'Never let a baby sleep on its tummy on your chest' feeling guilty

[ElleOhElle]

Just read an article that said' never let a baby sleep on its tummy on your chest' Well this is pretty much how DS 14weeks and I spend most of the night or neither of us get any sleep. He's EBF and I fall asleep while feeding him. I wake up often and he's asleep or mouthing to get back on the breast. ideally I'd love to get him back in the crib each time he feeds but it's just not happening.
Can someone tell me why it's so bad for him to sleep like this? I understand any co-sleeping comes with SIDS risk but I'd like to know why this position is such a massive No No!
The problem is I just don't know how I'm going to stop it happening, I physically cannot stay awake! !

Sleeping on their tummy is one of the largest SIDS risks, wherever it is they are sleeping. In a cot, I understand you can get an angelcare monitor which checks for breathing at all times. But this can't be used when he's sleeping on you.

Baby sleeping on tummy on your chest while you are awake would be much less of a problem, because you can watch him all the time. But when you are sleeping, the problem comes from the fact that (I assume) your baby cannot roll over and may not be able to turn his head in his sleep. So should he get into such a position that is mouth and nose were muffled into your skin, he would be unable to move so that he could breath again.

Therefore your son could suffocate on your chest while you were sleeping and you wouldn't notice because he would be unable to cry out or move to alert you. Once your DS is old enough to move (roll front to back especially) then the risk will reduce because he will be better able to move if he cannot breath.

This is a really unpleasant thing to be talking about, but you did ask.

please someone tell me I'm not the only one doing this. feel like shit now. I guess I just felt like I would pick up on him moving about etc, I'd be more worried about him lying next to me cos there's more chance I'd get too comfortable and go into a deeper sleep.
really want to get him into his crib.

There will be people who do this, but that unfortunately doesn't change the risk. You may find some people through the thread. I know a small number of Mums whos baby sleeps on their tummy in the cot, but not on them.

Personally if it was me I would be working very hard to get baby at least co-sleeping safely, or in the cot.

You are not the only one. DS slept like that on me until he was about six months old - he's now four. I read in a we chat on this site that there are no statistics at all regarding this this way of sleeping and SIDS, which suggests that it rarely happens. Check the question in the SIDS section in this link: www.mumsnet.com/onlinechats/helen-ball

Both mine did/do this... Obviously that doesn't mean that it is safe, but if always felt quite comfortable doing it...

Studies of co-sleeping safety found it's no more risky than any other type of sleeping after 14 weeks: www.isisonline.org.uk/where_babies_sleep/parents_bed/

I did with all three of mine. I was very happy with it!

And I always felt that the baby being so close to my heartbeat and breathing - so that he could physically feel them, somehow kept him safe. ( No evidence to link to, but I do remember reading that that that's one of the reasons young babies should be at least sleeping in the same room as parents)

Do NOT feel shitty!

I got a massive lecture of my HV for not giving DS a dummy as it helps aids because I believe they only cry when they need something they're ugly and I was very luckily the he rarely cried. He also slept on his front! if turn his head to the side and wrap him up because one night I went to the loo and came back to him choking on his vomit! He was vomiting silently as they do! If I had been asleep he would of died ever since then he's slept on his front even now and Id make sure this one sleeps on his front too if he's sickly!

I never co slept so he was always in a Moses basket or his cot! Do not feel bad!

Elleohelle

This is how my refluxey screamer slept for the first few months of his life. He really struggled with being lay down. DP and I took shifts at first staying awake but this stopped when DP went back to work.

He eventually settled in a co-sleeper crib tilted to an angle and I was able to BF lay down on my side which meant I felt more comfortable falling asleep.

I also found buying a sling really helped. When DS was about 4 months I would get him off to sleep in the sling as I pottered about then sneak him down into his cot and found he stayed asleep a lot more than if we'd just lay still together and then I moved him. I'm not sure why!

Hope you manage a solution soon it's so stressful early on with a clingababy who won't sleep without you.

Yes - we definitely did the chest sleeping - and I don't agree with FATE that you can extrapolate the data from tummy sleepers alone to chest tummy sleepers.

For example - there have been studies that sleeping close to another person reduces SIDs risk - because the adults breathing helps the baby regulate their breathing.

You mentioned breastfeeding.

I was extremely tuned in to my babies while bf. We largely co-slept - and I was always 'aware' of how they were and where they were - and our sleeping rhythms aligned.

I honestly, genuinely think that this closeness is protective for the baby.

My ds slept on me like this for his naps, but this was during the day and I stayed awake reading, so could monitor him. I think the risks in this situation are minimal.

I would definitely try to avoid the situation you are describing at night as it is quite risky if you are falling asleep too. It has happened to me accidentally once when I fell asleep while waiting for him to resettle and I woke with a start, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it every night.

In your position I would try and get him back into his cot after each feed and at the very least set your bed up so if you accidentally fall asleep the risk is minimised.

I co-slept with both of mine from six months when they could roll, sit up and were bigger and more robust generally but I have my bed set up so this is as safe as possible. Bed guard, no pillow or duvet, fed while lying down on my side, always with me, never with DH or in between me and DH.

DD did this a lot while I was awake but I wouldn't have risked sleeping while she was on me. I think the risk of overheating might be quite high if you're skin to skin too, which is another SIDs risk.

Oh and don't feel bad, there's no reason

I slept like this with my son for a good while, we always co slept though. I used to get a bit of a sore lower back but I miss that time so much all the same. The Isis website linked to above is great for decent info re cosleeping.

The likelihood of your baby suffocating on your chest is infinitesimal. More babies die from SIDS in their own cot than they do cosleeping, please don't beat yourself up about it. If you've found something that works go with it.

DS2 slept like this while I was still in hospital with him, it was the only way he would sleep at night. The midwives would actually help me settle him on me - I had a section and couldn't lift him out of his cot while I was in bed.

This kind of sleeping is recommended for prem babies I thought? So I can't understand the hysteria.

Please don't feel bad OP :)

When I had my DDs over 20 years ago, babies were not allowed to sleep on their backs! They would chock on their own sick.

I knew several people who let their babies sleep on their backs as it was the only way they would sleep. And it turns out they were doing the right thing for their babies.

Please don't feel guilty, we all just do out best for our babies.

We do it, but only if we are awake eg lying on the sofa. But DS is formula fed. I can understand how ebf means he and you do it.

thank you for the reassuring and supportive msgs
feeling a bit less rubbish now, will continue to try and get him in his crib but won't beat myself up so much about it. Thank you.
Welcome any msgs for or against this way of baby sleeping as it helps to hear different opinions to make a more informed decision decision.

As in when the mother is sitting up or lying down? Or are both bad? I was thinking yesterday that sitting up with the baby on your chest might be a good thing to do with a refluxy baby (just musing, not even a mother yet).

I spent't months sleeping like this with two of mine. Only way they slept. i think it is safer in a bed than a sofa but i don't have any stats to back that up just remember bring told babies sleeping on sofas was a Bad Thing.

DC1 napped like this until about 4 months. DC2 slept night and day like this. It's not what I would have chosen but it was the only way to get some sleep!!

The stage passed for both of them at about 3-4 months. Such a short time in their lives. A zip up swaddle suit (love to swaddle) helped one of them sleep flat on their backs. But only once they were ready to. Google the 4th trimester.

i was told to do skin to skin with my ds on the post natal ward (on my chest, so basically what youre describing) for hours and hours because his temperature was a bit low. It never occurred to me that was something i shouldnt do! That was only October, i was also told in ante natal classes that skin to skin helps regulate their body temp if they have a fever. Obviously falling asleep isnt great (but my ds has always had pretty good head control) but if i thought i might fall asleep i always put myself in the middle of the bed and moved all pillows etc out of the way.I still let ds fall asleep like that a lot (like right now!) as hes got a few tummy issues and my hv advised keeping him upright after a feed, i have no idea how else you would do that!