Am I the only one whose 20 month old doesn't sleep through?!

[MissMia84]

Please tell me I am not the ony one?!

My 20 month has never slept through the night. Not once. I am so completely exhausted, I am a wreck. I long for him to sleep all night. I feel I can't enjoy life as not I because Am always so tired.

He goes to bed at about 7:30pm after the same bedtime routine. He usually wakes around 1am and 5am for a little tiny bottle of milk mixed with water, then goes straight to sleep until 7:30am. He naps at 1-3pm. He defintely needs his nap otherwise he gets really cranky and I find without napping his sleep that night is even worse.

However the last 6 weeks or so have been a nightmare. He goes down fine in his cot then wakes an hour or so later screaming. He stops screaming as soon as either myself or DS enter his room. We usually just sit next to the cot to get him to sleep. We rarely pick him up. He then will wake every 2 hours crying. Sometimes a small bottle will send him back off, but recently he's screamed blue murder until we cave and end up co sleeping. My poor husband usually takes the spare bedroom which is very uncomfortable for him. My son will sleep until about 5:30/6am when he will be up for the day. He is still napping at his usual time.

Please help me, any advice is greatly appreciated. I am so tired I feel like a zombie. I suffered from PNT when my son was 5 months old for about six months, I think due to sleep deprivation. My husband helps at weekends so I get a lie in but I am desperate to get my son sleeping through the night.

Help please!!!!

About a month ago after a bad run of night waking from my ds (then 20mths) I put my pillow in his cot. Since then he has slept through, I can hear him stir sometimes but he even resettles himself. Every night I swap the pillow in his cot for the one I slept on the night before so it smells 'ripe'
No idea if it would work for others (or even if it'll continue to work for me) but it could be worth trying?

Have you tried the baby whisperer technique? It's not as harsh as CIO but is very effective.

Thank you all - there is hope yet!

I know he doesn't need the milk on the night. Last night proved this. He stirred and was about to get v upset when I went in and sat on the floor next to him "ssssshhhhhh"ing him. He was asleep within minutes.

EternalBeauPlate Can you tell me more about this technique?

Ds only slept through from about 19 months and it's still not guaranteed at 30 months.
We basically moved him out of the cot into a normal single in a v darkened room with a bed guard. We stopped bringing him in with us but would always go into sleep with him instead of the co sleeping bit. Somehow after 2 nights he slept through. He now sleeps through 5 out of 7. Sometime he wakes one of us sits on the end of bed and rubs his feet and sneaks out and he'll stay asleep. We had night weaned at 7 months though.

Yes my DD is nearly 20 months and she does not believe in sleep. Up at 7am this morning (after a quick feed at 6am) and despite only having a ten minute nap at 2pm, and two hours at adventure play as well as an exciting time running round Grandparents house (she literally has not stopped all day) she fell asleep for half hour at 6pm (before Id managed to get her PJs on or do the bedtime routine) and then woke up at 7.30pm. Usually she won't go down until 11pm. Then back up at 6ish, if she doesn't decide to go for a walk at 3am so tired lol...

It's Tracy Hogg - baby whisperer technique. If you google it there should be more info. I think she has a book about it. There was a programme on tv she was on, I don't know if it is on now as I watched it years ago but you might be able to find it on YouTube. I will have a look and post another message here if I find anything

Spent from 2;45am lying on the floor next to his cot humming, stroking his hair etc. He had a small bottle and has his CD player on. Was still and silent the whole time I was in there but could tell he wasn't asleep. Crept out at 4am. All hell broke loose!!!!!

DS started screaming, kicking the sides of his cot in frustration, . Husband woke, shouted at me (becoming a nightly thing). DH has stomped off to the spare room and taken DS with him. DS wins again - there's Nothing wrong with him. Im so sick of this. I just want to go to bed, sleep all night and wake up next to my husband at a reasonable hour ~ I haven't woken up next to him in months now. It brings me to tears most nights. Will it ever change?!

This sounds so similar to my 22 month old, who has never slept through and whom we shamefully give at least one bottle to in the night (usually two though). She has only in the last couple of months stopped screaming her head off every night when we put her into her cot. We still have to stay in the room with a hand on her back or holding her hand til she falls asleep. If she wakes again soon after a night feed it takes ages to persuade her to be quiet, lie down and go back to sleep and of course we have to stay while she drops off.

She shares a room with her 3yo sister and we also have a 5mo so we're too scared to night wean as she will kick off massively and wake everyone else up ( and they're not great sleepers themselves). Do some kids just really hate bed and sleep?

MissMia There are 6 years between my DS1 and DS2 simply because DS1 was just as you describe and didn't sttn until he was 4yrs 10 months and then it took us a good while to feel strong enough to go through it all again. We hoped, second time around, it might be different but sadly DS2 is now 26 months and still wakes several times a night EVERY night without fail. About the only thing keeping us going is the knowledge we've survived it once before. I have to be honest though, we are right at our limit now and the sleep deprivation is effecting all aspects of our lives so I am really keen to read if anyone on this thread has a magic cure. DH and I both work full time and DS1 is at school so leaving DS2 to cry doesn't seem fair on anyone, although it is me who does 99% of the night time duty mostly because DS2 won't settle for anyone else. I night weaned him at 22 months (after several horrific nights of crying) but it hasn't helped. I too never wake up in my own bed and long for a proper, undisturbed night where I wake up next to my husband. I have no answers but you 100% have my understanding and sympathy

My 19 month DD is the same, apart from a brief couple of months at about 12 months the only time she's slept through is when we cosleep. So that's what we do, she sleeps with me and DH sleeps in her bed. It's not ideal but we couldn't take the exhaustion and no sleep training worked for her, she's got the stamina to scream for hours if need be. We've got 4YO DS too and it wasn't fair on him to be woken by screaming in the night.
I was very resentful of being 'made' to cosleep at the start but now we just accept it and know it'll come to an end eventually. We need the sleep.

Oh MissMia I've just seen your last post and that's exactly what it was like in our house before we accepted the cosleeping. DH and I would be snapping and arguing with eachother about how to deal with it in the middle of the night, tired and angry and upset that we couldn't just sleep in our own bed and sleep all night.
We just admitted defeat and it really is better, in our house at least. She goes to bed in our bed and I sit outside the room until she's asleep, which usually takes about 5 minutes, then she stays asleep until I go to bed and stays asleep all night and we all get a proper nights sleep.

Thanks all for your support. Knowing Im not the only one with a sleepless child is very reassuring!

As predicted he's now started fighting bed time, either myself of my DH have to sit in his room and hum until he is asleep. He then wakes a few hours later and just won't settle so co-sleeping it is! I guess I've finally admitted defeat, the most sleep is my main objective now! The problem for me is that I am a very light sleeper so last night whilst DS was in my bed I was aware of every cough, sneeze and movement - I had 2.5 hour sleep! Luckily DH took him from 5:45am so I was able to get a little more sleep. DS just had an hours sleep on my chest (he usually naps in the afternoon) so he's clearly tired.

I hope it gets better soon. We are going to florida for 3 weeks in May and I really hope he's sleeping by then!

I'm a light sleeper too and at the start I found it difficult to have a proper sleep as I was so aware of DD and constantly checking with duvet wasn't over her face etc. I'm not much more used to it and can sleep properly so hopefully it'll get better for you. Could your DH take turns with you to cosleep with him? That way you'd get a good nights sleep even every few nights.

V jealous about Florida BTW!

I had the exact same thing with my 26 month old I thought I had tried EVERYTHING. I was losing my mind and I wasn't doing great at work. My friend told me she had worked with this lady that is a child sleep consultant and I told her there is no way that I could get my DD to sleep through the night. Anyway I waited a few weeks but then I reached a point where I would give my left arm (and leg actually) for help. I contacted her and now we it's been 2 months. I can happily say my daughter is sleeping through the night. There are some nights here and there that she will wake, but if that happens it's because she's had an excitable day or she isn't feeling too well. I used Nicole from Bedtime Sleeptime.

tigerlilly08 You are the 3rd person to suggest a sleep consultant/therapist.... and the 3rd person to highly recommend them. Thank you for the name. How does it work exactly? Does the sleep consultant stay the night? I have no idea about it but I am definitely keen to find out more so any info you had would be great - I too feel that Im at my wits end!

Thank you a so much for your comments, suggestions and advice. It pains me to say he's not getting any better. Worse, if anything. DH and I are exhausted, surely my DS is too?!

It's been every night for six weeks solid now. DS is just not sleeping through at all and is wanting to start the day at 4:30am

My DH and I are both exhausted and I probably cry every day about it(I know it won't help but I feel like Im at breaking point)

A few people have suggested sleep therapists. They are pricey, starting at £250. We can afford t. It would obviously tackle it without paying so much.

Could anybody tell me what a ST does? Have you used one with great results? Is it a waste of money?

Thanks x

I meant: we would rather tackle the problem without paying so much

I so sympathise. My dd is 28 months and has never slept through.. she has improved however since dropping her nap. I know your ds isn't ready for that as it makes his sleep worse (been there), but could you try cutting it a bit, say to an hour? Then experiment a bit.

I'm finding my dd sleeps best (ie just wAkes once or twice) when she's had a 10min power nap which just takes the edge off so she's not so tired she forgets how to sleep.

To the poster whose child suddenly started sleeping 13 and a half hours..that's the dream!!

My DD hasn't slept through yet at 23 months, we co-sleep & she wakes at 11, 2 & 4 usually,
I go to work like a zombie, I could cry most days too,

Could you take it in turns with DH, so you get a full nights sleep on your own?

Ring the sleep consultant first thing!

I've had 2 none sleepers. I can only sympathise op

I probably have my son 5 nights and DH has him 2 nights. He gets up early for work and I can always catch an hour at nap time so feel guilty leaving DS with him as he kicks and wriggled about!

Im going to give Sian Thomas at SleepBabies a call this morning. I think somebody on here recommended her? X

UPDATE:

We contacted Sian Thomas at Sleep Babies are we are 5 days in to the sleep training - and my son has slept through 3 nights now! It's so much easier than I thought t would be too - DS has taken to it like a fish to water. Im not saying it's easy but I am definitely seeing results and have this new found strength and determination. My DS has stayed in his cot all night every night since Friday. Sian is a miracle worker and anyone having similar problems should definitely call her. £200 May seem a lot but Sian does so much for her money and you are in contact every day. Im so pleased to be finally getting some sleep. Xxx