Dropping night feed..help soo tired!

[Crazybaby1]

Hey there, I'm a newbie, both on here and as a parent!! Dd is 4 months 2weeks. Ff.
She barely takes any formula during the day and has started taking 7oz bottles 2-3 in a row from 7pm feed! She's having a dream feed at 11pm and wakes at 2.30-3am and wants to stay awake like its party time!! I've tried plugging her dummy back in, patting back to sleep etc but not working. I keep her in bed as long as I can anyway, which is usually 5am!! I'm on my own as partner works away and is scared stiff of him on a weekend!! (Another story/problem) so I'm shattered. Can't sleep during day as I'm too busy, got five dogs to walk feed etc and feeding myself and taking a shower is getting sidelined BIG time. I never get my dinner at night as I have to go straight to bed when baby does to even try and gain a couple of hours. Dd does get herself off to sleep, I put her down drowsy. She has a dummy, but spits it Just before nodding off sleep! I've heard about offering water on feed u want to drop? But some are saying you shouldn't do it? would be happy if Dd would just sleep from 11pm until 6am. Help me please?!!

Could you speak to your health visitor about early weaning?

Huh, it's like ur the worse mum in the world! She just says its best to wait until six months. I'd have thought it would take at least six weeks to fully wean them anyway, so that would make her six months!! My hv is lovely, but just seems to like easy, straightforward questions that she is able to answer and chuff off asap!!! Anyway, iv just started to I try her with a plain bit of baby rice to try her with a thicker texture. She spat it out as expected but will try again in the morning!

The 4 month sleep regression is hell! But it does get better, as others have said go with the flow. Please don't worry about creating bad habits - that comes later. Babies change so quickly, their routines get messed up all the time so. O time for bad habits.
Remember to take care of yourself, you're no good to anyone if you don't.
As with weaning he advice is around 6 months but not before 17 weeks. I didn't find it made any difference to sleep what so ever so please don't wean early for that reason. The signs of readiness are - being able to sit up with support for several minutes (slumping can cause choking), being able to bring things to their mouth and chew, and losing the tongue thrust reflex (sticking tongue out when something is put in their mouth). If your baby is over 17 weeks and ticks those boxes they are ready for food.

How has baby fed and slept though the daytime today Crazy?

Yes, I found weaning helped with routine (we'd never been particularly routined but having mealtimes, once we got them established, helped milk feeds slot into place). But it made no difference to sleep. Sleep training and waiting till she was ready to sleep through we're what worked for us.

But it might help to get over any worries about ruining your routines just now, to bear in mind that you'll be weaning fairly soon in any case.

So does this "Hell" go on until they're about six months ish? Then they settle a bit better? She fed well today, having plenty of milk during day now and still drinking full bottles on a night, so I guess she just needed more milk in general!! It just seemed like a very quick jump! ...one minute she was drinking 18oz per day, then next she's drinking 26oz!! Instead of having set nap times, I've just let her sleep when tired today, as she's up that early, I can't really stick with any routine I had her in! So she's had two x two and a half hour naps, and gone to bed at an earlier time of 6.30pm. Her awake time has been much happier and more alert. Didn't wake her for a feed she slept through, I just fed when she woke up naturally, so I'll see how she sleeps tonight. So I've gone from crazy strict routine mummy, to letting my baby overrule everything I ever thought was right!! But so far so good, and like u say, it's only me stressing myself out!! I didn't realise babies changed their routine all the time, I just thought we told them wot to do!!!! Lol...crazy first time mum!!!! Doh! Why doesn't anyone ever tell u about these things before u become pregnant???!!! Everyone else's kids seem really dopey and easy to look after!!! My sisters kiddiwinkle just seemed very content and cud sleep on a clothes line!!! Lol. Might think again about the weaning then, I thought it might make her more full and content :/ I'm not doing a great job of this mothering business so far!! I'll let u know how she sleeps tonight. I've managed to have an hours extra sleep today as dd let my sister get her to sleep on her knee today!! Yippee! On the downside, I'm also having problems with dh due to the stress of not sleeping and my dh not trying to bond with dd so he can help me out on a weekend!! Apparently, cutting the grass and walking the dogs is enough!!!! Men are from Mars....blah blah!!! Thanks for help everyone, can't thank you enough xxx

I don't think new mums or can be told crazy, the only way to learn is by going through it.

I've heard someone say that strict routines like Gina Ford for first time Mums could be the cause of a large proportion of PND because of the anxiety it creates. The more experienced Mum understands the 'go with the flow' nature of flexibility needed in any routine.

The EASY routine allows for structure and predictability, but in a flexible baby-lead way. If you like structure that is. Just going with the flow is fine too.

crazy you are doing a FANTASTIC job at this mothering thing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Babies are unpredictable,fickle little things who simply won't be told what to do and when. However "prefossionals" make a lot of money making out mums are doing it wrong and selling us a miracle cure. Sounds like your DD is having a growth spurt, they happen annoyingly frequently. Until ready to wean, it is milk they need. Even when weaning milk makes up the bulk of their diet till nearer 1 year. When you start solids the portions are tiny and milk doesn't start to drop off for a few weeks at least. The 4 month sleep regression doesn't last 2 months though. For us it was maybe a couple of weeks. I can't remember exactly how long.
As for your DH, I'm guessing you've tried telling him what you need. Could you just be blunt and say "she's your responsibility, I'm going to bed with earplugs in" or similar? I send DH out for an hour with dog and baby so I can rest.

Dh has slept on the sofa last night! I got up and started sorting the dogs out, I asked if dh wanted to feed dd as she was due. Just trying to keep him involved and let dd get used to him. I'm going in to work was the reply I got!! I was in floods of tears on Thursday begging for him to help me and saying he was going to have to spend time with dd in order to give me a break. So he knows exactly wot I need!! Unfortunately he does silly things like coming to bed trying to talk to me when I'm trying to do a dream feed and takes the huff when I grubt at him to stay quiet!! Also getting a shower right nxt to her bedroom when I'm trying to get her to sleep, after he's spent all night watching telly!! He just doesn't get it!! It's very much like having two babies!!! Lol. Anyway, dd woke at 1am and thought it was party time, so I brought her in our bedroom and tried to go to sleep!! ..I was too scared to!! So I went and got her electric mammaroo swing, and after half an hour she slept, right through until 5.15am!!! Yaaaay, can't tell u how much better I feel for having gotten up at a normal time!!! Can't believe I was spending 2 & half hours trying to get her back to sleep in her cot!! Yer, I hear ya with regards to proffesionals making money from mothers anxiety!! One size doesn't fit all, but ur made to think if u follow x y and z, you will have the perfect baby. And when it doesn't work, u keep trying to adjust nap times, feeding etc, thinking u must be doing something wrong if this formula isn't working, I even thought my baby was an insomniac maniac!! lol. i certainly see how pnd cud develop, think if I'd have carried on, id have gone down that route! Little buttercup now seems happy and I am now regardless of Dhs antics!!! Weaning takes far longer than I thought!! Haha....sounds like this first year is a tough one! Glad I have mumsnet as a port of call! Thank you all so much, ur advice and guidance has made the world of difference xxx