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Original poster

Starting sleep training tonight.

81 replies

Trenzalor · 07/05/2014 19:11

I've cracked and on advice from the HV have started gradual retreat tonight. Forty five minutes and still whimpering/crying. Sigh.

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Original poster
Trenzalor · 10/05/2014 21:10

Asleep within half an hour.

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grainmum · 11/05/2014 07:15

DS was asleep within half an hour too, then awake around 1am and around 2.30. Ended up feeding him then he was asleep from 3.30 til 5.45. He seems much better this morning so we might be back to tough love overnight tonight!

Original poster
Trenzalor · 11/05/2014 10:38

She slept seven hours fifty one minutes before briefly waking. That's the longest she's ever slept!

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FarToGo · 11/05/2014 14:09

This sounds like something I need to do!
The thing is, we are in the habit of feeding to sleep, if I put my daughter in her cot awake she will stand up and cry.
Do I just sit there? I've a feeling that may wind her up more Hmm
Does this method also work for multiple night wakings?
I need help and I'm too tired to construct my own thread!

grainmum · 11/05/2014 16:38

trenzalor wow I'm jealous! DS is much better today, no fever so back to tough love tonight! Welcome Emma, this definitely works better if you can watch very carefully and take them off breast before sleeping. Then when she is in cot, sit next to her, you can talk to her and touch her if that helps, eventually she will lie down and go to sleep. I haven't had much success with night wakings but haven't really fully followed the rules I.e. have lifted DS out of cot, fed if crying for more than 30 mins etc. It's hard in the middle of the night when you're tired.

grainmum · 11/05/2014 16:39

oops should have said welcome fartogo, getting confused!

Original poster
Trenzalor · 11/05/2014 20:00

My LO was feeding at the breast eleven times during the night before sleep training. If you do a mumsnet search for sleep+what worked for us that's basically what I'm doing.

Night five has begun! She's exhausted so we'll probably get more tears.

fartogo this will change your life! You just have to know there will be some tears (let's face it LOs will cry at most things) so stick some headphones in.

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Original poster
Trenzalor · 11/05/2014 20:12

Asleep in under fifteen tonight.

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FarToGo · 12/05/2014 10:46

I'd like to start tonight but I fear my resolve won't withstand her fury.
She has been unwell over the last few days (temp and off food, still BF well) should I wait until she's fully better? She's happy and jolly today, eaten a little better at breakfast.
I just don't know if I have the strength!

TeaAddict235 · 12/05/2014 14:02

hello ladies, can I join? the HV told me too that DS (13wo) needs to self soothe to sleep. We (mainly me) started last Friday with bumps along the way. I try and put him down before he has completely closed his eyes. But, the minute I put him down, he springs back alive! It takes currently between 3-5 tries for it to work. When he wakes up disgruntled with me putting him down during the sleep training, he screams and bashes his arms across his face.

I kind of wish that we had practiced from the beginning just putting him down to drift off, but every family member and friend wanted to hold him while he was sleeping, and we obliged.

At nights he sleeps for 3hrs, bf, then 2hrs, bf again, awake for 20mins, then sleeps 2hrs again in his cot before cosleeping until the morning.

where am I going wrong?

Original poster
Trenzalor · 12/05/2014 16:51

Far I would definitely wait until your LO is better.

Tea your LO is still so young. Mine didn't 'get' self settling til about eight months. I don't think sleep training is really recommended until after six months and my HV said wait until they're eight and if they haven't got it by then it's time for sleep training.

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grainmum · 12/05/2014 19:07

50 minutes to get to sleep last night, then awake at 10 and 11.30, but then I think asleep until 5.45....as far as I remember!

ColdTeaAgain · 12/05/2014 19:44

TeaAddict I agree with Trenz, 13weeks is very young to worry about self settling and multiple night feeds are still very normal at this age.

Hi Trenz, am following your thread with interest as I think we may have to try this method at some point. Had a false start with it last week and I gave up after 90 mins as I was beyond tired and we both needed sleep.

For almost the whole 90mins DD stood up in the cot and cried and cried, no signs of giving in at all! If I laid her back down it distressed her even more as she thought I was picking her up Sad I am wondering if she put up that much of a fight whether this could work for us at all?

Original poster
Trenzalor · 12/05/2014 20:04

Night six asleep in eighteen minutes with no crying.

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Sunshine200 · 12/05/2014 20:18

Thank you for this thread, I didn't think mumsnetters did sleep training! I'm sleep training tonight too and my insides feel like they are in knots, dd has been going for 50 minutes so far. It's a few days in and doesn't seem to be working, think I'm doing it all wrong :( she has just developed a cold so feel so mean but don't want to undo any work (for all the good it's done!). Good to know what I'm experiencing is normal though. Friend's babies all seem to drop off after 20 minutes max. Going up for a soothe now!

Original poster
Trenzalor · 12/05/2014 21:37

I'm doing gradual retreat so I'm always within sight. Someone suggested to me, when she was taking ages to get off, that I may be putting her down too early so I pushed it back a bit which seemed to work.

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ColdTeaAgain · 12/05/2014 22:00

I sat next to her the whole 90mins Sad
A couple of times she sat down for 5 mins and whined and I thought she was going to calm down and settle but it was like she was just taking a breather and she'd get up and it'd all escalate again!

What time are you putting to bed trenz?

TeaAddict235 · 12/05/2014 22:04

thanks ladies, but why would my HV tell me that it is overdue for DS to self soothe?

Anyway, all the best ladies for tonight. I hope that your LOs don't give you a tough time.

grainmum · 12/05/2014 22:15

30 minutes but still had to put my hand through cot bars for him to flop down onto! Much less than I did last night however.

ColdTeaAgain · 12/05/2014 22:18

HV's are notorious for being very opinionated and do not always give good or even correct advice unfortunately. Of course, many of them are great and are lifesavers!
Go with your instincts for now Smile

grainmum · 12/05/2014 22:20

Tea I think at that age we we're still doing whatever worked. Maybe ask around other people you know who have babies? The number of young babies I think who can just be laid down awake and fall asleep themselves is quite small I think.

Original poster
Trenzalor · 13/05/2014 02:18

Agreed, some HVs are great and some give very odd advice.

We aim for around half seven but move it each way depending in the quality of the nap that day.

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Original poster
Trenzalor · 13/05/2014 02:20

Btw ninety was our first time - headphones and something to listen to.

She's been awake an hour and a half now with intermittent crying hence my posting at stupid o'clock.

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grainmum · 13/05/2014 19:50

Only one wake-up last night - but it was 1h15 of intense crying and I'm afraid I did pick him up. I'm rather pleased I didn't feed though. Asleep in 20mins tonight (with hand through cot). Tomorrow I think I should withdraw my hand and move away a bit. And tonight no getting out of the cot!

Original poster
Trenzalor · 13/05/2014 20:35

Night seven and I sat in the doorway. She was asleep within fifteen with no crying. If only nap time was so easy!

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