Breastfeeding baby can't put down to sleep

[firsttimemum15]

I don't expect my 6 say old to sleep through the night by any means but I can't out her down to sleep at all. She will sleep after feeds but only on me or partner. She did not sleep for the standard 3 hours in hospital but would sleep in the cot. We've been home for two nights and for both of those I've been feeding at night pretty much constantly. I don't mind but when I put her down she's wakes and wants feeding.

I'm worried about Co sleeping and don't want to do it. I have a bedside crib but I think it's too big for her so have been using carry cot.
Also don't understand how bedside cot works. Babies are supposed to sleep with their feet at end of cot so have been putting her feet at the end towards my head.

Due to the way it had to be set up eg not level with our bed I'm unsure how to use this as an extension of our bed to feed her when we eventually get to that point.

Can anyone help. So many times I've questioned what I'm doing and why. Partner is v supportive

Swaddling isn't recommended anymore anyway. You can get the sleeping bags for tiny babies pretty cheaply, my youngest dd was in one from 3 days old and she was less than 7lbs.

Don't be overthinking in terms of creating habits etc. She's days old, she's no concept of habits! She wants to sleep on you because only days ago she was sleeping in you, and she misses it.

Swaddling isn't recommended anymore anyway

Where have you got that incorrect fact from? (I'm guessing an ill-informed health visitor)

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/swaddling-slings:

"Some believe swaddling young babies can help them settle to sleep. Whilst we do not advise for or against swaddling, we do urge parents to follow the advice below. If you decide to adopt swaddling, this should be done for each day and night time sleep as part of a regular routine:

-use thin materials
-do not swaddle above the shoulders
-never put a swaddled baby to sleep on their front
-not swaddle too tight
-check the baby's temperature to ensure they do not get too hot"

It's not an incorrect fact

www.nhs.uk/news/2013/10October/Pages/Swaddling-damages-babies-hips-expert-warns.aspx

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2404754/Can-swaddling-baby-like-Prince-George-raise-risk-cot-death.html

Janet Fyle, of the Royal College Of Midwives, says: 'A newborn is unable to regulate its own body temperature in the way an adult can. That's why the current advice for mothers is not to wrap their babies tightly or in heavy blankets, especially in warm weather. And a blanket should never be added to a swaddled baby.

Professor Nicholas Clarke, a consultant orthopaedic surgeon at Southampton General Hospital, is firmly in the anti-swaddle camp. He says: 'We saw a huge resurgence in swaddling in 2011, generated by the suggestion it could ease colic (a condition where very young babies cry uncontrollably for no apparent reason), though I’ve seen no evidence to support this

That spike in popularity linked directly to an increase in the number of babies I saw with hip dysplasia - where the bones of the hip joint are not aligned correctly

A 2009 study carried out by the universities of Bristol and Warwick indicated an increased risk of cot death in babies who were swaddled
Of the group of infants in the study who succumbed to cot death between 2003 and 2006, 24 per cent were swaddled, compared with 6 per cent in a control group of healthy babies

www.rcm.org.uk/content/midwives-advise-parents-to-avoid-swaddling-28-10-13

In short, the Royal College of Midwives, the NCT, and the NHS no longer advise parents to swaddle babies.

For goodness sake TheSecondViola. Have you actually read the whole of that NHS article (which was written in direct response to the DM article)?

Or were you just googling in a vain attempt to look slightly less foolish and not have to admit you were wrong?

What is the whole point of the NHS article? It is to explain why the NHS has chosen to ignore Professor Clarke's research that was quoted in the media.

Have you read all the way to the summary? Shall I copy and paste the NHS's conclusion:

"While the decision to swaddle may be influenced by parents' or carers' personal beliefs and cultural practices, it appears to be generally recommended that if parents or carers choose to swaddle their baby, the baby should not be swaddled too tightly, still giving their hips and knees room to move freely."

This does not say the NHS does not recommend swaddling.

Condescending wagon.

Elsewhere, the NHS clearly states they no longer recommend swaddling. So does the RCM. So does pretty much everyone else. I credited you with the intelligence to discover that for yourself. I apologise wholeheartedly for overestimating you.

www.express.co.uk/news/uk/133857/1-in-4-cot-deaths-linked-to-swaddling-of-babies

I will change the advise I give the moment the NHS change their guidelines. For now, neither the NHS nor the Lullaby Trust recommend against swaddling.

"Swaddling isn't recommended anymore anyway" is an incorrect fact.

Do bore off.

OP - congratulations. You may want to read up about the 4th trimester, which certainly helped me when understanding a newborn and why they only liked to sleep on me etc. It does get easier

OP

Do whatever works. It sounds like the feeding is going well, well done.

If she will sleep ok next to you then sleep like that. (Make sure no duvet or pillows near her). Loads of peole do this for the early days. Your body warmth will keep her warm, a thin blanket or swaddle wrapped round her if it's cold in the room. Swaddling is fine if not too tight.

Don't worry about bad habits. She is a few days old. It is normal for her to want to be on or next to you at this stage. By next week or the week after you may well find she can sleep in the co sleeper crib. Then a few weeks later she may be happy in her own separate cot. The point is, things change quickly at this age so don't fret too much about getting it "right", just do whatever works for now.

I think the Chicco bedside cot is slightly different from some other co-sleepers which attach to the bed at the same level and create a kind of mattress extension. From what I can see the Chicco has a small cot side between your mattress and the baby? If so then it isn't possible I would have thought to Bf baby while they are in the cot, unless you've got long hand very flexible boobs!

Second the gro snug. We used one here as dd kept on waving her arms about. It meant I could swaddle one arm but leave the other free so she could signal for hunger (hand in mouth)

Also babies are often knackered from the birth and take a few days to get over it, hence why they're happy to go in the hospital crib but not when you get home!

I just googled the gro snug because I've never seen one, watched the video here - genius product!

I used to use a cot sheet ripped in half along the short edge to make two long, thin rectangles. Cheaper, but I probably would have bought a grosnug if I was doing it all again

I apologise firsttimemum15 for going off tangent on your thread there.

The term "babymoon" has changed it's meaning over the last decade. I remember when I had my first child (she's 11 now) I was advised to have a week's "babymoon" following her birth. Like the Honeymoon when you get some time immediately following your marriage to focus solely on your spouse, a babymoon is a time where you only have eyes for your baby.

I was advised to retire to my bedroom for the week. Expect to be waited on hand-and-foot with all requests of food, drinks etc. Don't have any responsibilities in the house, no jobs to do, places to go or people to see (although visitors to your bed are welcome, as long as they expect nothing from you). Just you and baby. Feeding and sleeping together. Always together, nothing else matters.

Why not have yourself a babymoon...?

Not sure I understand about putting them down either way depending on which boob. Either way at the moment I have to get 9ut of bed to put her in it. But she won't sleep in it anyway. Hence why she slept next to me last night.

Like someone said I am just doing what seems right for now. I don't seem very good at swaddling so it's not tight.

I haven't read the articles posted and not just I follow the disagreement posted. I don't keep her arms in because she likes to move them. It doesn't have a zip on. Think I'd be too worried to use a sleeping bag. Are the generally recommended at this age?

Thanks to everyone who has posted. X

Do a google image search for the Chico next to me and it'll show you how to have it.

Sleeping bags are fine as long as thus have poppers under the arms to stop them riding up (some supermarket ones don't have these). The gro snug is lovely and only goes up to 12 lbs anyway so yes is fine to use

Hi firsttime
Haven't read all the posts about the co sleeper but wanted to check in and see how the weigh in went today and How you are doing?

I think it's more about weight using a sleeping bag. We used a gro bag from 10lbs if I recall correctly. Used cellular blankets until then. We didn't swaddle as such but lay dd's of top of one blanket and then wrapped them up in it - not tight but not too loose. Then we put another blanket on top and tucked it in well at the bottom and sides of the mattress. Neither of my babies liked their arms completely wrapped and one wee arm would always come out.

DD was like that. Would only sleep on me or DP. She HATED being swaddled. Ended up co-sleeping which I didn't like. After 4 weeks we got a Sleepyhead. It was hands down the best baby product we purchased.

Thanks for checking Haverina. I came on to post again.

Her weight has decreased again. I was beside myself but midwife put me on a feeding plan. Feed the express. Feed the express. Tonight she drank both boobs almost dry so there wasn't anything to express. I am trying to top her up with expressed milk. She was still hungry so we decided to top her up with formula. Heartbreaking both to watch her drink formula and take a bottle. Never thought I'd be like this.

But in my heart of hearts I know the most important thing is that she starts to gain weight. I'm so upset she lost weight. I really felt like we had a better night last night. So for now. Less worry about sleeping arrangements and more about increasing my milk, getting my gorgeous girl to put on weight and get back to feeding from me.

Spoke to midwife today about swaddling and she didn't seem to see a problem with what I'm doing strictly speaking I'm not swaddling her tightly.

Can you get to a breastfeeding group? They can heck your latch to make sure she's taking enough and give advice about increasing supply. I have a friend who used a supplement system so they're attached for the nipple while they take formula so the breast is stimulated still. Medela do one if you're interested.

Make sure you get lots of skin to skin, eat oats like porridge and hobnobs as these increase your supply. There's also certain teas and other foods that increase supply and make sure you're eating and drinking well in general. If you follow the feed and express regime you will be able to get your supply up. You're doing so well!

kellymom.com/hot-topics/low-supply/

Had a good day today. She gained 2oz. BF midwife said shed usually only expect to see a gain of 1oz. That's positive.

It's still killing me to see her take bottles for top ups either breast milk or small amounts of formula but she does seem to prefer the boob.

Expressing seemed great this Am got of 20mls per pump but this eve I only get between a few mls and 10mls. I find it disheartening I'd like to see more coming off.

Going to ask breastfeeding support and specialist midwife about the device mentioned. I'd already seen something about thus on a be website and found them on Amazon. Will see what the advice is...

Can I suggest you contact someone like la letche league op. I can't comment on your midwife personally but midwives and HV's often get very little BF training and their only aim is to see your baby put on weight as quickly as possible. Whilst I'm not denying it's important for your baby to gain weight if BF is something you want to do it makes sense to have a plan that makes it as successful as possible

I second the babymoon recommendation. It can do wonders for your milk supply and will mean you get some rest

Home start are Bf support they've been brill. I've had visits from them and will be ringing this morning again.

We are spending the day skin to skin just the three of us

Home starts plan agreed with the midwifes plan. So I am being told the same thing

Aw, spending the day all snuggled up sounds perfect. And seconding all those who've said it's totally normal that baby only wants to sleep on you - like someone else, at that stage DH and I took shifts, so I'd go to bed early and he'd stay up with the baby and wake me for feeds, then we'd switch over in the early hours and he'd have a bit of a lie in.

I know baby doesn't want to sleep in it just yet, but are you still struggling with the cot stuff? Just in case it helps clarify things: I have a cosleeping cot but have never fed the baby in it; I scoop him up and pull him over to me (main advantage being I don't have to get out of bed!). I mostly put him with his head at my head end and feet at my feet end - but exactly as you say, feet to foot, which means that he lies with his feet roughly level with my waist and his head roughly level with my boobs/shoulders. As he gets longer, eventually his head will be level with the pillows and the top of my bed.

Great news that you've got a solid plan in place; sounds like you're doing all the right things and you've got excellent support. Well done! I'm only a few weeks ahead of you and I already miss the tiny squishy newborn days :) enjoy it, you're doing brilliantly!