I may have some good advice? It might work, it might not..
Around 4 weeks ago, my 9 month old ds had never self soothed or slept through the night. The longest he had slept was 4 hours. Once.
He had to be breastfed to sleep every single time he woke up so no help from dh either. He used to wake every 2-3 hours but had got to a point where he was waking every 45 mins-1 hour. I was exhausted.
I had heard of controlled crying but absolutely did not want to try it. I still cant even think of just shutting the door and walking away with him crying and wanting me.
One very early morning after being woken at 4 (after justgetting back into bed at 3.30) I snapped. I went to his cot, comforted him (didnt feed him) but then pulled up and chair and sat down. I just pretended to be asleep. I did have squinty eyes so I could see him to make sure he wasnt hurting himself but he was fine.
He cried for 45 minutes until he layed down and went tosleep. It was the longest 45 mins of my life and I was sceptical that I was wasting my time and it might not even work. It would take a miracle to make my never slept through non self soother go to sleep. But it worked.
In the morning, he didn't hate me or give me death stares for leaving him to cry which I had been worried about. He was still so full of love and happiness and he did not seem bothered in the slightest!
When my dh mentioned doing it for day time naps I actually laughed. Surely not two miracles in less then 24hrs! But sure enough when nap time came, I put him in his cot after a feed (still awake!), he cried, he stood up, layed back down and went to sleep! All in about 20 mins.
I have since moved the chair away from his cot to the corner of the room but now sit just outside his door as he still looks to make sure I'm still there as hes going to sleep.
It has been hard but not as hard as I thought and I'm kicking myself I left it this late. You just need to be consistent. My rules are:
× Feed if he wakes before 12pm. (He did this when I was weaning his off night feeds. He has since cut this out too)
× Comfort him whens he wakes by picking up and singing, lay him down and sit yourself down.
× Bring a phone, book or actually do go to sleep whilst sitting there. (I only watched him the first couple of nights as they get so tired while crying they start falling over or banging head on cot)
× Do not move or say shush while sitting there. The idea is to enforce they need to get themselves to sleep. If you react to their crying, they will keep crying!
× When it looks like they've fallen asleep, wait 10 mins!!.Do not move straight away as they probably are not in a deep enough sleep yet or they're just tricking you!
× If you know if a pain cry, give calpol and pick up and cuddle etc but then lay him back down and sit down.
× Make it the same time every night time so he knows its coming! For naps, just make sure hes exhausted as if hes not he will scream and scream. He needs to be very tired but not over tired.
× if you do want to try this, put him to bed as normal butthen start this during the night. The idea is that hopefully he's too tired to put up a fight.
wow, this is proving to be long! My ds is 10 months now and sleeps from 7 -5.30. I absolutely recommend doing this method, buy the 3rd day he had it! Now if fifty fifty, sometimes he goes down without a sound but others he cries. I always count how many seconds he cries for and very very rarely do I get past the number 10!!
I hope you find this useful! Trust me, it is easier then it looks and it really works! I have my evenings and my bed back and it feels amazing! Feel free to pm any questions. Sorry for the overly long post!