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Original poster

4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

955 replies

hazel88 · 19/06/2015 21:52

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

OP posts:
Original poster
hazel88 · 09/07/2015 20:49

Zombie, I phoned my HV today and asked if they could put me in touch with someone who can give sleep advice. She offered to get my useless HV to call me and I said I didn't want her advice as she has been unhelpful. She said they have a nurse they can send around to talk to me about sleep. Maybe you have someone like that in your area?

Mariloulou I'm keeping everything crossed for you!

DD has just woken for the first time after 2 hours. I braced myself to try again with PUPDCD. The little monkey, as soon as I picked her up she went silent and tried nodding off on me! So straight back down she went, then cried. PUPD 8 times and on the 7th time she went ballistic again...throwing herself back screaming. It was like her screaming peaked, then as soon as she stopped I put her back down and off to sleep she went! it took 8 attempts and 10 minutes from getting her up to putting her down again. Here's hoping for a good night for everyone!

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mariloulou · 09/07/2015 21:10

Thats amazing hazel!! So good to hear. When you pick her up do you just hold her til she stops crying or rock abit? Then when you put her down if shes quiet do you leave the room or stay? If you stay what do you do? Im unsure at this point, do you just stand over them? Never understood PUPD, but your technique and persevering seems spot on!

Original poster
hazel88 · 09/07/2015 21:20

Initially when I take her up to nap I do rock and shush to get her drowsy.

But when she wakes I gently rock and shush. I want to stop rocking altogether though. When I put her down I always put her on her side and keep my hand on her for a moment. I then gently lift it off and just watch her for a minute. Sometimes I (fairly firmly) pat her bum while I shush- I think if you do it lightly it stimulates them so they wake up. She's facing away from me so to her it wouldn't make any difference if I'm in the room or not as she can't see me. But I can usually tell if she's going to go to sleep or wake up. If it's likely that she'll go to sleep I quickly get out and get that kettle on! Grin

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zombiemeow · 09/07/2015 21:20

Oh I will definitely find out tomorrow! Or I wonder if his dietitian or consultant might help (grabbing at straws here!)

He is one of them babies if I put my hand on him he gets over excited and starts wriggling!

I'm confused with the pupd as to what I would do. A lot of times ds cries when he wants his dummy, the dummy settles him until it falls out again, do you pu instead of giving the dummy? And when he wakes up in the night he's wide awake, do I just hold him until he's sleepy, which could take a long time, then put him down? Or wait until he cries then pick him up and put him down when he stops?

mariloulou · 09/07/2015 21:22

Wow its been 2 hrs now and not a peep, just checked on her as I was getting worried. Whats going on.... this is the longest she has gone in 2 weeks

Original poster
hazel88 · 09/07/2015 21:22

And I only pick her up until she stops crying and calms down (this is the point where I've never been brave enough to put her down and have carried on rocking). But today, when I knows she's tired, I've put her straight back down when she's calmed down.

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mariloulou · 09/07/2015 21:26

Im confused too zombie, I completely dont understand the theory or method. I tried it briefly with DD and im sure I must have been doing it wrong because it didn't at all work!

I don't know what to do when I do cc on Monday. The dummy comforts her to sleep but I don't want to have it falling out all night and popping it back in. Im sure part of the wakings is the dummy's fault. It seems a lot to do In 1 day, move her to her own bedroom, do cc and remove dummy! Too much do you think, or all or nothing?

mariloulou · 09/07/2015 21:28

What do you do when you put her down hazel? Do you stay in the room but out of eye contact, or stay next to her, or leave the room

Original poster
hazel88 · 09/07/2015 21:32

By the way, just remembered DD also has my cardi in the cot that I've worn today so that, should I have to leave her to cry for the 5 min period that she can get some comfort from it.

Zombie, my DD won't take a dummy and it wakes her up more if I try to give it to her. Do you think your DS would cope if you ditched the dummy and introduced a comforter? DD loves to wake up at 2 ish every morning at the moment and is wide awake for an hour. I have been rocking her for an hour but my back can't cope and why should I try and force her to sleep?! Tonight I'll follow the PUPDCD routine, then after 20 mins I'll do the put down bit and walk out for 5 mins or until she starts to cry and I'll carry on with the routine. She's just not tired at this point and I'm going to keep trying to make her sleep. Also, during this time I could be having a much-needed lye down even if im not asleep! I would imagine the dummy, although it settles your DS initially, is actually causing you problems as he probably wakes when he realises hes lost it and needs it back. When DD used to take a dummy on the odd night and her sleep temporarily went tits up I phoned the HV who said DITCH THE DUMMY!! She said they'll often keep waking every time it falls out and need it again. Could you maybe go cold turkey on the dummy and stuff a muslin cloth or something down your top for the day and at bedtime let him snuggle in to it so it smells of you? I'm grateful DD isn't interested in the dummy. I only carry one in the changing bag in case of emergencies!

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Original poster
hazel88 · 09/07/2015 21:37

That's great about the 2+ hours mariloulou! When I put her down I stand next to the cot as she'll often wail straight away. I don't think that bit matters too much what you do, I think you'll know when she's going to go off and when she won't. I would (only guessing here) that it might not have worked so far as maybe you haven't painstakingly done it over and over? Not meaning to sound patronising, but before I thought it wasn't working for DD but today when I've had the 'I will do this' attitude I've just kept going and going and going until it does work. Obviously there's a chance it won't work, but once you get in to the swing of it I'm sure you'll have success

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Sycamore76 · 09/07/2015 21:40

Mariloulou - when I did cc with my son we had been co sleeping so he went in his own cot plus sleep training . I would ditch dummy also and put in a comforter

Original poster
hazel88 · 09/07/2015 21:42

sorry I meant I'm not going to keep trying to get her to sleep!

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Original poster
hazel88 · 09/07/2015 21:44

mariloulou I agree with sycamore. I read that if you're going to make changes that it's best to do them all at once so it's less changes for them to get used to all the time. I would however ditch the dummy asap and keep going with that comforter.

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Penguin13 · 09/07/2015 21:50

Grrrrrrrr just wrote a long post and my phone lost it when I tried to post Angry Mariloulou I need to ditch the dummy too. DD has woken twice to have it reinserted and although she goes straight back off again once it's in I am sure she would sleep more soundly without it. I'm just scared of the crying it will cause as although DD has a cuddly rabbit she is well attached to she seems to need the sucking to get off to sleep.

RevoltingPeasant · 09/07/2015 21:53

Oooh are we potentially having better nights....? Hazel, Mari?

So today I managed to not utterly fuck up her naps Hmm We did 45 min in buggy in the morning, 35 min in buggy early pm, then just over one hour in car last thing, as we were going somewhere. We then kept her very lively and did bedtime half an hour later than usual, following her cues.

Bedtime was easy, started at 7.30 and down by 8.10/8.15 ish with no crying. Stayed till 8.25 to see she was settled and came down. So far no call downs although if when she does I've already asked DH to go for the first one.

Last night she woke at midnight, I took into bed just to feed and fell asleep Shock woke up at 3am and thought she's awfully quiet over there in her travel cot.....only to realise she was wedged between me and DH - eeeek! Needed to resettle her after that, and then it was 4,30 and then 6 and then I just thought screw it, and co slept.

Let's see what tonight holds.....

Am v interested in this pick up out down cry down stuff, in case MCSS doesn't work.

Original poster
hazel88 · 09/07/2015 22:02

Sounds like you've had a better day RP, glad to hear it. I would reccomend buying that book I've just bought The Baby Sleep System by Wendy Dean I think her name is. I bought it used from amazon for a couple of quid but that's where the PUPDCD is explained. I'm poised ready for DD's feed which is due in half an hour. I have my flask of coffee next to me for the night Grin

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mariloulou · 09/07/2015 22:03

Im amazed that babies fall asleep that way. If DD saw me standing over her as she was crying im sure she wouldn't drop off! Im guessing I could be wrong though, they surprise you hey! Well DD woke 2hrs 20mins and has gone straight back off with the dummy. I probably should have tried patting without dummy but sod it im too tired tonight, im really going to need to get into the right frame of mind for cc.
sycamore, I think I will, that dummy will have to go, I can already see it being a bother next week.

well dh and I have barely exchanged 2 words tonight so ive come up to bed and going to get some shut eye as have a full on day tomorrow.

Wishing you all well for tonight! Heads up xx

mariloulou · 09/07/2015 22:07

P.s I do want to apologise for not replying to some messages. On my phone its a nightmare and I lose track of whos said what! I do read every message though and am so grateful we have this thread going with all you lovely ladies support xx

Penguin13 · 09/07/2015 22:16

Ok so I wouldn't call that a resounding success for formula top up given that the first proper wakeup was even earlier than usual Hmm. Serve me right for thinking I might actually be making progress.

Tried continuing with reduced feeds. Nope. Cried every time I took her off the boob. Eventually managed it and she is back down but....and please excuse my language here, fuck this shit.

I guess I have to try to keep in my mind that by trying to go for the methods with the least crying and distress for DD progress will inevitably be slower some might say so slow as to be imperceptible but it is SO frustrating Angry

Sorry that was an incredibly me me me post.

Penguin13 · 09/07/2015 22:25

Mariloulou I'm the same (doesn't help when my phone keeps eating my posts either!)

Well done for communicating with your DH about what you need. I think it's healthier than bottling it all up and harbouring resentment.

Sycamore76 · 09/07/2015 22:36

Oh do your phones do that ? I too lose track and my phone
Has been known to lose long posts. She just woke up so am now feeding ! Last night was a one off!

zombiemeow · 09/07/2015 22:39

Sorry I have got a bit lost on my phone with the thread!

He loves to hold a muslin but I thought they couldn't have anything in the cot with them? He often holds it over his face to go to sleep Confused then in the day I just take it off him and he naps in his bean bag. I know I need to start putting him in his cot Confused

So tired. Am going to catch some shut eye hopefully enough to get me through the 'stupid o clock' wake up.

Hope everyone has a........ Good night?

zombiemeow · 09/07/2015 22:40

Everyone is having the phone problem! Grin

Penguin I'm shocked the formula didn't work! I thought that would fill them up more Hmm

Original poster
hazel88 · 09/07/2015 23:00

zombie, my DD sleeps with either a muslin cloth or an item of my clothing in the cot Blush

Mariloulou just go with it and charge your batteries ready for next week if you need to, sounds like you've had a bit of a rough time with DH so I'm sure you just need to get some rest where you can right now without making any changes just yet.

Sorry to hear of all the wake ups so far Sad

DD has just had 2nd wake up as she was due a feed. She took another 8.5oz and once she belched straight after I then put her down straight away no messing around, bloody hope this works! Hmm

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Penguin13 · 09/07/2015 23:06

Zombie I think we are also battling teething pain so maybe that played a part in the early wake, also I just remembered that the friend who tried this said it can take a couple of weeks of giving formula for it to work - no idea why!