'Never let a baby sleep on its tummy on your chest' feeling guilty

[ElleOhElle]

Just read an article that said' never let a baby sleep on its tummy on your chest' Well this is pretty much how DS 14weeks and I spend most of the night or neither of us get any sleep. He's EBF and I fall asleep while feeding him. I wake up often and he's asleep or mouthing to get back on the breast. ideally I'd love to get him back in the crib each time he feeds but it's just not happening.
Can someone tell me why it's so bad for him to sleep like this? I understand any co-sleeping comes with SIDS risk but I'd like to know why this position is such a massive No No!
The problem is I just don't know how I'm going to stop it happening, I physically cannot stay awake! !

As my lovely HV once said to me, what exactly is the alternative? If you bf, then chances are at some point you'll fall asleep with them while feeding! At the pitch of sleep deprivation with a tiny baby, I barely knew what day it was, and staying awake was sometimes literally impossible. Fwiw, all three of mine slept mostly on me for months, and my son was 14 weeks premature. I tried to stay awake as much as I could, but didn't always manage it!

(Obviously my ds only slept like that once was was no longer 14 weeks prem! Don't think the NICU nurses would have let me fall asleep while holding small baby on a ventilator!!!)

GotToBeInItToWinIt I would have thought skin to skin would lessen the risk of overheating - thought it helped baby to regulate temp?

OP, it's research statistics to do with placing baby to sleep on tummy. Current advice is on back, feet to foot of cot, no co-sleeping is the safest way to be, but this has changed over time (when I was a baby it was on tummy, my brother was on his side!). However I had a community midwife who was all for co-sleeping - then a HV that was horrified at the slightest chance of dozing with baby.

DD also BF, exclusively slept on her front on people's chests for the first few days, gradually night times moved to Moses basket for night but nap times always on chests, unless in pram/car. she has literally in the last couple of months (now 11 months) started having morning nap in the cot, but if she sleeps in the afternoon its on a chest. I used to fall asleep with her there too - exhaustion does that to you, don't feel bad.

If it is going to happen anyway, like you said you can't stop yourself, maybe try to make it as safe a possible - have you got a widgey pillow or something so he can't roll off? Or (if you wanted to consider co-sleeping - I never felt able to do this but a friend of mine did) try BFing on your side with baby next to you on the bed? that way he wouldn't roll off you.

She mostly slept on tummy in the cot as soon as she could roll over, incidentally...couldn't really stop her doing that in the night, even when she could only go one way.

When my son was very young I was worried about the co- sleeping/ cot death risk. I called the SIDS helpline who admitted to me that co- sleeping done properly is safer than leaving a baby in a cot ( it's called COT- death). Their problem was , in their words, that they only had people's attention for a few seconds, and they couldn't rely on people taking in all the safety issues. I believe they published an article in the Guardian explaining this . The risks are smoking, too many covers, alcohol use, sleeping on sofas. When done with minimal risk, co- sleeping babies are at less risk from cot death than cot babies. But people have to make sure the risks are minimal ( and they can't always be trusted to do that)

Lots of people do this, DS2 would only sleep like this at first.

Instinctively, this feels like a safer and more natural way for a baby to sleep than in a cot - surely this is how we evolved? And I don't think there is any data on risks of this.

My only worry would be the baby rolling off or getting tangled up in the covers, so I think you'd need to be alert to this.

thanks, I make sure he's not going to get tangled in any covers or too hot etc.
I do find it very natural to sleep like this I just thought I'd totally mucked up and I was the only one doing it!!? So pleased to hear some reassuring points of view.

My mum slept 3 children face down in a cot (obviously not strictly face down) and we all survived. When mine arrives I will also do the same as I am more worried about the risk of asphyxia due to inhaling vomit on their backs, than the risk of SIDS. SIDS is scary but much less of a risk than asphyxia IMO.

Health visitors and most others will disagree for sure

I used to feed DS like this, he would drop to sleep and then I would gently roll back from him. He only slept with human contact in those days! Maybe your baby would sleep like this too? It made feeding/sleeping much easier in the early days, though I chose to get him out of the habit at about 5 months and he started sleeping through after that.

AuntieDee, SIDS is statistically the most common cause of death for young babies, not choking - and that's after the campaign to sleep babies on their backs in the nineties cut the SIDS rate by around 50%. Your opinion doesn't mean anything.

I understand why people sometimes might weigh up the risks and decide to break some of the SIDS guidelines, I did myself by co sleeping and sometimes letting my baby sleep alone for short periods before 6 months, but let's not misguide parents about the risks here, the OP needs to make an informed decision.

let's not terrify them either, or make them feel bad...

My three week old ds is asleep on my chest and I'm Co sleeping whilst bf him.
Don't beat yourself up op x

Please don't feel bad! I co slept with my DS for 11 Months (Not through my choice, through His!!) and when He was tiny He would sleep on my Chest. I would prop myself up with Pillows, under my Head and Arms, so there was no way either of us were moving! As He got older, He would sleep on His side, with my Arm under His Neck. I tried so many times to put Him to sleep in His own Moses Basket/Cot on His back. But He just wasn't having any of it! We did what we felt was best at the time, and what worked for us. He's now a beautiful 19 Month Old Boy, and Sleeps in His own Cot no problem Your doing a great Job xxx

I hope the OP knows that I was not trying to make her feel bad since I said that I co slept myself, and I hope I didn't. My second comment was directed at Dee, not the OP, because it's important that parents have all the facts straight when making decisions which affect their babies health so I feel that it's unethical to feed parents incorrect information on this subject. This was very important to me when I was in the OP's situation, which is why I perhaps reacted strongly.

lettuce
your post read perfectly well to me.
I just wanted to reassure the op that she isn't on her own with how she is managing

Yes, to me too lettuce. We all take risks, it's inevitable, but we need to do so having weighed up the actual evidence, rather than the stuff that we've made up in our heads! Statements like 'SIDS is scary but much less of a risk than asphyxia IMO' are very depressing. It isn't a matter of opinion, you're demonstrably wrong!

It's like saying 'IMO I prefer to cook using petrol and a pile of twigs, as I think gas cookers are lethal'. Bonkers!

I had a baby like this and ended up cosleeping as otherwise neither of us would've had any sleep. If you want to co-sleep, could you try making it a bit safer, having him lying next to you (with you lying down too) with your arm kind of around (not over) him? No pillows and no duvet near him. Can you feed lying down? This worked well for us and I felt it was safe.