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Original poster

just had neighbours call police over crying baby . upset

27 replies

cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 05:52

I am single mum of two kids - 1 and 8

I have no support from family or friends or the kids dads

My eldest has special needs as often exhibits very challenging behaviours d is hard to get to sleep. My youngest is a fab sleeper, 7 to 7 since early age!

I am very strong and do my best - but I am tired. Really, really bloody tired. And having trouble sleeping lately as lying awake worrying a lot

Tonight I managed to get to sleep just after 2am. My kids were in bed at 7 and,8. After a long week!

However at 330 am I woke in a daze to a loud knocking and my phone ringing - it was the police at ny door! They had had a call that my youngest was crying and neighbour was concerned... Turns out my baby monitor was off - awful I know but she's in the room next door to me and it is out of character for her to wake, she usually sleeps through , I admit I should check it is on each night though

When they looked around n saw my baby they were reassured every thing was ok n left, they were really really nice about it (even though my house is a bit of a bomb site tonight, it's a small flat n can get a little cluttered I admit!) my baby went straight back to sleep after a little drink.

However I'm left feeling really really awful. Cant sleep now n tomorrow going to be even worse zombie Than usual
A) I didn't wake up when my baby was crying - this terrified me
B) don't get why the neighbour called police instead of buzzing my (LOUD!) outside buzzer even - this could have been done anonymously and would have woken me up no prob

I'm just scared of what people think of me as it is n now every time my kids have a tantrum going to feel some "concerned" do gooder is gonna be calling god knows who. When if they really cared they'd come round n offer help not call the police.

I'm a sweet, nice, friendly well spoken woman and not scary or intimidating, everyone in this apartment block knows this, so why???

At my wits end :(

OP posts:
MrsHende · 20/12/2014 05:57

I'm sure they were worried about you - if this was out of the ordinary then they were maybe concerned that you'd become unable to hear or get to your child.

This time of year is tough , be kind to yourself.

JellyMould · 20/12/2014 05:59

You poor love. You must be so tired. Your neighbours probably didn't know the situation and thought you might be out or ill/injured, and thought this was the best thing to do.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 20/12/2014 06:01

Are they sure they didn't knock beforehand? And I don't think your neighbour is bad for calling them. Same thing happened to me when dd was just weeks old and had wind every time she cried she sounded distressed so someone called them. It makes you feel rubbish at the time but think of all the kids who genuinely suffer at the hands of their parents where no one calls the police to check on them

Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 06:05

Awww thanks guys.feel much Better after reading your kind forgiving responses. It was the backhandedness that got me - they may well have tried to knock and I wouldn't have heard it, you're right! But wish they'd buzzed the buzzer to wake me at least I'm so embarrassed now that the police came round and scared ss will be in their wake. And really freaked out I didn't wake up :-( I haven't even been drinking, not on any sleeping tablets but was proper comatose!!

OP posts:
nooka · 20/12/2014 06:06

Calling the police does seem a bit surprising but one possibility is that your neighbours thought that there was no one home.

Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 06:11

True.. But i sleep in the living room on the ground floor and my window is WIDE open all night every night! If they were that bothered surely they would have called through? Or looked through, to see me sleeping!!

OP posts:
Ledkr · 20/12/2014 06:21

You sleep with your window open on the ground floor?
Op I'd review this particularly after tonight.

Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 06:25

Haha Ledkr you have a point - nobody could climb in though.

Funnily enough though a few weeks ago the police woke me at half 3 AGAIN tapping and shouting through window thinking there had been a burglar in virtue of window being open.

Seriously - police have more to do with my tiredness than kids. But I can't sleep with window shut n can't get flat anywhere else as broke

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EhricJinglingHisBallsOnHigh · 20/12/2014 07:21

I expect the neighbours didn't actually want to leave their flat at 3 am to buzz your buzzer or look through your window. If your baby was crying long enough for them to get worried, call the police and the police turn up then it must have been a lot of crying. Not blaming you at all but I can see why, if it's unusual for them to hear that and they got worried they would have phoned the police.

insancerre · 20/12/2014 07:40

You should be thankful you have such caring neighbours
Its possible they thought you were ill/dead/out and called the police put of concern for your children and you.
I also suspect that they didn't want to be wandering around and knocking on doors in the early hours. Maybe they had seen the news about the children in Australia and were worried about you.
There's no need to be annoyed. Maybe you could take a box of chocolates/ bunch of flowers around to say sorry/ thank you.
Is there a reason you sleep so deeply? Are you on medication?

Iggly · 20/12/2014 08:46

You need to talk to the doctor about the sleeping - sounds like anxiety keeping you awake :(

Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 09:57

Incanserre - that's a lovely idea, I will post a little note through the letterboxes apologising!

The reason I was sleeping so deeply, I think, was that I was painting my large chest of drawers last night with 3 coats Cuprinol - it has no smell but I've woken up feeling very sick and groggy! It's in the room I sleep.

Certainly not on meds of any kind - I don't do meds, ever, for myself..only ever use natural remedies. Even my (nearly) 2 year old has only had liquid paracetamol once in her life! I'm also usually a well light sleeper!

OP posts:
Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 09:59

Yes Iggly it is anxiety... But nothing a doctor could do about that. Just gotta ride it out. I learned to avoid the doctor when it came to mental issues, many many years ago

OP posts:
JoanHickson · 20/12/2014 10:03

You have a baby no wonder your tired. How wide is your window open?

Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 10:10

Yeah I was reading the other sleep threads, felt so good to know I'm not alone. My son is usually the one that keeps me up though and he's nearly 8! He has trouble falling asleep cos of his autism and also , I never could bear to sleep train him..with my daughter I was way more military (a word??)

It's wide but you'd have to climb right up n be very slim to squeeze in

OP posts:
Hedgehogsbuzz1 · 20/12/2014 10:10

Parenthood is knackering. I know loads of people who accidentally sleep through noise

Finola1step · 20/12/2014 10:15

I too am a bit concerned about you sleeping in a ground floor room with a window wide open.

bakingaddict · 20/12/2014 10:20

If you are suffering from anxiety then you should go to your doctor. Chances are they will be a lot more up-to-date regarding MH issues and treating MH problems. Current best practice is to offer CBT and AD's although there may be a long waiting list for CBT.

If you had diabetes or high BP you would take insulin and BP reducing medication, you should think of depression and anxiety like any other illness. There really is no need to just ride it out, because unless you get given the tools such as CBT and/or medication you will never defeat it

JoanHickson · 20/12/2014 10:22

You may have a neuro issue too. Autism runs in families and doesn't present the same in females. Please stop having the window open that wide op.

taeglas · 20/12/2014 10:27

Op just to say I would be a bit cautious re the Cuprinol in the room you are sleeping in.
Last year the school called my sister re my nephew who kept falling asleep in class one day which is very unusual for him.
My sister took him to the doctor who could not figure out what was the cause.
My sister had been varnishing the doors in their house around this time of year and hadn't realised the effect. Luckily she figured out the cause of his drowsiness.

Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 10:32

I promise from now on I will open the window a bit less wide :-) I agree it just isn't safe though I'm usually a light sleeper!

I wouldn't take antidepressants if you paid me !! I did have CBT counselling two years ago but after a few sessions my therapist discharged me, as I really had nothing of note to talk about haha - I come across a very happy confident person (though everyone knows, I am absolutely insane!)

Thanks for your advice hun but honestly I just solve my probs through diet and natural remedies/ oils/ foods etc. That would include if I had type 2 diabetes or blood pressure problems (I don't but they are solved best through diet)

I literally never visit doc except I would if I had broken bone etc, they are great when it comes to that kinda thing, but that's it. No meds do anything but mask symptoms, if that , except antibiotics and they aren't exactly healthy. However I don't take same view towards kids - in my kids symptom masking is good as I don't want them to be in pain. Sorry that was a bit ranty!! I'm so tired!

OP posts:
Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 10:34

Oh yes and steroids too do more Tha mask symptoms.. Thank god touch wood we don't need them..
Taeglas - thanks for the tip! I'm convinced the paint is what's done it. But on the plus side, my drawers look sexy in the morning light!

OP posts:
Aussiemum78 · 20/12/2014 10:35

I suspect they were worried that you had passed out or hurt yourself. I would have to call under those circumstances too, I'd be so worried something was wrong.

Maybe they felt awkward about knocking on your door? Do you know them?

Can you go apologise, let them know you were exhausted and slept through the baby waking and say you appreciate their concern? They could become friendly with you.

Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 10:38

aussiemum in the cold light of day I agree, they know me by sight but don't really know me (there are 24 apartments in this block of flats) and I am going to send notes to all the surrounding neighbours! I only know one, would be upset if I found out it was her though...

OP posts:
Original poster
cauliflowerfairy · 20/12/2014 10:44

Joan Hickson - thanks that's worth looking into! I don't think there is autism in my family though, my son's. I am convinced, was caused by his heavily medicalised birth in a hospital, I was completely out of control, but still feel so guilty

OP posts: