Please someone help me. This baby will not sleep anywhere.

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She won't sleep in her cot, she won't sleep in her car seat, she won't sleep in her pram. She will only sleep if she's held and even then not for very long. She is exhausted because she wakes up because she's unsettled, not because she's well rested. I don't know what to do. She cries and cries and cries because she's so tired. She gets herself so worked up that she won't feed and so she just won't settle. I have a sling but she won't even go to sleep in that for me. Please help me. My baby is becoming really unhappy because every waking minute she is exhausted.

We do have a swing that we had for DD1 but haven't tried too much this time. I'll give it a go.

DD1 was on both ranitidine and Domperidone which I mentioned to my GP and he said we'll see how it goes with ranitidine at first and there's room to increase the dose if it's not doing much, and then we could possibly introduce Domperidone as well.

The lactofree cheese is ok! Also my DD used to get constipated if I accidentally had milk.

I'll give the cheese a try. I love cheese far too much! Is goats cheese okay? Or is it best to avoid all animal milk?

Also, I'm using oat milk in my coffee but it really seems to separate. Do you know of a better alternative?

Unsweetened almond milk is fine in tea...

Pour any milk alternative over the back of a tea spoon that's warm eg has been sitting in the black drink. I stayed away from goats cheese until I'd done a month dairy free then introduced it. She had no reaction but I was damned if I was gonna go back to screaming for a bit of cheese!

If you're cutting out dairy don't have the lacto-free cheese!! The problem babies have is with cows milk protein allergy, it's not a problem with lactose (the sugar in milk). All the "lacto-free" stuff still has the cows milk protein in. Other animal milks are similar to cows milk so you need to avoid them all.

I find almond milk is good in coffee and doesn't split. I also tried hemp milk on cereal the other day which was lovely. Please don't forget to take calcium and vitamin d supplements while you're not having dairy. I really hope cutting out dairy solves your problems... I've now been off dairy 8 weeks and the difference is amazing.

That's odd Parsnip as she didn't react to the lacto free stuff & still doesn't?

Might be odd but lactose intolerance in babies is incredibly rare and your own milk would have lactose in it regardless of what you ate. Sometimes babies do strange things though and they're all different, maybe because it's such a small amount of dairy your little one is okay? I wasn't trying to criticise what you said it's just lots of people try to cut out dairy, take the lacto-free stuff and then give up as their baby still has symptoms but actually they've been having cows milk protein along!

My DD disn't sleep for 96 hours - not even a nap.

We tried everything.

Resorted to cranial osteopathy & it changed her immediately. Highly recommended it if you're open to alternative therapies.

96 hours?!!!! That's insane.

This evening she has been worse than yesterday but better than before that. I don't know if the Ranitidine is doing much and I think it's supposed to be quite fast acting. I'm starting to think she's just hungry and getting frustrated because she's not getting milk quick enough in the evening when my supply is lower. I don't know. I really don't want to supplement her but I hate the thought of her being so hungry.

My 2 are almost permanently fixed to my boobs cluster feeding in the evenings - it's part of the process that increases your milk supply.

Does she feed from both sides during a single feed?

She does feed from both sides but one side has a much lower supply (I previously had a lump removed). And in the evening she will often refuse that side. In fact she'll refuse both sides as she pulls off screaming. I don't know if it's frustration that she's not getting milk quick enough.

I've got an appointment today and I've expressed milk. Hopefully she won't need it while I'm out and instead I can try giving it to her tonight and see if that settles her.

DD was like this with her reflux too, but I'm afraid I have no wise words, only sympathy!
Between 7-11pm she would scream and arch away from me during a feed, and scream some more because she was too hungry to sleep because she wasn't feeding properly... The GP and HV said classic reflux but we only ever got baby gaviscon which only helped during the day.
She grew out of it around 3-4 months and while she is still a terrible light sleeper at 5 months, she does feed normally and goes to bed at 7 without hours of screaming.
Hope it gets better for you soon

Thank you, that's reassuring to know - that the arching etc is a sign of reflux. Does anyone know why reflux is worse in the evening? Is it because of the cluster feeding meaning there's more milk to come back up?

As an aside - I think I read something that said you shouldn't have Soya milk when you cut out dairy but I can't find it now and I'm not sure if that's right - I thought it was vegan. Any ideas?

Last night was weird. I was really tired by about 6pm and started to doze on the sofa while DD was asleep. She started to wake up just before 7 and I thought "great, this is the start of our regular 3 hour screaming routine" but it wasn't. She had a feed and the next thing I knew it was 10pm! She woke up about 10.30, had a feed and then went back to sleep. I don't want to speak too soon but something obviously worked yesterday.

Pleased you've seen some progress OP, hope things are still improving and you had another good night last night :)

We had a good evening but yesterday afternoon was hellish. She was awake from around 12.30 until 7.30 and she was so upset and over tired. We tried her with a dummy for the first time but she didn't seem to like it. She also seems to be waking more in the night for feeds but I don't mind that as she's not upset or uncomfortable during the night. I don't know what the answer is here. I just want her to be happy and pain free.

I keep trying to get her to fall asleep in her cot. It hasn't been successful yet but she has laid down quite happily for 5 to 10 minutes before she's started crying. I'm hoping that one day she will just fall asleep. Possibly deluded! Ewan the sheep is helping out with his white noise as well.

I've been trying to get her to sleep for an hour now. Why the fucking fuck will this child not fucking sleep? She's clearly tired but she will not sleep!

We used the pocobaby hammock instead of a cot/moses basket. It made her much more settled and less refluxy. We also use the baby merlin sleepsuit. It's so hard when they just won't sleep, you try anything! Can never be sure what will work for your baby though, as they're all so different.

The best thing I ever bought for my colicky baby was a second hand Fisher Price Linkadoo swing.

I also raised the head of the moses basket, I put a folded towel underneath the mattress. Colief worked too, so keep going with that.

Mine used to start with the awful screaming at 6pm every night.

Thank you for the suggestions.

She finally fell asleep while I was feeding her but guess what? She's awake again!!!!

I've just read that sparkling water contains high levels of sodium which can be difficult for breastfed babies to digest. I've been practically living off of sparkling water as I much prefer it to still. I did notice the other day though that I didn't drink anything fizzy all day and she was fine all evening. I'm going to try sticking to still water for a few days and see if that helps.

I think I have cracked it! DS slept through the last two nights, no screaming or back arching at feeds and wakes up smiling (sometimes ) what's made the difference for me is aptamil reflux formula which is thicker and therefore doesn't come back up. I know this is of no use to you OP but the thickener in it is carob which you can buy online 'Cow and Gate Carobel' which you can give to breastfed babies as a paste. I've got some but haven't used it as the formula is working well for me. However it might be worth a read up on?

OP I've just read your whole thread and wanted to add my sympathies, I was in a very very very similar position with DD1 (6 weeks prem) a few years ago (although thankfully with no older child - that does make it harder for you).

I also tried ranitidine and no dairy and colief. Nothing really helped until she was 15 weeks and I found out she was tongue tied. Got that snipped and within a week or so things were very different (though we had a rock to sleep association to sort out... but at least the feeding and digestive stuff was sorted). It also helped that by that age she was much better able to burp and poo.

Hang on in there. It will get better. As they get older they need less sleep, their digestive system improves and it will become more clear what (if anything) is wrong.

My recommendations:

• Sleepyhead or Cocoonababy. I wish I'd had one for DD1.
• Swaddling and dummy, I gave up too easily and wish I had persevered. Also white noise.
• Get checked for tongue tie. People in SCBU are IME rubbish at this. You really need a qualified breastfeeding counsellor to check.
• Go back on dairy. It's unlikely to be CMPI and you need the calories if you are BF.
• For overtiredness, try long walks in the pram (you have to keep moving, don't stop!) - tricky with your older child but perhaps at the weekends? - or maybe a drive in the car. The more you can get your baby caught up on sleep, the easier the next nap will be.
• Don't bother with electric swing or electric bouncy chair. Cost a fortune and are useless for very overtired baby IME