Please someone help me. This baby will not sleep anywhere.

[maybethedayafter]

She won't sleep in her cot, she won't sleep in her car seat, she won't sleep in her pram. She will only sleep if she's held and even then not for very long. She is exhausted because she wakes up because she's unsettled, not because she's well rested. I don't know what to do. She cries and cries and cries because she's so tired. She gets herself so worked up that she won't feed and so she just won't settle. I have a sling but she won't even go to sleep in that for me. Please help me. My baby is becoming really unhappy because every waking minute she is exhausted.

[maybethedayafter]

Today she has slept longer during the day - albeit in the sling and when being held - and remarkably we haven't had our usual crying and screaming in the evening. Is it possible that all of that has been down to being overtired but unable to sleep because she's hungry?

[janethegirl2]

Will she sleep on you, skin to skin? My dd loved sleeping like that and she would sleep for 6-8 hours most nights at 5 weeks old.

[maybethedayafter]

Thank you all for the replies and suggestions.

She still hadn't done a poo by Friday which was 5 days and I mentioned it to the HV on Thursday and she said if she hadn't gone by Friday to take her to the GP as this isn't normal for her. He said it could be the ranitidine causing the constipation and to stop that for a while until she gets back to normal and then start it again and see if it has the same effect. He gave us some suppositories to get things moving. I had to use one on Friday and yesterday as she was screaming in pain again and it helped and she settled down but today she is just the same - she suddenly seems to be unable to do a poo on her own. She screams and screams and she's straining but nothing's happening. Although sometimes she does pass wind and that makes her scream more. Since stopping the Rantidine she's also started bringing up milk again and she's arching her back again when I lay her down. So it seems that she is in pain from her stomach and also from the reflux.

She had been settling in her cot for a couple of hours each night but last night we tried to lay her down and she woke up after 5 minutes. I tried again and she woke up straight away so I just put her in with me. But if she's uncomfortable or in pain I can understand why that would make her want to be with me more. Hopefully that's all it is and we haven't taken a step back.

On the plus side though I tried swaddling her last night and although it didn't settle her on her own she did sleep from 10pm until 4am next to me - that's a new record! She is now 9lb (at 13 weeks old!) so she is finally big enough to go into a grobag so that's what I'm trying tonight. I've tried laying her down in it and again she was awake within minutes so she's currently laying on my lap in her grobag. Fingers crossed we have another long stretch of sleep tonight and the discomfort eases for her.

[TheHubblesWindscreenWipers]

The soy thing is because soy can trigger Kawasaki disease in young children. Best avoided! Oat milk is foul (tastes like the bottom of a hamster cage) but almond milk is ok ish. I would be wary about giving up dairy though. It really restricts your diet. I tried it because Ds is adreadful sleeper and the only effect was that he lost loads of weight :(

We also had really bad wind/poo cycles . Have you tried gentle bowel massage? You lie them on their back (or at a slight angle if you suspect reflux) and lift the legs so the knees press into the tummy. Hold the ankles together and rotate the legs clockwise a few times then do bicycling movements with the legs. All movements slow and gentle. We found that a few minutes of this produced a massive output of wind and significant improvements.
We also started solids early (on medical advice) and started him on oatmeal with some prune purée - also a little cooked boiled water. Helped loads with the constipation.
At this age the gut is firing up and developing a lot in anticipation of solids - it's very common for them to have tummy problems at this age.
My sympathies- Ds is still a terrible sleeper at almost one year. It truly is torture

[Stef24616]

A little wine may help her to sleep longer!! Just kidding!!
If you can get someone to help you with your older child it can do wonders! We went back to my home country for summer holidays and having my mum doing all the cooking and my hubby looking after DS1 I managed to focus on DS2 for a couple of weeks and got him on a decent schedule with naps and bedtime. Now that we're back and I have no help its a nightmare, he's all over the place again. You'ld be more relaxed too and you know they sense that the little devils :)

[maybethedayafter]

Thank you for the advice and suggestions. She only slept for a total of 2 hours today! 40 minutes in the cut this morning, about half an hour in the sling which was bloody hot! And lots of 10 minute dozes while I held her. I also had DD1 being a complete terror as she woke up really early and was shattered all day. Peppa Pig was pretty much permanently on the telly to try to minimise the tantrums!

DD2 has just fallen asleep on my lap feeding. Hopefully she'll stay settled now...oh and guess what, DD1 has just woken up! There is no end to this!!! DD2 still hasn't done a poo but is straining every time she passes wind and the wind has a really strong smell. I feel so sorry for her.

But on the plus side she slept in her cot for 2 1/2 hours last night which is probably a record since she came home! I had expressed some milk so DH gave her a bottle so I could get a bit more sleep. All of the benefit of the extra sleep was undone by today's performance though I need a holiday...or a lot of wine!

[Stef24616]

oh I can sympathise too. DS2 is 12 weeks and EBF. I recently discovered that he has lactose intolerance. He was very unsettled and wouldn't sleep unless held, sometimes if lucky I would be able to put him in his cot and he'd stay asleep. He sleeps better during the day than nighttime when he wakes almost hourly... Since I cut back on lactose he is much better with his sleep, and generally seems less fussy.
Another thing I noticed is that when I have people looking after DS1 (3 year old) and I can focus on DS2 exclusively he is much more relaxed and will sleep much morbetter easily. If others put him to sleep he will also put up less of a fight (suppose this has to do with the breastfeeding as he likes to comfort feed).
After 9 weeks of trying to give him the dummy he finally seems to accept it a little. He still doesn't hold it in on his own but if I hold him and hold the dummy to his mouth too after a little while he is asleep and doesn't wake as soon as he does when he is breastfed to sleep.
Really it's all trial and error ... Hope that some of my experiences may come in useful for you. Let us know how it goes.

[Artandco]

Try just giving some water each day. Mine were breastfed, but from a few weeks we gave them both some water from a doidy cup in the day. Started when it was super hot and continued as helped them go. Just a few sips at a time, it's probably around 1-2 oz a day

[maybethedayafter]

Yes, she's had the first rotavirus vaccine - they were done at 8 weeks actual age.

I think I'd be too scared to use that catheter! I think I'll try the prune juice first!

[minipie]

DD2 was like this - couldn't poo, not happy about it. It was at about 4-8 weeks iirc. The rotavirus vaccine seemed to sort it out (I think in some babies it causes diarrhoea but in her it just put her to normal ). Has your LO had the rotavirus vaccine yet - I think it's given at 8 weeks but not sure if they would do it at 8 weeks actual or corrected?

A little prune juice in water is sometimes recommended to help them poo. It didn't work for DD though. You could also try this - I think it would work (didn't try myself), though it's jolly pricey.

[maybethedayafter]

Thanks all. I'm going to find someone who can check for tongue tie.

I'm starting to think that it's her inability to do a poo which is causing all of her discomfort. I know that breastfed babies can go days without doing a poo but it's the discomfort that accompanies it. She seems like she's in lots of pain and then she'll pass wind and settle a bit but it goes on and on until she eventually does a poo and settles properly. I've tried massaging her tummy, cycling her legs etc. I don't know what else to try but she obviously needs to go and then pressure is making her really uncomfortable. Does anyone know of anything that can help? Or anything I could start or stop eating/drinking to help her go?

[FATEdestiny]

We tried her with a dummy for the first time but she didn't seem to like it

It can take perseverance. Some babies take to a dummy instantly, others need help (sometimes a lot of help) to 'get' the dummy.

It took 7 weeks of trying several times every single day to get my youngest to understand that if she sucked (rather than spitting out) the dummy it was comforting.

I knew from my older children how valuble a dummy is for independant sleeping, but it was not as much hassle to get them taking the dummy than my youngest.

Boy was it worth it though. From the day she accepted the dummy she went from crying to sleep to independant sleeping with zero grumbling within a week.

Dummies are worth their weight in good.

Keep perserveering.

[OldPhotoBlues]

I agree with minipie. We have a very similar story!

Be careful about giving up dairy. It's very commonly suggested and I know a lot of people swear by it but if you do it properly there's hardly anything you can actually eat. Which is not ideal when you have a non-sleeping baby and older child to care for. If it were a dairy allergy you'd usually expect to see very strange nappies (green poo and blood), and slow weight gain as well as the unsettled behaviour.

My DD loves her bouncy chair but she's never slept in it, either when she was an overtired mess or now when she's sleeping "normally". Suppose it's worth a try though if it worked for others!

If she'll sleep in the sling, is it worth trying to get all her naps in the sling for a few days in a row to try and "reset" her a bit? I did this with my DD and it worked well.

[minipie]

OP I've just read your whole thread and wanted to add my sympathies, I was in a very very very similar position with DD1 (6 weeks prem) a few years ago (although thankfully with no older child - that does make it harder for you).

I also tried ranitidine and no dairy and colief. Nothing really helped until she was 15 weeks and I found out she was tongue tied. Got that snipped and within a week or so things were very different (though we had a rock to sleep association to sort out... but at least the feeding and digestive stuff was sorted). It also helped that by that age she was much better able to burp and poo.

Hang on in there. It will get better. As they get older they need less sleep, their digestive system improves and it will become more clear what (if anything) is wrong.

My recommendations:

• Sleepyhead or Cocoonababy. I wish I'd had one for DD1.
  
• Swaddling and dummy, I gave up too easily and wish I had persevered. Also white noise.
  
• Get checked for tongue tie. People in SCBU are IME rubbish at this. You really need a qualified breastfeeding counsellor to check.
  
• Go back on dairy. It's unlikely to be CMPI and you need the calories if you are BF.
  
• For overtiredness, try long walks in the pram (you have to keep moving, don't stop!) - tricky with your older child but perhaps at the weekends? - or maybe a drive in the car. The more you can get your baby caught up on sleep, the easier the next nap will be.
  
• Don't bother with electric swing or electric bouncy chair. Cost a fortune and are useless for very overtired baby IME

[Mar15mite]

I think I have cracked it! DS slept through the last two nights, no screaming or back arching at feeds and wakes up smiling (sometimes ) what's made the difference for me is aptamil reflux formula which is thicker and therefore doesn't come back up. I know this is of no use to you OP but the thickener in it is carob which you can buy online 'Cow and Gate Carobel' which you can give to breastfed babies as a paste. I've got some but haven't used it as the formula is working well for me. However it might be worth a read up on?

[maybethedayafter]

I've just read that sparkling water contains high levels of sodium which can be difficult for breastfed babies to digest. I've been practically living off of sparkling water as I much prefer it to still. I did notice the other day though that I didn't drink anything fizzy all day and she was fine all evening. I'm going to try sticking to still water for a few days and see if that helps.

[maybethedayafter]

Thank you for the suggestions.

She finally fell asleep while I was feeding her but guess what? She's awake again!!!!

[memyselfandaye]

The best thing I ever bought for my colicky baby was a second hand Fisher Price Linkadoo swing.

I also raised the head of the moses basket, I put a folded towel underneath the mattress. Colief worked too, so keep going with that.

Mine used to start with the awful screaming at 6pm every night.

[Cocolocos]

We used the pocobaby hammock instead of a cot/moses basket. It made her much more settled and less refluxy. We also use the baby merlin sleepsuit. It's so hard when they just won't sleep, you try anything! Can never be sure what will work for your baby though, as they're all so different.

[maybethedayafter]

I've been trying to get her to sleep for an hour now. Why the fucking fuck will this child not fucking sleep? She's clearly tired but she will not sleep!

[maybethedayafter]

I keep trying to get her to fall asleep in her cot. It hasn't been successful yet but she has laid down quite happily for 5 to 10 minutes before she's started crying. I'm hoping that one day she will just fall asleep. Possibly deluded! Ewan the sheep is helping out with his white noise as well.

[maybethedayafter]

We had a good evening but yesterday afternoon was hellish. She was awake from around 12.30 until 7.30 and she was so upset and over tired. We tried her with a dummy for the first time but she didn't seem to like it. She also seems to be waking more in the night for feeds but I don't mind that as she's not upset or uncomfortable during the night. I don't know what the answer is here. I just want her to be happy and pain free.

[princesspineapple]

Pleased you've seen some progress OP, hope things are still improving and you had another good night last night :)

[maybethedayafter]

Last night was weird. I was really tired by about 6pm and started to doze on the sofa while DD was asleep. She started to wake up just before 7 and I thought "great, this is the start of our regular 3 hour screaming routine" but it wasn't. She had a feed and the next thing I knew it was 10pm! She woke up about 10.30, had a feed and then went back to sleep. I don't want to speak too soon but something obviously worked yesterday.

[maybethedayafter]

Thank you, that's reassuring to know - that the arching etc is a sign of reflux. Does anyone know why reflux is worse in the evening? Is it because of the cluster feeding meaning there's more milk to come back up?

As an aside - I think I read something that said you shouldn't have Soya milk when you cut out dairy but I can't find it now and I'm not sure if that's right - I thought it was vegan. Any ideas?