Seriously though, my 8 week old just will not sleep

[mrsmugoo]

I posted a couple of weeks ago as I was having trouble setting my DS (8 weeks) to sleep both at night and in the day. It's got worse.

I'm not looking for him to sleep through the night or for a routine. I know he's tiny and am completely accepting of broken nights sleep, and happy for him to sleep anywhere, anyhow - but he just will. Not. Sleep.

In the last 24 hours he's slept 4 hours overnight. Screamed blue murder from 8pm last night after his bath when I started trying to feed/settle him off to sleep (I was in bed, watching documentaries on Netflix with a cup of tea and snacks next to me before anyone tells me to relax and chill out in the evenings and feed him as long as necessary and not try to impose a set bed time). In between cluster feeding he would grizzle and squirm and arch his back/kick out his legs and refuse to be held in any position, including the sling and the ergo.

I finally got him off to sleep on my shoulder at midnight by which time I was seriously losing the plot with tiredness. He slept til 2, fed and changed and back in by 3 then slept til 5. At 5 after feeding I brought him in with me. Where he basically just grizzled til 7am and I threw in the towel.

Since about 9:30am I've tried everything to get him back to sleep for a nap - feeding, rocking, shushing, patting, in the swing, walked out in the pushchair (he woke up as soon as I stopped moving), out in the car with DH (woke up as soon as the car stopped moving). He's currently out in the car for a second attempt. We can't keep walking and driving around indefinitely!

I am simply shattered after 4 hours sleep last night and its exhausting pacing round the house with him on my shoulder or pounding the pavements. This is a typical day at the moment.

At night sometimes we co-sleep, sometimes I put him in the Moses basket but his sleep is no better then the day I brought him home from the hospital. I don't mind the night feeds and wakings but it's the not going to sleep til late, sleeping super short spells and the not going back to sleep after feeds that I'm finding so hard. My nights sleep hardly ever total more than 5 or 6 hours in bursts of an hour to 2 hours at a time. 8 weeks in and the newborn novelty is wearing off and I would really like to be seeing longer spells now - I'm broken!

He's so over tired right now its not even funny - he's getting to the stage where he's inconsolable and we have this most evenings now.

I'm sure it's just a phase and it will pass, he won't be doing this when he's a teenager but I'm struggling day to day at the moment. Any pearls of wisdom? Apart from my own tiredness, I'm actually worried that the poor mite himself just isn't getting enough sleep.

although I can't pass any pearls of wisdom I can totally empathise with you. my lo is 4 weeks and what you've described sums my days up perfectly. the lack of sleep is exhausting me and I have resorted to co sleeping to get at least a couple of hours. I am now trying every option as she won't settle at all in Moses. we're getting a crib tomorrow as slightly bigger ( my lo is very long!!)
you are not alone although it feels that way when we're up at 2am pleading them to sleep so we can!

Do you have a swing you could try him in? Our DD would cry constantly in the evenings. We were given a swing at 8 weeks and it helps calm her and she sometimes naps in it. Might stop him getting over tired.

Poor you, you have my total sympathy too.. Try taking him to a Chiropractor, some of them specialise in treating babies and they really can work miracles. I have a friend who does it. What was the birth like? Sometimes if born even slightly awkwardly or by forceps or c section their necks / head can need minor adjustments which sort them right out. They also manipulate the tummy and can help with digestion if causing probs. it is all v gentle touch, could be worth a try. Other suggestions could it be reflux? Do you use a dummy? Try to remember that this is just a phase and will pass I promise X

Thanks for your replies ladies.

We have a swing, it doesn't settle him or chill him out at all. Thankfully it's only borrowed!

He was born by ELCS due to being breech so maybe you're on to something with the chiropractor. Have also had CO recommended.

I do think he may be a little bit refluxy as he hates being laid flat. I have started to lie him on his side and bolster him with rolled up blankets.

We are also about to replace the MBA with a crib because he's long and flails his arms about loads. I wrap him in his blanket sort of like a swaddle but he always escapes his arms and I think that might wake him up. When he falls asleep in out bed he loves being all spread out.

Oh op my dd is like this so I really feel for you

She's 4 weeks though

No advice am afraid as my other dc were fantastic sleepers pretty much from the first couple of weeks. But watching for any advice !! I hope your dp / dh is doing his bit though? X

Been there. DS is 15 weeks and, from weeks 1-10 I honestly never got more than 4 hours of sleep in24. Very much like your DC, he could not settle; arching back, kicking, groaning, writhing and crying through his light sleep.

HV mentioned that he was the most unhappy baby she had ever come across so I did a bit of research and eventually went to the GP and he was diagnosed with reflux.

Two days of ranitidine and he was a completely different baby. He went from not sleeping during the day to two 1h naps (still not amazing but a bloody miracle considering where we had been) and doing 11-3 then 4-630.

Things are deteriorating this week (DS is an early teether and it's throwing everything up in the air) but it may be something to consider if the symptoms don't ease up in the next few weeks.

Huge amounts of empathy. I'm beyond shattered and know how draining it is, especially when everyone else around you seems to have babies that don't spend their days screaming, nap on demand and are quite happy to watch the world go by, rather than being constantly jiggled and surgically attached to your hip.

If one more person tells me "it will get better" ill punch them in the face.

I'd reckon you're missing his sweet spot. He should be awake for about an hour max at any time and this includes feeding. So say this morning you were up at 7, feeding til 7.30-45 you should have tried to settle to sleep by 8am. I would start tryin at 7.55 so as to not miss the sweet spot.

Also re the arching, he sounds windy during the cluster feeding. Could you try infacol or similar and also try winding him? My mw said that bf babies don't need winding but ds did!

Sounds like silent reflux to me - get it checked out. Gripe water was brill for mine and cranial osteopathy was brilliant

Oh my god reading screaming out reflux reflux reflux !!

Arching back not liking lying down etc etc

There are Facebook groups with knowledgeable mums you can ask them but please make gp appointment and document everything ! I put up with this not knowing for tooooo long . Also yes get checked by cranial osteopath . What milk is he having ? If breast feeing they still get dairy through your milk as it can be closely related to cows milk protein intolerance . See how you go but he does seem to be displaying symptoms that need investigating so don't be fobbed off like I was !!

I realise there's a sweet spot for babies before they get over tired, but an hour after waking this morning DH and I were enjoying coos and giggles from him in our bed. If I started trying to rock him off to sleep after only bring awake an hour I would be trying to put an alert, happy baby to sleep which seems a shame and would almost certainly be futile anyway.

When I say he's arching his back it's just to wriggle and escape being held!

He has suffered from trapped wind - infacol didn't work but gripe water seems to. He hasn't had trapped wind today though.

Oh please try. These babies are so Damn sneaky when it comes to tired signs. By the time they look tired they're passed it.

He's EBF by the way. Won't take a bottle so can't top him up with EBM or formula at night.

Ill definitely give it a try, I'll try anything!

Oh no - you have my sympathy, my DS was like this and it nearly killed me. We ended up getting a silent reflux & milk allergy diagnosed, wasn't an overnight cure but helped hugely. He's now 6 months and so much happier for not being massively overtired all the time. We still have the odd horrible night of hourly wake ups but also often have 2 hr cot naps in the day, the odd 3 hr stretch at night. Good luck!

Please do - when the penny dropped for me, it was amazing. I did turn into a clock watching obsessive but it meant that I knew if I wanted to go out, I had an hour to get ready from when he next woke up. If he was in the pram by that point, he would go over easily and if not, he'd be an overtired mess.

This is my favourite link, I promise I'm not on commission for the amount I post it in the sleep section but it's a guide for how long to be awake for their age www.mybabysleepguide.com/2013/02/average-sleep-charts-by-age.html

I also only learned from experience. I used to keep ds awake in the afternoon in the hope he'd sleep at night but all that happened was he was an overtired mess. Sleep = more sleep IME (not sleeping through though unfortunately but waking up, feeding and going straight back down for a total of 12 hours at night)

Sympathies, mine was a crap sleeper for 5 months. Used to do 2 hours at a time at night and stay awake for 12 hours plus in the day. Never napped.

Here's some tips that worked for us:

Swaddling (we used the swaddle me wraps, has Velcro so they can't get out.)
White noise app (69p on App Store, best money I ever spent, changed our life.)

Also sounds like yours might have silent reflux. Ours had a touch and also cows milk intolerance. We switched to hypoallergenic milk and dr browns bottles and this helped.

Sympathies. It was the darkest period of my life and I will never have another child as a result.

Can you give the baby to someone/anyone in the day so you can get your head down for a nap?

Our third baby didn't sleep unless on me or dh. We took it in turns to hold her and sleep. Things gradually started to get better from about 15 weeks.

Yes luckily I have a SIL with a baby too and my wonderful MIL comes most days to help is both out, take the babies, bring us food, give us moral support etc.. I don't know what I would do without that support.

I've send that sleep chart before and I just assumed it was another thing that "they" say the "textbook" baby should do and took it with a pinch of salt.

I'd try for 3 days or so and see how he takes to it. He may just need less sleep than the average and that's all that the chart is based upon but it may make things easier if he does take to it. You'll know by the end of 3 days if it's going to improve things a little.

Silent reflux, unless he's vomiting lots in which case standard reflux. My little boy was like that and he's now on ranitidine, which is working marvellously. I would see your GP. Big hugs it's awful.

Obvs I'm not a doctor and can't say for certain it might be SR but it sounds very similar to how my little boy was. At his worst he would flinch every time someone touched him

He doesn't vomit so silent reflux could be it. He does sleep quite well on his side.

I'm going to try putting something under the Moses basket so it's on an incline tonight I think.

Silevt reflux been checked?
Try cranial osteopathy, prop up bed and push for pead ref
Do not be fobbed off by gavisgon

Get checked for reflux.
If not...
We used miracle blankets for swaddle. Amazing.
We had white noise things for both of ours, the dream sheep is still going 17 months later.
And I agree with the sleep charts thing. They really can't be awake for very long. 1.5 max at that age. And that includes time awake for feeding!

You can buy special wedge things for them to sleep on if it is reflux.
See your GP.