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Original poster

Am I the only one whose 20 month old doesn't sleep through?!

48 replies

MissMia84 · 27/02/2015 06:42

Please tell me I am not the ony one?!

My 20 month has never slept through the night. Not once. I am so completely exhausted, I am a wreck. I long for him to sleep all night. I feel I can't enjoy life as not I because Am always so tired.

He goes to bed at about 7:30pm after the same bedtime routine. He usually wakes around 1am and 5am for a little tiny bottle of milk mixed with water, then goes straight to sleep until 7:30am. He naps at 1-3pm. He defintely needs his nap otherwise he gets really cranky and I find without napping his sleep that night is even worse.

However the last 6 weeks or so have been a nightmare. He goes down fine in his cot then wakes an hour or so later screaming. He stops screaming as soon as either myself or DS enter his room. We usually just sit next to the cot to get him to sleep. We rarely pick him up. He then will wake every 2 hours crying. Sometimes a small bottle will send him back off, but recently he's screamed blue murder until we cave and end up co sleeping. My poor husband usually takes the spare bedroom which is very uncomfortable for him. My son will sleep until about 5:30/6am when he will be up for the day. He is still napping at his usual time.

Please help me, any advice is greatly appreciated. I am so tired I feel like a zombie. I suffered from PNT when my son was 5 months old for about six months, I think due to sleep deprivation. My husband helps at weekends so I get a lie in but I am desperate to get my son sleeping through the night.

Help please!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
MissMia84 · 27/02/2015 06:44

Clearly sleep deprived, I meant my DS is silent when either myself of *DH enters the room. Someone pass me a coffee Brew

OP posts:
SmileAndNod · 27/02/2015 06:54

Me too. We co sleep and she's still waking to feed at least twice in the night. At the minute I'm trying to pat and shush her back to sleep with mixed success. She still has a morning nap (on me) and the minute I sit down she's all over me. Add in a child who wakes obscenely easy early and one other waking through nightmares and i'm shattered. We all are. We're on our knees and its just not sustainable.

Have no solutions I'm afraid. I'm hoping they will grow out of itConfused. Have a Brew. You probably need the caffeine, if you're anything like me!

GoooRooo · 27/02/2015 06:56

DS didn't sleep through until 2.6. I was a zombie. And now about yo have another - I pray I get a good sleeper this time!

Nolim · 27/02/2015 06:58

Have you considered sleep training? My dc was a horrible sleeper and i had to get back to work.
I felt like the worst mum in the world but Now a few months later we all sleep fine :)Flowers

Original poster
MissMia84 · 27/02/2015 07:03

Thanks for your replies.

NoLim Which method did you use? CIO seems mean Sad

OP posts:
Groovee · 27/02/2015 07:03

My Ds was 3 and a half before he slept through the night. He went from waking constantly to sleeping 13 and a half hours.

Now we can't get him to stay out of bed lol at 12.

BikeRunSki · 27/02/2015 07:07

I'm right with you. Fd didn't sleep through until shortly after her third birthday - about 3 months ago. It was hideous, I spent my whole time tired, snappy and headachy, seemed to survive on Red Bull and carbs.

Cranial osteopathy helped a bit. We got her to go to bed using cc (9 particularly painful days), but I think she just grew out of the night wakings. Couldn't do cc in the night because of older child.

Original poster
MissMia84 · 27/02/2015 07:07

13.5 hours is what dreams are made of. Wow, imagine that.
I don't even need that much sleep, Im fine on 7 hours it's just the broken sleep is killing me!!!

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 27/02/2015 07:07

Fd = DD

Nolim · 27/02/2015 07:09

Yes cio is mean. I think i use ferberizing or something like that? First you let them cry for 5 mins, go and check, leave again for 5 mins and so on and increase the intervals every day.
It took a couple of weeks but i could not go on sleep deprived like that.

Original poster
MissMia84 · 27/02/2015 07:10

BikeRunSki Good shout with the cranial osteopathy. You just reminded me I took DS to one when he was around six months and it helped him sleep slightly. How could I forget I did that??!! Sleep deprivation = memory loss?! Shock

I'll be contacting the osteopath in a few hours when it opens!!

OP posts:
SmileAndNod · 27/02/2015 07:11

Groovee - I can't imagine my eldest ever wanting to stay in bed as teenagers do. Will that day come? Will it?!

My holy grail is getting them all to sleep at the same time for at least a couple of hours. Hopefully before I keel over, I'm a broken woman...

Original poster
MissMia84 · 27/02/2015 07:12

NoLim The Ferber Method, yes. I've just been googling it. Im going to start this weekend. Flowers

OP posts:
SmileAndNod · 27/02/2015 07:13

Nolim - I couldn't use that method either. Just couldn't leave them to cry, even for a few minutes

YorkshireTeaGold · 27/02/2015 07:23

Hi! I have a 16mth old who's had some sleep issues but she does usually sleep through. You have my total sympathy, sleep deprivation is awful and has seriously impacted my mental health.

Firstly what I thought in your op is you should stop the bottles. Will just be a habit at this age and will encourage waking. Both my Dds were shitty sleepers til we nightweaned.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing in terms of settling in cot, just don't engage or give in and cosleep. I dont think you have to do cio/cc/pupd or any complex or ridgid plan. Just be firm in your boundaries of not getting him out of his room. I also leave dd2 to cry for a bit as she does often go back off.

I do think this is a particularly crap age in terms of teething and dd2 has caught everything this winter as it's her first at nursery which hasn't helped. Just think though, at 20 months you've done the worst and hopefully a decent nights sleep is just around the corner.

Cooper11111 · 27/02/2015 07:54

Definitely go cold turkey with the bottles- doesn't need them at that age. It's like when we wake up in the am and think oh I need tea or coffee- that's what he is doing when he stirs in the night. It's a habit.

I personally would sleep train if I was you. People are very negative about CC but it is effective and fairly quick and teaching your baby how to sleep is an essential skill. You have gone through months of misery leading to PND, within 3 or 4 nights it would be done. Happier parents- happier baby! He shouldn't be eating at night at that age. I did sleep training with my ds at 5 months, life changing!!!

Nolim · 27/02/2015 08:16

Good luck op Flowers

Smileandnod (nice name btw) i delayed sleep training for as long as i could because it feels aweful to hear your baby cry like that. But i had no choice since i had to work!
In hindsight i dont regret sleep training. But then hindsight is 20/20.

hideandseekpig · 27/02/2015 08:21

I went cold turkey with milk at night and in 3 nights dd slept through majority of the time . HV said to me she doesn't need milk or water in the night only offer water if she really won't settle and you think she is thirsty or if poorly. Dd is 1 btw

Usually if she does wake up we just walk up and down with her for a while then put her back - no eye contact nothing fun at all .

Good luck !

NanoNinja · 27/02/2015 08:24

DS1 is 2.4 yrs and was an awful sleeper between 18 months and 24 months, waking up to 5 times a night. I look back on it now and don't know how we got through it. The imminent arrival of DD1 forced us to take action and we hired a sleep consultant who worked miracles without crying it out. Last couple of months DS1 has been ill and DD1 has arrived, but his sleep has been pretty good throughout. Would really recommend - we used Sian Thomas at Sleepbabies.

poocatcherchampion · 27/02/2015 08:28

We've had recent problems with our 18mo. We've started leaving her to it as us going in and out seems to ramp it up.so I go in and resettle her then say sleepy time and mummy will be back soon.

Last night she only winged and didn't rage so we are getting there I hope.

TittingAbout · 27/02/2015 08:37

It might not be about the bottles at all.
There is a massive regression with separation anxiety at around 18 months. Do you think it could be that? If it is, he just needs you, which is why he is quiet when you go in.
CC could make it much worse.

AndThisIsTrue · 27/02/2015 08:48

My DS is 23 months and his sleep has just started sleeping better and occasionally sleeping through. We didn't do sleep training, I couldn't do it. What we have done is gradually night wean by not offering milk and trying to settle without I unless he is really not happy. I also used to cuddle him to sleep and I have been gradually putting him down earlier so he falls asleep without an intervention from me.
Sounds like your DS is already at the stage where he doesn't need much help from you to fall asleep. Maybe you can try gradual retreat so he gets used to falling asleep with out you in the room? Does he have a teddy or comforter? This has also helped my DS as he has started saying goodnight to his two teddies and tucking them in etc. so as long as he has them when he wakes in the night he just rolls over and goes back to sleep.
Oh and there is also a 18 month sleep regression which would explain why your DS has got worse recently! Good luck, sleep deprivation sucks!

Groovee · 27/02/2015 11:40

My eldest was a great sleeper and still loves her bed. But I never imagined ds ever staying in his own bed or wanting his bed. It's nice to get long lies etc.

Dh and I were talking about it the other day and wonder how we managed. Ds literally went over night sleeping so well. Didn't know what the hell had happened.

Even our old HV who was a sleep specialist had no idea what to do when her proven strategies failed to work on him.

ChocolatePecanPie · 27/02/2015 21:21

My daughter started sleeping through at 23mths. We didn't do anything, just waited it out and night weaned around 21/22mths. Just offered water.

They all get there.

trilbydoll · 27/02/2015 21:28

My 21mo doesn't sleep through, she wakes up to come in with us. We spent 6 weeks from Xmas trying to get her to stay in her bed, DH ended up ill from getting so tired and we just thought sod it. She goes straight back to sleep once in our bed.

She can sleep through, she has done it maybe 15 times? I am thinking she will get there eventually and for now I just want maximum sleep.

My problem with sleep training is I worry that if she got ill, it would all be for nothing. If there was a guarantee it would be permanent I would be a bit more up for it!

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