sleep training / CIO hold my hand??

[FusionChefGeoff]

God, decided to do this last night. Always said I wouldn't but DC2 just can't settle if she wakes and I feel she needs to learn and I need some reliable and decent sleep! She's 1 and goes off fine with a bit of a cuddle but really struggles if she wakes up.

Last night she woke about 11.30. I gave up trying to settle her about 12.15 and just let her cry . She was fed, warm, dry nappy, had calpol so felt there was nothing I could do. She must have gone off about 1.30.

Went down well tonight but up at 22.00 so I went in once to check all ok, shushed and patted for about 5 mins then left. She has been on and off furious since. Gaps between shouting / screaming and silence are getting longer but she's still going.

Can you give me some tips / support or tales of success please??!!

I shouldn't go into her now, should I as it will make it all worthless...?

They are really great posts, thanks. And I appreciate your understanding. My DD (not the same as the OP) just wakes when she is put into her cot. And screams. And screams and screams until she is picked up. Then stops immediately. Then screams and screams. The only thing that stops her is sleeping on me/ in our bed. I can't get into her cot, obviously. She can fall asleep anywhere- but she will always wake up and start screaming the second she is lowered into her cot. I don't think that's that unusual. But I personally, can't think of anything else to try. I mean, there aren't that many things you can try are there?

You let her cry for an hour and 15mins? she's 1! She probably just wanted her mum and a cuddle.

Alice thank you very much for saying that and I appreciate your equanimity. I think we are on the same side when it comes down to it.

No one likes hearing their baby cry.

The only thing I can think of is to leave her in your bed once she is asleep, and you get up and go and sleep elsewhere - spare bed? Sofabed?

It's not ideal but it might be a useful temporary solution...sorry it isn't much cop is it. I don't think you would be a martyr to have her in your bed though, that's not how I see it anyway.

Alice my dd was the same she never slept in a cot, they aren't necessary to a child's development. It's simple she doesn't want to be away from you, she's your child she needs you.

Alice any alternative to leaving a baby alone to cry is preferable. It's not something you do because you tried everything else, it should be something you never do. It's not good for them it's cruel. I don't care if the op wanted to hear this or not. If it was never endorsed as a method nobody would agree to it. It's not a method it's doing nothing about a baby crying. Babies never cry for no reason they always need something. If the something is you then you are going to have to leave it scream it's head off until it gives in and accepts you're not coming. It's barbaric!

No, she does want something. She wants to sleep in my bed, which she does at the moment because everything has failed. But I want her out. She doesn't need me 24/7, she just wants me. She's not a newborn.

Co sleeping is NOt an alternative, because I've said clearly that's what I want to stop.

Alice, your DD sounds just like mine. She would really get properly upset every time she woke up in her cot and would never fall asleep there. I persevered and tried everything. In the end I put her in a toddler bed at just under 18 months and she slept through for the first time ever. And did so from then on. Maybe it's the bars? I just know that it was like she was scared of it.
If she wakes up now it's a sleepy cry or shout because of lost covers and easily soothed or she just turns over and goes back to sleep. No more urgent crying.

It is the bars foxes, you've just made me realise. The bars and how low down she is. That's why she's ok on other surfaces! I don't think our cot bed adjusts so the mattress can be up far higher but I will check because that could help.

Genius! The bars!

I took the front off ours, you're meant to have either both sides on it or neither (cot/toddler bed) but I only took off one, it means it's cosy (and I hang a blanket over the bars on the back) but ds can climb in and out.

He doesn't sleep it in but he could - and also it means I can perch on the edge and lay him on it for a daytime nap if necessary without having to lean in, which they always notice and wake from.

Much better for a person's back as well!

Does yours convert?

I personally think she does need you 24/7 your her parent.

I put my DD in an IKEA toddlers bed at 14months and it did help her massively, she has no negative association with her room or her bed. It has not stopped her wanting me or to get in our bed, but she's happy to fall asleep in there and doesn't wake up distressed/screaming to get out. We leave her gate open so she can just come and get into our bed as she needs. Sometimes it's 11.30 sometimes it's 4am it depends. It's definitely worth a try if you are anti co sleeping.

Just in case anyone is following for any experience - DD has gone down brilliantly for all naps and slept through till 7am both nights since my last post. So, in our experience, it took 2 nights - unsettled crying for approx 1 hr each night. Barbaric, neglect or abuse?? It was only 2 hrs I can live with that.

Ah that's great long may it continue.

I love hot sauce - Me and my husband are on CALL 24/7.
She doesn't NEED me when she's asleep.
That's ridiculous. Anyway in staying in a hotel tonight and she's with daddy. What will
Happen? She NEEDS me wail laugh

Excellent news OP, so glad it's working out for you. Hope you're all happier and well rested from here on out!