Bad Habit - need to break - encouragement needed!

[Iona1651]

My DD is now 14 months old. She originally slept through from 9pm to 7am when she went onto solids which was lovely! However, she seems to now have developed a bad habit without us actually noticing - until now. She goes to bed around 9pm - wakes around 11.30pm when she's lost her dummy - (if we go in quick enough before she wakes properly we can just stick it in and lay her down and she goes straight back to sleep). She then has started waking around 1.30am and will not settle in her cot. She will fall asleep in our arms but as soon as she is put down then she wakes. This has resulted in her being brought into our bed just for us to get some sleep and has become a habit. My health visitor has advised that she shouldn't have a dummy so she won't wake up for it and she should be going to bed around 7pm - but if she went at this time she'd but up around 3am! Thinking of going cold turkey with the dummy thing but not sure how to do the self settling in her cot thing - any help and advice please?! (going to do this on Friday night when I'm not at work and my husband is away - hopefully something should be sorted by Tue when I'm back at work??).

I have started a thread with a similar issue, first half of the night in her cot and the rest in our bed! Only dd doesn't have a dummy :/

Ooooh - sorry - I didn't see it! I don't ususally sleep very well as I'm too worried that DD will fall out of bed - even though there is a pillow mountain/wall surrounding her! Are you doing it this weekend? We should private message each other our mobile no's for support during the night!

I don't think there's any time they 'should' be going to bed. If she only needs 10 hours sleep a night then it makes sense to put her down at 9pm otherwise she'd be up at the crack of dawn. Some people have a strange obsession with a 7pm bedtime! As long as they get enough sleep overall the bedtime is irrelevant. DD goes at 8, any earlier and she'd be up at 5am.
We did 'pick up put down' for settling in the cot (at 15 months). It took one night! Wish we'd done it much sooner

Thanks for your reply WorldsBiggestGrotbag. My health visitor made me feel pants for her going to bed at 9pm. We feed her around 6pm then bath her then let her play. She rubs her eyes and plays with her ear when she's tired. Will read more about the pick up put down - just need to survive this week whilst at work then the battle of wills will commence!

After watching 2 episodes of Three Day Nanny - I decided that last night was the night to go cold turkey with the dummy and controlled crying too. My DD cried for 45 mins before sleeping and sleeping through and she is still in bed now. This may be because she'd only had 40 minutes sleep after a full day at nursery so will see what tonight will bring....

Don't feel guilty for only putting her to bed at 9 you know your own child the hv doesn't, I'm sure if she was tired any earlier then you'd put her to bed earlier

I'm so glad I found this post although Dd is only 9m she had been great sleeping through just the occasional cry for dummy and straight off to sleep once she got it back!

Moved very successfully into her own room just before 6m then the teeth started coming through and she would waken up around 3/4am but would go straight to sleep if I brought her into our bed (only due to being absolutely exhausted) and now has developed the worst habit of waking and demanding to go to our room pointing at the door! I have of course given in many nights just so we can get some sleep but it's at the point now from she turned 9m she wakens from her cot standing climbing and she's not even fully awake which results in her falling over a bumped head and her being very upset.

Even taking her into our bed she wriggles and jumps about as if she can't get comfy whining because she is so tired just when you think she's asleep she starts getting up and moving somewhere else!

I no this is entirely my own fault for letting her into bed but now I need to toughen up and get her back to her cot so Iv taken it back to our room.. still not working! Any ideas???

hello excitedforbaba I remember you from the antenatal thread

I remember you too Ark, I kept losing track of those threads and gave up after a while! I actually just read your own thread dd also spends half the night in her cot & half in our bed I just need it to stop and claim my own space back at night! I'm determined tonight is the start of it! Wish me luck

Hi

My DD was still asleep when I left for work this morning. Rang mum at 10.15am. DD had woken just after I'd left, not eaten much breakfast and was fast asleep on the sofa - I think it was just shear exhaustion from nursery though so will see what tonight brings.

If you need anything to spur you on to do this, watch the 'Three Day Nanny'. I watched two episodes and then decided 'tonight was THE night'. The Nanny (Katherine) is right when she says the child isn't hurt, just their crying is their way of shouting for you as they can't communicate any other way.

Keep me posted on how you are progressing and good luck! x

Iona sounds like you done really well, I can only dream off a time where I am up before dd

I must get a few episodes on the tablet ready for tonight incase my determination wavers come 2am

Good luck excited, pop back to the post natal thread and say hi! We're all having a bit of a sleep nightmare at the mo!

I will do if I can find it again

Iona if you don't mind me asking, what was your plan? Did you go in after 2 mins, 5 mins, 10 mins or something like that? What did you do when you went in to her?

Post update. Put DD to bed at 9pm. She's had a lot of sleep today so not hoping for miracles. 9.10pm all quiet. RESULT! Just hoping for a full night of sleep now - will update tomorrow.

No, I don't mind you asking anything Cb148. I didn't go in at all. I just went in the kitchen and made a cup of tea! The noise of the kettle drowned out the crying and made me feel less guilty. I also watched the Three Day Nanny - I think it was the 18 August 2015 one, the lady had twins who wouldn't sleep but the Nanny sorted it so I followed her lead from that programme. Like she said, your baby is just shouting for you and isn't hungry or thirsty or injured if they've had their tea and a drink prior to bed and are in their cot.

Feel free to ask me anything else and good luck!

In bed from 7.30 not a peep so far so good...but this part of the night is usually the best. It's usually after midnight when the party starts here!

Is there anything specific any if you do at bedtime that helps? Does baby have a pillow or a comforter, do they take a bottle & supper before bed and if so how long before they are put down?

I have put my own thin pillow under dds sheet tonight to see if that helps. She has had a pillow from she was young (i know not recommended but really bad reflux & I believe this helped a great deal) I have also (again not recommended) rolled up a blanket under her sheet at her back so she gets the impression someone is there next to her! All tips I got from local mums and we have angel care monitors in place

Anything I'm missing??? Also she gets nurofen before bed if her teeth are playing up I find her calpol makes her harder to get to sleep!

Full night of sleep - yippee! My DD woke around midnight and cried for about 30 seconds - then silence! Hoping it continues.....

excitedforbaba - I usually give DD her tea around 5.30 - 6pm. This is a proper meal i.e. pasta or a roast dinner and she usually has a pudding of apple and custard or fruit or something like that. I'm using up some pre-prepared formula at the minute and only give her that at bedtime - normal cow's milk throughout the day and this will be the same at bedtime once the formula runs out.

I bath DD around 7pm and let her play in the bath. I then get her in her pyjamas - she's had a short sleeved vest on the past few nights and her pyjamas.

She does have a thin adult pillow and I did prop her cot up on some books as she had a cough when she lay down but that seems to have gone now. We do have a monitor at home but not at my mum's which is where we have been for the past 4 nights. When I checked on her the next morning she was asleep but not on the pillow - basically where she landed when she gave up 'shouting' for me!

I have given her ibuprofen at bedtime but she hasn't had this for a while now.

Hope this helps - feel free to ask anything else - and good luck! I just wish I'd done this sooner!

Brilliant! We had a full night sleep here too just not all in her cot
She slept from 7.30 to 2am woke up I tried soothing settling putting her down when she got up she was like a baby jack in the box springing up so I gave in and she snuggled right up in bed and slept to 8am so I can't really complain!

I'm wondering if bedtime is where I'm going wrong, Dd is a terrible napper we are lucky if we get 2 40 min naps a day and by 6pm she is tired and cranky wanting bed and so am I!

She didn't take her 2nd bottle yesterday afternoon and instead I gave her a small dinner so I'm thinking of letting her trial dropping that bottle and having a lunch & a dinner so in theory she will have bottle & breakfast playtime nap yogurt more play and then lunch playtime a walk which ends up in a nap then she would have had her bottle more play a fruit snack then bath bottle supper and down. With little finger foods randomly throughout the day. Maybe I need to be putting her down later but we all be so glad of the break once bedtime comes!

Totally open to trial and error at the min to see what works as no 2 nights are the same

I've just rung my mum who tells me my DD is in bed! This never happens throughout the day - either pushchair, on sofa or in your arms (her preference). I'm hoping mum doesn't let her sleep too much though so she'll be tired tonight. My DD lets me know when she's sleepy as she plays with her ears and rubs her eyes. He co-ordination for walking seems to go out the window too - as if it's too much effort to do it. She also throws herself backwards on the sofa/floor which usually ends in tears as she usually bangs her head - even though I try in vain to stop her doing this.

My DD has toast and/or cereal/porridge at breakfast, cow's milk, playtime, sometimes she has a sandwich and nearly always has sweetcorn, red/yellow/orange peppers, grapes, pieces of cheese, natural yoghurt and cow's milk at lunch time then a 'dinner' and a pudding at tea time.

You need to try and not give in getting her in bed with you. I know it's hard and you're exhausted but it's working for me and I feel so much better and rested just by her being in her own cot. Obviously each child is different (some more stubborn/harder to crack than others). Just need my DH to keep up the good work and not unravel it all!

Let me know how you do tonight.....

So today was completely different to yesterday I left her at just the 2 bottles of formula and instead gave her a second meal of veggie soup with potatoes which went down a treat and she was horrified announcing all gone at the empty bowl

Her naps were so late today she went from 12pm to 12.40 then she gave out while we were round Tescos this afternoon instead of napping and ended up falling asleep from 4.30-5 20 this eve! She had dinner just after half 5 so bottle & supper were late tonight and I think it was 8.30 by the time she was sound in her cot!

How tonight will work out is anybody's guess... Hope you have another fantastic nights sleep Iona

Aaaand already im in the spare room with dd

Ark definatley twin babies... Just before midnight I had dd in bed with me!

I don't know if it was the dropped bottle the extra dinner or the later bedtime but we will not be doing 3 new things on one day again!

Just before 12 she was up like a demon in the cot took her to bed she wriggles in her sleep and tossed and turned for hours! Woke at 5am pointing to the flask and shouting bo for bottle! Usually she will feed to sleep but not this time full 9oz bottle gone and she was ready to party!

Think she dropped off around 6.30 and woke after 9am. I am exhausted today and off the mindset I don't care where she sleeps as long as she bloody does sleep!!

Dd screamed till half 2! Probably not helped by me losing the plot at 1:30ish and shouting at her to go to sleep I have no logic at that time of the night dp heard Me shouting and this morning said he will take her Saturday night because he's worried I might break if I don't get a good night soon!

Dd is now curled up on my lap fast asleep, were supposed to be at baby sensory at 11!!

Awww. I feel for you both. It's difficult when you're tired, they're tired but want a cuddle. However, you need to do what's right for you and your child. I'm sure that I'll end up going backwards at some point so I'm not being smug. I really feel for you, tiredness is just the worst.

My DD slept in the car on the way from mum's to ours yesterday - I wasn't intending for that as I thought it'd mess up bedtime but, after she'd played and run around with her dad, I put her to bed around 9.30pm. She cried for about 10 mins and then it went quiet. I left her lamp on in her bedroom and went in an switched it off when we went to bed. She was asleep in the cot upside down and on her knees with her head on the mattress - I just left her. She cried during the night for about a minute and then slept until 8am this morning. Shame my DH was tossing and turning ALL night and kept me awake. She has a streaming nose and red cheeks so thinking it's teeth starting again. :(

Today my DD went to playgroup and was tired before we went. She was really clingy and was the same when we came home. She went to bed in her cot at 1.30pm and slept until 4.30pm which, again, I thought would mess up bedtime. I think she's been clingy because of her teeth/not feeling well. Tonight I gave her Ibuprofen and Ambusol on her gums and have just put her to bed - she cried for around 5 mins. Hoping for some sleep tonight as my DH is away.....

Well dd went to bed at half 7, I haven't picked her up since but just patted and shushed her back to sleep the 3 times she's woken up. Who knows how the rest of the night will go!