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Original poster

Baby wont stop waking at 5.30am :(

79 replies

KaransMom · 11/06/2016 06:13

Pls help a really exhausted mommy.
Little boy is now 3 months. Wont drink more than 4/5oz. Has a feed at 7pm goes down by 8pm has his dreamfeed about 10pm and will wake up about 2/3am for a feed. Then he wakes at 5.30am! He wont drink any milk and wont sleep. If he ever does its such a light sleep when i put him back in cot he just wakes up and kicks his arms n legs about like hes tired.
How do I get him to sleep better past his 2/3am feed until 7am feed? I dont want to feed him earlier as it throws out his whole days routine and worse still his bedtime.
Any advice welcome - a very very overtired mum who just cries all the time now due to exhaustion.

OP posts:
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JoandMax · 14/06/2016 04:35

You're not doing anything wrong at all!! Some babies sleep brilliantly then are awful sleepers as toddlers, some are early risers, some night owls - it's the luck of the draw!

DS1 is nearly 8 and always up by 6am latest, no amount of later bedtimes or cutting naps, for clocks etc when he was younger made any difference, it's just how he is. On the plus side he goes straight to bed when told, wherever we are, never faffs and gets up, never messes about.......

Although it doesn't feel like it your baby is doing well and a good sleeper for 3 months. DS2 was a horrific sleeper but it was so much easier to deal with when I just accepted that and stopped beating myself up trying to work out why he was

MuggleWuggle · 14/06/2016 05:10

You're not doing anything wrong, this is just your baby! My DD is 9 and the times when she has woken later than 5.30 have been few and far between. I used to spend ages stressing over routines and black out blinds etc but to be honest all it did was make me more stressed and tired. IMO it's best to give in and go with the flow. Adjust your own bed time so that you get more sleep,

Judgeaway · 14/06/2016 05:20

Your not doing anything wrong and all babies are different.
My eldest Ds slept 6-6 from a young age.
My 2 Ds who will be 4 at the weekend has never slept through. His usual routine is bed 8/9, wake at 10 wake at 12 then up at 1. Sometimes at 1 he'll go back over but he's up by 3!
I know your feeling exhausted but you can't make your baby do anymore he's already doing so well.
Your body does get use to it believe me. My dh works away so I do it all.
FlowersBrew

Maybebabybee · 14/06/2016 05:27

Your family are talking utter rubbish. Small babies are supposed to wake up at night. It's what they're designed to do.

Am up feeding my own three month old. He was also up at 2.30 Smile

Zaurak · 14/06/2016 07:26

You aren't going wrong! Your baby is sleeping better than probably the vast majority of babies of that age!

Mine sleeps no more than 20-40 minutes day or night

Why do your family care so much if the baby is sleeping through? What's it to them? Confused ask them if it'd be ok if you started criticising other babies for not being able to speak in sentences at 12 months or reading by age two (I could do that, so every other baby in the world should be able to, yes..?) or if you criticised them for their baby not crawling at 5 months and walking at 9, like our little niece. She can do it, so all their babies should too, right?

Or not... Because they are all different and do different things at different paces and sleeping/walking/talking/reading early etc do not give you some sort of moral superiority

Your baby is doing fine. If you need more sleep because of your health that's a different matter. Perhaps your family could direct their energies from criticism to helping with that?

PotteringAlong · 14/06/2016 07:38

Nothing wrong at all! Your baby is far too young to sleep train.

Damegemma82 · 14/06/2016 08:18

I was just being nosy with this thread as didn't feel I had anything to say that hadn't already been said, until you mentioned Gina Ford. That bloody book ruined my life with 1st DD. I was told by 2 girls at work how "amazing" the Gina Ford routine is and I've got to do it. I felt like such a failure when I didn't have a baby that would comply with these rules, I thought it was me being a failure as a mum. With new mum anxiety coupled with me being a worrier anyway it destroyed me. Don't listen to anyone else and do what's right for your baby and your family. Sounds to me like you've got a pretty perfect "routine" (I hate that word) for the age of your baby. The 5.30am wake up is frustrating but as others have said if you go to bed when baby goes to bed, get hubby to do 10pm feed you will feel better for sure. It's the hours before midnight that count!!

bobbinpop · 14/06/2016 08:24

Agree about going to bed early. Get your sleep any way possible! Xx

waitingforsomething · 14/06/2016 08:34

You're definitely not doing anything wrong. I'm not sure who your friends are but I would suggest they are not being completely honest if they all have 12 week olds sleeping through. Ive never met one!
Remember people have different versions of sleeping through which some say is a 5 hour stretch. you and your baby are doing really well, it's great sleep so far.

Original poster
KaransMom · 14/06/2016 08:51

Sorry guys, baby isnt going from 8pm to 5.30am! Its 8pm to 2/3am then wakes at 5.30am! Although its totally changed in last few days :(
He didnt sleep at all yesterday at 8 as was so overtired and just wriggled in his cot until next feed at 9.30 then slept till 3am woke up as tired i put him back to sleep and he woke at 5.30 for food and has only just woken up now about 8am.....i give up

OP posts:
Lweji · 14/06/2016 08:55

Look:

  • no babies are the same
  • babies change over time
  • babies are like grown ups and have different days
  • waking up once a night is quite normal at that age.
  • going from 8 pm to 2 am is a long stretch, which you could use as your main sleep time
bobbinpop · 14/06/2016 09:09

The night you've described would have been a 'good' night for us. My twins woke at least every 3 hours, but usually more often. DD2 often fed every 1.5 hours!

If you change your expectations, you'll start to feel better.

It's normal for babies/children to wake up in the night for years. Mine took 3 to go through the night. Plus 5:30 is a normal (if undesirable) waking time for lots of children. It's tough and, in my opinion, the hardest thing about being a parent to a young child... But pretty normal, and ignore Gina Ford if she says otherwise!

QforCucumber · 14/06/2016 09:10

Why are you saying you give up? Over 20 different people here have given you examples of how their baby's are sleeping. Last night we got 9:30-1,1:20-4:30,4:45-6:20.
The wake ups are normal - especially when baby is hungry.

Timetogrowup2016 · 14/06/2016 09:13

In the nicest way possible that's a great night for a three month old.
Dd woke at 11,1,4,6 last night and was hard to settle last night.
Their a lot of people who would love that kind of night with a baby your age.
You can't really sleep train a little one that age. You have to go with it. Try and get sleep where you can and nap when you can. If your oh is home at the weekends ask him to get up with baby one morning. If your breast feeding then feed him and hand him to oh some times to.

waitingforsomething · 14/06/2016 09:13

Why are you giving up? Your baby went back to sleep at 5.30 feed isn't that what you wanted? Lower you expectations of a tiny baby and you'll be fine

Maybebabybee · 14/06/2016 09:33

As pp have said you need to adjust your expectations. Even last night was actually good for a three month old. Your baby slept 9.30-3 which is 5.5 hours - an excellent stretch. He then went down again til 5.30 and again til 8 - sorry but that's a good night!

My DS is 12 weeks and last night slept 7.30 - 10.30 feed, 2.30 feed, 5.30 feed. It's normal.

I don't want to sound like I'm being harsh as I know broken sleep is shit but this is completely normal and actually better than a lot of others get. I know some three month olds who wake hourly.

LBOCS2 · 14/06/2016 09:51

OP, in the nicest possible way, you're aiming for the unachievable - you're setting yourself up for failure.

There may be babies who sleep a full 10 or 12 hrs at 3 months. I've never met or heard of them, but they may be around. At this age they are only just not a newborn. They need feeding regularly and comfort for you. The definition of 'sleeping through' is getting 5hrs on the trot, which you are getting.

Doing a dreamfeed at 10, then only being woken once before the morning is not bad at all. If you're not getting enough sleep then you need to go to bed earlier and ask your partner to take over the dreamfeed.

FWIW, I have an 8wk old (my second) who follows a similar pattern to yours. I don't know what I've done to be so lucky with sleep - my first was awake on the hour every hour for months, it almost broke me. You may want to look at changing your perception of sleep, it will help if you just go with it and aren't resenting the lack of sleep or the interruptions - makes it much easier to adapt to!

Salene · 14/06/2016 09:57

Sleeping through the night is classed as 5 hours sleep so your baby is sleeping through

Count yourself lucky my baby never slept more than 45-60minutes right up till 10 months and even now at 20 months I'm up 3-5 times a night with him he has always been a dreadful sleeper

I'd be delighted with what you are getting to be honest. I think your complaining about nothing.

Artandco · 14/06/2016 10:08

Why give up? You baby sleeps fine

9.30-3am is 5 1/2 hours sleep. You could have slept then also and had that unbroken

3-5.30 - 2 1/2 hrs

5.30-8am 2 1/2 hours.

Your baby is sleeping almost 10 1/2 hrs , just waking for a feed twice. Their stomach is still tiny so they need food more often.

An adult needs around 7 hrs sleep a night. With 5 1/2 hours continuous plus another 4 in between feeds you can easily be getting 7-9 hrs sleep a night

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 14/06/2016 12:43

My 11 month old last night slept 7-9.30, 10-12, 12.15-3, 3.30-5, 5-5.45. I'd take your night!

Maybebabybee · 14/06/2016 12:47

I'm actually glad this thread exists as I can well believe the OP when she says all her friends have 3 monthers who sleep through. All my NCT group except me apparently have these tooHmm

I get looks of sympathy when I say DS wakes up on average at 10.30, 3am and 5.30. I look at them like this Confused and say tbh I thought that was kind of what babies do!

Your body adjusts to the broken sleep after a while I think. Like pp have said it became way easier once I stopped fighting it, accepted it and let him do his thing.

I think there is a time and a place for sleep training. But three months is not it.

PotteringAlong · 14/06/2016 12:58

Yes, we know your baby wakes up in the middle of the night and we are all telling you that your baby is a really good sleeper. You don't need to give up. You do need to start listening.

orangebird69 · 14/06/2016 13:26

What Pottering said. But far more politely than I would have....

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 14/06/2016 13:40

Ps I'd kill for a solid 5 1/2 hours block of sleep.

orangebird69 · 14/06/2016 14:10

Grotbag me too!

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