4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

[hazel88]

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

Oh Sycamore hope the tooth comes thrift quickly and she's a bit more settled once it's through. I think teething must be the most poorly designed biological process ever! (Possibly edged out by labour ) Why does it have to hurt them so much?!

So how's this for a bit of comedy? Went back to bed at DD's first nap (stupidly as of course she only has her lovely 1.5 hours when I am awake ) and suggested DH have a nap too as he seemed pretty knackered too (have to remind myself that although he doesn't wake as much as me he does have a heart condition so can't be TOO harsh about him being tired!) He puts his arms around me -'Ah, a lovely cuddly sleep' thinks I. Then he actually starts subtly trying to put the moves on! How about NOPE?! God loves a trier though

Sounds like your doing a good job hazel!

Sycamore his dietitian gave me a list of stuff he can't have, mainly cheese, cream, some different words sometimes used for milk, but lactose was on there too lucky I read it as I was just going to try it without thinking.

Will have to do more research and see if there are any other recommended ones as dentinox doesn't do anything for him

CMPI and lactose intolerance are two different things. Sorry to jump in on this thread, I technically don't qualify to be here as I have a 15mo but just wanted to give you ladies some support. My eldest DS us now 6 to but was a horrendous sleeper until he was 2yo and since the age of 4yrs he has slept 12hrs+. This is without sleep training and just being responsive to any wakings. Fast forward to DS2.... I thought I would be due a half decent sleeper, but no, I got one who was WORSE!!!! Until he was 11mo he was waking every 1 - 3 hours, I didn't sleep train but had some 'rules' from the age of 4mo. This consisted of - no co sleeping, no picking up once put to bed, no lights on, no talking, no nappy change unless soiled. Stopped night feed at 10mo (breastfed). When he woke I would pat his bum until he dropped back off, this could be instant or take 1.5hrs+, but I would still not pick him up no matter how long it would take. I stuck to this through the months of waking every hour due to teething, boy it was hard, especially with looking after my other son. Now at 15mo I can put him to bed and walk out and he will chatter away for 10 mins then fall asleep. He still has rubbish nights, which is waking twice usually (so knowing how to self soothing doesn't mean sttn.....!) But by sticking to the 'rules' he knows to expect nothing other than a quick bum pat when he wakes. Each night is different, night before last he woke 4 times, last night he was asleep by 7pm and I didn't hear a peep until 5.30am.

What I'm trying to say is that what you are going through is normal. Some kids get the whole sleep thing straight away, some it takes years. Personally I saw big improvements with both my boys after 12mo. I know that seems far off now but it goes very quickly and you will get through it. I know as I have been there with my eldest and he is now an amazing sleeper and loves his bed. You don't have to do anything to 'fix' it, they will get there. Yes, there are things you can do to encourage them, like the rules we stick to. But never once have I not responded to my boys or let them cry alone.

I recommend a few websites - Sarah ockwell-smith, evolutionary parenting and Kelly mom (the night time parenting section). These are what got me through the worst times and helped me realise things were hard but normal and they would get better. That and stolensleep.com for some light relief! Hang in there girls!

And try not to stress about naps. Apparently a different area of the brain deals with daytime sleep, which is why some babies can self settle at night but not for naps. My opinion is anywhere, anyhow. I still rock mine to sleep for his one nap a day as I believe timing is more important than trying to get him to fall asleep by himself for it. Once he falls asleep (usually within 10 mins of rocking) I put him in his cot and he sleeps for 2 - 3 hrs.

Try not to let the lack of sleep dominate your life, it is very hard I know, but I regret the hours and days I've wasted worrying about both my boys poor sleep (I'm still suffering from PND on and off, which lack of sleep makes worse). You will survive and get sleep back and even forget how hard it used to be but you won't get your children's babyhood back. Lastly, don't make the same naive mistake I made, which was to presume I was 'owed' a good sleeper second time as my first was so bad, it doesn't work like that! But if you can survive it once, you can survive it again!

Interesting, needsweet

Thing is, when DD wakes she cries, hard if you don't pick her up. So did you stand there patting DS bottom whilst he cried or did he not?

The difficulty is she is still EBF and I think she genuinely gets hungry at night somI can't not pick her up as she needs to feed. No co sleeping is against our rules too but sometimes I just fall asleep thru sheer exhaustion! So it's CS by default.

Tbh I can't wait for another 7 mos of this. DH commutes 45 miles each way to work down a busy A road/ dual carriageway and especially as the days get shorter and his commute is all in the dark, I don't think its safe for him to be doing all that driving on so little sleep. And I,have a demanding FT job and I can't hack it on 6-7 wake ups a night. If I start messing up at work anf get fired, we won't be able to pay the mortgage.

We're just doing whatever to get thru at pil and then I'm going to really try cracking it when we get home. And if the gentle methods don't work then yes, cc. :(

Oh yes he cried, and still does! Just now the crying is more like whinging so easier to ignore when parting. When he was younger if he really really cried, as in sobbing, then I would pick him up just enough to calm him down then put him back again. The way I saw it was that I was there comforting him and I knew he wouldn't cry forever and the crying was due to him being tired or him not really knowing what he wanted. I, as his Mum, knew he needed to go to sleep and the quickest way for that to happen was to keep him in his cot and pat his bum until he stopped crying and fell asleep. I knew picking him up would complicate and prolong things, so I didn't do it. I know I'm making it sound easy and matter of fact but it was damn hard not picking him up when he was crying. But I knew it was for his good. I did breast feed at night until he was 10mo, now at 15mo he still has a morning BF and a bedtime BF but nothing over night. I stopped at 10mo as he stopped going to sleep after the feed so gathered that hunger wasn't why he was waking and he didn't mind dropping it. When I was feeding him at night I would pick him up, feed him, then put him straight back into his cot and proceed with the patting. I would feed him sitting up in a chair in his bedroom so no chance of default CS!

I'm not against CC exactly, I'm sure it works, but I could never stomach it, no matter how hard things got. Also the knowledge that sleep is constantly changing and the possibility that it might need repeating in the future also put me off. I guess I just wanted to let people know that if they don't feel they can do CC or other regimented sleep training it's OK. It all comes good in the end, sooner or later, no matter what they do.

*patting, not parting!

Fear not it will pass!!
I had a month of my LO waking pretty much every hour from the 15week mark after sleeping much like yours prior to this.
Thought it would never end and then when he hit 20 weeks just went back to normal again!

Fishface did it return to the previous 'norm' naturally? DD has been waking 7+ times for 6 weeks now! 19.5 weeks now.

The Baby Sleep System book by Wendy Dean arrived today. I can't recommend it highly enough, it's bloody brilliant and will be every sleep-deprived Mama's saviour! Has made me feel so much better and definitely given me a lot more positivity. Hope everyone has had a good day

Argh so today had a nightmare with naps - think she is teething. She had two 1.5 hour long sessions in the buggy but only slept for half an hour each time. Inconsolable during the second one.

Tonight we are doing planned CS in another room to DH. I don't agree with it in general but we are staying away, she is teething and we just need to get through the night somehow!!

I am pleased I sent you the link now ! That book changed my life with ds

Revolting - my dd is the same . Didn't get her morning nap until late , she was sobbing so much ! She did improve after calpol . We have had five naps of about half an hour each . Can't get her to nap longer. I am expecting another bad night .

Yes thank you Sycamore it's such a great read!

RP, when things have got really tough for us we've always said 'it's all about survival!' and that's exactly what it is....just doing whatever you have to to get by right now. You're away and everything is out of sorts. Until you are settled back at home and have a little more energy there's no point in even thinking about making changes right now, especially while your poor LO is teething. Just go with it, Cosleep as much as you have to (must admit although I moan about it and don't want to make it a habit, I have enjoyed Cosleeping sometimes as I just lay and stare at my beautiful baby sleeping and enjoying mummy - baby time!). Treat yourself where you can, even if it's a bar of choccy and a cup of nice coffee, just go with it and try not to stress too much right now

Hazel - do you know much about ranitidine strengths ? Dd has 150mg/10ml last time and now doctor has prescribed 75ml/5ml which I think works out the same ? But I can't think straight due to lack of sleep !

It must be the same .... I am losing it !

That's crap revolting

Hope everyone's nights aren't too bad

I don't know what happened to ds! He went to dm for the day as I was so exhausted. Come back, fast asleep for his last nap. Up for dinner and only took around 20 mins to settle to sleep he's been asleep an hour so far!!! I'm scared it won't stay like this for the night though!

I just had a Chinese, think I have food poisoning. I have been so ill

It is the same ... I need sleep , ignore me

Oh no zombie hope you feel better soon, drink plenty of water! Hope you can get some rest and your LO gives you a bit of a break tonight!

Sycamore I have no idea I'm afraid, although I do have the calculations on my phone for the max dosage you can give. Takes a lot of calculating though! Sounds as though you've sussed it. Is your DD's reflux under control now do you think?

Thanks Hazel , she has need feeding better since we increased the dose. She is 13ibs now so is on 1.3 ml three times per day. She is not squirming as much . Apparently teething can make it worse .
Zombie - hope you feel better soon!

That's brilliant news Hazel glad you are feeling so positive. You seem to be on a sleep roll

RP and Sycamore you had challenging days. Hope co-sleeping gers you some sleep tonight RP and that both your babies are a bit happier tomorrow.

Oh no Zombie. Not what you need when you are already depleted. Hope you don't have too rough a night.

Here an actual bona fide miracle has occurred. DD fell asleep for the night without the dummy for the first time since she was about 2 months old!!! And the absolute best part is that she didn't cry. At ALL. Like, not even a whimper. I have no doubt that she will still wake loads and that getting rid completely won't be this simple but it is a HUGE step for us as I was convinced she wasn't able to fall asleep without it. wonders briefly if someone could have changed DD for different child whilst I wasn't looking

Hello ladies

sorry I haven't checked in. Have travelled up to my parents for the weekend. Well, the past 2 nights have been great. Waking only twice. Easy to settle and napping 1.5 hours at a time. Again ive changed nothing, DD has just naturally settled again. She's dropped her second night feed so is down to just one which is great. Im happy but im not holding hope as this has happened before. Monday I am still starting cc. Sorry I can't reply to you all just yet, I will later.
hold in there girls, theres light at the end xx

Zombie poor you. How are you now? Deffo lots of water!

I am seriously tempted by Wendy Deane now! Only, because I've started with No Cry SS I feel I shoild give that a fair try. Also tbf all the praise given to Wendy Deane is exactly the same stuff people say about Elizabeth Pantley (NCSS author) and I feel like I'd just be swooping one guru for another iyswim.

Anyhow, yeah, going to get thru tonight and then 3 nights at my mums. I expect that to be harder as DM has NDN from hell - she's in a semi and Ndn DC are in their teens, left alone and allowed all night parties with all their mates. The noise is horrific :(

Penguin and mariloulou, SO happy for you both. What great news!!

Mariloulou that's fab- just when you really needed it!

Wishing good nights all round

Seems like everyone's babies might be turning a corner??