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Original poster

4 month old bed time !

26 replies

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 30/05/2014 10:36

I haven't yet mastered proper bedtime yet , I know I'm rubbish!

Every night about 7pm ds goes to sleep in his carry cot then I nappy change and feed around 10pm and we take him up with us where he settles in his cot. Ideally though, I want to put him straight in his cot upstairs at 7pm. I need my evenings back , chatting to dp and watching game of thrones ha ha instead of creeping around and shhhh shhhh to visitors etc.

I also want him to nap in his cot in the day time . Yesterday the man came to read the electric metre and ds got woken up from his nap. It's hard to creep around during the day and poor visitors told to shhhh all the time.

So far the baby has resisted all attempts! If I put him down sleepy he'll just roll around chatting til he gets cranky and cries and if I put him down asleep he'll wake up within 20 mins and start shouting .

Need help please

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missknows · 30/05/2014 13:46

I have been writing on here myself about getting no sleep so probably not the best person to advice but my baby is now 4.5 months and I felt the same a few weeks ago.

For 2 weeks now I take baby upstairs when I think she needs a nap and she looks tired. I sit on my bed with her in my arms, give her her dummy and wait for her to fall asleep then put her in her cot. She use to wake very quickly or even immediately but is getting much better and now stays asleep in the cot for a reasonable amount of time for her nap. Putting her down sleepy is the next hurdle but at the moment she is having none of that and just looks at me as if to say "I don't think so"

Original poster
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 30/05/2014 15:48

Thank you for your reply, Miss!

Looks like perseverance is the key.......

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missknows · 30/05/2014 16:41

Will add though, my baby is a light sleeper and cot or living room she wakes at noise. I made sure it was always loud during the day when she was tiny (people talking, tv on etc) but once she hit 4 months that was it. Awake at the slightest noise and boy does she get mad when she's woken!

Littlef00t · 30/05/2014 16:45

Just finished meeting with my HV about same issue. We have been doing spaced soothing for our LO which isn't for everyone but works really well for us.

Taken upstairs, into gro bag, quick cuddle to ensure calm, into cot. She will cry, pat and shush until calm again, leave. She will cry, leave to cry for 1 min, back in to pat and shush until calm, leave for 2mins and repeat, leave for 3 mins. Don't repeat for more than 20min duration for naps, bit longer at night. Working pretty well.

Also was suggested to have something to look at in cot, toy, book, mobile etc.

Littlef00t · 30/05/2014 16:47

So I'd suggest put down sleepy, then spaced soothing when starts crying.

Original poster
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 30/05/2014 17:45

Thanks little foot.

I think I am going to try this tonight . He does have a mobile in his cot that holds his interest for a little while. I am dreading it and having visions of failure already! Fingers crossed.....

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Original poster
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 30/05/2014 19:33

Update.....he had a bath ,bottle and cuddle and put him in his cot at 7pm. I did some tidying up , bit and pieces in the bedroom so he could see me walking about. He whined a few times so I picked him up rocked him, put him back.

I came downstairs and it's all gone silent....just checked on him and he's stroking his muslin and with his eyes closed, so not a deep sleep yet.

I've sent dp out to the supermarket as I feel more confident doing this alone. I get really stressed if someone else is here ! Silly I know !

Fingers crossed for an easy night :-)

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Rachie1986 · 30/05/2014 19:38

At least your lo does sleep in the evening!! 5month old dd doesn't go down until at least 10pm here and any attempts at an earlier bedtime just turn into a nap and then wide awake! Feeds a lot in the evening still too.

Original poster
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 30/05/2014 19:53

It ain't over til the fat lady sings! ATM he looks deeply asleep , floppy arm and everything.

But whe dp and ds come in shouting and hollering over the football it could all change.

Rachie it could be you just have a night owl. I'm an early to bed person so maybe my ds takes after me....we are early risers too! Are you or his dad a night owl?

All babies are different I guess.

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Original poster
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 30/05/2014 19:54

Sorry I meant dss

I am a first time mum and rather clueless

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missknows · 30/05/2014 20:17

Aw that's brill. Maybe I really should try putting my baby down awake but she just stays awake doing nothing. So much quicker to let her sleep in my arms then put her down.

Let us know how your little one goes through the night as I'm having awful trouble with mine waking every 90 mins after 12 o clock as she can't get herself back to sleep.

feekerry · 30/05/2014 20:26

Trying the same with 16 wk ds. I get soooo hot holding him in the evening in the living room. Plus he wakes at the slightest noise.
Tonight is the first night. He fell asleep at 7 in the living room so i moved him into cot in our room. He slept for 40mins then woke screaming as obv realised where he was.
Brought him back thru to living room where he fell drowsy so popped him back in room with mobile where he is currently moaning.

feekerry · 30/05/2014 20:29

I just can't be arsed tbh. In the living room he Will happily fall asleep on my lap or chest. Seems so much hassle getting up and constantly try to settle him in our room.
Maybe putting him down awake would be better

Original poster
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 30/05/2014 20:30

Baby still asleep. Dp and dss under orders to watch football quietly and I'm hoping no one scores a goal and therefore no screaming and whooping lol sorry England fans!

Missknows, he usually only woke once or twice for bottles....but now at this 4 month mark he is waking to thrash around and babble ,not even hungry times. He used to be easy to settle but during this " regression" only if I cuddle him in bed with me. But I'm getting strict now ha ha ha

I've had too many people my mum and her generation telling me about their babies sleeping and napping in their cots and sleeping through the night. Maybe I'm just a wimp lol and too soft

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feekerry · 30/05/2014 20:51

Yep ds wakes thrashing about. Hardly ever wants fed. He is currently sleeping on my lap as i gave up!
Dd is 2 now and sleeps like a dream but was a hard slog re sleep till about 20 months and i so don't want ds to be like that but on the other hand i just can't be bothered!

Original poster
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 30/05/2014 20:59

Yes to being hot holding him ha ha . I out mine down to the extra baby weight I am still carrying. Seriously I get so sweaty lol

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missknows · 30/05/2014 21:06

Yes yes yes to the thrashing around malarkey. By 3 I usually give up and let her sleep on me just so I can doze for a couple of hours.

I had her asleep at 7.30 tonight. Put in cot, woke 30 mins later. Tried leaving her but now given up as still not asleep so letting her gnaw at boob to get back to sleep.

feekerry · 30/05/2014 21:35

Ye ds sleeps okay at night till exactly 3.34am and then we have all this wriggling and thrashing. I too usually just bring him into bed to.dose.
My white flag is well and truly out...path of least resistance and all that...xx

Original poster
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 31/05/2014 15:11

update on last night.

he slept like a dream in his cot he murmured at 10.30pm , so I gave him his bottle and changed his nappy - he did not fully wake ! he went straight back to sleep and we went to bed too. at 1.30 and 5 ish he woke for milk - settled straight back. we got up at 7.30am.

I do think that letting him start his sleep up there alone in peace helped him sleep more deeply and restfully.

today i decided he might like to try his naps in his cot ....oh well that taught me not to be flash !

he refused his morning nap, started crying and got so overtired he worked himself right up. this went on for an hour around lunchtime and I finally settled him into a light nap. on a blanket in the living room.

ha ha oh the irony!

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missknows · 31/05/2014 19:41

ooo that's good. progress :)

well my update- baby went to sleep about 7.30 then woke after an hour as usual, took half an hour to settle (as usual) then stayed asleep until 12 when I fed her. She then woke again at 3 so fed her again. Then woke at 4.30 but instead of feeding her I cuddled her and she went straight back to sleep until 6 :)
Fed her at 6 and she then went back to sleep again but I was sat up awake by then so let her sleep across me on a pillow how she fell asleep until she woke at 8!

Been down for 3 naps in the cot today but still by being given the dummy to fall asleep in our arms then transferred to cot.

She is currently upstairs with my husband- he has given her a bottle of expressed milk and is now getting her off to sleep. We are testing if she will be ok going to sleep for him so I can go back to football training one evening a week! She has only ever had me to go to sleep at night and only started taking expressed milk a few days ago so lots of new stuff going on this weekend! It's all quiet at the minute. Is it bad that part of me feel a little sad that I'm not 'needed'?

feekerry · 31/05/2014 20:51

Well after i gave up last night felt more determined today. Ds had his morning nap in cot in our room. Slept for 55 mins which i thought was quite good. But i did have white noise app going in background. But seems to keep him asleep.
Tonight is a disaster really. I just don't see how other people get their babies to sleep in a cot. It just never happens for me. All of my babies end up sleeping on me or in my bed.
Does my head in. Other people seem to have babies that sleep on cots

missknows · 31/05/2014 20:55

Mine won't go to sleep in the cot feekerry, I just trick her and lay her down so carefully she doesn't wake. How you get a baby down 'drowsy' I don't know as if mine wakes as I put her down she just screams and if I put her down fully awake she just plays.

Was going well here tonight until I decided to play about with photo frames and dropped the glass on the floor making a huge noise and baby woke :( oops

feekerry · 31/05/2014 21:15

Its crazy isn't it? I just don't get these folk who 'put their babies down'
Second time round for me and both babies just sleep on me.
Meh. Maybe they have nothing better to do than get their babies down. jealous not

Original poster
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 01/06/2014 11:59

hello ladies

persistence is the key! ds now napping upstairs in his cot , after yesterday's big disaster!. I make sure I have a pile of clothes to put away or some other chores upstairs so that when I put him down (sleepy ) he can see me around , which I think reassures him enough to fall asleep.

I think the baby knows he is going to get a better sleep up there as I have a 4 year old step-son , who even shouts when he whispers bless him :-) .he's adorable and it just wasn't fair for him to creep around when the baby is sleeping in the lounge

I do feel bad though when ds wakes up and he sees he's alone....like I've tricked him lol

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feekerry · 01/06/2014 19:29

Well done brolly
How do you get him sleepy tho? Ds gets really cranky if he is almost asleep and i put him down..but i see that's the issue here.
Going to come up with a plan of action and implement tomorrow.
With a toddler as well i just can't be bothered spending all evening trying to get ds settled on his own. But burning up holding him all evening every evening