I can't do it anymore

[TychosNose]

Ds is 21 months and still wakes every 2 hours for a feed.

Tried not feeding - he just screamed for hours then slept for 10 mins then screamed again. For three nights. Then I gave up.

I have nothing left. I'm totally broken.
I get so cross with him. We're sitting in his room now both crying because he's refusing to nap. We spend a lot of time sitting in his room crying.

It's a living hell and I don't know what to do. I feel so bitter that I never ever get any proper sleep. It's such a miserable existence.

I'm feeling really sorry for myself and desperate today.

Don't expect anyone to have an answer just needed to have a whinge and I have no one in rl to complain to.

[LeaLeander]

Sorry if I seemed harsh but sitting around hand-wringing isn't going to change the situation. Of OP wants her life to change she is going to have to make changes.
Maybe the kid is up so often because he is hungry! I've seen 2 year olds put away a lot of chow!
Why on earth is this one "barely eating solids"? If that's all he were offered I assure you he would eat and probably enjoy it. Maybe a full tummy and his own bed would help him get some rest.
What does your husband say about this situation?

[LeaLeander]

I just looked at HealthyChildren.org and it said by age two a child should be eating three meals a day plus one or two snacks.

Suggested foods include cheese, veggies, nuts, eggs, peanut butter, fruit, meat -- pretty much everything.
Op, why is your child not yet eating solids?

[Artistic]

I agree with someone above who said to slow down on bf & allow solids to increase. Almost all bad sleepers show improvement as solids increase so your DS is possibly too hungry all the time and hence bf & not sleeping. Give up 48 hours of your current peace to get much more peace after that. When a child is hungry he will eat if he has nothing else!

[Queendedede]

My 19mo eats three huge meals a day, plus snacks, plus 2 cups of milk, sleeps in his own bed, self settles at bedtime but still wakes multiple times at night. I don't disagree that cutting down on the breast feeding will help and is a good start but it might not be the complete solution..... I'm still looking for that!

[TychosNose]

Thank you queen your replies are very much appreciated.

nutcracker It's really hard isn't it?

artistic there's no peace in the current situation.

[CharmingChampignon]

Can your DH take some time off or change his hours v temporarily? the only way we changed things was for DH to take over the settling. Once we did that, it didn't take long for sleep to improve drastically. I actually fed to 3.5 because I didn't resent it once I was getting some sleep.

[TychosNose]

Thanks for your reply champignon
Dh can't take time off. He has in the past to try and help but no improvement.

[LeaLeander]

So in other words you are unwilling to take any suggestions for a possible solution. The self gratification of being your two year old child's only source of nutrition is more important than him getting the proper feed and sound, independent sleep habits. That's what it looks like from here anyway.

[Queendedede]

The OP did mention in her original post that she wasn't wanting advice, just a moan as there isn't anyone she can moan to in RL.
So excuse her if she disregards the advice she didn't actually ask for. I'm sure she knows full well where things have gone wrong and what to do to sort things out. But this will be very hard work and maybe she isn't ready mentally to deal with the fallout right now.
If you can't post nice responses then don't post at all

[LeaLeander]

It's distressing to think of a toddler so hungry he cannot sleep. Which is very likely the situation here. "Feed your kid!" Is a reminder of basic common sense, parental responsibility and human decency, not advise

[spondulix]

Poor thing, he must be starving. My dd is the same age, she's a dainty little thing and eats like a rugby player. I can't imagine her surviving on just milk.

I think you know what needs to be done. It's just a question of steeling yourself and doing it.

[Queendedede]

If he was starving he would eat food offered to him surely? I do completely see where you are coming from and do agree, I just don't think it was the angle OP was after. As she previously mentioned, she feels bad enough as it is and just needed a place to vent not to be given basic common sense or be lectured about parental responsibility.

Also, as previously mentioned, my 19mo wakes multiple times a night but definitely not due to hunger, so you can't presume that is all this boils down to....

[SleepForTheWeak]

We also used Ann Caird, the sleep consultant. I honestly doubted my DD would ever go longer than 2 hours between feeds at night but she's now sleeping 11/12 hours a night with no feeds. It was nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be, DH was heavily involved in this process, it must be hard if you are alone during the night

[Rinceoir]

OP I really feel for you. My DD was a nightmare to wean onto solids. Lea it's very hard to just decide to stop breastfeeding. People who have children who are easy to wean, happy to drink milk from a cup or generally are just not that bothered about breastfeeding don't necessarily understand how difficult it can be. My DD only started eating well a few weeks ago, and she's 19months now. She still loves to breastfeed however, and I do have to put gentle limits on it. I've taken ideas from all over. I would definitely suggest you start by night weaning. My DD just night weaned herself luckily but I had planned to do it over the next few weeks. I would start by distracting and extending time between feeds. Set a period of a few hours to start with. There will be tears but you'll still be with him. I planned to do a gentler form of Jay Gordon's technique. I would also suggest joining a closed Facebook extended breastfeeding/breastfeeding toddlers group- you may get some good gentle advice there, or at least people will be more receptive to you just having a moan!