Extending naps. .any advice.

[FifiFerusha]

Apologies. .seems I am a serial poster on here oops.

Anyway, my DS is almost 6 months. He has started self settling for most naps and bedtimes and will only cry if there is an issue(hunger, lost blanky) etc...I am soo pleased. However he is still a short napper regardless(about 40 mins really). Sometimes he has randomly gone longer than this. I don't know why.

So, when he gets to the transition what do I do? I don't want to go in and settle him myself as he may get used to this and stop self settling. He is a distracted baby and will only really feed on wake up in his room so sometimes I will go in and feed him at transition and he may go back to sleep for another 10 mins or so. He seems to be ok with a mixture of feeding to sleep and self settling but has started to get annoyed with any shhing and stroking now. I would really like to get him on a 2,3 then 4 hour wake up routine but he just isn't ready as his short naps means I can just about get away with putting him down after about 1 hour 50 ish of being awake and he is asleep usually 20 mins later. Has anyone had success trying to manipulate nap extension or should I just go with the flow and see if it happens naturally?

Also, what about wake to sleep? Tried it once and he woke right up very angry.

Cheers x

[Doboopedoo]

Seems like we have similar problems FiFi! I've started another post about the 4am wake up so I didn't completely derail yours so feel free to jump on there for any help.
It's a nightmare as I want her to have good naps in the cot (and not on me) but as it seems so closely linked to night sleep I don't want to upset things too much. DD has just gone down in cot for nap so will try your technique to try and resettle-fingers crossed x

[FATEdestiny]

Argh, another thing to wean him off

You say that, but I am 39 and love my white noise to sleep. In our house it is in the form of a bedside fan so involves air movement as well as the noise. I like it right by my head and all year round.

As a result of me liking a fan on at night and the fact that my children have been in my room until about 9 months, it means they all love a fan at night time too!

I dread to image what it does to my electricity bill, but can have up to five fans going all night. Even my two boys who share a bedroom have one fan each!

[Doboopedoo]

I use white noise too, the only annoying thing is Ewan the Sheep only lasts 20 minutes.
My resettling didn't work-I think I was a bit too late. She seems to only do 25 minutes if self settled in cot. I'll try again tomorrow...

[FifiFerusha]

Well, I feel better about the white noise thing now. But get this. I have a silly cube thing that plays white noise or lullabys and it goes off after ten minutes. You can imagine how annoying it is to keep timing every ten mins to switch it on and off as quickly as I can so DS doesn't notice. I put it at the bedroom door but is soo annoying at 4am. But, a fan, that is an idea. Might get a bit cold where I live though.

[FifiFerusha]

Also meant to add I go in about ten mins prior to when I think hea wakes up at the moment. Very boring hanging around in the dark. I think in a few days I will learn average time I guess. For some reason he slept for 2 hours this afternoon.not done that since newborn. Normally I would have to wake him by 3 to do school run at 3 but DP was home with man flu(I mean tummy ache)so I let him sleep. Keep going dopoobedoo.

[FATEdestiny]

Great news about the long nap. I hope they fully establish soon.

Regarding the fan - My DD11 likes the noise more than the breeze. She has her fan on her bedside table, but pointing away from her so she doesn't get cold.

[FifiFerusha]

Sorry, I will spell your name right, 'Doboopedoo'. Now, time to buy a fan . . .

[Doboopedoo]

Amazing nap success today FiFi - it's good to know that it can work and hopefully that can keep me going!
I keep meaning to look for an app or similar that will play the noise for longer, but then don't want to surrender my phone to DD bedroom!

[KP86]

If you have an old handset you can use that without a SIM at home. That's what we do for DS and we even have Spotify on there, using our wifi.

[Doboopedoo]

Help! We had such a rotten night sleep last night - lots of crying at 12 which only the dummy could sort, then waking every 45 minutes after that for replugging. Then wide awake at 450am! Gah.
I know I need to continue with the cot naps today, but the fact they are so short - this may be impacting on her night sleep. Did you have any effect on night sleep through this process FiFi? I know I need to get her sleeping somewhere other than me, and she does settle fine in the cot, but short naps and crap night sleep is robeing me if my enthusiasm for this....

[worriedmum100]

Hello I was over on dos other thread re 4am wakings. I had a very similar night with my 18 week old and it's been like that for weeks now. Despite being a zombie today I am determined to crack it as I'm at breaking point re sleep deprivation! I hadn't made the connection between short day naps and crap nightime sleeping before but have realised that he only naps for around 45 mins (an hour max). He also seems to be a light sleeper and very easily wakes (especially if his 4 year old brother is around).

So today I've tried this:

5.45 8 oz bottle

7.45 put down in pushchair for school run. Self settled straight to sleep.

9am woke up

10.30 bottle (late as was at weigh clinic would have done this at 10 otherwise)

11 down in cot with dummy. Fell asleep straight away.

12 woke crying. Tried to leave him but no good. Into room. Firm hand on legs. Dummy back in. He's clearly still tired. Nodded back off briefly them woke again so I repeated as above.

It's now 1 o clock and he's still asleep.

Does this sound like I'm heading along the right lines?

Plan is a bottle around 2.30 when he wakes then down again around 4 (should I do all naps in cot when at home or is bouncy chair in lounge ok?) when I'll aim at an hours nap. He then has a bath at 6.15 followed by bottle and bed by 6.45. He self settles really well at bedtime but just wakes every hour from midnight on....

If that all works he would have had a morning nap of an hour 1/4, lunchtime nap of 2 hours and afternoon nap of one hour.

Gosh that was long ... sorry!

[FATEdestiny]

worriedmum100 - I answered on the other thread.

he only naps for around 45 mins - Normal at 4 months old. In fact good, because 30-45 mins is normal.

What you want to watch at this age is time awake, not time asleep. Limit lime awake. I think your issues are more to do with over tiredness and possibly more frequent daytime feeds.

[FifiFerusha]

Hi,

Dos- sorry to hear about your bad night. Was that a dummy thing or do you think there was some kind of discomfort going on. Poor thing, bet he has been tired today. My DS has a cold :(. As he woke up in his way to tell me last night at 2 am. .wouldnt settle until 3.30 argh.

So far the longer naps have not altered the usual night wakings ie 4 am but he has stopped waking for DF bet. 9 and 11. I may experiment and leave it tonight but have it at ready for when he wakes. I think the longer naps mat take a while to affect NWs as he is probably having to get over a lot of accumulated OT. If it works like that.

I have had to be very nice about resettling with cuddles today as he is struggling to breath through his nose and isn't feeding well either. I will have to put the gradual retreat on hold for a few days until he gets better but he may get very used to it so more hard work ahead. So, he got 1.5 in the morning but only an hour in the afternoon so FtoS for a catnap( he resists this a lot) at 4.45 until 5.15( woke him up). He has struggled to get to bed because of this so not sure it was worth it. He has only just fell to sleep at 8(latest yet) and needed more cuddles. He is now snoring like trooper so dreading the night ahead.

Worriedmum( and you shouldn't be). It sounds like you had a great day of naps, and your LO settles so well. I would have loved my DS to be that good at sleeping at 18 weeks. It was at that time that I think FATE advised a one hour to 1 hr 30 wake up time between naps which made a big difference. However I got tripped up again when he developed and changed.

Let's hope we all get a good night's sleep x

[FATEdestiny]

Sorry your DS is poorly Fifi. It must be the time of year for it, my DD is really poorly too. She came in with me last night for cuddles. Tonight I spent half an hour lying on the bed in her room for reassurance while she went to sleep in her cot, I've not needed to do that for ages. I just tend to roll with whatever works when poorly.

Anyway - hope your DS is better soon x

[FifiFerusha]

Thank u FATE, good luck with your DD, hope she is better soon. Yes, will roll with it too but try the best I can with resettling. He and she will need all the sleep they can get x x x

[Doboopedoo]

Hope your little ones are both feeling better today FiFi and FATE.
I had no success resettling with the two cot naps I tried yesterday....so I didn't even attempt the lunchtime one, she slept on me for two hours.

However we did have a better night sleep last night, she didn't need dummy and I actually saw her wake up at 3am, roll around a bit then go back to sleep-amazing!

However, she was then wide awake at 4am....I think I've realised part of the reason for that - the bloody heating comes on then!! No idea why we set it so early but it's noisy and right underneath her room, so that's been changed - fingers crossed it helps.

I'm persevering with nap resettling and she's currently in the cot...wish me luck!

[FifiFerusha]

He's doig ok thank you. Resettled easily this morning but struggled this afternoon. spent 40 mins rocking him back to sleep but it worked. now have to go and wake him up for the school run. Think I am getting the timing of this nap wrong but have to make it work around life.

Dos- just a thought regarding nights. Will yours take a DF? You feed them in deep sleep so they really don't wake up and can just put them back down again. they don't tend to get very windy dream feeding either. I have done his since 8 weeks but unfortunately my ds started to wake for it. I skipped it last night though as he didnt and he woke at 3am. some babys really take to it though. it helped my DD sleep through from 4 months, a life saver x anyway just a thought...good luck...right off to wake him and rush off....oohhh :(

[Doboopedoo]

I haven't tried a dream feed - we used to have a wee routine where we woke her before our bedtime and fed her then but if not woken she didn't look for it so we stopped. I'm a bit wary if it as she has silent reflux and can get quite gassy after a feed so don't want her to be uncomfortable while sleeping.

I don't envy you having more than one (or FATE having four!!)think one is enough for me at this rate!

I still haven't managed a successful resettle but trying to be consistent with using the cot when I'm home so at least that's something!

[FifiFerusha]

Do- yes, DF isn't for all babys, still haven't worked out whether it helps mine :) How was your day today?

So, success, this morning i sat in his room and heard him go through transition but left him to it. He resettled, jolted, resettled, all by himself and had an hour and 25 min nap. Again am struggling with the afternoon nap on daily basis, as he takes so long to settle, up to 30 mins or so. i have tried putting him down, later or earlier, but makes no difference and then resettling is a struggle. It's possible bad timing on my part but I am trying to fit the naps in between school runs as he has resisted catnap since about 3 months and will not sleep in his pram.

This is roughly what happened today if anyone can see why the afternoon is a problem. it is possible that his awake times are too long but not sure how else to fit it in.

W 6.35
S- 9.15- 10.40 settled in five mins(wow). Long wake up i know but he will not sleep on the school run.
S 1.45- 2.55 -went up at 1.00(showing tired cues yawning, eye rubbing), so fed in room(he will not feed to sleep now so do it before naps so I can rule out hunger at transition) and hoped he would be asleep by about 1.20, no such luck
Fell asleep - 1.45 ( he self settled but didn't cry just blew raspberries and did his funny sleep mantra for ages)

Stirred- 2.20 ish, needed to be hugged, struggled with transfer to cot so he was up and down in between hugs, while sleeping until 2.55(good timing though as getting to the school after this by 3.15 is a military operation)
BT 18.40 - settled in about ten minutes

Tomorrow i have to play by ear as DD has a performance at school slap bang on time with DS's morning nap time( hope sling works..but guess what, he wont sleep in that now :)...wish me luck)

Sorry about constant posting...i am a bit too determined x

[Doboopedoo]

Determination is good FIFi, you're doing fantastically! I do struggle a bit with consistency if things aren't working so you are encouraging me to keep at it.
I haven't managed a successful resettle yet but came so close yesterday morning - I thought she was back to sleep again, then the eyes popped open, face went red - time for a poo So that didn't help matters....
I've got her in the cot just now (530 wake up so early nap), will try again shortly.
I still haven't cracked the 4am thing - it was 340am this morning....yawn!

[Doboopedoo]

I did it I did it I did it! I resettled her in cot! Nap is ongoing!!
(Fully aware this is just once but it's progress)
How long did it take you to be confident leaving DS FiFi to resettle himself?

[FifiFerusha]

yay,yay so pleased for you :) i have been at it for over a week I think and only left him yesterday but was in his room observing. Some of the time (afternoon nap) I pick him up and hug him back to sleep. In my mind I am just trying to get him used to the idea that a nap can be longer. It will take me more time this way but am trying to be patient(not easy) and do some kind of gradual withdrawal(whatever its called)...I think i have a few more weeks ahead of me as i think i may be inflicting him with a 7 month or so sleep routine.

today is one of those bad days..didn't sleep in sling at performance, couldnt self settle back home as over tired and slept on me for 20 mins,then bang, awake. he is now giggling at everything...don't know why he does this when he is over tired.....oh well, it cant always work out, tomorrow is a new day xxx

[Doboopedoo]

thanks FiFi, we haven't had a huge deal of success since then but she can do it so I will persevere! Some days you just need to write off, hope things have been better since then x

[FifiFerusha]

Argh, not so.

My advice now is not pick up and cuddle your DS to get through transition. As I said mine got poorly and kept up with this a big too long. Since that day of bad sleep he now will not settle without a cuddle and a rock, will neither transfer. So, am gonna have to scrap nap extending and go back to square one with helping him to settle. Am hoping he will remember quickly. Sometimes your on it and you get somewhere then it's back to the start again. Hope it was just a bad weekend. Fingers crossed( all that hard work arghhhhhhh)
X

[Doboopedoo]

Oh no! But at least you know he can do it and hopefully should get back into it quickly. I currently have DD asleep on me so I obviously struggle with consistency!!

How are you getting on with 4am wakings? I gave DD a muslin last night to play with and think she resettled herself when she woke then. Either that or she happily played with it for an hour which is when I woke up next!! Oops if that was the case....