4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

[hazel88]

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

Sycamore that's so great I'm so happy for you!! A well - earned rest for everyone must have been amazing, I hope it sticks.

RP I hope you're feeling a bit better today and DH gave you a bit of a break, you really need it.

I can't remember who suggested it, but I've just bought The Baby Sleep System book from Amazon- was only a couple of quid! Will make it my mission to finish it when we're away at the end of next week. That will be great fun- staying in a premier Inn, bathing and feeding DD at 6.30pm then we're unable to watch TV or do anything as we'll all be so close together in the room so looks like bedtime could be 6.30 for us with a silent dinner in bed!! Mind you, might be able to catch up on some z's haha.

Today I'm spending most of the day in town to try and pass the time and give DD some fresh air. Took her to the beach yesterday and sat by the water in the hope that all of that fresh air would knock her out....nope!!!

Going to phone our useless HV and ask if there's anyone she can put me in touch with to get some advice re DD's aversion to sleep!

I rocked her to sleep for her first nap HATE doing this but I'm running out of ways to get her to sleep. So desperately trying not to make bad habits but she just. won't. SLEEP!!!!

I remember teething with my ds , it felt like the entire first year was teething ( he is 3 now ) . He really suffered with it . Looks like dd will too. Some people swear by amber stuff , have you tried that ? I haven't yet. I have had a few better nights too and then it all went wrong again so I am not getting my hopes up. There are some good sleep training methods in this book and she suggests gentle ones if you are not up for controlled crying . Baby sleep answers by Wendy dean . Really cheap on amazon . She takes all the techniques from baby whisperer , gina ford etc x

Yeah this is book is by her I think, it looks great. DD wears an amber anklet from Amber Pumpkin but I don't think it's doing anything. the Ashton and Parsons granules seemed to work well last night.

Hazel , That's funny as I have just suggested that book again! It's a shame they don't have the forum anymore . I remember walking the whole day with ds. Do you have Nct friends for support ? It must have been nice at the beach despite trying to get her to sleep !
Health visitors generally just suggest cry it out , they are quite harsh ! I remember my gp suggesting this . Not even controlled crying just letting them cry until they go to sleep. The book is good as she gives you example routines and settling methods to match what kind of parent you are . I am sure it will get better , I remember thinking the same about ds at this age . His naps never got much better but his night sleep was great and he ended up being a very happy baby .

this was one of the reviews from the book.....

At my wits end and suffering from depression as a result of sleep deprivation I discovered this fantastic book and online support forum. I seriously cannot recommend it highly enough. Our daughter was still being swaddled and relied on a dummy in order to sleep at five months, was waking numerous times in the night and had a history of not sleeping well since she was born. After using one of the methods recommended in the book (pick up, put down, cry down) consistently, within 3 nights we saw a dramatic improvement (with no dummy and no swaddle). Within a week our daughter slept from 7am to 6am and has done this consistently since then.

Since then, for any sleep issues/questions/problems/blips we have used the online support forum that purchasing the book gives you access to, which has been an absolute lifeline.

I think that in itself the book is useful, but what it has over other written resources is the wealth of ongoing and infinite support, allowing you to ask specific questions about your own circumstances which is often the shortcoming of books recommending particular methods/systems. Plus the contact with others who have been through/are going through what you are is just invaluable.

That's great, even if her night time sleep would improve I'm sure we'd all be happier!

no I don't have NCT friends.

the book looks and sounds great. I have it on 1st class delivery as I'm so eager hahaha.

Honestly the book, forum and email consultation from Wendy totally saved me ! She has been on TV and all sorts . I basically emailed her all the time during sleep training and she supported me by advising suggested day time routine etc

I see it's around £25 for 30 days or something? I'd pay hundreds if I had to.

I'm worried DD wouldn't be able to follow such a rigid routine, she very much a 'on my terms' kinda kid! However that clearly isn't working as she doesn't friggin sleep!

Did you wait until DS was 6 months old before sleep training? I might try pick up, put down, cry down this weekend

Ooooh sounds good hazel! That's the problem with ds, he doesn't like routine. I tried getting him in a routine for ages, it made him worse

Oh really zombie?

A technique from the book is PUPD Cry Down. this is how it works:

Do this for 20mins:
PUPD drowsy
If cries, pick up and shush pat

If awake in cot just sit in room
Put down awake

If cries on way down, put down then pick back up straight away

After 20mins of doing this put down in cot and leave for 5-10 mins

If still crying repeat whole process for 20 mins.

If no luck pat/stroke in cot for 15 mins.

Leave for 5-10 mins.

If still crying, repeat pat/stroke in cot for 5 mins. If still awake leave for 5 minutes.
If still awake after 5 mins stroke hair 'night night'. Leave for 5 mins and repeat.

It's suitable for any age baby and is a combination of CC and PUPD but alot more gentle than CC. I'm going for it as of this afternoon and buying earplugs today for DP! I'll have my flask of coffee at the ready tonight, I have to try something I'm losing my mind!! DD will go wild but hopefully it will only be a temp thing while she adjusts and we'll all get some more sleep! Will let you know tomorrow how I got on overnight. Wish me luck!!

Oh and I'll only be doing this if I'm sure she is feeling well. I plan on giving her a 3rd meal today too whereas she usually has 2. I'll feed her 4 hourly during the night too.

Ds must of heard me, I fed him at 3.30am and then he had some yoghurt at 7, then he had another bottle at 11.15. He usually has loads more than that! He's now on his second nap. Fingers very tightly crossed my plan works!!!

Hope that method works for you hazel.

At least I found somewhere people understand how stressful it is!

Aww I can sympathise, couple months ago my DS wouldn't sleep longer than 2 hours every night.. I was so tired. But now I've found the more he sleeps in the day the better he sleeps at night. I took the advice off someone of putting him down for a nap 2 hours after he wakes in the morning!! It works!! He wakes at 7 now, has milk then breakfast, then I take him straight back upstairs, he plays on the bed for 1/2 hour & then he's back off to sleep, no fuss. I was at my wits end, but at 7months old he's finally got it, just wakes once in 11 hours now. You'll get there!

Ps my baby just fell into a routine at 7 months, I tried at 6 and it just made him soooo anxious! We both hated it!! He's so much happier now.

Thanks for the tip Mum my DD gets pretty good sleep in the day usually. We do as you described and usually put her down about 2 hrs after first wakeup depending on tired signs (although this morning these were mummy's tired signs not DD's ) and she usually has 1.5 hours though can be 45 mins. Later on she will have a second nap of 45 mins to 1.5 hours (and sometimes a third depending on previous ones) Sadly it seems to make no positive difference to night sleep although I do agree avoiding over - tiredness prevents things from being even worse!

Good luck with your plan Hazel. You sound very clear and resolved which is an excellent start. Sometimes I think my attempts at adjusting things fail because I haven't thought it through and if it's not straight in my head before bedtime by bleary o clock I just crumble and stick with what works!

penguin, unfortunately I find too that however good daytime sleep is, the nights are still just as bad but as least DD isn't an overtired monster!

Yeah I think I'm pretty clear on my plan Want to start it during the day though as I'm too tired and often patience is running low come bed time so I want a head start before bed! I'm not sure now whether it's a good idea to start it tonight DD is still rubbing her ear but now her eye has gone gunky. She seems happy in herself but not sure if it would be a bit unfair to start tonight?

How much sleep ds has in the day doesn't seem to make a difference either. He's just having a third nap bit early really but he was over tired. So difficult when he's like that, he throws his arms around and screams

Ok so I've just gone with it and done PUDPDCD for the first time...someone pass me the wine?!

Did the first part and on the 20th minute she finally went down just as I was about to do the walking out of the room while she cries bit. She went fucking ape shit beforehand, that was tough. She was bright red and so angry. At first I was tempted to ditch it and cuddle her to sleep but in my head I'm saying 'it's for the greater good...everyone will sleep. I can do this!'. And while I know it isn't a power struggle, I kept reminding myself that I'm in control. Everytime, I put her down as soon as she stopped crying, not when she was dropping off which is what I usually do.

Anyway, I've just come back downstairs with the monitor on and she started crying again so I quickly turned it down to try and keep myself calm and started timing...then...she went quiet!!! This NEVER happens - once she starts she doesn't stop. It didn't even last 30 seconds and she's back off to sleep! I have just crept back upstairs though to check if she's ok

I think the first day of doing this must be the hardest bit as it's so alien to the LO, but I really want to persevere now I've started. I'm so determined. I've bought some earplugs for myself and DP and I'll be putting them in next time she has a nap and I have to do the same again.

As DD's room isn't ready yet, DP and I will be sleeping in another room tonight with some earplugs for DP, and I'm going to keep on with this, going in then leaving the room as the method suggests. I'm going to have my flask of coffee and Lucozade to hand as I know when I'm tired with little patience it's very likely I'll give up.

Will keep you all posted. Hope everyone has had good nap days

Sounds good so far hazel!

I messed up. Ds was finally asleep and like an idiot I went into the kitchen. He started crying because the bloody dummy had fallen. By the time I got there it was too late and he was wide awake now he's on my lap screaming again.

Am going to get a bottle of wine in a min

I might try pupd soon. Maybe il just hold it until he's almost asleep, like eyes closed rather than just drowsy to start with.

Hazel when I had consultation with Wendy ( the author of the book ) she said naps are much harder when toy first start sleep training so try bedtime first and with naps yet for half an hour and if no joy get then to sleep how ever you can . She said they are more likely to respond better with sleep training during nighttime .

Oh Zombie I hate those times. Just when you think 'phew, they're down'. God forbid you should actually have a cup of tea and a 30 minute breather!

Wow sounds like a great start Hazel. Let us know how you get on tonight.

I am currently capitalising on a car nap and sat on my drive waiting for DD to wake up as I know if I transfer her she will instantly wake. Hopefully this short nap will stave off bedtime over-tiredness but leave her still tired enough to sleep come 7.

As DD has been fairly miserable with her teeth I'm not going to try anything too challenging sleep-wise tonight though I am (controversially) planning to try giving some formula tonight at the last feed in addition to BF. I met a friend from ante-natal who has had great success with this!

Good luck penguin hope it goes well!

Thanks sycamore, I didn't really think of it that way. I was just thinking 'I won't have the patience or energy to start it tonight!'. But I've only done it once as the next time she goes to sleep will be bedtime, so will do it again then.

Hazel - sorry for my incoherent message ! This phone !

zombie....bloody dummies! Hope you have a good night