4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

[hazel88]

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

Anyone else feel resentful of their DH?

He is downstairs finishing dessert and chatting to PIL. He fucking knows how hungry I am because I mentioned it at 5.30. He could come upstairs - I've been up here on my own for well over an hour now - but they're all just chatting. I don't feel like I can go and ask because his parents will think we are arguing.

Zombie if he can roll over reliably when awake and you have a breathing monitor, I'd leave him tbh. Don't wake The Beast

I would roll him back but check he is in a deep sleep.
DD has recently started taking a dummy but it falls out a lot and gets stuck behind her (as she is in a sleepyhead ) so that wakes her more I think ! Just taken it out her mouth as she is sleeping , don't know what to do for the best !

We have a very similar approach to naps vs bedtime Mariloulou although lately I have been experimenting with 2,3,4 timing I think 4 hours between last nap and bed is just too long for DD and results in a crap last feed and fraught bedtime. Which is probably why I am already dealing with 1st wakeup. Am breaking the feed less plan this once and giving a full feed this time as she didn't get enough before bed.

Mari and Hazel I feel your pain. Today was one of my worst days ever since DD was born. I have been at a really low ebb not helped by bloody DH who is usually great and supportive deciding to take the morning off to go fishing instead of giving me a break when I was quite clearly at the end of my rope

Last night I actually hissed angrily at DD to just go to sleep after she woke up even earlier than usual and wouldn't resettle without a feed I feel like a horrible horrible person. She is only a little baby and I know it's not her fault she is waking it is just so bloody frustrating.

Zombie, personally if they look safe, ie. Not face down etc, I would leave them! Make sure nothing else is in the cot too. I think I might ditch the dummy you know.. and do as hazel suggested and introduce a comforter.

RP you poor thing, what a bugger your DH is being tonight! Sometimes they are so inconsiderate arent they. Aslong as their fed and watered hey! After the 3rd wake up tonight I told DH I was so fed up, I asked him generally "what are we gonna do" DH responsed "donno"....

oh! Oh ok... cheers. So helpful. Men.

X post!

What is NCSS revolting? I know nothing!

Sorry if there have been more x posts, when I went to write it ds woke up, he's settled back down and is no longer on his back

Revolting , poor you , that would bloody annoy me too. I would just ask him to come upstairs as you could do with a break and you will be no use to anyone without food !! I know it's difficult as I am breastfeeding but it annoys be that dh gets to watch Wimbledon and I am up and down the stairs like a blinking yo you ! You wait until I am no longer feeding , oh how the tables will turn

I agree with RP... If he can roll both waysnow, it's fine to leave him. DS sleeps on his front or side every night, though I still use our angelcare monitor because I'm paranoid.

Don't get me started on Dh's

My husband lies there snoring while I'm up all night, then I get up at 5 with ds, sometimes I leave him talking until 6, and he will sleep until 9am, get up and go to work. And the bloody weekends, he sleeps until 12 noon. 12 bastard noon, he sleeps the night then has more sleep than I have a whole night from when I get up until when he rolls out of bed.

If he ever does wake up when I'm up for the 8373648 time that night, he mutters something really useful () like 'he's probably teething'

I get really angry with him when I don't sleep

Penguin.. try not to feel guilty. Your only human and theres only so much a person can take. Its an incredibly tough part of parenting...it tests you mentally and pushes patience ( or lack of it ) to the edge! Ive also lost my temper with DD, shamefully more than once. Its so easily done. One night she woke every 10 mins... for almost 3 hours. I screamed at her. I made her cry even more. Then I cuddled her so tight til she slept. I feel bloody awful. But I hadnt slept in days and I feel like a single parent dealing with all this on my own sometimes....

FuckfuckFUCK. I am sat up here in PIL spare room with now-sleeping DD but have started crying. Just emotional/tired and feel guilty about fucking up her naps today. Cannot now go downstairs as cannot have PIL seeing me like this.

Haven't eaten since 1.15, why the fuckety fuck can't DH come and lend a hand?! :(

RP, I'd have gone ballistic if DP had done that to. YANBU at all.

We havr identical DHs zombie. Sleep all night, up whenever they want. Or when their alarm "wakes them"... then shower. Eat. Out the door. Rinse repeat every day. I actually put my foot down at the weekend and said he better not even think about lying in past 9am when ive been up at 5am for the past 8weeks. Needless to say he was up at 8.45am making me a cuppa :*)

Zombie, does he know how you feel? You should at least get the lie in at the weekend! This is subject that really makes me foam at the mouth with rage (see post higher up the thread). It's SO UNFAIR when fathers just expect the mum to cope with all the nights and the early mornings too. Next Saturday, tell him you're not getting up til noon and he can do it.

Oh RP, im so sorry. What a shithead he is being. Can you text him and tell him to bring you some food up? Then give him a bollocking on how shit he is being? /hugs

zombie, if it were me I'd have to roll back as I'd worry so much that I couldn't sleep, I would try and act like your cuddling then roll back if poss?! If your LO is fully capable of rolling right over either way you probably shouldn't worry too much.

Mariloulou and everyone else, sorry to hear you too are feeling low sending virtual hugs. Are everyone's babies still teething? I bought some Ashton and Parsons teething granules today, used them for the first time tonight- really hope they work.

She woke at 7.30 after being put down at 7. I'm so desperate to have our happy girl back again just want to help her and make her feel well - rested.

Mariloulou YOU CAN DO THIS!! Please keep us updated with re to the cc. I just keep thinking that a few intense nights with good results would be far more beneficial than constant shitty sleep and everyone being sleep - deprived and miserable. Fill yourself up on coffee if you're not BF, make sure you have DHs full support and that you have nice goodies in to treat yourself when you can such as bubble bath (or my fave, radox shower gel) and a big bar of chocolate!

Major x post as I take so long to type! Just catching up. RP I would be livid. You have not fucked anything up by the way. Sometimes external factors get in the way not to mention the little monkeys themselves. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

Yes for some reason.. once they have done their day at work, and come home their day is done. The arguments we have had on this subject! It doesn't click though, its still me who goes dashing up the stairs!

I agree with penguin. Maybe even a change of scenery could have altered your DDs naps?

Thanks hazel, let us know if the granules work. Teething doesnt seem so bad here tonight but shes still waking lots. I will of course keep you fully posted next week re cc. In the hope it well help you when the time comes! Will need some serious hand holdings that week

Yep teething central here. Her bottom two are still working their way through having first emerged through the gum mid May! Can tell it's a bad day as we've had lots of what I call 'angry biting' and she actually bit my finger hard today which only happens when she is in pain with the teeth. We have used A+p powders, I find them quite good, they do seem to calm DD down although I'm never sure if it's the distraction factor!

Oh but you know I hear teething doesn't actually cause babies to wake more Anyone here find that to be the case?

As far as I'm concerned, my DP's full time job takes place out of the house from 8am-6pm, Monday to Friday. Mine takes place in the home 8am-6pm, Monday to Friday (i.e. looking after DS). Then when he comes home until he leaves again, we're both jointly responsible for DS so we share wakings, early mornings, feeds, nappy changes, everything. In fact, when he gets home at 6pm, I often hand DS straight over for half an hour and just recuperate from the day. When you're looking after a child, it's full on all bloody day - some days I don't get lunch, or any time to myself. Even when DP has a busy day at work, he gets an hour for lunch when he can nip out or sit chatting with his mates, he can go to the toilet without the accompaniment of screaming rage from DS at being left for two minutes, he can go for a wander and make a brew.... So I need a bit of downtime too.

If he'd tried to carry on as though DS was all my responsibility because he goes to work, he would have found himself minus me and minus DS in very short order

Wow there's a lot to catch up on! I'm on my phone so can't remember all of it.

Revolting, I am on your behalf! can you text him and tell him to bring something up to you? As if they have all just sat there eating dinner knowing your upstairs!

Problem is I can't leave ds with my husband. Ds just will not settle at all with him, so if I had a lie in, id probably just be woken by a screaming tired ds anyway. He seems to have no clue at all, he doesn't recognise when he's tired/hungry/pood. It's probably my fault because instead of letting him figure it out/helping I just decide it's easier for me to do it! Ds also flat out refuses to take a bottle from him

4th wakeup of the night. What the actual fuck. Its getting worse! How?! All I need yo do is put her dummy in and shes off, be it not for long but shes barely awake, just whinging because she needs some help drifting back off. This is when I start to feel crap

Hmmm, he's just woke up moaning twice again but had a little roll around then fell back asleep. Fingers crossed he does that tonight instead of full on wake ups.

I also don't know whether when he has his feed at 3/4am, he's actually hungry or not. I might be just feeding to sleep. I have no idea as I'm always to tired to try him without! Then I worry that he'll keep waking up because he knows he'll get a cuddle and milk.