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Babies sleeping in parents' beds

54 replies

amysoph · 11/05/2004 22:22

Sorry if this has all been discussed b4, but I am new to mn....heard on the radio (but was not listening fully) that some organisation (World Health? the government?) is now recommending that parents do not allow babies to sleep in bed with them at all, risk of cot death. I know about the usual stipulations of not doing it if you are a smoker/have had a drink/etc etc, but I was bothered about it, as my 6 wk old dd2 sleeps in my bed every night. She generally wakes for a feed at about 3-4 am, and I am just too tired to do it anywhere but in bed, and once she has finished, it is usually easier to settle her next to me. ( dh is usually in spare room, getting decent night's sleep, so there is lots of room). I am careful to position her so I can't roll on top of her/she can't fall out/won't overheat, etc. But now I am worried. Should I be doing it at all? Thoughts from other people???

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MrsDoolittle · 13/05/2004 12:44

Aloha - I am sure you are right about growth spurt, it's just she was latched on ALL the time and my nipples were getting sore, I felt she was using me for comfort. She must be bringing the milk in now - I am leaking everywhere!!
Fennel - I am sure I am making it out to be worse than it is. Just feeling sorry for myself because I am tired. Coffee wakes me up and she is feeding now like the happiest baby ever!!

MrsDoolittle · 13/05/2004 12:46

ooops - sorry to go off on one everyone!!

aloha · 13/05/2004 12:47

Ah, yes, the bed like a swamp - I remember that! I'm sure it will improve for you once the spurt is over - clearly though all that night feeding has done what it was supposed to do- made more milk!

Hope it improves for you soon. If she's very, very sucky and it's not just a growth spurt, a dummy can be very useful, but atm she sounds pretty textbook (and I bet she's gorgeous too).

MrsDoolittle · 13/05/2004 12:52

She's cherubic!!!
( I wouldn't have said that last night!)

dinosaur · 13/05/2004 12:56

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MrsDoolittle · 13/05/2004 13:12

I recently went to stay with my parents. Dm (though she wouldn't believe it) is very old fashioned.
I went to bed in the afternoon taking two week old dd with me. Two hours later dh came into the room carrying a crying baby.
It seems dm had come in to check on me and was horrified to see the baby in bed with me and taken her out!!! I must have been really tired not to notice!

Fennel · 13/05/2004 13:14

I find it really weird that apparently in cultures where everyone habitually co-sleeps, cot deaths are unknown. (the 3-in-a-bed book goes on about that). I can't see why that would be. does anyone know?

Or is it just that the deaths would be classed as having some other cause?

MrsDoolittle · 13/05/2004 13:27

It would be difficult to say because we don't know what causes cot death. I read somewhere it was thought it may be to do with the fact we wake each other up and remind them to breath.
Maybe they don't sleep as deeply when they are co-sleeping or something?

papillon · 13/05/2004 13:32

Fennel I often wonder about all the people in countries who co-sleep and that alot of those mothers can probably not even afford a cot!

I wonder who sponsered the Lancet research? Anyone know?

MrsDoolittle · 13/05/2004 13:34

Papillon - it's that that the current advice on keeping baby with you in the room for up to six months is based on. So my HV said.

papillon · 13/05/2004 13:39

unicef response to Lancet research

Our dd sleeps on her own futon right next to our bed (6.5months) and often comes into bed early in the morning

I think that is good too cause she is learning that we won´t get up just cause she is awake.. and she lies there quite happily or goes back to sleep.

Sorry MsDolittle I did not get how your response related to my other post

papillon · 13/05/2004 13:40

MrsDoolittle I mean!!

papillon · 13/05/2004 13:43

Dinosaur this bit of the UNICEF article relates to what you were saying earlier
"Care needs to be paid to the potential risks of advising mothers against bed sharing. If a mother gets out of bed at night to breastfeed, there is a risk that she may fall asleep with her baby in a chair or on a sofa, which is known to be much more dangerous."

now I am ranting Clayhead

Heathcliffscathy · 13/05/2004 14:14

the point is that NO ONE knows what causes SIDS...if there was a known cause of death, it wouldn't be under that category. guidelines are just that: guidelines...the fact that they change every five bloody minutes should tell you what you need to know...

dinosaur · 13/05/2004 14:21

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papillon · 13/05/2004 14:23

our dd went under our duvet
and i know other couple who did the same.

I am so bad

Heathcliffscathy · 13/05/2004 14:23

i put ds under duvet up to his groin (rest of him uncovered, with just a vest on)...

dinosaur · 13/05/2004 14:25

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Fennel · 13/05/2004 14:25

I have a single duvet, dp has his own duvet, dd has her own fleece blanket but if it's cold I put the duvet over her bottom half too. We have a futon so there's no risk of her falling out of bed.

papillon · 13/05/2004 14:27

wot is a vest (a singlet? in kiwi terms?)

Piffleoffagus · 13/05/2004 14:28

yep singlet papillon, a superfit finest
memories ahhhh Hanes la dee da

papillon · 13/05/2004 14:37

cheers mate

hercules · 13/05/2004 15:58

Dh is from srilanka and when he was a baby they all co slept not because they couldnt afford a cot! It was considered normal hence we coslept. I'd have never done it if not married to him as I was brought up the traditional western way.

I manage cosleeping with dd by her being in a grobag and she has her part of our superking size bed and I have the other part. Dh works nights so not normally there and when he is he sleeps accross the other way as he is usually very tired as body clockwork being funny.

I keep the duvet well away from her by hanging the duvet off the edge of the bed so the only bit is covering me and being pulled the oppposite way to dd.

Cosleeping has meant for us that I got far more sleep by never having to get up off the bed. However I've been lucky that both kids have been fairly still at night and certainly not thrashers.

hercules · 13/05/2004 15:59

The fashion now in srilanka seems to be to put in cot and bottlefeed as they are copying the west. Bottlefeeding seems to give you a higher status.

dinosaur · 13/05/2004 16:04

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