Can I teach an 18m old to self settle? ?

[Zombiemama]

Dd is almost 18m doesn't know how to self settle because iv never let her! Reflux baby first time mum terrified of vomiting and choking etc so iv always lain with her to put her off to sleep.
This isn't so much a problem for me I love our snuggles and quiet time together but when she wakens in the night it's me she wants and she won't go back to sleep unless I put her in bed beside me.
Fully aware this is toaltally self inflicted and it's going to be tough but now I'm back working I know it will be good for us all if she moves into her own room and stays the full night in her cot

Any hints tips suggestions all greatly recieved success stories or will she still be in our bed at 12

Yes thats great zombie! Good luck in the nighy catlady! When does (s)he usually wake?

Pinkandwhite i kept my toddlers room dark its dimly lit for her story (just able to read the words on the page) then i say goodnight switch the light out and stand in the corner next to her door and trying not to make a noise if she moans or shouts out for me i normally say its ok im still here. It goes on for about 10 minutes then i hear her snoring lightly and i leave (i have to stay in as her door squeaks which is useful when shes trying to sneak out lol). I also keep the landing dark but only when im in the room but switch the night light on when im not there just incase she wakes up and happens to walk out (she sleepwalks sometimes)

Zombiemama the long walk definetly works good luck!

She wakes randomly basically. I normally lean over and put her dummy in and she's ok. Which was probably the worst move ever tbh!!

unintendedcatlady does she have a lovey? If not you could try giving her your tshirt that you've been wearing as she will like the smell of it and may be convinced that your still there and you could try shhhing from a distance?

Ooh cat lady hope the first night goes well. Dd slept fab the first night in her own room I didn't I worried the whole night... 3 nights of brilliant sleep then the first teeth appeared and that was it. She was in our bed then she just moved back to our room and we're still getting a random night visit from her.

Dp is in night duty tonight so I find it hard to sleep on his first night on so maybe I'll be more awake to deal with the settling in the cot.. Hopefully!!

We do the lean over to out dummy in but if she catches my arm that's it I'm stuck there to she's sound or she uses it to pull herself up to go to the bed lol

Hope everyone gets a peaceful night tonight

Good luck everyone hope it all works out for you all!

I hope the night is going well for everyone.

Welcome to the chat unintended.

Thanks for sharing what you do Amy. My dd took about 30 mins to fall asleep tonight with just my hand on her tummy. I need to work out how to get a bit further away from her without her getting up. She's in a bed already so annoyingly I don't have the benefit of her being contained in a cot.

Only saw your message until late Amy - will put something of mine in tomorrow.

How's it going everyone?

I'm up giving her a bottle. She normally has one about now, I figure at 7mo she still needs it? How do I know if it's just comfort & I should make her stop it?

I'm basically doing everything I can to avoid having another DD1 on my hands who didn't sleep through until at least 18mo!

Pinkandwhite - 30mins isn't bad to start with, hopefully after a few nights the time will cut right down.

Cat lady - My lo dropped her about about that time. As solids increase she will just stop needing it. Does she take a dummy?

Guess what?! She did 12 hours in her cor without a peep 😆😆 i bet she doesnt tonight now ive said it out loud!

Haha fairy I hate saying achievements out loud then that's the end of it all lol

That's fab though well done. Unintended Dd stopped night feeds around 5m she would sleep from 10pm to 8am

Fairy that's brilliant! Good work on your DD's part!

I'm convinced we can stop the 4am feed. Particularly as she had another bottle at 6am. This weekend when DD1 is at her dads we'll be going cold turkey!! Thanks.

Girls I almost caved tonight we were out dp is working iv loads to do for tomorrow so thought I'd cheat and put her to sleep in our bed. Well she had other ideas... she played and kissed cuddled me and sang climbed every direction to u asked if she wanted in the cot!! No fighting a few more songs and she is out for the count. Snoring away sweetly here.
Thank goodness one of us has sense lol just a pity it's the bay not the mummy haha

How is tonight going for all

Asleep in her cot again. Already cried but she had lost her dummy so it just took 10 seconds. Fingers crossed i wont hear from her until 7.30am again!
So shes out for the count in her own cot? Hope shes a good girl tonight 😊

Yes in her cot and I haven't heard a peep from her yet so far! Hope you get a good night. Dd she take long to go Over tonight?

Im currently losing ha! 10 minutes into tears so far. She went diwn in less than 2 mins with no tears at bedtime

No I'm losing I had to give up and she's now sideways across my bed again. She is so full of wind pains tonight

She went off half an hour ago in her cot and im wide awake tossing and turning! So frustrsting.

Fairy, Zombie how is it? DD just woke up. After much screaming I'm giving her a bottle but won't put her in my bed.

Asked DP for help after I'd been up exhausted for about half an hour. He just said put her in our bed. I'm so fucking cross - I realise it's the middle of the night so I'm irrational. Unsupportive shit. I have to do everything.

Argh. They've clearly teamed up to try us tonight!!

It always gets worse before it gets better!

We seen every half hour on the clock last night in the cot back out in out she had such a wee sore belly I felt awful shifting her back and forth I think we had about 2 hours solid sleep from around 5.30 and then she didn't want to waken up for childcare I am a zombie today literally.

Jeez Zombie. Sending positive thoughts for tonight! You must be exhausted.

Well up until a week ago my 19 month old had only ever slept in bed with me and husband is have to lie in bed with him up to 2 hours to get him to sleep

So we bought him a Thomas tank engine bed

First night I sat on bed with him and he was asleep within 20 minutes

Next night I sat on a chair next to him

He crys on and off and I sooth him

Sleeping again within 15/20 minutes

Next night I put chair otherwise of room and sneak out before he asleep

I keep doing this for a couple night and last 2/3 nights I've put him to bed and left him and he asleep himself within 15 minutes

I'm bloody amazed if I'm honest

I assumed he would scream place down blah blah but he has been good as gold

We speak about him being a big boy and going to bed with Thomas etc

I must add he does wake in night and appear at side of my bed about 4am and I let him in bed with me but I don't mind that.