Dropping night feed..help soo tired!

[Crazybaby1]

Hey there, I'm a newbie, both on here and as a parent!! Dd is 4 months 2weeks. Ff.
She barely takes any formula during the day and has started taking 7oz bottles 2-3 in a row from 7pm feed! She's having a dream feed at 11pm and wakes at 2.30-3am and wants to stay awake like its party time!! I've tried plugging her dummy back in, patting back to sleep etc but not working. I keep her in bed as long as I can anyway, which is usually 5am!! I'm on my own as partner works away and is scared stiff of him on a weekend!! (Another story/problem) so I'm shattered. Can't sleep during day as I'm too busy, got five dogs to walk feed etc and feeding myself and taking a shower is getting sidelined BIG time. I never get my dinner at night as I have to go straight to bed when baby does to even try and gain a couple of hours. Dd does get herself off to sleep, I put her down drowsy. She has a dummy, but spits it Just before nodding off sleep! I've heard about offering water on feed u want to drop? But some are saying you shouldn't do it? would be happy if Dd would just sleep from 11pm until 6am. Help me please?!!

I really feel for you as I've got a 10 week old DS Who is bf and doesn't go longer than 3 hours day or night.
If you read this link, it might help with understanding the sleep/feed pattern a bit more. I found it on an old thread, it's ace.
www.isisonline.org.uk/hcp/how_babies_sleep/normal_sleep_development/normal_sleep_sleeping_through/

Thanks tiredvommachine. I've read endless amounts of conflicting sleep solutions and I'm a Pretty sure you just have to put up and shut up unfortunately, it's just the way babies are. But I'm getting really depressed and weeping a lot. I know it's because I'm tired, but if there is ANY chance of a few hours straight sleep somehow, I'd try almost anything. Dd is a major crier, even if I take her somewhere she doesn't recognise, or talk to someone she's not in contact with everyday, including grandparents! She cries. She naps well, couple of hours morning, couple afternoon and a quick catnap if grouchy around 5pm!! I understand she's only young, so maybe I'm just flogging a dead horse? Don't want her to sleep 10 hours straight, just 6 if possible?!! Wish there was an end in sight, but some say their little lovelies were still waking at 15 months old?!!!!!

Have a google of the 4month sleep regression. The goodness is it does get better - the bad news is here's always another one looming on the horizon!

What Jen said - 4 month sleep regression. There's a Wonder Weeks App, it was brilliant when DS was little as I had a rough idea of when to expect major crappiness.

Flisspaps! Lol. Have just bought the app thankyou! She's never been a good night sleeper due to reflux, and is clingy with me as a result of comforting her thru her constant crying. She's over the reflux, but it seems to have helped form some bad habits!!

Thanks jemfinch too

"Can't sleep during day as I'm too busy"

You know not sleeping when you are given the opportunity to sleep is a pointer sign for Post Natal Depression?

Do you have other children? Your husband is away in the week so no one minds what the house looks like (not that he should mind anyway, even if he was at home). No one is there to cook for so if you live off beans on toast and cereal for a few days, no one will know.

OK, so you have dogs to walk - an hour or two each day might be nice for a walk while baby sleeps in the pushchair with you. Or pay a teenage neighbour dog walker for a month.

You have no reason not to be able to sleep in the daytime if you need to. Everything else can wait. Everything.

Unfortunately my baby will only sleep on me for naps, so I darent go to sleep on the sofa because of all this sids advice? I manage to have brekki ok, lunch is mostly ok, but any time I try and make some dinner, I pop her in her bouncy chair and take her with me in the kitchen, but she'll cry whilst I make something, cry whilst I eat it, then ends up in such a state that she won't take her bottle before bed, which means she won't go to bed!! Sounds simple when you put it in words, but in practise there are many implications. I've heard people say, just let her cry, but she'd cry whilst I had dinner, had a shower, that's just an hour of crying without doing any essential stuff like washing sterilising bottles, doing the washing and hanging out, feeding dogs, picking up the dog poop in the garden. Do u see why it's not so clear cut?! Lol. I've tried letting her cry before and it's not worth upsetting her feeds/bedtime for, totally throws u out of routine and makes her overtired and even more grumpy!

Do you have a sling? If she would sleep in that on you you would at least have your hands free to eat/sterilise etc while she slept. Does t help with the nighttime waking but might make your days more bearable.

...again just cries it's one of the night time feeds I want to try and eliminate as once awake for a feed doesn't go back to sleep! I know she could drink much better during the day and miss out a feed in the night as she's doing it in reverse at the mo!! Just not sure how u shift it around? Any ideas? Thanks for ur comments everyone

Could you feed two or three hourly through the day on an EASY routine?

Out of sheer desperation last nite, I changed one of her feeds to water, of which she only drank 2oz and then stayed awake, which is "normal" from 3.30am. I then thought she would be hungry and drink more at 7am, but she only drank 1oz, I tried her again a couple of hours later and she did the same, so since midnight she's had about 5oz total. Then I know she will guzzle all her milk tonite! Ive tried putting her in her Moses basket for naps today using cc, but all she has done is cry and has had one 15min nap. So I have now given in at 3.10pm and let her go to sleep on me! She won't take milk during the day and would happily sleep all day on me if I'd let her (which I don't ever) and wants to eat and be awake all nite! I don't know how to switch it around, I've spent all day crying, listening to her cry, being tired, I don't feel like I can cope anymore. I've asked my sister to come and help me, she lives an hour and a half away, so she's coming tomorrow thank god, until the end of the weekend. I'm not lazy, but this has knocked the stuffing out of me. I never thought I'd end up like this.

I'm trying to do the easy routine, have been for about six weeks, but this drinking more on a nite and nothing during the day hardly has started last week?! She used to feed more evenly before that.

Have you tried swaddling for day naps? I have a five month old DD who would only ever sleep on me during the day (she also had reflux which she's on meds for now). I started swaddling for day naps where I knew I'd be able to keep an eye on her and this helped as she'd still feel held when I put her down. Now she has a little nap routine - dummy, sleeping bag, white noise - and she settles well.

I've no advice for night waking a though, sorry. It sounds like a good plan to have your sister help, be kind to yourself OP

Thanks HoldenC. I used to swaddle to sleep but she started the wriggling free thing and waking up! So I've just got her used to sleep bag. She's never napped in Moses basket due to her having the reflux, I was constantly trying to settle her walking around in my arms or in the car. So now it just freaks her out. I've tried a few times to put her in basket swaddled or not, and each time she's cried without calming down. She's fast asleep straight away since I've just picked her up. Seriously!!

How was last night crazy?

Don't know if it's just a fluke HoldenC but she's taken a full bottle at 11am so hopefully is going to start drinking in the day (only milk!!!) I'll see how she goes on nxt feed. She's had a two hour nap this morning so, so far so good!! Fingers crossed for rest of day, hopefully get some more sleep tonight if she's fed well today!! She's also just started rolling on her side today!! Haha. She woke at 3.30am this morning but I fed her and put her back down, and she slept for another 3 quarters of an hour! So that's a start?!!

Long may it continue :-)

Nope bin up since 3.30am again

During the day do you leave her to demand a feed when she wants 1 or do you wake her for a feed? I wake my ds after 3.5 hrs in the day if he's not cried for a feed by then

Always do 3,7,11 feeds, she's usually awake for her feeds anyway so don't really have to wake her. I've just been reading about high needs babys? First I've heard, but seems to fit dd like a glove. I hope not. She's waking up that early that she's needing more naps, so her sleep routine is just out the window. I don't want her forming anymore bad habits by me letting her get up at 3.30am, but she's crying hard without being able to comfort. High needs babys apparently do better sleepwise if u co sleep, but I darent do it coz of the sids risk. God, I don't know how much more I can take of this, I feel like I've got flu or something, just drained tired eyes are sore got headache. I can't think of anything else to try. Thanks again for ur comments

Hi OP, I'm new as well and I could have written your post when my daughter was 4 months. The sleep regression hit us like a train. The only thing that worked for me was just going with it, it didn't last forever. When she was awake there was no point trying to get her back to sleep. We would be up at 2 for three hours and then a monster nap at 5! Nothing you can do about it so just catch up on some TV. I found trying to get her back to sleep was more stressful than going with the flow.

Don't worry about creating bad habits or messing up routines, I was so stressed about that too, but once we started solids her routine just fell into place (eventually), and after the little bugger stopped teething her sleep got much better. She even naps in her cot and buggy now! (Like you, she never ever napped anywhere except on me for the first six months). Have to admit I didn't have your worries about SIDS and I just napped with her. How about taking her back to bed with you for naps? Do all the no pillows / no duvet near her head etc safety stuff and just catch up on a bit of sleep.

Hope this helps. You are not the only one and it doesn't last forever! (Does feel like it though).

Thanks Zog!! thanks for all ur advice, that's great.... I've been trying to fight it for the last couple of weeks and making my life practically unbearable!! I will just get up at 3.30am and try her in bed with me. I think it's an nhs thing, where they put the fear of God in to u about co sleeping!! Also pressuring u to breastfeed and not to ween early etc. sometimes I think uv just got to do wots best for u. It does worry me as I know theres an increased risk, but if it's only for a couple of hours in a morning, I'll give it a go. Not sure hows best to do it? Do u let her sleep on u or just near u? It's true wot ur saying regards to it being more stressful trying to get her back to sleep than just getting up!! I'll see how it goes over the weekend....

I just propped myself up with cushions and had her on me, I felt safer that way, but whatever works for you is worth a shot! I think I've read on here that lots of the risk is if there's smokers in the house, that definitely made me feel better about co sleeping. You're no good as a mum if you're so tired you can't function!

Best of luck.