How heavy was your baby when he/she first slept for 8hours straight?

[Handsoff7]

My DD is 4.5months old but was 2 months early and small for dates so still only weighs around 10lbs.

She sleeps well but her limit is about 6hours at night. I suspect this is size related. Books and other posts generally talk about ages which is hard to interpret in my case.

How heavy were yours when they could go for a whole night?

Thanks for the help

oh your one baby and some internet strangers...I see.

Talking about routines and babies sleeping through the night always raises strong opinions.

There are those who swear by the routines and have seen their babies sleep long stretches early on. There is no denying it. Many thousands of people testify to the beneficial effects of sleep and feeding routines, nota just for nighttime sleep, but happy contented babies in the daytime too.

I understand that this causes a variety of reactions. There are people who say they tried to follow the routines and did not get on with them. This then makes them feel that they have failed, and on top of already being tired, is clearly a miserable place to be in. I can see how people might feel like that. It seems then that some of those people then decide the routines are wrong or damaging or whatever. I would say, that just because it has not worked for some individuals, does not mean the routines are incorrect or wrong etc.

It is also true that they are not right for everyone, and that is fine too. I always think the GF routines suit parents who want to be told what to do, are happy to do it fairly rigidly, and who are happy to wait a period of weeks to see results. They suit parents who want a level of control and who are freaked by the random nature of small babies. And there are many parents like that out there, so the routines do have their place. I think it is as wrong for people to decry the routines to new parents, as it is to claim that they are for everyone. People need to be given choices, but they can only have genuine choices if they have all the information.

Regarding this, I think new parents could avoid some of the heartache of the drawn out sleepless period, by knowing that tiny babies get very tired and need to sleep regularly during the day. I think it is also possible to work towards babies self settling, and that awareness of habits which can develop to stop this, can be useful. It is of course fine if parents decide they are not worried if their babies self settle or not,mor if they decide they don't mind if their babies don't nap much, or if they want to co sleep, or whatever....or if they are not bothered by years of getting up at night. If they don't mind, then it is all fine. But I get the impression, that actually many parents do mind a lot. And the routines are there to help them. Okay, they might not work for everyone, and that might make people feel a bit bad, but this is not a reason to say they never work or that the I formation about them should not be put out to new parents,mor even those with older children, who might still benefit from them.

And to those who say the routines are purely for the parents, I would disagree. Yes, a baby sleeping through has huge benefits for parents and are parent not baby inititative, clearly. However there are clear benefits for babies and children too, especially as they get older. We have all seen toddlers who do not sleep in the day, wake numerous times in the night and then Start their days at 5am, and then who struggle to get through the day without far more than the usual number of toddler melt downs,due to sheer tiredness. And I have seen 4 and 5 year olds who have never slept through and need a parents attention 5 or 6 times in the night, who consequently have big concentration difficulties at school. Yes, small babies are likely to wake in the night and there is clearly a range of times they sleep a long stretch, but I would say that beyond a year, the children themselves do lose out from. It getting a decent stretch,and I appreciate that might only be 8 hours, not 12 for some. However to be waking every couple of hours or so beyond a year, seems so damaging to the whole family and I think it is a mistake for parents to be told there is no alternative, just suck it up. There are things that can be tried...none will work for everyone, but that does not mean they should not be out there for people to consider and try.

I think the general thing is that if there were a magic formula that did not involve stress to our babies, we would all be doing it. Nobody, nobody, but nobody, actively wants months or years of broken nights. Many people do not however want to hear their baby scream itself hoarse night after night until it gives up and goes to sleep from nervous exhaustion. But then I guess the people who do feel that it's OK for their very upset baby to be left alone with its misery believe it's better for everyone including the baby for it to sleep solidly, even though scientific research would tend to indicate that baby humans are not designed to sleep for long stretches even at night.

Flame away. I judge anyone who can listen to a tiny baby scream for help for hours and not help it. Unless there are other factors (such as PND) it's inexcusable imo.

My babies were and are completely different. DS needed feeding 2 hourly day and night for months, while dd slept 6-8 hours from 5 or 6 weeks. Still does, unless ill or in a growth spurt (or right now, when very hot). He was a strictly routinised baby (self-set) while she clusterfed all damn day and slept well at night. I got what I was given.

It's frankly idiotic to assume one baby at five months old should be the template for all. Different methods suit different people, but I'd never rigidly adhere to a routine in the face of a distressed baby. I respect parents who do so, as depression in caretakers is also bad for babies and sleep deprivation is a core trigger, so I would never judge anyone who went that route. I would eyeroll the suggestion that anyone who didn't was a less competent parent, though. Would sound suspiciously like guilt-driven rationalising quite frankly. I would have loved more sleep with DS. I just didn't think I could justify the stress and distress the means to obtain it would have caused him.

There are those who swear by the routines and have seen their babies sleep long stretches early on. There is no denying it.

DD created her own. It happened to involve between 6 and 9 hour solid stretches at night. I do wonder how many of the babies who seem to do this on a routine would do it anyway, tbh. I've never left either of mine to cry, and always fed and cuddled on demand while infants.

My 5 year old still doesn't manage 8 hours a night!

Mine was 10lbs and 5 days old when he slept through the night for the first time ... but he didn't do it again until he was around 4 months! No idea how much he weighed. And he'd generally be up at 5 even when he "slept through", have a breakfast feed and then go back to sleep. bf.

Breastfed babies are very difficult to tank up for a splendidly long stretch of sleep

Well, if we're pronouncing based on one baby, I may as well on two: DS was bottle fed. DD is breastfed. The latter is the sleeper. So, erm, bollocks.

Well said perfect storm. You do not need to "tank them up" with either formula or expressed milk to get 8 hours...ds never took a bottle in his life was ebf slept 7-8 hours at 10 weeks extending to 10.5 hours at 4 months when I introduced solids. But as chocolate wombat and greedy say I got him up when he woke between 6 and 7 and did bath, massage bed between 6 and 7 from 5 days old. He also fed 2-3 hourly between 7-7 And was discouraged from sleeping more than a 3 hour stretch in the day after 2 weeks of age.Btw it was my dm's advice that guided me not a stupid book. She has 3 dcs all bf to 12m all slept 8 hours at 2-3 months. ?? Genetics

And to those who say the routines are purely for the parents, I would disagree.

I said making the baby sleep longer is mostly for the parents. A bedtime routine is pretty essential as they get older, toddlers like to know what to expect. :)

Mine were both fed to asleep until they stopped by themselves, never left to cry occasional Co sleeping for parts of the night etc.

They both have brush teeth, story, cuddle, sleep as a routine and have since babies.

They also had their own pattern for nap time and settled into one a day after lunch.

It seems a lot harder work to try and force a baby into a routine you've decided on. :)

Oh and they both learned to go to sleep by themselves at different times, one was truly awful at sleeping all night after the first one being ok.

Dd1 9lb 4pz and 6 weeks, dd2 about 16lbs and 7 months!

Greedy.. yes books are good. I read a lot of them. The very clever researchers at Durham also read a lot of them. They also conduct research. This is to avoid advice coming out based on small populations of people (like a baby group or one family) and instead looks at larger geoups of babies and mothers.

if you.click through the site to something like "normal sleep behaviour" you will see what, having studied tons of babies sleep, is normal baby sleep behaviour.

This is a properly researched study. Not one book by one person!

its worth looking at to see what is "normal". Certainly certain aproaches work for certain mothers/babies and thats great for them... but you honestly can't generalise that to all babiea.

That's something that will come up repeatedly once your child grows. My first child was never a bolter so you put it down to xyz. No 2 child is and it makes you see they really are different people.

its easy to judge other parents when their babies/children are different to yours. But its honestly not nice and not the case that if they just did the same as you (in whatever area) that theyd get the same results.

Sorry I'm late back to the discussion but I've just woken from a ten-hour stretch

So..we've exhausted the 'you are waterboarding your baybeee!!' debate and now we have the 'you allow your baby to vomit itself to sleep from sheer wretched exhaustion?!!' brigade No-one advocates leaving a baby in distress. Let me repeat that for the attachment parents/alarmists/idiots: No-one advocates leaving a baby in distress. As the genius Dr Weissbleuth attests: you are not making your baby cry, you are allowing him to cry - and not for long periods. It is less traumatic than when your baby is strapped in the back of your car on a motorway and screaming his head off for ages. No breast. No comfort.

My baby has never 'screamed herself hoarse' , or been abandoned or neglected or any of the other accusations that anti-routine hysterics like to throw at sensible mums. The OP is looking for ways to stretch out her baby's sleep and I - and other routine mums - have come to offer alternative suggestions to suck it up. We have discovered the joys of unbroken nights (bliss for baby aswell as mum) and do not like to see other mums miserable with sleeplessness. It doesn't have to be like that. Things can change. Chocolate, you are eminently sensible and have articulated much better than I what I've been trying to say (although I get the impression some of these posters are simply looking for any excuse to call us smug and/or cruel).

OP, I wish you well as you hopefully implement some sort of routine for your baby

Defensive much greedy?

Allowing them to cry? What does that even mean?

I think it is a misunderstanding of the GF routines to think it is advocated that babies should be left to cry for hours.
There is the suggestion that when babies go to bed or when they wake, it is not always good to rush to them immediately. This is because they often make a few crying noises, but then go off to sleep. Rushing to them on their first cry, never gives them the chance to wake and then self settle quickly back to sleep. A parent can quickly tell if a baby is 'crying up' or 'crying down' and goes to the baby who is crying up, but gives the crying down baby a few minutes to wind down to sleep. This is in no way the same as saying they should be left to cry for hours.

And the routines have no requirement to do controlled crying at all....it simply isn't needed for babies that do the routines from early days, because they tend to sleep through before 6 months, and before that any night time crying is due to hunger and of course is responded to immediately. From what I have seen, controlled crying is something g that those with older babies and children sometimes do, when they are trying to break negative sleep association habits.....but this is a different thing entirely to the routines.

It IS hard to hear a baby cry and 30 seconds can feel like an hour. I used to look at the clock and watch for 30 seconds to pass and listen again to see what the tone of the crying was.....just murmurings quietening down or something building up to a crescendo which needed attention. Older babies who find their cry is always immediately responded to, will quickly get into a habit of doing this every time they wake, which is often 10 times in a night. There is no need to be going to a baby that often. And I have often seen parents leap to their feet instantly their babies cry. I always want to say 'just give it a moment and see' but of course I don't.

Again, I say, routines are not for everyone. They can be hugely beneficial for some people though. And even people who do not want to follow a strict routine can probably take something from them about the principles of self settling and the like.

Very interesting link. I interpret it as saying the majority of babies do 5-6 hours at 6 week and 8 hours by 16 weeks. Which ties in with my experience (on SCBU). I cant see where it says its normal for dcs to wake up several times a night beyond 6 months.

greedy and chocolate I'm not sure if you're reading a different thread here?

I've not seen any hysterics about cc or anything here.

Just the assertion that it is wrong to tell new mums to expect babies to sleep through/do 8 or 12 hours. Or that if their babies don't they should withhold milk or comfort to persuade them not to wake.

Yes jumping up at every squeak is not necessary, no one has said they do that either.

I also think that quoting extreme examples of 5 year oops still up every night its unhelpful

Olds not oops!

I think the idea that you must teach them to self settle or they will never do it, is the overall idea that bugs me.

Like its almost inevitable that they have to be a but upset to learn.

I don't think milk should be withheld to persuade babies not to wake. And I don't think babies should be refused comfort.....but if they want it 10 times in the night, I'm not keen on just giving that without any attempt to reduce the amount, or to increase the ability to go back to sleep. And I don't see self settling as something that has to cause babies lots of suffering to achieve. At the same time, parents need to be realistic that trying something once or twice does not always work and might need a bit of perseverance. No doubt, it is harder the older the child.

I said it is equally wrong to tell new parents their child WILL sleep through at a certain point, but it is equally wrong to lead them to believe they will have to put up with years of no sleep. What new parents need is INFORMATION...about all the different approaches, such as co-sleeping, feeding on demand, routines, breast feeding, formula feeding etc etc. there are pros and cons of each of these, which need pointing out, and then parents can decide what they want to do.

I maintain that lots of night waking beyond 6 months and certainly beyond a year,should not be said to be the norm. As someone up thread said, the evidence does not support it. Unfortunately, I think that sometimes parents who have experienced very long term night wakings want new parents to hear it is the norm, as somehow it makes them feel better. I imagine that years and years of broken nights is very debilitating and it then galling for those parents to hear about babies sleeping through at 6 months....but it is the reality. And new parents need to hear about things they might consider doing to bring longer stretches of sleep nearer (if that is something they want to achieve) rather than being told you just have to put up with it. If they then don't want to try the approaches, then fine. Or if they try them and don't get on with them, fine. But at least give people the chance to try and have hope that sleep may be closer than some people would suggest.

But self settling isn't really an achievement, is it? [Confused]

Is just something they do, when they're ready as far as I can see.

I've not seen any hysterics about cc or anything here. Really? Try this from the hand-wringing Duchesse:

Many people do not however want to hear their baby scream itself hoarse night after night until it gives up and goes to sleep from nervous exhaustion. But then I guess the people who do feel that it's OK for their very upset baby to be left alone with its misery...

Flame away. I judge anyone who can listen to a tiny baby scream for help for hours and not help it...

DSis first baby was a parental routine imposed baby. DSis spent hours every day getting her to sleep and could never be out at certain times of day as Dniece's nap was crucially at home. DNiece slept moderately well, all thanks to routine, thought my sister.

DNephew who arrived 18 months later was a different kettle of fish. . I think he might have slept through the night by 3. Years.

Meh. Greedy. You bore me now. It's like being back in NCT group with the judgy mares who thought it was all about routine.

Wait until you have your second child, then come back and tell me all about it. Better still, wait until your children are teenagers.

No, it's not an achievement, but a means to an end.
I see it as a pre requisite for consistently sleeping longer stretches. It has no value in itself, beyond its impact on ability to be put to bed easily, to go back to sleep when waking through the night and probably to be able to wake in the morning and be contented for a little while on ones own.

I expect most people will do it of their own accord, at some point as you say. For some people this seems to take about 7 years, which is fine if you are happy to wait that long and don't see disturbed nights for that length of time for both adults and children, as something to be avoided if possible. Many babies and children can do it far sooner than that if given a little direction towards it.

Fine if you are not bothered about your baby/child self settling until whenever and don't mind getting up to them into the longer term. It's like lots of things....you can totally go with the flow if you want to, or intervene a little.