Anyone got any suggestions how to keep an 8 year old to stay in his bedroom when he wakes up in the middle of night?

[spookyskeleton]

Once he wakes up in the middle of the night, he just keeps getting up.

I need a drink
I need the toilet
I am too hot
I can't sleep
can I get in your bed

and so on.

I appreciate he can't sleep and have told him he can read in bed, listen to audiobooks or music but he stays in his bedroom but he just won't.

Threats and bribery don't work (am going to cancel a planned sleepover at his friends after last nights debacle). Short of putting a lock on the door, I am out of ideas and very tired It feels like I got more sleep when he was a baby!!

Do I just let him get in our bed first time he gets up as that is what he is after??

Help!

No! Don't let him in to your bed! You need to be firm and consistent.

What I would be looking at is WHY is he waking up? Has he always been a light sleeper? Is his room noisy or too bright? Does he genuinely need the loo?

I don't know why he wakes up - it isn't every night, maybe twice a week. He has always slept well but always been prone to waking up in the night and taking a while to go back to sleep (when he was a baby, he had a musical cot toy that he would sometimes just play over and over again for ages at 2 in the morning )

It has got much worse over the last few weeks. Maybe his sleeping pattern has gone to pieces with it being the holidays?

It is easy to say don't let him into our bed but we can be messing about for an hour disturbing everyones sleep

Could he be scared of something (dark, being on own,.....) and just using all these other things as excuses to get up?

To me 8 seems old to have this issue unless he has always been like this and not learnt before.

Not sure - he has fairy lights in his room which he can put on. He shares a room with his little brother (who fortunately sleeps like a log through all this!) so isn't on his own.

He certainly has not said anything...just that he is not tired and can't sleep

Think you could be right about holidays mucking up sleeping pattern.

Does he sleep when he would normally be up during the day?

Is he getting enough outside running around activity during the holidays?

It could just be he is the type of person that does not react well to changes in his routine and needs the routine of school to feel settled.

If your bed is big enough,I would just let him get in. Whatever gets the most sleep for the most people is my mantra.

Is it an attention thing? Tell him that he doesn't need to wake you to go to the loo, make sure he has a drink by his bed. Negotiate what he can and can't do, then try not to engage in the middle of the night.

Maybe I am being harsh - I've never been one for co-sleeping, and wouldn't be able to sleep with a fidgety 8 year old next to me! And once you give in once, it will be harder next time.

At 8 he should be able to understand that everyone needs their sleep, and just because he is awake, doesn't mean he can keep everyone else up.

I would bare in mind that sometimes an 8 year old will have problems expressing an issue. They may feel to grown up to be scared or worried about something daft.

However it may be nothing at all and the little darling just needs the holidays to end so he is worn out and routined by school.

I'm another who would just let him in. He won't be wanting to when he's 16...

I'd put an extra mattress or similar next to your bed so he has the option of either sleeping there or staying in his room quietly but he is not to wake you up. Hopefully the reaassurance of being next to you will help?

My 8yo is too big to just snuggle in bed with us now

If he gets up at a ridiculous time he 's sent back to bed to read. Firs your DS have a bedside lamp?

Firs = does!

It could be his innate biological sleep rhythm, http://slumberwise.com/science/your-ancestors-didnt-sleep-like-you/ segmented sleep was common in the past.

Remove excuses so:

Water bottle by bed for thirst.
He takes himself to the toilet.
Sheet at end of bed to swap with duvet if too hot.

Other suggestions:

Small snack by bed with carbs with milky drink in a thermos to make him sleepy?
Someone suggested stable doors on another thread with a sleep walking toddler, but he might climb over at 8.
Lock on your bedroom door (and downstairs living areas if he is likely to raid cupboards or try and watch TV)? He might get bored and go back to bed if he can't wake you up? Or would he wake his brother?

All good suggestions thank you

Am fairly sure it is purely for cuddles as he is a very cuddly boy (which is lovely but not at 2am ). As soon as he is cuddled in our bed, the fidgeting stops and he goes to sleep so I don't think his 'I am not tired/can't sleep' comments are true.

My 5 year old is like that. Comes into my bed for comfort occasionally, but not every night. In the interests of sleep (baby plus toddler who night wakes, sleep is precious) I vacate my bed and sleep in hers. She is too heavy to lift back into her top bunk and I will not share my bed with an octo-starfish.

In our case it was my being in hospital for two months that triggered it. Did something precipitate this behaviour in your ds or has he always done it?

Yes he has always come into our room for cuddles on and off for as long as he could get out of bed - would have periods of doing it 2-3 times a week and then nothing for weeks. However we successfully used a reward system about 18 months ago and it completely stopped.

But these last few weeks, he has reverted back to wanting cuddles. No major events other than late nights (thanks to the World Cup and then Commonwealth Games etc - he is sports mad!)

We are going away next week so sleeping patterns will be even more awry so wondrting whether it is worth tackling it now anyway