2 and nearly 2. Might be worth a try though. Make it achievable, explain how they're getting grown up and learning to sleep in their own bed and get sticker for not getting out of bed while going to sleep. Print out a nice looking chart and give them lots of praise when they earn a sticker. If get five stickers they get a present (comic or something). When that well established eventually give stickers for going all night. We over promised on a big gift for this last bit not realising that it was a set that cost nearly £100. I was a bitConfused when looked at the price but followed through and bought it and to be honest it would have been worth £1000Grin

Don't know if the health visitors still do this but worth asking. I was desperate when I rang as had two no sleepers that thought bedtime was fun time. And would wake in the night and only go to sleep if DH or I were with them. I would fall asleep knelt on the floor next to their bed I was so tired. How I never crashed the car I'll never know.

Youcantscaremeihavechildren · 28/09/2016 00:31

I feel like this a lot, it is fucking hard. DS is currently sleeping on me for now, he'll be 18 months on Monday and his sleep has always been shit but it got a bit better after I stopped bf at night, then a week or so ago it's shit again, I'm feeding him again and I could just cry. I'm lucky as I work and although every day is like wading through custard, I don't have to deal with him all day too. There is a sleep regression at 18 months and his molars are coming through, you're definitely not the only one to be going through this or feeling like this, it will pass I promise, my dd was a spectacularly shitty sleeper too until 3 but we still hadon't another. I'm ashamed to say I often loseen it with ds and I've had to put him down and walk away more than once as I'm scared at how angry I get on no sleep. We take it in turns when he's awful, he doesn't really settle for dh but he does it anyway. One night of 3 hrs stints of sleep helps, I can manage if I know I can sleep the next night. Take it in turns for lie ins at weekends and yes definitely get him in nursery and go back to bed! Mine goes one day a week term time, my mum has him the other days.
Also I find putting Epsom or dead sea salts in his bath every night helps, great for sleep. Rescue remedy night on the tongue, a little peppermint tea in water during the day to make sure his stomach isn't unsettled and he doesn't have milk as it makes his nappies disgusting and keeps him awake. Loads of fresh air and getting just an hour or two to myself during the weekends helps a bit. It's just about survival though really. I do look back at the nights with dd and I remember a few of them but most are just a blur, I mostly remember the good stuff, you will too. It won't last forever.

tissuesosoft · 28/09/2016 07:54

Peaceloveandbiscuits- I'm in Guildford, if you ever want to meet up message me. I have suffered from PND and have a Homestart volunteer. Completely understand the feeling of being isolated xx

peaceloveandbiscuits · 28/09/2016 09:17

Tissue thank you, I'm not far from you at all :)

So DS was screaming when DH was in with him and I kept almost getting up, but for some reason I didn't, and I fell asleep, and I slept in my own bed all night by myself, and I feel so good today I could cry. Poor DH slept on the sofa with DS on top of him, but I'm trying not to feel too guilty because I really needed that sleep. I will swap with him tonight.

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tissuesosoft · 28/09/2016 21:32

So pleased you managed to get some sleep! My DD only had two 20 minute naps today, am knackered. Hopefully we can arrange a coffee sometime and hope tonight is better with the calpol highs xx

peaceloveandbiscuits · 29/09/2016 04:47

He was in bed with me from 12:30-4:30, kicking me and generally being a pest, but I've coped so much better with it because I had a great sleep the night before. Feeling so much calmer and I'm glad I started this thread. I'm trying to let go of the guilt I feel about giving in when I'm shattered, and like I'm not creating bad habits by not being strict. Sometimes you just need to survive. And hey, tomorrow night is my turn to sleep again.
I hope everyone else has had ok nights.

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Gillian1980 · 29/09/2016 12:41

I would tell dh that this weekend you need to go and spend one night in a hotel by yourself while he cares for the baby.

It can just be a travelodge or similar.

Have a bath, take some nice snacks, watch a bit of tv or read to unwind. Then sleep and return home after checkout.

He needs to let you have a good rest and somewhere where you won't have to listen to your son crying if dh is struggling to settle him.

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