Seriously what kind of baby have I got? (Am typing from car as I've run out of house for fear of hurting the baby)

[crystalgall]

Am sat crying in the car. Have abandoned DD with DH and an overtired 4 yr old DS.

She is 9 weeks and I'm exhausted.

For the first 7 weeks she had to do all her naps in arms. Sling maybe but not always.

Nights she manages the Moses basket for half the night and wakes every two hours. Not to feed every time though as she will only take 1-2oz

Has to be rocked and rocked and rocked for fucking ages before she will sleep. She will drop off and the suddenly eyes will snap open.

Screams in the car seat.

Take her for a walk in the buggy. She is wide awake for over an hour and then may drop off for 20 mins.

Seems
Constantly tired. Manages less than an hour before grumbling and acting tired again. I seem to spend all day and all night trying to put her to sleep.

Doesn't drink formula properly. I'm
Making 5oz bottles by she manages Maybe 2-3 oz at a time. Then maybe again a little after 30 mins. But acts hungry.

Sometimes screams while having the bottle. ( I think when she's overtired)

I wouldn't mind co sleeping but even that is a pain. She spent over an hour settling last night. That was after 45 mins of rocking sitting up hoping to get her in basket. I gave up and took her to bed but had another hour of fussing

I can't bear to hold her anymore. She just fusses and fusses. It's not nice cuddling to sleep. It's face rubbing all over me, legs flailing, dummy falling in and out.
She is swaddled.

Is she a high needs baby? I just don't know what to do. It's 9 and I've been trying to get her to sleep since 7. She is clearly tired but fighting it every inch.

DS used to self settle from 4 weeks! I used to put him in the basket and he would chat himself
To sleep!

Logging the milk intake and bowel movements is what I meant

Vowel movements would be terribly impressive

This was me a couple of months ago, DD2 didn't have reflux but just wanted to be cuddled and held constantly. Didn't sleep at night. Didn't nap in the day. Once going 28 hours with only a nap. We muddled through and then suddenly at 3 1/2 months she started sleeping through and now at 6 months is a gorgeous content little thing. Keep going, get all the advice you can and make DH step up to give you support

Re the advice on sleep training - this is a controversial one and each to their own, naturally - but please remember we are taking about a 9 week old not a 6 month old or older... No-one would recommend sleep training a 9 week old (I hope!) so talking about different sleep training methods in this thread is not ideal. Good luck for tonight OP and get to a GP tomorrow if you can.

My daughter didn't ever vomit, it was silent reflux

I think you've had good advice already op and this reminded me of dd as a baby. looking back in our case I think she was in pain as had undiagnosed allergies and I wish i'd had mumsnet as might have realised it wasn't normal. She had lots of diarrhea / nappy rash too and was sick all the time. She woke constantly throughout the night.
We held her almost all the time and in a way that supported her little tummy as it was the only way to soothe her, it was exhausting and upsets me to remember (she's now so tall and cheerful and thriving so I hope no lasting affects but it can be so tough )

I do hope you find the cause and that it gets better .

Hope you can get in to see the GP or at the very least HV tomorrow.

Just thought I should add that I was extremely sceptical about the osteopath, but truly gobsmacked at the results. So much so I went myself and he fixed my SPD, which I'd had through two pregnancies and as a result had none of in my third. Then, a couple of years later he also cured dh's really nasty case of Labrynthitis (sp?).

It's so gentle you hardly know they're touching you, so not at all invasive or painful. I haven't a clue how it works, but dh was impressed enough to consider going back to uni and training to be an osteopath himself. (We couldn't afford it at the time, but he still hopes to do it one day.)

When is your DH off for Christmas? I think you both need to take turns getting her to sleep so each of you gets some time to recover. He can't opt out, he's a parent too and he is as capable of getting her to sleep as you are. Sounds like you are totally shattered and have lost the ability to think (been there done that mother of 3 here).

Agree with others, speak to a HCP about silent reflux/CMPA. DS has a CMPA, luckily he was BF so we didn't have any issues until he was weaned but BIL also had it and MIL had a nightmare identifying it (this was obviously pre-internet but also pre-awareness that infants could be allergic to milk).

I'd say reflux. My son had it but I didn't realise at the time. Go to gp and insist they help

Really reminds me of DD1 (who had tongue tie) not that that's what your DD has but wanted to add to the calls of seeing the GP in case it's that/cmpa/reflux/all three.

Having had another baby since who is a not brilliant but 'normal' sleeper, I don't buy any of this 'it's normal baby behaviour' stuff. It's not. Being woken up = normal, a baby who never settles in car/pram/bed/ever! isn't.

and for you, I can't imagine doing it again with an older one too.

I'd hit the gp

dd wouldn't sleep very well as a baby. her tummy was bloated she wouldn't feed properly. she screamed blue murder sometimes.lying on her back. she wasn't sick however she was clearly in pain. wouldn't sleep on her back longer than 40 mins and that was absolute max.

she also had a strong startle reflex and woke herself up with it all the time.

turned out she was intolerant to the milk protein and was only comfortable on her tummy.

one prescription milk, and abandoning back sleeping, later, completely different baby.

book a double appointment. one for you make sure your not in any early stages of PND and one for your baby

And yy to all this normalising not sleeping.

it's not normal

something is wrong. babies grow out of reflux and allergies and get used to the pain.of other things. just because things stop doesn't mean there wasn't something wrong to start with

Things that helped my little boy (in no particular order)

1. GP - I also suspect silent reflux based on what you've said. May need special milk too.

1. White Noise in her room when she sleeps. Just put White Noise into Youtube - and whack on laptop/tablet/phone whatever. Put on quite loud! It's incredibly restful (we had waves crashing) and we also slept better.

1. Raise the moses mattress - we got a Clevamama Wedge (amazing) and just used without the roll bar bits.

1. Keep upright after a feed for at least 30 minutes.

1. Cranial Osteopathy - AMAZING. Cannot recommend highly enough. If you're in the North West, pm me for a fab lady who specialises in newborns. You will see a difference immediately. If I have another baby, I will be taking them from birth regardless. Miracle workers. Wish I'd taken him sooner, he was 9 weeks before I went.

1. Put down to sleep every two hours. Do not let them stay in the main room (watching all that's going on!) for any longer than this. Get in routine of putting down whether they look tired or not. She sounds classically overtired. Put in darkened room, let her fuss a little bit before you go in for a forehead stroke etc. Put down in the same bed - be it a moses or a cot. These babies can't be dragged around, they need routine (sadly) Is your older daughter at school?

1. Start (if you haven't already) routine of feeds at 7,11,3,7,11. Feed last at night at 11pm, hopefully she will sleep til about 3am, then again til 7. Then, when they do start managing a 6 hr stretch, they will drop the 3am feed and you will get a decent midnight til 6/7am stretch. I firmly believe you can train them to do this if you start early enough!

My daughter was nearly as bad, but my son brought me to my knees! I have given the above list to two other desperate friends and they've all just gone THANK YOU. I might add, I got all of the tips off MN in the first place Saving you the trawling for the threads!

Thanks all. Doctor has prescribed nfant gavjscon.

Last night was the worst. Totally out of the ordinary. She screamed and cried on and off
For two hours. Then woke every hour from 10 onwards until 3 when she finally fed (hadnt had milk since 7 despite trying). Then up again at 5 and 6 then 9am. She was just restless and crying. I was actually considering a&e because u thought she must be hurt or something. However she was fine in the morning and GP
Did full check up and she seemed fine so just the gavjscon.

It panicked me though and I can't think what must have been going on. Hope it was a one off because I am
On my knees today.
Finger crossed the gavjscon works

Glad you saw the doctor, hope the gaviscon works for you! There are other things that they can try if it doesn't though so don't give up hope

I don't know what kind of baby you have she sounds a horror, bless her but you need a night off. Who can take her just for one night to let you get some sleep?

DH is here but just can't seem to settle her like I can. And even I can't settle her often (like last njght) and I'm with her all day so I can see how it would be even harder for him.

Am trying to get her to nap right now and even lying in bed with her is a fight. She needs the dummy constantly and the bloody thing keeps falling out. Thought I could nap with her. Fat chance.

Will try and get DH to do some holding tonight but I won't sleep through the cryjnf

You have done the right thing to have a bit of time out. God it's hard work isn't it. Calm her down so you can swaddle her, swaddle will reduce her arms waving about waking her up, play white noise and then rock. We normally stroke our boys head and down over his nose which helps him drift off while rocking. Hold her for 30 mins after falls asleep then make the transfer. Keep the white noise on and quite loud. Prob best to do all this in the room she sleeps in so you haven't got far to go once she is asleep. We have the iPad playing white noise on bedside table not far from crib.

Hang in there. She is still so very little and the first few months are so so tough. I've had three children and remember having some desperate days with all three of them, be it lack of sleep, feeding issues, refusal to nap etc etc.
It sounds like you are having a tough time - has the gaviscon made any difference? I know this is really difficult but try and stay as calm as you possibly can, babies pick up on tension, stress and anxiety and will react badly to it. You need a good break to get some sleep - can you and your DH take it in turn to do 'sleep shifts' this weekend so you can at least get a few hours of sleep? Being sleep deprived is like torture - mixed with all the other emotions and hormones it's an awful way to feel. At 9 weeks none of my children took more than 4 or 5 oz of milk each feed. I could never understand how some people managed to get their babies to have a 7oz feed so I think it's perfectly normal to be having small quantities of milk at this stage.
Good luck over the weekend. I hope the gaviscon helps. You could try changing the formula too - it does sometimes make a difference.

Well she doesn't settle anyway, so she may as well be unsettled with him, just for one night. Can you book into a hotel?

Just so you know infant gaviscon took about 4 days to show any improvement with my little boy but my god did I then have a different baby. Sounds like silent reflux to me. I hope things get easier for you.

Sounds like my Ds 8 years ago and I still remember how bloody awful it is. Now pregnant with number 3 and terrified I'll get another one like him.

I disagree it's normal newborn behaviour, it's not. It's normal for tiny babies to want to be cuddled all the time yes, it's normal for them to take small feeds, it's normal for them to wake if put down to an extent, but this is not what I experienced, nor what the op is describing.

A baby that is always rigid, never relaxes into a cuddle, screams and arches 24/7, doesn't sleep ever just doze wake doze wake isn't normal. It does sound like reflux or an intolerance.

Op I hope the gaviscon works, if not go back. I was fobbed off by a (useless) gp who said if gaviscon didn't work it wasn't reflux. I was too exhausted to argue.

I couldn't afford cranial osteopathy but wish I'd been able to.

I had one friend who had the magic touch and she saved me. I used to go to her house most days and just sit whilst she somehow got the baby to sleep. I'm eternally grateful to her.