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10 months, not sleeping properly, bit of medical history

2 replies

giblets46 · 13/08/2014 20:58

Hi all, hoping to get some help, as our LO is driving us up the wall, and really not making any improvements. Causing arguments between us also.

He's never slept particularly well, but did have some medical issues which did cause some pain and night wakings til about two months ago.

Currently though, his sleep is awful, he will not sleep without rocking, and we are lucky if we get one good nap during the day, and can take and 1-2hrs to get him to sleep.

His routine is pretty steady, and others who have seen it don't seem to think anything bad (wake at 6, breakfast at 7, nap around 8.30, lunch 12, nap at 1-2, bed at 7 (bath, then story, then breast).

Unfortunately it stops then, he then seems to be full of energy, and I am 'asked' to rock him to sleep (often requiring turns). He will then wake every hour or so, occasionally can be persuaded to gostraight back to sleep, by lying him back down and putting a hand on him, more often he is already standing up, and requires rocking again (I have stated it is a crutch we need to stop, but this often causes arguments). If we do not rock him, or try putting him down even drowsy, he just cries, and sits and stands up, keeps crying, which then gets to the point where he gets almost inconsolable.

My partner is very keen on co-sleeping, though he starts the evening in the cot, when we can get him in there, or rocking and very gently into bed, where one of us has to baby sit him in case he falls out!
I can count on one hand the number of times he has self soothed (occasionally falls asleep on the breast). He normally will be awake the time we go to bed and gets taken in, in the bed, he still wakes often, but is much easier to get back to sleep.

I have tried to encourage my partner to try other methods and to read up (she has brought some books...), she says we've not tried this method 'properly' yet. She believes anything such as the pick up/ put down is CIO, and doesn't want to try any of it.
Personally I do feel she makes excuses for him, he's been 'teething' for the last two months (the two lateral incisors came out over this last weekend, and he was understandably much worse!), is cold, hot, has a cold, etc.

Both of us are struggling with the lack of sleep, and have found my partner crying on a number of occasions.
The health visitor recommended calling in the sleep specialist at the end of the month if things don't improve, but desperately want some advice in the mean time.

OP posts:
kernowmissvyghen · 14/08/2014 00:14

This isn't what you want to hear, but I'm afraid ime some babies just don't sleep as the books ( or other people) say they should! I think your best bet is to try not to get stressed and just accept you have a bad sleeper and it isn't anyone's fault.

My DS only started to sleep properly through the night about a month ago. He will be 3 next month. His sister, on the other hand, has always slept like the proverbial baby - same parenting, same routines etc. I really think they are born wired with their sleep patterns and there's not a huge amount they can be altered by external influences.

Sleep deprivation is hell on earth, but if you have a non-sleeper, there isn't a lot you can do until he grows out of it. Have you got a spare room or space for a single bed in the baby's room? Could you take turns to co-sleep, with whoever is "off duty" sleeping in the single bed? That way you should each get an undisturbed night half the time and you are less likely to go out of your mind with exhaustion...

I am sure lots of people who have children with "normal" sleep patterns will tell you that it's all down to routine, sleep training etc etc, but until you have dealt with a truly non- sleeping child, talk is cheap!

kernowmissvyghen · 14/08/2014 09:17

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/2125789-Catnappers-and-bad-sleepers-support-thread This thread]] might be worth a read, for a bit of solidarity at least!

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