Seriously what kind of baby have I got? (Am typing from car as I've run out of house for fear of hurting the baby)

[crystalgall]

Am sat crying in the car. Have abandoned DD with DH and an overtired 4 yr old DS.

She is 9 weeks and I'm exhausted.

For the first 7 weeks she had to do all her naps in arms. Sling maybe but not always.

Nights she manages the Moses basket for half the night and wakes every two hours. Not to feed every time though as she will only take 1-2oz

Has to be rocked and rocked and rocked for fucking ages before she will sleep. She will drop off and the suddenly eyes will snap open.

Screams in the car seat.

Take her for a walk in the buggy. She is wide awake for over an hour and then may drop off for 20 mins.

Seems
Constantly tired. Manages less than an hour before grumbling and acting tired again. I seem to spend all day and all night trying to put her to sleep.

Doesn't drink formula properly. I'm
Making 5oz bottles by she manages Maybe 2-3 oz at a time. Then maybe again a little after 30 mins. But acts hungry.

Sometimes screams while having the bottle. ( I think when she's overtired)

I wouldn't mind co sleeping but even that is a pain. She spent over an hour settling last night. That was after 45 mins of rocking sitting up hoping to get her in basket. I gave up and took her to bed but had another hour of fussing

I can't bear to hold her anymore. She just fusses and fusses. It's not nice cuddling to sleep. It's face rubbing all over me, legs flailing, dummy falling in and out.
She is swaddled.

Is she a high needs baby? I just don't know what to do. It's 9 and I've been trying to get her to sleep since 7. She is clearly tired but fighting it every inch.

DS used to self settle from 4 weeks! I used to put him in the basket and he would chat himself
To sleep!

Sounds like silent reflux or milk allergy to me. I would get a checkup. In my experience it is not normal for the crying to be so extreme. I also second a swinging chair. Keeps them upright and rocks them. It was a godsend for us with DD who had reflux. We called it the magic chair...

Just to answer a few points.

I've done all the usual tips about trying to make Moses basket amenable to no avail.

I'm trying all techniques to get her to nap in day because she just seems so damn tired all the time. I don't care where she naps as long as she sleeps somewhere. (But not in my arms. I've got a 4 yr old to run around after)

God why won't she sleep?! She is lying here eyes closed sucking the dummy and every few minutes will
Jiggle about and kick her legs. This will go on and on and on. No crying

The minute I lie her down in the bed her eyes will snap open. Will be sleeping sitting up with a 12Ib baby across my chest I think tonight.

I honestly think she has reflux OP. You are describing my daughter 6 months ago. Do what you need to do to get through tonight and get to the GP tomorrow.

How's the weight gain? What does your health visitor say? Have you been to GP?

My DS was like this for the first couple of months - I took him to a cranial osteopath and the difference was amazing, he is now 5 months and a chilled out chap. Worth a try perhaps. We also have a Sleepyhead mattress which is great (expensive though!).

Sounds like classic reflux to me too

Has she been checked for tongue tie? Tongue tie and or reflux could cause this.

Come and join our high needs support thread if you like xx

Looks like her stomach is hurting one way or the other. Best to check with GP. My second son never napped properly ever. Woke me up every hour or so for the first three months and I was crazy as hell and looked like it too. A toddler and a baby is hard work. And both babies are different. Give yourself some quality time too if you can manage. Hopefully the GP will find the exact reason. lots of hugs to you and kind words for your husband. Xxxx

Ds was like this, 11 years ago. He just didn't sleep, constant fussing & I recognise what you say about not relaxing into a cuddle, just flailing about, constantly 'on'. I did controlled crying I'm afraid & it worked. It was either that or I would've walked out or dumped him somewhere. At 10 months he jumped up on his feet, charging about, slept very well then! He is an amazing boy can't believe I was desperate enough at one point to consider leaving him

Definitely get her checked out for reflux, but also maybe consider cranial osteopathy.

Ds1 was very similar for the first few weeks, someone recommended we took him to a local osteopath and he was honestly a different baby after the first session. We brought him home and he slept for hours, which the osteopath said is a typical response. I think he had a course 6 sessions in all, but after the first he was massively improved and following the session had settled right down to the point we nearly didn't complete the course (we did, as we desperately didn't want him to go back to how he was before). He actually ended up being a really easy laid-back baby and is still an absolute sweetheart at 11 years old.

Oh, I've just noticed I've cross posted with LovelyWeather, will press post anyway because it made such a huge difference to ds2 and imo is definitely worth a try.

I really feel for you. I was on my knees when ds was like that. Hope you find something that helps and get some respite soon.

I left her to cry tonight for 5 minutes and she was insanely hysterical. I don't understand all this going in and shh patting and sleep training etc either. When she's awake she's awake be it 2
In the afternoon or 4am. She never wakes up drowsy just 'on' totally

She's having her first immunisation tomorrow. God know how that will affect her

Crystal gal......please get in touch with your health visitor asap.....first thing tomorrow would be best.
Sleep deprivation does weird things to our heads, and having a baby who won't settle just makes it worse.
I am quite sure she is perfectly fine, so please don't worry about that. But all babies are different, and all of them settle( or not) differently.
Second babies are hard....if only because we are already knackered out looking after the first one and sometimes we just need a Nudge in the direction of a different approach.
You sound absolutely shattered, and totally overwhelmed( in fact, just like a second time round mum), but please know, it gets better, you will cope, and your little family will be fine.

But I will also make apt to see GP. I did t think reflux because she's not bringing any milk up at all. She either just doesn't seem very hungry or is suddenly ravenous but will still
Only
Drink a little.

Again DS was a bottle fiend amd easy that way. He had colic though despite amazing night sleeps.

Thanks to everyone who's posted.

You have my sympathies. Mine was the same. Was reflux and dairy allergy. Please go to the GP tomorrow as it sounds very similar. Don't feel like you're being a fussy mum this isn't normal

At 9 weeks a baby can't possibly understand night and day. For 9 months she's been tucked away safe and secure from loud noises, bright lights and now all of a sudden she's here and not having constant contact with you, having to get used to learning to feed and gas pains etc, she sounds completely normal! It is hard but it will pass, like everything.

She's finally in a deeper sleep (still
Not
Completely)

I am
Sat up and she is crushing my tummy (and c sec scar). Going to try and inch down and place her beside me
And pray she doesn't wake.

Dd2 would fidget, rub her face on me really hard, never feed for long, wake up half an hour later screaming. Took her to a cranial osteopath and like other posters on here - left with a different baby. No idea what they do or if it was coincidence but I was so desperate I was willing to give anything a try.

I don't understand all this going in and shh patting and sleep training etc either
It just taught him how to drop off by himself. Once he'd mastered it at night he started doing it in his buggy too. It's like he was fighting the sleepy sensation but after cc he got sleepy, went to sleep.

Sympathy The 'silent' bit of silent reflux is the not vomiting. DS had ordinary reflux with milk everywhere. We had ranitidine which helped and he also slept much better on his front (with a breathing monitor)
Get to the GP pronto.

Op, my dd ended up hospitalised and tube fed a weeks old with reflux but she rarely ever vomited. Everything about your dc's symptoms suggests reflux with ir without milk protein intolerance.

I found keeling a lot of milk intake, vowel movements and sleep extremely helpful when I did go to the GP. They need solid symptoms beyond the base "he or she never sleeps"

Whatever is going on I wish you all the best