Newborn middle of night restless time - am I a terrible mum?

[RevoltingPeasant]

DD is 15 days old. She is a very placid busby and a good sleeper generally.

However, she goes through a restless time every night between about midnight and 3am where she will not settle.

The obvious answer is bf, but by that time, she has fed fussily for so long that there is nothing left. Also due to her slow growth the MW is having us do EBM top ups after every feed, so after her midnight feed there really is nothing left. The MW has also said I shouldn't let her "use me as a dummy" ie not just play suck if not feeding. Also due to growth issues we are doing formula top ups too so when she is put down at this time, she has everything in my breasts and formula.

So I don't think (??) it is hunger.

Right now, I don't know what else to do so am just settling her next to me, talking to her, stroking her, and getting little 20min driblets of sleep when she goes off for a bit.

This goes on for a couple of hours till I feel there is milk again.

Is that the right thing to do or am I somehow not meeting her needs? :(

[mrsmugoo]

There is no such thing as "being used as a dummy" Dummies are used as nipples!

Breastfeeding is as much about comfort as nutrition so if your LO wants to suck then it's fine, let them.

[RevoltingPeasant]

Thanks everyone! This has been really helpful. We had a sort of duvet day today as did not get up till noon and went back to bed at just gone six and only just woke up so much for my strict three hourly feeds!



Fate interesting about dummies. I will bear it in mind.

Perspective, also interesting that this was her lively time in the womb, and when she was born ( waters broke exactly still midnight, born 2.22am).

She's my first so this is all really helpful!

[Katekoom]

My dd was exactly the same, keep feeding is my advice. Our girl lost 12% too and i did formula topups but only for 20 hours until whe was back within the acceptable 10%.

Best advice i had from a mw was when it was really hard (no sleep for days) co-sleep, but safely! It saved me. But do follow the guidelines which you’ll find via Google.

Also speak to some bfing experts about her latch/your nipples, i used FAB breastfeeding support, they're amazing.

Keep up the good work, it'll all get easier siob, im just 2 weeks ahead of you and it already feels much improved.

[RevoltingPeasant]

Thanks Kate :)

We had a better night last night as we had an early evening catnap, then I didn't feel so tired around midnight so stayed up determinedly feeding away till gone one, and she did eventually give up and go to sleep, so hurrah! Slept about one-thirty till four-thirty and then six till ten, which is definitely live-able with.

[Lagoonablue]

Sounds promising! Just let your baby lead where feeding is concerned. They usually know what they need!

[mrsmugoo]

A 3 hour block and a 4 hour block wow! I didn't sleep longer than 2.5 hours in a row til about 5 months!

[dragonfly007]

Peasant , how are you all doing?

[RevoltingPeasant]

Thanks for asking :)

We had a good night and then two back ones

Tbh I think it is my fault as we had house guests down and I didn't make sure we got a nap together in the early evening. By midnight she was just overtired so I fed as much as I could and then used a dummy which settled her and she slept for four hours, so I think she was exhausted, poor thing.

I went to my local latch on group this morning and they said to use the dummy if need be as we needed to make sure she got sleep. Her latch is okay but not brilliant, but they said that will come and it sounded like she was overtired rather than hungry.

So plodding on, and we'll see!

The blessing is, she seems to sleep quite soundly after 3am so with a lie-in till 10am that is sanity-saving.....!

[dragonfly007]

Sounds like its working, how is her weight doing?

[RevoltingPeasant]

Hi Dragon :)

Good news, she was over her birth weight this morning and we are now officially discharged from MW care! Also last night I settled her at 12.45 and she slept till 5 am, and then again after feeding from 6.30-9.35, so we are feeling pretty positive.

Just taking it night by night but with an evening cat nap and lots of milk before 1am she seems to settle pretty well most of the time. Fingers crossed!! She was 3 weeks yesterday so I think we are doing okay...?

[dragonfly007]

That sounds brilliant, well done